I'm a Nerd. I Need Smart Friends.

I fully understand what you are saying. What about taking some sort of college class that involves a lot of discussion and mental stimulation?

I hear ya. I have an IQ in the near genius range and I love to watch shows on History--Bio--Discovery--and Nat. Geographic channels. I love to read and I remember most of what I hear, see and read. I enjoy Egyptolgy, Archeology, and stuff like that. Most of the people I run into want to talk football (I live in WI--the Packers are almost a religion here), or 'reality TV', and other inane stuff. I agree a book club might be a fun group to try, unless they want to read romance. I would also look into joining a museum board or volunteer group. Volunteer at the library or as many have said go back to school.

Some of our friends started something like a book club...we call it the State Of The World Discussion Group. We have various scientists, an economist, a military person, a sociologist and various other folks with different backgrounds. Our friend who first started it is a crab scientist with USGS and he had always wanted to learn about Peak Oil. So we read 3 of the top papers about peak oil and discussed it. At the end of the time we then all ate dinner and decided on the next topic...we've covered all kinds of interesting topics that are all over the place and we all really enjoy discussing things (or listening - not everyone wants to talk) and learning about something new. The kids all run around and end up going to bed too late that night. We do this once a month. You can start something like this - it's very fun. Our friend who started it kind of hand picked who he wanted to come over bc he wanted to get a really good discussion going. But over time other people have joined and each person brings a different point of view.

As a non-nerd I am totally offended by your post. I personally like it when my extremely smart friends introduce me to new words that are beyond my 'normal' intellect...

LOL - just kidding!

A book club is a great idea - I love the one I'm part of and it's a different group of ladies than my core friendship group - which is nice on several different levels.

Join Mensa. There's likely a local group in your area that will have social gatherings once a month or so.

Hi L.=

Take a class in an area of interest at your local college/university...

You will find fellow 'intellects'...or 'nerds'...lol

Or BOTH...depending on the course!

Best Luck!
michele/cat

k

Have you always felt like this? I guess I'm wondering if there are pre-mom friends that you can reconnect with? Former classmates or co-workers? Does your husband have any friends whose wives or girlfriends can provide you with some non-mom related friendship?

Otherwise, I totally agree with the recommendations to find a class or book club to join.

All that aside, as someone who is considered pretty smart, I have to say my experience has been that finding an intellectual peer is kind of overrated. I understand when you say that you feel unfulfilled in that area of your life, but I think that finding someone with whom you click is more important that focusing on whether that person is as intelligent as you. There are so many ways that someone can be smart. My closest friends have been people who are "socially smart," meaning they are friendly, kind, and giving. I may need to define a word or two for them, but they have taught me just as much about what it means to be a good friend, mom, and person.

Perhaps you could start a nerdy mommy group??

you must be VERY smart to have written this and managed not to offend anyone, lol. i have been trying to write things without offending people (often regarding much less touchy subjects) for years and yet i still manage to....hehe. nice job. i don't consider myself "super smart", but more borderline...i did go to college (not ivy league or anything, but in my social circle that's "freaky" enough) and i loved it, but then i "ran away from home" (at 21) and married for love, not money or education, and well...i love my life. but i definitely notice that it does not particularly stimulate me.

what really gets me going is a challenge. i remember the first time i really challenged myself mentally after leaving college, and it was like a lightbulb came on. it was amazing. i found i really LOVE learning new things, and it had been years since i had. my suggestiong is to take a college class just for fun. physics or basket weaving (haha), whatever floats your boat. submerse yourself in a learning environment that challenges you. it really wakes you up. you will be around "intellecuals", and who knows, maybe even meet some new friends. good luck!

I LOVE the honesty of your question! I have often thought this to myself, but I have been lucky to meet another mom (thru my son's pre-school) who is a licensed Social Studies teacher, like myself. FINALLY I have someone who I can relate to on a level other than talking about our hubbys, cloth diapers, cleaning methods, etc. YES to book clubs! If you can't find one that you like, perhaps look into starting a Meetup.com group of your own. (Maybe something like Nerd Moms of Arlington?)

I remember one day I was training a lady at my work and I used the word "exacerbate." She grabbed my arm and said, "ok, I can't take it anymore! I don't understand your big words!" Wow! I don't think of that as a reflection of my intelligence, however, but a sad commentary on the state of our educational system.

A book club is a great idea! I know our library is always advertising them! I have my geek girls for geek craft night once a week and the occasional geek mom playdate, but I found them by accident through an old co-worker's mommy group.

I am sure that this has been suggested, but I would maybe try a night course in a subject that interests you. That way you get to choose the topics of your conversations.
My best friend makes fun of me when I use big words too, she is far from unintelligent. Maybe, with some of your friends you need to dig a little deeper than ordinary conversations. Instead of starting off with, "Guess what the kids did today!" You can start with, 'What inspires you, what passions do you have? I am thinking of going to a night class, if you were to go what classes would you take?" They may shock the hell out of you. I know that in my conversations with some of my friends, I won't talk about things that I know they have no interest in, maybe some of your friends are closet intellectuals too.

Smart like how? You have the whole table of elements memorized? You read math books for fun? You can pinpoint each person's neurosis by analyzing their handwriting? You can estimate which way the earth will shift on its axis toward the sun by the way the wind is blowing?

Or, are you just interested in other things other than anything kid related? Disinterest in kid related things doesn't make anyone smarter than the next. Not saying this is you or anything.

Try a club on a nearby college campus, like a mechanical design club, or attend some lectures/symposiums. Our Sunday paper always has a list of people speaking at the different colleges and venues on any given topic.

I would also reccomend a book club. Also keep trying different SAHM groups.

Look into a book club.

I am surprised you can be a M. and your brain still functions. Most moms are supposed to lose a brain cell with each child. Just kidding, but I know where you are coming from.

I would suggest searching for expos and exhibits in your area of smartness and join those groups. I doubt you might find many moms in the group who can relate. Most would probably be single, but good luck

You could join a fellow club that is more to your liking. Join meetup.com and join a literary or travel group or something. My mom's group is vastly different than me, I am a decorator/fashion blogger, so I go to playgroup dressed nicely and they are in tshirts and sweat pants. I don't care, but it is weird when they ask, "Why are so dressed up?" I also like to talk about more interesting and deeper subjects, but that doesn't usually happen when most moms are talking about pregnancy, going to the pool... (which I still like a good pooping baby story as well from time to time).

I love how you asked this question! I know how you feel! I am working on my dissertation for a PhD in Psychology, my previous degrees are in Computer Science, and I also read a lot of research-based books and articles about science/technology/medicine/law/child development/ etc.

I have learned to watch my friends' expression to tell me when to stop talking about "this study" or "that new research"! I have great friends, and they are pretty smart, but I too miss the ability to really get deep into a subject that interests me.

I don't have any new suggestions, but am enjoying reading everyone's ideas!

I met my smart friends in college. I met them in the clubs I joined and the classes I chose. I don't think it comes down to intelligence, so much as areas of interest. I studied political science and find discussing politics invigorating, as ridiculous as things are in our political climate right now. But that wouldn't interest you at all, so, I may be smart, but wouldn't be your friend. My advice is to identitfy specific things you have an interest in and pursue them with passion. Friends will be a natural byproduct. For instance, there is an astronomy club in Fort Worth that meets at the observatory once a month for a star gazing party. If you don't want to take classes for credit, you can usually audit a class at TCU or UTA for less than the price of tuition. There's a saying..."Do You" Then you will meet people just like you.

Let me tell you what, I've always believed myself to be of average intelligence. I've always been TOLD that I'm above-average (parents, friends, teachers, professors, whatever). To me there's nothing special about the way I think, it's just quicker than most & with a better vocabulary, haha.

Several years ago my family & I moved to a different state to make buying a house a reality. I had no idea when we got here that I was going to almost immediately feel like the smartest person in the whole freaking state. Seriously. Some of it is to do with just a different lifestyle, but much more is just different schooling & probably just who I am. I definitely am not the kind of person who toots their own horn, I'm pretty much the opposite, but when you spend years feeling like you really can't connect with any of the locals it can start to get you down.

Over the past couple of years I've met a lot of people at my job (I'm a civilian DoD employee at an Air Force base) from all over the world & I've found several friends here who 'get me'. The sad part is that none of them will stay for long as they're in the military, but I get the advantage of knowing when one person leaves another will come in to take their place & I'm perfectly capable of keeping in touch via email, Skype, or whatever else.

I guess my point is to just keep your head up. You'll find people you connect with either through a 'smart mommy group' or maybe a book club or college course like a lot of the other mamas have mentioned already, or maybe just by chance at the grocery store. I think finding good, true friends is like finding your soul mate. Just because you're looking everywhere for them doesn't mean they'll magically appear right that second, it's more when you give up on the chance that you'll ever find them that they drop right into your lap! ;)