Y.W.
I raised 5 children and with all of them I found the simple rule of No trades, etc without mom or dad's approval, worked very well. It alleviates the many problems that could arise as they are learning the the value of money.
Hello ladies,
So, the situation is this. I just found out via my sons school teacher that he has been bringing money to school in order to purchase silly toys like plastic bugs from another student in his class. (He by all means is not taking the money from my husbands wallet or my purse, but from his piggy bank)
How do I explain to my son, that you don't buy toys on the playground. (nor do I think they should be "trading" in that case either)
Of course for privacy purposes the teacher is not disclosing the student whom my son is buying things from....but the teacher said she would be talking to his parents as well.
Is there any way to teach a 7 year old street smarts? I'm afraid of the fact that he is so nieve and hes only in 2nd grade.
The other issue I have is that he fully knows what money is, but if someone says you have to pay be a dollar bill....he gives them any kind of "bill" that he has. Whether that is a $1 or $5 bill.
I'm honestly not suprised to hear that he is doing this, as I fear that even when he is older, is going to be more suseptable to scams. If he could he'd call every 800 number on t.v. and buy every amazing product thats advertised even now. Can you teach street smarts to a 7 year old? If so can anyone advise me on how to do it or even where to start?
Thanks for your help ladies.
Thanks everyone for your advice. For the record my son knows how to count money. The kid told him he wanted a "bill" my son was'nt sure what kind of "bill" he wanted so he brought everything he had. (which of course I found after posting for advice)
My son and I had a talk about money. How things should'nt be traded, or purchased without one of his parents knowing about it. We also went to Targets "$1 spot" to see what stores actually sell for $1. Afterwards he realized that the 20 cent plastic bug he was buying was not such a good deal. We also learned what a "good deal" is too, by browsing the clearance section in which he did use his money to purchase a toy he had wanted for Christmas which was now clearanced at $6. (originally $25)In the end my son learned a lesson, got his money back from the other student and the student got his toy bug back. Thanks again everyone
I raised 5 children and with all of them I found the simple rule of No trades, etc without mom or dad's approval, worked very well. It alleviates the many problems that could arise as they are learning the the value of money.
LOL, I gave my son 5 dollars from the Tooth fairy when he was 7 (wow, that’s a ton of money) but he badly wanted a cretin toy so I helped him out a bit, next thing I know, he comes home from school with 5 dollars in bouncy balls, Yep, at.25 cents a piece, that’s 20 bouncy balls. But he so badly regretted it later when we went to the store and realized he had the money to purchase his toy but blew it on bouncy balls.
I wouldn’t worry to much right now about your son not being street smart, that comes with time and mistakes, which it sounds like he's making. I think the key is let him feel the consequences of those mistakes.
I have an ADHD son, here is what I do, I have an allowance plan with my son where I give him 7 dollars a week (It was less when he was younger) along with an invoice that says "Save 2 dollars and keep the rest".
He does NOT earn the money, he just gets it no matter what. Why?for 1. Because I don’t get paid to do my chores, I don’t want him to think he has too, ~BUT~ I can pay him to do my chores, AND he can (and has to) pay me or someone else (his choice unless he doesn’t choose, then I choose for him, which is me and I charge a lot).
BUT
He also has to manage his financial life,
Kids cost money,
I just give the money to him to manage instead of me.
He buys skating tickets, movie tickets, pays for items he looses or breaks, food if he chooses not to eat what we're having for dinner, school clothes, dental bills due to his lack of dental care, the baby sitter when he's being rotten and not fun to hang around so I leave him home, etc. And I either bill him or put it on the invoice that says “Less charges: 4.00 for Cleaning bathroom”
Having him manage his own money also saves me money because then I'm not unconsciously overspending on him. It’s smart for me too.
AND I don’t mind doing his chores because I’m being compensated for it, no more fighting, I just say “No problem, I’ve got it handled”. Which is a bummer because now he just run’s and gets his chores done, I make no money off him :(
And I promise you, this technique has taught my son to appreciate his stuff more, to make wiser choices, and to take better care of his and our things and be more responsible with many areas of his life..
He recently put a hole in the wall with a chair, he has to pay to have that repaired.
No need for mom and dad to get mad or tell him what he should have learned, or tell him how he’s put us out and give him that guilt. We just say “No problem, the bill is - - - .”
IMO, parents tell there kids "If you do your chores, I'll give you $$"
I believe that kids dont miss what they never had, and mom and dad will most likely still buy them that ice-cream at the store, or that movie ticket, so why do the work.
Also
Would you make your child do chores for there Pencils, notebooks and school clothes? Why make them do chores to learn how to manage money.
Once my son has the money in his hand, then its real, and he doesn’t want to loose it, so he makes better decisions so he can keep it.
Everyone has there way, this is just my way. I'm a love and logic mom and got the Idea from the Love and Logic books.
I think if your son has the opportunity to have money in hand, and to feel the pain of not doing something fun with the family because he's broke due to his careless spending, that might help him learning better money management skills.
Good luck
i don't know if this will help or not...but what we have done with our 5 year old is to let him save his money for something that he really wants. he saved all his change for almost two years and bought himself a blow up boxing ring. he is so proud that HE paid for it. we paid the shipping. right now he is saving money so when we go to floida next month he can buy the biggest lego set he can find. he knows that in the end it's his own reward that he has worked for. hope this helps and good luck!!
try the " you help him" approch. Tell your son that this child is getting himself into trouble by selling this stuff. and if he likes this kid, he only will be helping him get the kid into more trouble by buying toys from him. Be a friend, do not help him get into more trouble by supporting his selling toys. If this does not work, then tell him every time he buys a toy from this kid, you will take away $$ from your son. Technically, it is your money that your son has been given that is in his piggybank. So, therefor you do not want it to go to this activity.
We have practiced different scenarios as a family. For instance, we will have an uncle be the "stranger" who asks one of our kids to go with him. He will tell them that he has candy, pets, etc. and they practice their response. Maybe you could practice something with kids asking for money or toys.
Also, we got rid of cash for our kids. It ended up lost or spent on stupid stuff. I made them little pretend check books and they keep track of their allowance in their check register. When they want to buy something, they write out a check to wherever we are buying it (Walmart, Toys R Us, etc.) and hand it to me. I then pay the cashier for the item with real money. It has saved a lot of lost quarters!
Hope this helps. Good luck.
L.
I hear what you are saying, but what your son did really isn't a big deal, it is actually quite normal, my 6 year old trades toys with kids at school and sometimes he gets the bad end of the deal in my opinion, but he is happy with it so I let it go, we do how ever talk about the fact that he should never take anything from an adult who is offering him anything no matter how badly he wants it, that he needs to run and find another adult he can trust, teacher if in school, or more recently my 3 year old got seprerated from us in the store actually I though she was with my 15 year old...turns out she wasn't, I was freaked, luckly someone in best buy noticed and brought her up front, but what I explained to her and my son was that in a store should something like this happen again that she needs to find someone who works there, I know point out thier "uniforms", preferably female and let them know what has happened so that they can find mommy, and if all else fails and you don't know what to do start screaming at the top of your lungs help. These are bigger dangers then children trading toys on the playground. Work with him on the money, he should be old enough to read the 5 on a bill or the 10, do some roll playing, explain how important money is and that it should only be spent on things that are really important, i teach this to my kids by giving them 5 dollars, and letting them spend it, we talk about what they can afford and what they can't how they can save to get it, or they can spend it on something smaller that fits thier budget. It halps them get a good grasp on the concept of money. He guliableness towards things on t.v is so very normal my kids do it all the time but my older ones are know old enough that they know better it just comes in time.
Number 1...I think you need to teach him how to count money. He's old enough to know what each piece is. My four year old already knows most of the coins. Not how to count but atleast knows if I ask for a penny or a quarter. He should be old enough to know when you ask for a dollar bill or a five dollar bill. Number 2...He's not too young to start teaching the value of things. When you go shopping show him what some of his things cost. This book costs this much, this toy costs this much, this juice costs this much, etc. Otherwise he has no idea that giving this other kid five dollars for a little bouncy ball is outrageous.
My nine year old had the same problem. Not with money but with trading pokemon cards. The school finally banned all pokemon items, except back packs. I don't know. I would tell him he can't take money to school. Make sure he doesn't have any in his pockets at all. Unfortunately, you have to be the money police and not let him take money to school. Also, I remember reading a book on how to teach your kids how to be street smart. I bet your library will have it. I can't remember the name. But it will help. It gives hints about what to do with bullies and strangers and all kinds of things. Good luck!!!
Dear S.,
this is a complex task of teaching to evaluate what is offered, and to see the worth of money as an ultimate option of getting the best out of what he has.
At this age, they are not much capable of such evaluation.
Ads. Good he does not ask YOU to buy anything from commercials, but is only ready to empty his own piggy bank. One mom stopped these desires of her daughter by saying: "one pronounced wish from commercials, and you are not watching TV on the weekend." it worked, although the desires were definitely haunting the girl quietly in her brain, but she learned to work with her emotions, and restrain herself consciously. It is almost impossible at this age to explain to them and expect serious understanding of the value of money. Yet, every attempt to do so is like a drop into the same jar which will eventually be filled and hopefully will bring the results of 'eureka', when he will finally get it!
You can discuss what he might be saving money in the piggybank for. Set up together some further goal, for something reasonable that he really likes and what is useful. Then, hopefully, every time when he goes to get money for a little unnecessary thing, he delays the desired achievement of collecting a certain amount for that great cool bigger stuff.
One really good idea is to put a sheet of paper under the piggy, so that the nice caring piggy will keep his ACCOUNT also, where he will write down his income (when, how much -may add: from where), and on the other side of the page: outcome, the same way: when, for what, how much). I would not insist on parents having to control his every action, this would stress him probably, as after all, this is his OWN money and he learns to rule his own life (right time to start learning how to be responsible!) Yet, if he presents his account page to caring parents say, once a week on Fridays, then maybe he might get a bonus dollar, as a 'present' for good caring for his property (money). This is not straightforward "into the face" control, yet you will be able to have a strict control over the situation.
In case if such set will start working, you can also suggest him to come and DISCUSS his desire to purchase something, if he feels like he needs it real bad, but suspects you will consider it not a reasonable thing. In such discussions, you may count the money he wants to spend, and give him alternatives to what other things he could get for the same amount, or wait a little, gain more and get something waaaaay cooler.
As the other 'businessman'-boy's family in school will be addressed, there is a chance for awhile you will have a break. Time to think about future coming similar situations.
You are so right to talk to people (us), and it would be good to converse with the school counselor, as they have tons of experience with any kinds of situations, including this one.
Good luck to You, dear parents, and big hopes for Your Dear Buyer to get things right :).
GooDay, S.!
M.
Honestly, I think that these kinds of experiences are exactly what makes a child street smart. Let him learn by experience and through small disappointments. That said, when it comes to teaching "street smarts" about a variety of different issues, I highly recommend Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) by Gavin de Becker.