Ideas for Child with Sensitive Senses

Updated on December 19, 2009
A.V. asks from Duluth, MN
13 answers

Hello, I have heard about children like this before but just this past year I have really noticed how sensitive my child's senses are. She is 3 and 1/2 and is the type who has to have her socks on just the right way, can't wear anything that is too itchy...and so on. My oldest child never had anything like this, nor have I so this is new to me. She also has a very strong sense of smell...to the point where she almost vomits from stronger smells. The texture of some foods are also an issue (squash, cottage cheese, and others). Anyway, I am looking for anyone else who has a child like this who can give me some advice or suggestions. Specifically, are there any socks or tights you have found that are nice and soft? Or a clothes brand in general. This has been our big issue every morning. Thanks in advance!

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So What Happened?

I just really want to thank those who responded without throwing at me a "diagnosis". I think so many people are too quick to jump on the bandwagon of labeling children who have different quirks. With that said, I will keep those suggestions in mind in case I observe anything I find needs to be evaluated. She does not meet the criteria for Sensory Processing Disorder, Autism, or anything on that spectrum. She is a normal, spirited, quirky, funny, smart, goofy, sensitive, loving, verbal, inquisitive, and fun child.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I wouldn't over-react or jump to any "diagnosable" conclusions, but I would take some of the other responder's suggestions about trying different clothing to see what will work, or bringing her along shopping. A person does not need to be ADD/Autistic to be sensitive to touch and smell. I teach on class on Introversion and we introverts are much more likely to be (as I am) sensitive to touch and smell. I still can only wear certain socks, non-itchy sweaters, and shopping for shoes is not much fun :-)

My daughter is also like this and I love clothes from Hannah Andersson, they are expensive but they last forever and were worn many many times. I am happy that Target is now selling similar all cotton leggings and matching tunic/jumpers that my daughter likes. They don't hold up as well but are affordable (and she is now growing so fast). Ankle or lower socks seem better, blue jeans are a big NO, only own one pair of shoes at a time. You can try picking out the outfit the night before, but it still might not "feel right" in the morning, but it's worth a try. I find a style or brand that works and buy several colors or versions of the same.

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D.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

There is a book called " The Sensory-Sensitive Child" by Karen Gouze and Karen Smith. You should be able to find it on Amazon. It addressed behavior problems related to sensory integration and other disorders, but may have a lot of good info in it for you.
This link also (if it works) should have other titles that could help:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_0_14?url=search-alias%3...

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B.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

Morning A..
Welcome to individuality and those with sensory issues.
I have twin girls-- each got a little bit of sensory/ocd/who knows what fussiness.
It is indeed a challenge.
One of them had the same sock issue-- showed up in preschool age 3 with shoes and having to wear socks (she'd prefer bare feet). I finally found the perfect ones at kohls-- they don't have the line at the toes so they don't feel bunchie at the top-- and they stay on and the ankle ones don't slide down and they don't feel too stiff while pulling on- etc.
Really what it took-was me buying a bunch of different kinds until I found ones that worked-- then buying those up and hoping the styles didn't go away (which some did with tears from her) and it goes on and on. She's now 8 and it happens still-- her twin sister puts holes in her good ones and oh my..........and now it's bunchy underwear too.
Believe it or not- she's my mild twin. Just a couple fussy things -- yet they DO matter to her.

So hang in there. My other has the strong smell thing-- so we don't make her sit with us if our food bothers her too much right now-- getting better as she ages. It tries your stamina as you wonder "what the???!!"
I end up laughing at it now-- and that actually makes them feel bad so I wouldn't recommend that-- just so many things over the 8 years I can only chuckle now.

Keep at it- bring her along to "feel" the texture so she can show you what might work-- that helps too. They do actually know- just have patience when she says yes to some that might not work.

Have a very Merry Christmas-- and 2010.

About me: 49 yo perfusionist, wellness coach starting a new online biggest loser for $ starting Jan. 12, wife, mom to super 8 yo twin girls despite their quirks. They put up with mine too.

B. J

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E.B.

answers from Duluth on

Hi--No specific brands for you, but I WOULD urge you to take into consideration her issues when buying. I know some people have just bought and figured the kid will get used to it (my in-laws) and we have lots of clothes that don't feel right that go to waste because he won't wear it! It's a pain to take a kid that young shopping, but it's even more of a pain to not wear any of the clothes in her closet!

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V.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi A., (sorry, looking down I realize now my answer is quite long! I think it matches the stress we've gone through with this issue!!)

Oh the seams, the threads, the tags, the zippers, the belts! Yes, I would have to spend 45 minutes each morning putting on my crying daughter's socks while I was later and later to work. So, yes, I know what you mean! My daughter is now 14 and barely has any signs of it (but still definitely prefers soft clothes. And my son who is now a preschooler could barely be potty-trained because the smell of his own urine coming out made him gag and he would cry each time! How many times did I have to tell him it is rude to meet someone new and say, "What's that smell?" Geeeze!

And let me just insert here: my kids are normal in every other way...don't show signs of autism or any other disorder. Yet, I really took this issue seriously since it can be a symptom of bigger problems, and it is important to address these issues when the kids are young to help their brains and senses develope the best they can. What mom wouldn't to that, right?

Okay, so, how did we get through it? Here's just a few thoughts:

1) Believe and validate. She really IS feeling like her toes are being dragged on jagged pavement by that horrible seam in her socks, even though it seems outlandish to people. I learned this when I tied a bow on the back of my daughter's Christmas dress for a party when she was four. My daughter (very compliantly) sat at a table for about 45 whole minutes. Then with panted breath, she walked slowly over to me and said, "Mama, I have a shark biting me in the back." I got the scissors out and 'snip, snip' off the belt came.

2) Ignore (totally) the advice from those who don't understand that says something like, "Just expose them to it. MAKE her wear the tights and she will get used to them! It's your fault for not doing it when she was really young." Right! If they only heard the screaming, right?

3) Socks! We put the socks on INSIDE OUT. That way the seam was sticking out instead of sticking in touching her toes!! But then there were the very small strings that hang from either side of the seam. So, we cut those as short as possibe without putting a hole in the sock (can you imagine your daughter's toe sticking through a hole and her managing that? Ha, right?) My daugher would sit for 1/2 hour putting the sides of the seam equidistant from each side of her foot before she could put on her shoes. But it gave her something she could SEE. And SHE did it; I was free to continue getting ready or whatever. No more frustrated yelling matches at the door! We also bought the "gold toe" socks (they are just gold across the toes, found them at JCPenney, I think Target has them, too). They are super, super soft (yes, be one of those people who rips open the package to feel them to make sure!) Also, her toes were covered in gold! Kinda psyched her out a bit, ya know?

4) I don't know if you are into this sort of thing or not but... we used thrift stores alot. The clothes there have already been washed several times and so they are softer. What you try on is what you get. No more, "Well, it looks great on you, honey. And don't worry about that itch seam/scratchy tag. By the time we get it home and wash it a couple of times, it will feel great." ... just to have it sit in her closet forever! Much, much easier!

5) Occupational therapists deal with this sort of thing, if you would like to go that route (now or later). The issue often thought of is called "sensory integration dysfunction" and has to do with how your daughter's brain processes sensory information, either too enhanced or too subdued. There are lots of websites one of which is http://www.incrediblehorizons.com/sensory-integration.htm

6) One occupational therapist had some great advice: Take a brush (VERY soft, she recommended a surgeon's brush that is used to scrub their hands...it is much like a vegetable cleaning brush but softer...and you can get them from occupational therapists or hospitals) and gently brush your daughter's skin with it. Believe it or not, my daughter found ours before I had a chance to try it. She immediately picked it up and brushed her arm with it to see what it felt like and said, "Oh, mama! Can I have this?" You could see in her whole body the relaxation and relief. That was the beginning of the end for us. What it does is (from what I understand) sort of resets the body's neural interpretation of touch. It literally changes how the skin feels things. We (or she) used the brush every day. Later, we used it before ballet ("Here honey, let's get your skin ready...") and she was able to wear tights!!

7) We bought one of those tunnels kids can climb through (they look like big caterpillars) and both my kids 'played' with that. The benefit comes from the right/left motion of the body that 'crosses the midline' when crawling; it integrates the left/right sides of the brain in such a way that they are more able to handle external sensory information.

8) If the smell is a problem also, we lit candles in the bathroom for our son to go potty. Worked great.

Okay, sorry so long! Hope this helps...

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would have her evaluated by a pediatric occupational therapist who is familiar with sensory issues. Both of my boys went through OT for sensory issues. There are things they can do to help. The smells and textures of foods can be an issue once she starts school. FYI, it is possible to have sensory issues without other conditions such as autism or ADD. Both of my sons and my brother had sensory issues without the other issues, although they are all "spirited" individuals. Oh--I would try Gymboree for clothes. They have wonderful cotton clothes that hold up well. They are more expensive, but they also last longer and they often have great sales. There was a good one going on just last week. For many years, my boys wore only 100% cotton clothing. There are books out there too--one is "Raising the Sensory Smart Child" and one is "The Out of Sync Child." I found the second one a little too technical and dense, but I think it might also come with some sort or workbook or maybe a second edition. Good luck.

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

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M.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

Sounds as if she should be evaluated for a sensory processing disorder... (Wierd name... Actually I do not like lables at all). ;) It is very common believe it or not... A lot of people are getting more familiar with it as the Autism rates increase. Your daughter sounds as if she has a nice size vocabulary and that she is able to feel, acknowledge and convey her feels so I do not think she is on the autism spectrum (Autism, Aspergers, PDD/NOS, & now they are trying to throw ADD/ADHD under the umbrella). Sensory Intergration Disfunction/Sensory Processing Disorder are very common among the kids on the spectrum but is NOT an indicator of the child being on the spectrum. They are totally independent of each other... Well anyway, to answer your question, I feel you should call Early Childhood Intervention in your school district or if HEalth Insurance allows; have your daughter get an OT (Occupational Therapy) evaluation. They have WONDERFUL programs out there to help these children. From brushing protocols, to textured sensory play, just a host of stuff. It actually works too.... I have seen these kids learn how to tolerate showers, tolerate slime, tolerate all types of stuff.... KNow you are not alone and early intervention is the key... OT for kids is just like a play time for them... They play in beans, play with shaving cream, play with sprinklers, finger paint.... I have seen thes children make 180 degree turns... Wearing turtle necks, wool shirts, even tight "crunchy" jeans with a little OT help... I will share with you what I was once told about these kids... Turn on a radio and have it where it is off station only picking up a word here and there... Well this is what their world is like all the time... They hear all of that static all day long... It is a fine program and your child may have to get use to the weighted jackets/vest & blankets but she soon will grow to love them...
After you get her started on the therapy track.... Read the book "The Out of Sync Child". It is wonderful and you will then understand your baby.... Until then... dress her in what works for her... If sweatpants and sweatshirts are all that work for her... then so be it... Make her comfortable until you get her some help. Walmart has "cozy socks" they are the plush type that are loose and have no form lines... Little more $ but well worth the sock battle... Give up on the tights.. They are uncomfortable for us for goodness sake... Dress her cozy and comfortable until after she has had therapy started for a while. DO not give her anymore battles to face than she is already facing... Know that there is a reason and many of us have been there. Good luck. Let me know if I can help with any other questions. I sure hope this helped.

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B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I'm like that as well I freak if my socks aren't on just right etc... I had ADD as a child and probaly still do as an adult. I always just thought I was weird. I don't really have any advise just thought I'd tell you I think it's probaly more common than we think.

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T.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

You may want to speak with your pediatrician, there may be more going on than just your daughter being sensitive. It may be a sign of some additional things going on such as Asbergers, it is in the autism spectrum but is usually more high functioning. They typically are very intelligent but have issues with sensory and often times with organization and socialization. This is the issue with mys stepson and I am actually getting it checked out with my 3 year old. There are many different sensory disorders out there and it may be something where some therapies that can be done at home can help.

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M.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi A.,

My daughter has many of these issues as well. We used to fight every moring over what pants to wear, what socks to wear - but the shirts don't seem to bug her that much as long as they aren't tight at the neck or itchy - or long sleeved. I found that she prefers the ankle socks over the full ones. She will not wear a pair of pants if they are too long - even just a little bit - so I have had to let her wear pants that might not look like they fit - but they are the most comfortable for her. We have 20 pairs of jeans just sitting in her drawer - she tends to wear the same two of three pairs of cotton pants every day. I had to let it go and stop worrying about it so much. The tights that are the thicker ones work much better than the thin tights for us - they are a little more expensive - but they will get worn more - plus they usually have really fun designs on them. The summer is awesome because skirts and dresses are all she wears - no fighting : ) I am not sure if you would be willing to try this - but sometimes hand me down clothes are great because they are already kind of worn in and plus you aren't spending tons of money on things she won't wear.

As far as the food goes - I can empathize with you. We have actually had her get sick right at the table because of a smell, texture, taste or whatever. She will get sick watching someone blow their nose - LOL. We make her try everything and always try to make at least one thing that we KNOW she will eat. I can tell when she is just being picky and when she truely is not able to eat something because of texture or taste. So that has been the trick for us.

Good Luck - it can try your patience as a parent sometimes - but you are not alone. Also - if you are worried about it being a sensory issue or whatever - talk to your pediatrician...but my guess is that she just have very sensitive senses - like you have said.

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L.A.

answers from Reno on

Ok I'd recommend you keep a close eye on this. It's entirely possible your daughter has ADD. One of the behavioral clues early on is this sensitivity. I have ADD and gave my mom fits trying to dress me because I hated everything even a bit rough, itchy, or tight.
As for tights try Danskin. They are soft and have no inside seam so they aren't as annoying. Carter's just for kids brand is also nice and comfy. Try to look for things that are tagless, 100% cotton, seamless where possible and slightly loose fitting.
As for the food, that may just be hit or miss, but keep trying new things and coming back to things she rejected as she may change her mind

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son has struggled with the things you mentioned. Through an evaluation by an occupational therapist (and subsequent occupational therapy) for some sensory processing "issues" he is SOOOOO much better. For a little better understanding of what I'm talking about you may want to check out http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/ and http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-proces.... I'm not saying your daughter has this, but I certainly see parallels between what you described and what my son used to complain of. Good luck to you.

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