Unfortunately, none of us are qualified to tell you with absolute certainty that your son is indeed okay. Everything you have described in your post sounds "normal" to me but he needs a trained professional to work with him one on one for that proper evaluation to be made.
Now, I can tell you that my first daughter was a late talker. She said one or two words here and there. If she wanted something she resorted to pointing to it and getting our attention by bringing us to whatever she wanted but she would stubbornly refuse to say anything I tried to get her to say. Since she was my first born, I did speak to my ped about her speech and although my ped at the time reassured me that every child has his/her own timetable for speech, he recommended that I have her evaluated by a speech therapist with our local Easter Seals. I took her for an evaluation and she checked out fine in all areas. Except for her speech and since she was under 3 years old at the time, we qualified for free once a week one hour speech therapy in our home. A woman came to my home once a week with various books and toys (things I already had), sat down on the floor with my daughter (something I had been doing all along) and played with her. I was doing that so I didn't see how this woman was going to help but it was free. She worked with my daughter for several months and at the end of the therapy my daughter was NOT talking any more than when the therapy began. I was pregnant with our second child during this time and once the baby was born it was like something magical occurred. My first born began talking! I remember my second child was maybe 3 weeks old and my first born just blurted out a full sentence. My husband (her daddy) and I just looked at each other in awe. I figured my daughter had been taking it all in ~ all the talking we did, all the reading we did, all the reinforcing her to say this or that ~ and one day all on her own she decided SHE was ready to show us what she could do and boy, we were blown away. Fast forward with child number two, she was an extremely late talker. She did not actively begin talking until she was well past 3 1/2 years old and since I knew her big sister was a late talker, I figured this was something that probably would repeat itself with siblings. Therefore I was not worried. I knew my child was capable of doing and saying what I wanted her to say but she was being stubborn. With my second daughter, she DID require speech once she entered the school system. When I enrolled her in kindergarten, I was concerned that she would have a problem because she had a hard time pronouncing various sounds and it was MY insistence that got her the speech therapy in school. I did not want my daughter to struggle in school, nor did I want her to be teased by other children because she could not pronounce certain sounds so she began speech therapy in kindergarten and was released at the end of second grade. To date, both my children speak very well, very clearly.
If I were you, I would continue to work with your son until you get him that second evaluation. A lot can change from now until then so get down on his level (the floor) and don't pressure him to say things but DO encourage it. Grab books, magazines and look through them together with you taking his finger and pointing and say, "this is a girl," "this is a cat, " "this cat is black." I think you get the idea. Have blocks? Have him help you build a tall tower with them. These are things the speech therapist did with my first daughter but I had already been doing that so it just really enforced what was expected from my daughter. Don't worry about things you cannot change. You cannot change that your son may have a speech delay but you CAN help him by reading to him, talking to him, playing with him in a way that is teaching him to talk and he won't even realize it.
As for the eating, I would stop feeding him. I honestly would. Can he eat with his hands? Some children do not like any kind of utensils. It's a skill that will be mastered in time but if he can eat with his hands, why not? I know it's messy but he and the things around him are washable. But you need to encourage him to do some of these things on his own, especially if you feel that he is capable of doing so. If he fusses because he wants your attention to feed him, make honest excuses like, "you go ahead and get started, mommy needs to finish making her lunch, or mommy needs to finish washing up these dishes." And see if he will self feed on his own this way.