I Want My Son to Call Me "Momma" My Husband Won't Respect That

I hate being called anything but Mom. When ever my daughter calls me Mama, I tell her that not my name don't call me it! (She got it from one of her friends)

Just like Patty H reply below, I too am just the opposite. My 18 yr old always called me mom, and I always thought if I ever got married again and had more kids, I would want them to call me mommy. Well I married into a true German family and it was always mama & papa from the beginning. I'm ok with it though, but still think mommy is cute :D

im going to take a guess that this is not the main issue that you and your husband have.

get someone to watch your son, take a drive, and see if he cant open up about it. just whatever you do try to be calm and rational and patient. maybe theres a reason he has an aversion to momma. :)

after all, even if you were called straight mommy all the time, kids developmentally will sometimes use mama, thats where it comes from after all! LOL. your child shouldnt be pressured to do things a certain way when it really doesnt matter what he calls you.

but im pretty sure that what your son is calling you is not the issue. theres got to be something else going on here.

I was the same way. I hated "mommy". My 1st called me Momma into his toddlerhood, but as time has gone by, and two children later, I am now called Mommy and Momma is a thing of the past. What I found was that even though we used Momma at home, everyone else in the world, it seemed, said Mommy. And it gradually became a bigger part of his vocabulary. What I also found was that as time went by, it didn't matter so much what they called me, because coming from them, it carried nothing but love. So whether it was Momma or Mommy, it was sweet to my ears, and I am sad to think that someday they will drop the end and I will just be Mom. I have learned what Mommy means. It means, "you are my everything, the one I love, the one I trust, the one who will always be there for me, my best friend, my biggest fan, at times the only one who can make things better just by being there... my everything". I don't know if that will help you, but when you hear Mommy try saying, "I am your everything" and it may help you feel ok with it.

I agree with a lot of other posts. I also think that if your husband doesn't feel comfortable calling you Momma, then you should respect that. Maybe it's strange, awkward, or doesn't feel right for him to call his wife by that. Just like in my household, my husband doesn't really like the nickname that I have for our youngest, so he doesn't use it. He has another nickname for him.

I think everyone should read Janette L's reply... LOVE IT!

K.,

With me, it was for the grandparent's name... with multiple grandparents, I thought that it would be nice to have each grandparent a different name. For example: gramma and grandpa for one, nanna and papa for another, etc. What I found out is that the child(ren) think of their own names.
For my son, it was (at first) Ama and Bumpa - now "the bike grandma and grandma" and the other was "Ami and Boppi" and still does.
For my daughter, she calls one "the bike gramma and grandpa" and the other (the one my son called Ami and Boppi), "the new gramma and grandpa" (which is funny, cuz she's the older of the two grandmas - maybe she looks new to her? - lol).

Whatever the case, if you just refer to yourself to your child (when you speak to him) as mamma, maybe your son will call you that eventually. I think he will come up with what he wants on his own.

As far as your husband... I will agree with the "pick your battles" comment. I think as long as you told him you prefer mamma as opposed to mommy... he should respect that. If not, just bite your tongue. Your son loves you no matter what he is calling you!

Hope this helps you...

))hugs((
~SR

P.S.
I don't think it's fair to K. to call this a silly complaint. We should all feel comfortable coming to other Moms with things that bother us.
K. - Do not let these comments bother you. I think it was a fair question/opinion asked.

My son started out calling me mom. I guess it was easier for him to say than mommy or momma. He calls his dad 'd'..he tends to drop the first part of some words so instead of daddy, its dy. Then just recently, he started calling me momma. It's cute cuz it almost sounds like he's bouncing that last a off the word. And all along, we've been referring to me as mommy. They will use whatever feels right to them. As for your husband not respecting your wishs.. I would have a talk with him. Voice your concerns, it's not about what you would like your son to call you, it's about you both being on the same team. About respecting each other's wishes and having open communication that is equally respected and understood.

Hi K.! Does he associate "Momma" with something negative? This sounds silly but I HATE hearing mothers called "Ma". I remember that my uncle always called my aunt "Ma" and he was always so disrespectful of her and I always heard "Ma" coupled with a rude order or a put down. I know that "Ma" in itself is not negative- I just associate it with negativity.

Mabey your husband does the same? Something to think about! :)

My daughter calls me Momma, Mama, Mommy, Mom, or any related thing she feels like! They are all fine! I love them all. There is no "right" or new-fashioned term in my opinion. Let it go! Your son will figure out what feels right for him as he gets older.

Like others have said, pick your battles AND let the kid call you what HE is comfortable calling you. I have never heard such a silly complaint.

Seems to me...Most children will side with mom/momma/mama/mommy's wishes on what she wants to be called so your husband's input is probably not going to win out.

My husband has always been "papa" and so with our first, "mama" seemed the natural compliment. Our second tends to use "mommy" as I think he picked it up from his cousin. To be honest, I will answer to anything they call me as long as it is said sweetly (as opposed to demanding or whining) : D

I'm grown with my own children now, but I remember being young and my mom forcing us to call her momma. She wouldn't reply unless we referred to her has momma. It was very difficult for us growning up as it just wasn't natural to be forced to call our mommy by a name she picked out. The word still brings back unhappy memories, and I never forced my daughters to call me something different than what came natural to them. They both call me mom or mommy, my older daughter even calls me mother sometimes, but in a very endearing way, and that's OK with me. I love them and I am certain they love me as well. I'm sure you son loves you very much, and maybe you could learn to love whatever mommy name he picks out for you. Know that he's picking it because he loves you.

Mommy is the most current term used by today's standards, Momma or Mama is an old fashioned term. You can not force your husband to make the change but you can teach your son what to call you. Just remember that this name won't last long, by the time he is 6 or 7 he will probably call you mom.. period. I wouldn't force the issue but encourage your son to call you by what you wish.

Since when did momma and mama become old fashioned? Who decreed that one? This is so unimportant. You love your child, your child loves you, they will figure out what feels right for them and you will learn to respond to whatever they call you and your heart will be filled with joy no matter what words they use.

I wouldn't fret too much over what you are called it is constantly changing. Both my kids call us different things. We even get the Mom-dad, da-mom from the kids as they sometimes can't remember who they are talking to...lol Just like we changed what we called our parents growing up over the years they will also.

I think if you keep refering to yourself as Mama, your son will probably call you Mama most of the time. Unless you absolutely despise being called Mommy (which it doesn't sound like is the case), then I'd let it go. Like someone else said, pick your battles. He probably grew up calling his Mom, Mom or Mommy, and it sounds odd to call you Mama. It's probably as simple as that. I don't care if my daughter calls me Mom, Mama, or Mommy, and she does all three. My husband hates "Mama" though and even asked me why I let her call me Mama. It's just personal preference. I wouldn't correct your son for calling you Mommy though, because it would just confuse him.

Let your son choose what he wants to call you. He will call you momma or mommy and soon it will be Mother! Don't make a big deal out of something like this because kids take any disagreement as a huge argument and that causes them to stress. My granddaughter started out calling my husband "papa" and as she got older and speaking more she started calling him grandpa. Now she is differing between all the different grandma and grandpas I am grandma S. and he is grandpa Kevin.

My daughter was around 2 when she started calling my inlaws "grandma donkey" and "grandpa donkey" At first I thought it was because my father in laws name is Don. Then she started calling my parents "grandma e'phant" and "grandpa e'phant" and I was really at loss until I asked her why she called my mom "grandma e'phant". She replied "cuz she is a w'pub'ican" I guess she asked my mother in law why there was donkeys and elephants on the advertising for election. She started doing this on her own and we got some really funny looks when she would call my mom that in public but she always was so cute how she explained it.

Relax and enjoy your son and don't sweat the small stuff... and this is small stuff

I think it's just one of those "pick your battle" type issues that maybe is just better left alone. I'm the opposite from you. I want my kids to call me mommy, not mama but my husband ALWAYs refers to me as mama. I've told him it bothers me, but he doesn't respect it either. My kids call me both and even call me just "mom" already (at ages 3 & 1). I just always refer to myself as "mommy" and hope it sticks. Try not to let it bother you too much and just keep referring to yourself by what you want to be called when you are in front of your son.

I think anything about what's old fashioned or "appropriate" is ridiculous. Unless it's something horribly offense, who cares if a mom is mommy, mom, mama, mum, mummy, mam, mammy...whatever. It's personal.

Good luck!

What your kids call you sort of evolves over time. I've noticed this with my own mother, and my son. When he was just learning to talk, initially it was 'Da Da', but he was reaching for me. Then it was 'Ma Ma'. A few years later it was 'Mommy'. Right now, if he's having an attitude, I'll tell him he needs to call me 'Mommy Goddess'. As I became a teenager, I'd call my Mom 'Mom' or 'Mother' if I was really exasperated with her. And then, because it seem to carry the loudest it would be "Ma - I'm home!" when ever I walked in the door after school. Over time you'll get called a lot of variations and I've come to love them all.

I had the opposite problem. I wanted my son to call me Mommy, but my husband called me Momma and would not remember to say Mommy. I eventually got used to it and now can't imagine being called anything else. My son is now almost 5 and my 2 year old daughter calls me Mamma meema...something she came up with herself. Just remember to be thankful you have a husband that cares for your family so you can be a SAHM... I know I am thankful for mine!

I can't believe this is even an issue between you and your husband. Let your son call you whatever he wants to. My son started as momma but switched to mommy as he got older. Does it really make that big a difference? What matters is that he loves you as his mother. I say pick your battles!

leave it up ti your son - i am from wales where we call our mothers mammy - when i moved to the states i knew this was not appropriate lol, so i switched to mama, then as he got older he switched himself to mom, it seems to evolve as children age. let him call you whatever he feels comfy with

All I have to say is pick your battles... This isn't one I'd personally pick..

I love that my kids call me Momma! I think Mommy sounds kinda whiny, actually (of course, that's my opinion!). I do think with your husband, it's not a fight worth fighting, but you can encourage your son to call you Momma, instead of Mommy. I disagree that he will automatically call you Mom eventually, however. My son is almost 9 and still calls me Momma and I have a friend who has 3 in college and one in high school and still call her Momma (not all the time, though).

K.- not sure how to help with your husband not respecting what you wish but just a word of "knowledge" I have 3 kids 10,6,&4 and they all call me different mom names at different times and different situations. Mom, Mommy, momma, ma and of course the whinney mommmeeeeee (LOL) i don't think you can really train you kids to call you exactly what you want and even if they start out that way because that is what you taught them as a baby it will change. Luckily I haven't been called the attitudey "mother!" yet! I'm sure its coming one day. Mostly my 10 year old son calls me mom but on occasion he calls me mommy. My 6 year old daughter mostly calls me momma and she has a unique way of saying it.... hard to explain but it is a very quick short word. My youngest called mommy and mom. They call each other different things too.... sissy, sister, bubby, brother, etc. I don't think the issue with your husband is about what name he calls you I think maybe it is that you feel he doesn't respect you or care enough to remember your wishes. Good luck!

It doesn't seem you've gotten much help so far, other than suggesting that you accept things as they are. Don't feel discouraged. My second son calls me Mama and I love it. I think it's OK to encourage him to call you Mama by referring to yourself as such when looking at pictures etc. You also could do some subtle behavior mod. by responding more quickly or cheerfully when he says mama without going to the extreme of not answering when he call you by another name.
Shame on your husband for not supporting you!