Mom,
Your son is reacting, which means he wants attention.
question is Why.
well your profile says both you and your husband work full time, and in addition you recently had a new baby which mean less attention for him.
Work is essential I understand.
BUT he has his needs aswell.
My oldest son has ADHD, he is now 12 years old,
I also have a 2.5 year old and a 4 year old
All 3 are boys.
First -- today make time for your son, without his sister present. take him out eat together, and play together.
then talk, explain first his importance to you, his place in the family and how proud you are of him, then tell him your expectations , whats acceptable and what is not acceptable
1. He is old enough to clean up his own room now.this is his new responsibility, ask him if he thinks he can do it? then whatever his response say I know you can do it, I am counting on you. and I know you won't let me down.
2. everyday immediately after school he is to complete his homework.
3. following homework he has 3 jobs
clean up his room,take out the garbage,
and feed the dog/cat/fish
( if you have no pets get him a fish)
Establishing these simple rules and responsibilities will work wonders ,you will have to remind him so just get used to it, but what your doing is creating a way for him to feel sucessful, and creating an opportunity to praise him for a job well done.
WE DO NOT GET PAID FOR THESE JOBS.
NExt he needs to be enrolled in an activity to help him burn off his added energy,
Sports are the best medicine , it teaches them time management, team work, sharing, patience, how to follow the rules, and many more.
In addition you need to monitor his foods, NO SODA, very little sugars. and NOTHING with preservatives
such as lunchables, HI-C Juice boxes, capri suns, no caffiene, no cookies that are particularly sugary and not in excess. NO candy and NO CHIPS, doritos ect NOthing with red dyes blue dye, green dye and No gatorade, power ades ect...
As soon as you midify his diet you will notice a considerable change in his behavior, he will have alot less agression.
When you need to punish him, he goes to bed with NO TV, tell him he can read a book.
When he is being punished, you may initially have to carry him to his room 10 times before he gives in.
you will be tempted to give up, but this is not an option.
there is ONE WARNING, ( eg. YOU DO NOT HIT, HITTING HURTS,
YOU DO NOT SCREAM/YELL YELLING HURTS FEELLINGS.
YOU DO NOT THROW THINGS in the house, THIS IS only allowed when playing BAseball, or catch OUTSIDE.
YOU MAY NOT push, this is hurtful and not appropriate,
NOW pay attention if your child is throwing because he is playing, you need to stop what you are doing and show him what he can DO, such as roll the ball, play bowling, ect.
he can roll cars, build with blocks ect.
IF you child is PUSHING, ask him WHY first. and show him what he could be doing instead.
IF they are fighting over a toy, NO ONE GETS THE TOY
IF HE HITS out of jealousy, or anger-- he goes immediately to bed, NOW
after he stops crying and carrying on, you explain that you are very disappointed in his behavior, and will not tolerate this, if he can not learn to control his hands you will be very angry and the punishment will be more severe
then remove his videogames, or TV from the room,
IF your Child is fighting in class, he needs to have his seat changed and moved. Have him sit in the front of the class.
and take him to the EYE DOCTOR To have his Eyes and ears checked ( the pedatrician is not acceptable)
My son has glasses however his vision is 20/20
When he comes home after the fight ask him why he was fighting and talk to him about it, calmly, then decide on the punishment together.
NO threatening, and you must follow thru.be consistent.
You never want to give your child a punishment which punishes YOU.
And Never say he can't go to his sports activity
this is his outlet, his medicine.
School is his job,
When he takes out the garbage you say thank you, I knew I could count on you, and praise him
Check his homework every night, and don't forget to ask how his day went show him he is important to you.
Cheer for him at his games.or activity, be on his side.
MOm I know your busy, but he needs your attention.
your family needs to be nurtured. so I suggest getting a calendar, and putting events and activites on it for family time. and its best if you do simple things like going for a hike in the woods,the library, apple picking, pumpkin picking. out for ice cream,fishing bake cookies together.ect..
the mall,and grocery store just doesn't cut it.LOL
and last little tip.
When the kids are demanding you attention. its best to give them 15 minutes of attention immediately, and then go back to whatever it is that you were doing. because then you'll have given your self 45 minutes to an hour of free time.
feel free to email me.
good luck
M