I Think That My Son May Have Anxiety Issues.

My Daughter has aniexty and although she manafests in a different way, her mind may think in the same way. He is old enough to talk to you about what is bothering him(or maybe dad). Bring up some of the transition issues you talked about and get his thoughts. I know my daughter needs lots of reassurence when she has a change in her routine. She is very down on her self. Im not sure but I thnik part of having a bowel movement is satisfaction and relaxation, sounds strange but Im sure we can all agree that its a good feeling most times. If your son is feeling down he may be depriving himself ofd that or unable to relax to get the job done. Beofre tring to give laxatives to force the issue(which could have him pooping his pant at school not a good thing!) try talking it out and reassuring him. Maybe if possible take him to work with you and include him in the transition process. If your interested in a good behavior specialist call Dr. Brooks Donald. Hes at the helathpartners clinic on 25th ave in Mlps. Good luck.
B.

J.,
It seems to me that this is not a purely physical issue, like he eats to much cheese and then can't go. HE is intentionally holding, which makes it seem like it may possibly be related to stress as you suggested. Counseling may not be a bad option, since fiber or laxatives would only address the physical issue. Holding BM's in children is occasionally linked to control..he's possbily feeling like he can't control anything in his life(new sibling, starting school), so he's controlling this. Helping him to feel more in control of his life and decisions in a manner appropriate to his age may be helpful. Godd Luck, you will get through this!
S.

My son also went through this around the age of 5. The Dr. told us the same thing. So I added more fiber to his diet and gave him all the grapes, apples, applesauce and raisins he wanted, it seems to have helped. He hasn’t had an accident for quite awhile. The long term effect of holding his BM's is what really scared me.
This is also a great time of year to find whole apple cider my kids love it!
Good luck,
T.

Keep up the good work. When I was a child I had dairy allergy issues we didn't know about and I was frequently constipated and then would 'blow'. I had a really stressful childhood as well, and as I got older I attributed the constipation to that. Now as an adult, I realize that the dairy plus the stress is the worst trigger of all. Either one can be a problem but put them together and it is really uncomfortable! So I guess what I'm trying to say is there could be more than one cause of the challenge here, and when they come together it can be big time! Obviously drinking plenty of water, eating fiberous foods like lettuce and broccoli with every meal, and maybe taking a probiotic can help.

It does sound like when you make a major change is his life (new baby - preschool - now your working) is when he has this issue. I would say that a child therapist would be benificial to your son and your family, so that your son can learn how to express his feelings so that they dont get bottled up and turn into a physical ailment. The therapist can also teach your family how to help your son as well. That is just as important. (I know this one first hand - I had stress issues as a young teen that turned into major stomach problems and until I learned to deal with stress- they just got worse) It may seem embarrassing to you to take him to a therapist but the mental health of a child is just a important as the physical health because they go hand in hand. One really important thing to remember is if you do seek the help of a therapist is to make sure that you AND your son is comfortable/receptive to the therapist. If your gut say that it isn't the right person then it probably isn't.
One note about the laxatives- Perhaps what you should try first to see if it works or not. Is a natural laxative like Prunes, or pears. yes I said pears, I thought it odd when my pediatician said to give my daughter pear juice when she got constipated. What will also help is to cut back on the foods the essentially "plug you up" - Apples and bananas are the two culprits I know of.
I wish you the best of luck.

Hi J.,
Try not to jump ahead to "his whole life" although it is so easy to do. Kids live in the moment. Have you ever seen them fight with friends and then, the next minute, they are Best Friends Forever again? They get over things - we could learn from that, right?

Maybe it would be helpful to break the issue down into pieces so it doesn't feel so overwhelming. One issue is the constipation. My son takes Miralax which is probably something similar to what would be prescribed to your son. It's a powder we dissolve in his juice that softens the stool so that it is easier for them to pass.

It is up to you to work with the dose which is not the fun part. We went through what could only be described as "colon blow" because we were giving him too much :). My son is 5 and he gets a tsp on Monday, Wednesday and Friday at dinner. I'll tell you another nice side effect is that he is "time trained" now so that he only poops in the evening - RARELY at school, church etc. He gets a warm bath on those nights and viola! Works every time.

I have seen, in my kids, where one "win" or success can be so motivating to them to improve in other areas. They feel so proud of themselves - and, of course, you praise them like crazy! Make a pact with your husband that you will only praise and make as little deal about the mistakes as possible. One "NO" needs 9 "YES"s (that's a good rule for our marriages too:) ). For a child who craves attention you have to be careful that any negative attention doesn't become a substitute for what he really needs. I would keep quiet on what you are doing with the constipation and give only positive praise for successes.

I would start there before going to the psychologist but keep that option in your back pocket. I have more ideas if you are interested but I always write too much in here!!

Good luck - you are a good mommy!