I Think My 3 Year Old Is over Weight

Hi E.,

I hope what I write below won't be offensive. I don't know you so I am only guessing at what's going on. I didn't know much about cooking and diet (I thought I was eating a good diet of foods before I changed what my family was eating.) So I am only guessing that you might need a little help in that area too.

I see you're trying to limit her fat intake with 1% milk.
One thing to remember is that fat is important for the body, especially the brain. You want to have the good fats and not so much of the bad fats. So getting the low-fat milk is good. You just want to be sure to get the important fats found in ocean fish, canola oil, flaxseed oil (don't use in a fry pan),...

You mostly have to be careful about sugar. Seeing that she only wants strawberry flavored milk, I'm guessing you might be giving her something like Nesquik or a flavored syrup. If you look at the label, you'll find sugar and you'll probably find high fructose corn syrup if it's a strawberry flavored syrup. If she's asking for milk A LOT and it has to have strawberry flavoriong, she's probably getting A LOT of sugar. Hence, she's probably gaining a lot of weight. High fructose corn syrup is the sugar that the body converts to fat the quickest. Read the labels on food you purchase.

I'm concerned too about how thirsty she is. I wonder if she is substituting the strawberry flavored milk for food. Why is her stomach so empty that she can be downing so much milk? Is she eating a lot of pasta? Pasta has a lot of complex sugars that break down into simple sugars in the intestines. Lots of sugar puts a strain on her insulin levels. A person gets hungry faster after having carbohydrates than after having protein.

Since I'm not a dietician, I would suggest you go to one to learn about what she is eating, what she should be eating, and what will keep her full longer - protein. Protein packs more energy than sugar and it does not disrupt the insulin levels, as far as I know - I can't imagine how it could.

As for strawberry flavored milk, I'd use real straberries if you aren't already doing that. More nutrition as opposed to the flavored sugar varieties which are also full of artificial colors.

Good luck!
: ) Maureen

Hi E.,

You are right to be so concerned. It is difficult to feed our children nutritious foods in this fast food nation. With so many of us on the go we don't eat at home as much and most of the choices on the go are fat and calorie laden.

In addition to it being difficult to find good fast food alternatives, children are much less active than years ago. Neighborhoods are not the same as they were, mothers and children are frequently not home in the daytime and there are more concerns and awareness of child safety. Fears of abduction, etc. so children do not have the opportunity to play freely outdoors. (I realize your daughter is still very young, but as she gets older not having the opportunity to freely play leaves she, like many children, sedentary and often they reach for a snack out of boredom)

It sounds like you are doing many of the right things. Your daughter may be drinking too many of her calories. The lowfat milk is a good choice, but you need to limit her to about 16 ounces a day. The strawberry flavoring is also probably very sweet which acts as an appetite stimulant. High sugar content will give her a burst of energy but it is followed by a crash and a desire for more sweet snacks. If she is drinking alot of the milk, she will not be hungry for the healthier choices. The fruit snacks are also bad choices. Really no different than candy disguised as health food.

If you can, try to get your daughter to eat more fresh fruits and vegatables. They will provide her with natural sugars, but are also filled with vitamins and fiber so they are nutritious and will leave her more satisfied.

Also provide plenty of lean meats (avoid frozen or fried)to provide protein, vital to growth and development. I sometimes buy a rotisserie chicken, remove the skin and cut up the meat. My girls will eat the chicken cold with fruit the next day for lunch. Another good choice is eggs. My daughters love them scrambled or boiled.

Also avoid excess carbohyrates. Children do not need much, if any, in the way of pasta's, breads, rice, cakes, cookies, pastries. Use them as very occasional treats.

Provide lowfat milk or water to drink and avoid all soda and juice which are calore laden, stimulate appetite and have no real nutritional value. If you can get your daughter to eat yogurt or yogurt drinks (just read the labels and make sure they also are not filled with addes sugars and chemicals. They provide plenty of calcium with less fat.

Best wishes to you and your family.

J. L.

Hi E.,

You have given us a lot of information here, but I actually think that more is needed. Your daughter weighs 51 pounds, but you didn't give a height--they go together. You need to find out what she eats at your sister's house--your daughter, you need to know what is going into her body. Has her pedi indicated a problem? Personally, I go to a dietician. Because of that, my children (ages 4 1/2 and 17 months) benefit from her expertise combined with the pedi.

She should not consume more than 20 ounces of milk per day. After the age of 2, she can go to 2%, after 3, 1%. Her fruit snacks are the only kind that I can find that do not have any type of sugar listed as the first 3 ingredients--yes, you have to do some sleuthing here. I only let her eat them at the dr's office, and when they're gone, they're gone. Her breakfast is original cheerios, 2 eggs (at most), 1 serving waffles, 6 ounces lowfat yogurt. Lunch is 4 ounces meat/fish (protein) and 2 servings veggies/fruits. Dinner is about 6 ounces meat/fish (protein) and 2 servings fruit/veggies. These are the most I will let her eat. She generally eats less. If she incorporates a snack, then I take it from another part of her daily menu. After she finishes her 18 ounces of milk, I give her water with a slight amount of juice added--the small (and I mean SMALL) amount of juice helps the cells absorb the water better than when it is consumed alone.

It might not be a bad idea to get some help with her if you are concerned. There will be some days when she eats a little more and some when she eats a little less--they will balance themselves out. However, speaking from experience, you do not want to get her on the losing weight cycle. Try to curtail her habits now without a constant barrage of "you can't eat this, you can't eat that." It will help you in the long run.

Well, she is very tall for a three years old so I wouldn't be concerned about the weight given her height. What has the pediatrician said? How does she look. My twin daughters are very tall for their age. They are four and 46 in and 53 pounds and are in 100th percentile but they dont look overweight because of their height. Also it is good for them to snack even if it seems all day.Just think of the size of their stomach(size if their fist). Plus it is better for us to eat six small meals a day then 3 large meals anyway so you need to think like that. Kids have uncontrolable amount of energy and they need the food to keep up with them. It all depends on what you feed them. I did read too that feeding them high carbs in the morning will make them crave more carbs through the day, so stick with high protein in the morning(eggs and fresh fruit). Also for snacks, fruit and veggies are a good pick me up.Also if you can get her to drink more water too,she will feel fuller more.I know it is tough to make changes,espesically with water,but they do adjust.I always make sure I have a water cup available to them at all times.If she has a favorite cup,start with that. I wouldn't worry yet if her pediatrician isn't. She is tall for 3.

I would talk to your pediatrician and see what s/he says. I know that cutting the strawberry from the milk can save on calories and sugar but it probably will not make a huge difference.

If you or your husband or other family members are heavy set, perhaps it is her build to be on the bigger side.

I know that childhood obesity and such is a controversial issue but at age three perhaps she just has some growing to do to absorb some of the chubbiness that you are concerned about.

Our daughters stats would make someone think that she is fat but in fact she is very rock solid, broad shoulders and gymnast like thighs. She is about 32" tall and 32 pounds. She is only 2.

Go with your instinct E., I would let your Dr. be your first stop.

unless your pedi is concerned don't worry about it. All kids grow at differrent rates.. so over the next couple of year she might not gain anything just get taller. been there seen that with the kids in my family.

I agree about consulting a pediatric nutritionist. What you can try is to ask your sister to keep a journal for a few days- noting EVERYTHING that your daughter has to eat and drink, and generally when. The problem is almost never having too much fat, your baby needs that for her brain and nerve development. The problem is carbs- in the form of sugars (sweetened milk) and snacky foods like puffed cereals, Cheerios, pretzels- the usual finger food fare. Research shows that eating even one meal or snack high in these in the morning, makes one crave more carbs and overdo it on calories later in the day (for adults, too!) Try to concentrate more on how to add more foods to her day, whole grains, whole fruits and veggies so that she fills up on these, instead. And don't offer the sweet stuff, except as a rare treat.

Hi. Its hard to tell if you have a weight problem w/ your 3 year old w/o a height given. One thing that might help you is once a child turns 2 they should be drinking low fat milk. You should also try to break the habbit of strawberry milk there is a lot of sugar in that stuff same w/ fruit snacks. Try getting her to munch on veggies instead. if she's very active and is still putting weight on maybe you should ask your doc to test her thyroid maybe hers is underactive. You should also find out what she eats when she's not home. If you don't approve of what they feed her pack her a lunch and healthy snacks.

Hello E....I found this URL and it may be very helpful for you! http://www.pediatricservices.com/parents/pc-62.htm
Blessings, N.

Dear E., I wish it were as simple as my giving you advice and 'presto!' you follow it and your daughter not have to deal with a lifetime issue of 'weight related' situations. This seems to be an ongoing concern of yours, as I read your 2007 note as well and you wrote of her 'need' for 3 bottles of milk before bedtime etc...Ofcourse you should consult
your pediatrician on this one. And, if he/she advises you to do 'a b and c' then make a commitment to do so. If you haven't insurance and seeking medical advise at this time is difficult for you, then use common sense and your wonderful natural maternal instinct and realize that your child does NOT need as much calves milk as the Dairy industry would like us all to believe! Children drink mother's milk...CALVES drink cow's milk! This is one of the reasons there are so many lactose intolerant children out there...much research has been done about the 'myth of milk' and its importance in our diet...but thats' another story and one we don't need to battle here in this space...but please look and scrutinize what EXACTLY is going into your daughter's body. If you are serious, really serious, about changing the way you and your daughter interact together around food, then be HONEST about what you are putting into her, what your daycare provider and family members are giving her...Be committed to not giving her ANY product with HIGH FRUCTOSE syrup EVER EVER EVER...NOthing with WHITE SUGAR in it, and that means NO SODA in case you do, which I would like to think you don't:) at 3 years of age...NO items with WHITE FLOUR in it, which means cookies and cakes and candy etc...Look at the amount of overall DAIRY PRODUCTS she receives in her diet, which includes ICE CREAM... try to introduce plain low fat yogurt and mix yummy fresh blueberries with a LITTLE natural sweetener such as honey i.e....come on...you know the rap. Expect definite withdrawal from your daughter as you wean her off food with sugar in it...are you still putting strawberry syrup in her milk by the way? Bad stuff...red dye has been shown to be very mood altering, never mind all the high fructose, which is probably why she screams for it as it is very addictive...okay...gotta go. I get a little crazy with children and nutrition...long story short is if you really want to do something to change the way your daughter looks and feels, you can...you are her best chance in starting out healthy....GO FOR IT! N.

I would put her on a feeding schedule with 3 meals and no more than two small snacks a day. Milk only at mealtimes and water with snack or any other time she asks for a drink. Just because she is asking for food doesn't mean she is really hungry. I would also ask my sister what the typical feeding schedule is for the day. I would request that she follow the same meal and snack schedule that you have at home. I would also discuss portion size and make sure that she is not getting second helpings. If you are still concerned I would ask to see a specialist in nutrition. I'm not sure where you live, but if you are really concerned I would also talk to the pediatrician about a visit to a child obesity clinic. There is one at children's hospital boston.

51 pounds is DEFINITELY overweight for a barely three year old.

Look for hidden sources of calories. I would eliminate milk and juice entirely from her drink sources. The MOST milk she should be getting a day is 16 ounces (2 cups) of skim milk. That strawberry additive is nothing but sugar and unhealthy chemicals. Stop buying it!

Focus on keeping fruits and raw veggies in the house for a snack. If she says she's thirsty, offer her a glass of water. If you feel you MUST give her milk, make it plain skim milk, and make it part of her breakfast and dinner in an open cup, no sippies/bottles and no drinking it throughout the day. No juice. Just water.

Fruit snacks are unhealthy regardless of weight...just more processed sugar and chemicals. When you go shopping, shop around the edges of the store...produce, meats, dairy, and the bakery. Stay away from the aisles as much as you can!

Also, has she seen her pediatrician lately?

Here are a couple things I thought of. I know with my 2yr old I was just told by the DR that she doesnt need the whole milk now, I think she said 2%. So perhaps if she drinks a lot of milk maybe you want to give her the skim milk. I know easier said than done about giving up the strawberry flavor if that is what she is use to. If you get the syrup and make it yourself, give her a very small amount in her milk. (dont buy the already mixed milk)

I would also try your best to eliminate the sugary snacks, again, easier said than done. What does she eat for lunch? If she eats deli meat, maybe try something more like a sliced turkey or chicken for lunch. As far as fruit and veggies, I know my kids perfer them raw rather than cooked.

Perhaps you can get with her caregiver during the day and go over exactly what she is eating, maybe opt to make her lunch and snacks to take along with her for the day.

Browse around stores like Whole Foods for healthy alternatives for kids snacks. Oh..... one more thing, with juices look for the lower sugar ones, or I sometimes water the juice down a little. Offer water whenever you can.

Finally, I would talk to her DR about this if you havent already. Perhaps he/she can help you, or refer you and your child to a nutritionist that can help with meal and snack selections.

I think you are a very smart and caring mother to recognize this, I think you are on the right road to maintaining your childs health.
Best of Luck

I really think you should talk to your Peditrician about this as my son is 5 1/2 and weighs 42 pounds. Is she exrta tall? what is she on the charts? 50%? 90%?.

I think your sister may be the problem here since you say she eats healthy at home, strawberry milk alone would not do this. Is she only eating Mac n Cheese? or things like that full of butter?

Look at her % on the chart and then you will now if things need to change and talk to her doctor. Have a talk with your sister and maybe even send perferred food over there for her to eat as being over weight can cause things besides teasing, she could start to develope very early and that is a trauma for any little girl trying to fit in.

Go over what you all eat and maybe make some changes to how much and what she is eating..it is for her benefit that things need to change.

My three year old went through a phase this year where she was always asking for a juice and snack even when she had just finished a meal. Her eating schedule changed when we moved and her older sister had to leave for PM kindergarten causing us to eat lunch at 11 AM. It seemed like she always wanted something and a lot of it was linked to her being bored or tired. With summer vacation upon us we have a more consistant eating schedule and are very busy. Her demands for drinks and snacks has gone way down and her weight evened out too.
I don't know if this helps at all but a more evenly spaced eating routine and activity really turned my 3 year old around.