I Want to Go Back to Work!!!

I'm just wondering how you will work the one car thing. Unless you have good public transportation.

Regardless, look into subsidized daycare programs in your area. Here, we have a county counsel that sets you up with providers that have been background checked and charge on a sliding scale, etc.
It's in place to help parents work.
You might try looking into that.
With your husband's hours, he needs sleep and I don't know where he'd fit in a second job. He could come home and feed her while you sleep and then you could take her to daycare on your way to work.
I don't know....I hope you can work it out.
It sounds like it will take some juggling, to be sure.

I did daycare in my home for a husband and wife who one worked graveyard and one worked nights and in between, I had their little boy so they could rest and sleep. I was just around the corner so it worked out really well. They were private pay, but like I said, there should hopefully be programs to assist with daycare for families where both parents work.

Best wishes.

He sure has a lot of excuses, doesn't he? If going back won't pay for child case then don't bother. What your baby needs is both of you caring for her. If he is willing to work two jobs then that's great. You need to make more of an effort to get out and meet people. Is there a nearby recreation center that you can take the bus to? Yes, it'll be hard since you don't have a car and you have to take the baby and stroller down 3 flights of stairs. But you chose to to get pregnant under less than ideal conditions: unmarried, tiny apartment, one car, low-paying jobs. Other people have done it and so can you. Lots of dads don't get enough sleep because they are helping care for their babies. Other moms go stir-crazy in the house so they do something about it like try to meet other moms so they can go walking together or at least meet for coffee for adult conversation. Both of you need to make tough decisions. That's part of growing up and becoming parents. Usually people grow up and then become parents. But becoming a young parent forces you to grow up if you want to be a good parent. And that's what you are facing.

My husband took a p/t job a few months before we had our first daughter and that was almost 13 yrs ago & he is still working there. We ran into the same thing w/not really coming home with anything once the sitter is paid if I were to return to work. But we also had to take into consideration that many employers these days are not very understanding when it comes to you having to stay home w/a sick baby, or later on the school snow delays, school vacations, etc. Our oldest is now 12 & my husband has gone from making about $8/hr to over $25/hr there b/c of his increases. I plan on going back to work p/t this Sept because our youngest will be going into 1st grade, so I don't have to worry about being home until they get out of school. As far as transportation being an issue, have you ever thought of babysitting maybe one child at someone else's home? I did that with my oldest - the woman I babysat for didn't have any problem at all with me doing this. Maybe check around locally to see if there's anyone looking for child-care. You won't get rich doing it, but it'll at least be some extra money & it basically works around your schedule. Good luck!

If you think getting out of the house/ away from your baby is the main reason for working, maybe it would be worth it to pay the child care costs and just take the $50 you earn, then your fiance will still be rested. I think his fears are reasonable, but exaggerated. Some men just don't know what to do with a baby. Maybe you could try it out for a few weeks/shifts and see how he responds. I highly recommend a moms group- you just may meet someone in/near your neighborhood. Good luck.

have you ever thought about working from home instead? it may help you have that little extra "you" time and an outlet away from the baby for you. It will help you bring in a little extra money. etc.

i work from home, basically for the same reasons (although we were REALLY needing the extra money) and it has really helped in a lot of ways. But like you were saying, i just NEEDED that time for me. even though my pay check isnt huge, i earned it and i really enjoy it. go to http://www.PerfectWorkForMoms.com if you want to check it out at all.

can you work on his days off, or maybe he could just get a very part time job that would be just enough for a car payment and gas to get you out of the house. Does your apartment have a pool you can go to? The sunshine, cool water and vitamin D, might help cheer you up

You have to think about the babies best interest, and sending baby to day care to earn $50 a week is not babies best interest. It sounds to me, like daddy is being very consiencious and reasonable regarding the baby and helps out alot. Baby has a god daddy!

I can understand your hubbies work schedule it is hard to be tired from work and take care of a baby/child but us as mommies we have no choice in the matter.My hubby works crazy hrs from the day I met him 10 yrs later 3 jobs it hasn't changed.I have no choice but to stay home I have been thinking alot lately myself in getting a job & have him pay for child care for our 3 kids while I get something 3 days a week and weekends he can watch all 3.I need some me time and i'm just not getting it.But I doubt it'll happen.
What can you do at home to occupy your time other than always taking care of baby it's hard to do I know I have pictures from 3 yrs that all need to go into an album and several other things to do.If you do go back to work is there a friend or family member that can help out or what does your hubby say about daycare is he willing to pay for it while you get your job back.Being a SAHM is hard work it takes balance that I still have yet to master.

If the childcare costs are almost equal to you paycheck, then obviously going back to work will basically be to get out of the house for awhile. If your hubby is home in the morning, and starts work at 2 p.m. Why can't you do more on your own in the mornings like til lunchtime? Surely he's up by around 9:30 or so. Look into MOPS to get out. I know it seems like a HUGE hurdle just to get a kid out of the house but look around--you can do it like so many others!

Its really going to be hard to find a job that suits your schedule/car situation/your Husbands work schedule & demands and sleep needs.
And having your child in child care will not be cost effective.
And your Husband does need to sleep. Its not humane if he does not be able to sleep with his schedule.. and then having to babysit. Babysitting is not easy... and when she gets older, it will be busier. And for both of you, risking his job security is really not a good idea.

I really don't think having your Husband sleep less is the answer and to then have him babysit and care for your daughter. Even if he does, he is still the main breadwinner... with the main job in your family. Can't screw that up.
Or risk it.
And yes, sleep deprivation and long term, does impair one's safety ability. And with a baby. What if he doses off when he's with the baby?

I really think... its not feasible right now.
Maybe you can do something from home.
Even babysitting another child, to make extra money. But you said you are stir-crazy being home. Thus your want to get out of the house and work.
But, all your paychecks will be used for childcare... and other stuff. Not leaving you much money left over. Meanwhile, your Husband will STILL be the main job holder and breadwinner.
But I think, him having his job and schedule plus having to babysit, is a bit much. He will be like a stay at home working Dad.

YOU could get a night-job. Or another type of job with non-traditional hours.

all the best,
Susan

Hi Christina,

It sounds like you do need some type of support for yourself. The MOPS idea was great - really look around for anything in your neighborhood within walking distance. As for work, a friend I knew worked at a daycare part-time - she helped in the early mornings from like 6-8ish - the busy time when all the parents were dropping off their children. Sometimes in these cases, the daycare would let you bring your own baby - but I don't know if that works with such a young one as you currently have. But it could be an option in the future for you - and provide some opportunities to have some adult conversation, albeit brief. My main hope for you is to find other moms nearby - maybe in your own apartment complex? Could you put up a flyer at the mailbox for a mommy meet up at the playground? It is really hard transitioning to being home with a baby, and the more support you can find the better you will be. I attended a women's Bible study at my church and it was really my only contact with others for years of those early days. It was my lifeline to just get out of the house and be with other people.

Praying for you to find a good support for you in this season - the days can feel so long, but the years really fly and then they are grown and gone. You want to enjoy these days as much as you can - and little breaks and support will help you to enjoy them.

hth,
A.