My mother and step-dad are in the beginning stages of a divorce. My 12 year old "half-brother" Jared is having a hard time adjusting to shared custody and all that comes with it. My husband and I would like to help my step-dad get settled in with him. I am looking for suggestions for Christmas gifts. Things he can do alone or with my step-dad. When my mom and dad divorced I had my 3 brothers to hang out with; Jared is alone. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
Jenn
Unfortunately, 12 year old boys are in the midst of puberty usually and hard to communicate with on a good day. He's gonna think most things are "lame" unless he has a say in it. Might try gift cards for him! Movie cards. I-tunes.
Time for him when he wants it is always nice. :)
Good luck!
S.
I was 19 when my parents split... I have 3 younger siblings that were 12,9, and 3... I can tell you that no matter how old or young you are the dynamics change in the family.
My younger sisters were both mad at the world. The attitudes started popping up all over the place with EVERYONE. There were long periods of time that they refused to speak to our dad or mom.
As one of the older sisters I made sure to be there with them. I took them shopping with me, I took them on my dates with my future hubby (He still teases me that I was the most expensive girl he ever dated... But worth every penny.:-) My sisters all were in "love" with my now hubby) We watched movies together. Picnics, we went to parks, etc...
Is there any way that you can have him spend time with you? He is not alone. He has you guys. Don't try to make him talk about the divorce... But every day stuff. Things that are not wrapped up in emotion. Have him over for dinner and a movie... Take him to the zoo with you. Let him connect with YOUR kids as an uncle would. Take him on trips... (He's an extra pair of eyes and hands to help with supervision and babysitting. :-)
My brother is now 14. He spent many a summer at my house in MI. (he lives in PA)He LOVES my 8, 5 and 2 yr old...
Do not treat him like a child. He is preadolescent. When he is around (If he spends the night lt him stay up later...) Let him have more lee way than you would with your kids.
Do not choose sides in the divorce. No mom/dad bashing. Help him see that YOUR relationship with him will always be as a big sister and YOU will always be there. I bet you that inside he is feeling abandoned. But being a young boy can not or will not verbalise it.
Good luck!!!
I'm not sure of what to get him to have in his new place, but maybe you could make some cards for him to cash in with you when he needs time away...maybe coming for a sleepover or just spending some time with you or your husband, or your little family.And most importantly let him know you are slways there for him to talk to or not, just be there!
Sounds like you are a great half sister, good luck to you and you little brother..
Take Care
B.
There's always a game console like the Wii that have games that can be played alone or with someone.
Something that Jared and your Step-Dad can do is putting together a model. I would take Jared to like Wal-Mart or even a hobby store. Something else that would be fun to do is to have welcome home party the first time he comes to stay the night with you. Have all his favorite food and even watch his favorite movie as a family.
