Ideas on How to Introduce 2.5 Year Old to New Baby in Hospital?

Updated on November 25, 2008
A.B. asks from Stockton, CA
7 answers

Hi all you mums out there. This thought just occurred to me today and I thought I'd ask here because you all come up with great ideas.

I'm due to have my second child, a girl, at the end of February. I have a 2 year old son who will be 2.5 by the time his sister is born.

At present I have not tried to discuss the idea of a sibling with him as I don't think he understands. His Chinese family talks to him about it all the time and I don't know what they tell him or what he thinks. I have decided to introduce the concept as "sister" and not "baby" (as they have been doing). Also, my boyfriend and I have never been away from him overnight. This will probably be the first time, though I'm not too worried about that as he's comfortable staying with his grandparents.

Background aside, here is my issue. I want him to be happy about the baby, but not sure how to introduce it and I don't want him to be scared in the hospital because I was gone overnight and suddenly I'm in a strange place lying in a bed with a new strange baby. My ideas were to have balloons (because he adores them and I like them, too :-) to have a big brother gift for him to open there so he doesn't feel left out from all the attention on the baby, and maybe to have a little birthday cupcake or something yummy and nearly forbidden for him to eat. Also, keep it short and sweet. Having the baby home will have its own challenges, I'm sure, but right now I'm focusing on the initial introduction.

I'd appreciate any ideas you can provide! Thanks!

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R.V.

answers from San Francisco on

The only time my husband stayed at the hospital with me was with our first. The next 3 babies he stayed home at night with the others so they woudn't have to be stressed by us both being gone. I understand this only works if the birth timing is right. On the times that we had an under 3 year old coming to the hospital I made sure the baby was in the bassentt (sp) when they came in and the baby would have a little gift with it for the toddler. And my Toddler had a gift for baby. With my most recent baby I and my then 2 1/2 picked out a pink bear months in advance that she cuddled and filled with lots of love before the baby was born. That's what she then gave at the hospital for a gift. We used the bear to talk about her baby sister coming soon. Read books but nothing but positve. I always edit out any talk of jealousy or anything negitive. Cross that bridge if it comes up. It never has with my children. congratulations

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A.C.

answers from Sacramento on

Gifts are always a nice idea. I had a gift from the baby to big sister and one from mommy and daddy to big sister. Before the delivery I took her to pick out a special gift for her to give the baby. We wrapped it up and everything and then she got to be the one to unwrap it for the baby.

She stayed with my in-laws while my husband and I were at the hospital with the baby. We made sure that when the in-laws brought her to meet the baby, my husband went out to the lobby and got her so she could come in by herself and meet the baby first and we could spend a little time as a family. Then the in-laws came in and made a big fuss over the baby AND how she was a big sister now. It all went very smoothly.

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D.P.

answers from Fresno on

My kids are now 3,5,&7. We always talked to our children about their sibling in my belly, we never knew the sexes. A few months before I would also teach them to "wait their turn". For several things, a drink of water, snack, so they learn that they have to wait. Yes the world will not revolve around them, ever. We always had the changing table set up early to practice, changing the baby (a doll) and my other child would have to "wait their turn". A time will come where they can stand on a stool and gently rub babys head and sing while mom changes diapers.

Feeding time always included kids, nursing/bottle have your son look at a book with you. Hold him with your other arm. Always include your son when possible.

Now for big brother stuff. Cool idea, the gift we did the same. We also placed a current picture of the sibling inside the bassinet at the hospital. So when they visited, you can let him know he is watching over the new baby, hes the Big Brother. When people would visit the house after we came home from the hospital. We would place on the front door a sign, "Please say hello to our older children first, and include them in the visit" This way they don't feel as the baby gets all the attention and feel left out. You don't want this. If people forget, remind them! Oh and if you don't want visitors, keep your housecoat by the front door and open it as if your asleep, can they call later.

Give an overnighter with the caregiver. Have the caregiver spend as much time with him at his home and offer to have them stay at his home while your in the hospital, this is much easier for the child. My husband stayed at the hospital with our 3 kids to help me. My parents would stay at our house or theirs, kids were fine at both. Best of luck.

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K.V.

answers from San Francisco on

You've gotten some great tips already! I just want to add one that seemed to help my daughter, who was just under 2 1/2 when my son was born. A couple weeks before my due date, I took Kenzi to the hospital to drop off my pre-registration form. I talked to her about how "this is where mommy and daddy will come when Baby Kevey is ready to come out of my tummy, and Nana will come have a sleepover with you and bring you here to meet him." We even talked about little details ("Here's the elevator you and Nana will ride! Can you push the button?") and we looked at the newborns in the nursery so she'd know what he would look like. They let us look inside one of the unoccupied rooms, and I told her that mommy will stay in a bedroom just like this and sleep in one of these beds, and Nana will bring you here and you can cuddle on the bed with me and Kevey, etc.

You can't totally prepare your child for having a new sibling, (Kenzi did cry when she saw Keves for the first time)but you can lessen the anxiety about the actual hospital setting. I really think it helped for her to be familiar with the hospital and the rooms and to be prepared for what a newborn would look (and sound!) like. After the initial cry she was really fascinated with him. Good luck! It's definitely work but it's so fun watching my kids interact and I can't imagine life with just one anymore!

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T.B.

answers from Sacramento on

My son was 29 months when my daughter was born. We have no family here so he had to stay at a very close friend's house overnight when she was born. He had a very rough night (as did our friend) since he had never stayed a single night away from us before. We even very seldom went out and had someone else put him to bed. If he has never spent the night away, you may want to do a couple of trial runs before the night in question. Also, we had a gift from baby for him. He was very angry at both me and my husband for leaving him overnight, and wouldn't even look at me for several hours once getting to the hospital. So be prepared for this, it broke my heart, especially in my major hormonal state. We just let him be once he got to the hospital until he expressed an interest in his sister. We didn't push anything on him and let him warm up to her on his own. He eventually became curious as to what this little bundle of blankets was and wanted to hold her etc. He ended up staying the whole day at the hospital and we tried to make a big deal about him being the big brother etc. The staff was really good at doing this too, which was nice. After bringing baby home he did ask us to take her back several times, but it has been 2.5 years and now they are so close and he is very protective of her, so that is good. I won't lie to you though, that first year was very tough, there was a lot of jealousy and lots of patience needed to get through it. Just try to make him feel as included as possible and you will get through it.

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M.K.

answers from Chico on

Mercer Mayer's book "The New Baby" was a favorite of ours in the 6 months before my second was born. We talked about the baby a lot, and took my son with us to the OB appointments so he could hear the baby's heartbeat and everything. WHen he came to the hospital, I was holding the baby and he was fine with it and really wanted to touch the baby. I have read that it is good to have the baby in the bassinet so that it is less threatening for the sibling: they see Mommy not Mommy with a replacement (though it wasn't a problem for us). My son was 2 years and 4 months when my daughter was born. I didn't understand what you meant by "his Chinese family"... but maybe if you find out what they are saying, you can reinforce the same ideas in your own words.

C.C.

answers from Fresno on

Hi A.,
I think you're on the right track. My older daughter was 2 years, 9 months when her baby sister was born. You are right that even if he understands the idea of a baby, he does not really understand what it means to have a sister yet. It will not be real to him until he meets his new sister.

What we did was to have my daughter stay with Grandma and Grandpa for a week before my due date (we lived about 3 hours from them at the time, with no family near us, so we wanted her to be in a safe place when the time came for us to go to the hospital). Anyhow, during that week, Grandma and Grandpa took her to the zoo, to the park, all kinds of fun places and made that week all about her. When I went into labor, they all drove up to the hospital. When they arrived, we had a baby doll as a gift to my older daughter, and my parents had taken her to buy a gift for the baby (she chose a little plush Piglet doll). So the new sisters exchanged gifts, and my older daughter was SO thrilled to meet the new baby. She smiled from ear to ear all day!

Of course, about a week later, she came to me and said, "Well, it's been nice having the baby around, but I'm ready for her to go back to the hospital now!" And then I was left to explain that the baby was going to stay with us... forever... and she was a little bummed by that. But now that they're 3 and 6, they are BEST friends and get along great most of the time.

Congratulations on your baby to be!!

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