I'm at the End of My Rope...

First thing first.... breathe in... breathe out... :) ok... do it again... breathe in.... LOL... and then repeat this mantra -- "This too shall pass"... :) live by this now. :)

I have an 8 year old that was considered a "perfect" child... didn't challenge authority, eats anything and everything, loves vegetables... he used to actually STEAL cucumbers, broccoli and cauliflower from my salad and crunch it at me!

and then comes baby #2... he's my little ball of wonder... will be 3 in July.. and to get him to eat much of anything ... would be easier to get Congress to unanimously pass a bill than to get him to eat anything... EVEN PASTA!

Just say this too shall pass and do what you can! ;)

L.,
First of all you are NOT a failure! :) I talk to lots of parents regarding this. Heres the deal. You are big, and she is little. You have to know that number 1, if she is truely hungry she will eat what you feed her, if she does not eat what you offer, she does not get to eat. I know that sounds mean, BUT she is NOT going to starve. She is old enough, and SMART enough to know that if she holds out long enough, you will give in, and give her what she wants. DONT DO IT. She will eventually give up, and will eat. On the other hand, we have never had a patient turn into a chicken nuggett, from eating to many, despite what their parents thought. This is also an age where they will sometimes grow "funny". At times you may not think that she is eating enough to keep a small bird alive, and others she may eat you out of house, and home. Its very sparatic. Dont worry. Get her a multi-vitamin if it makes you feel better. But other than that try not to worry to much. Feed her the foods that you are eating, and stick to your guns! Hope this helps!!!

M.

This doesn't sound anything at all like celiac disease, and it doesn't sound like she has any tummy issues. Celiac disease would cause a lot of problems. Picky eating is NOT one of them. She is exactly what you said -- a picky eater and a 2 year old. WOW!! She's normal!!! :o) Sorry. . .I just saw all the people diagnosing, and it sounds absolutely completely normal and nothing like stomach problems. If she had stomach problems (like GI problems or GURD) she would show interest in eating but either not eat because she knows she'll get sick or eat a little and throw it up. Celiac is even worse than that and can cause weight fluctuation (maybe not at her young age, though, but it would be that she eats and is very sick after).

My son has become a little picky, and I know it sounds harsh, but if he doesn't eat what's been made for him, then he will eat again for his snack or next meal (whatever is next in the schedule). I've seen what can happen if you give your child only what he/she wants instead of the meal that's prepared, and it makes for a long long road ahead. I promise she won't starve if she decides she doesn't like the meal and has to wait until her snack time. She will eventually be hungry and try the new foods. So far, we've had a positive experience with that on our son. If he's hungry, he eats. If he's not that hungry he won't. We don't force him, and he finally eats at the next meal. The dr said he's growing just as he should, so I feel like we're on the right track.

Everybody is different, though, so what works for us may not work for you. It's just a suggestion. My sister gave in to my niece's picky habits. Now, she's 14 years old and still will only eat chicken strips, mac and cheese or hot dogs (on occasion -- pizza). So my sister has to make a whole separate meal for her because she has always given in. Now, she's a teenager and it's much much more difficult for her to try new foods. I would definitly suggest not giving in to it. I hope you find what works for you.

I didn't mean to sound snobby about the diagnosing. If I did, I apologize, but one of my closest friends has celiac, and another good friend's 19 month old has had GI problems, so it just didn't sound anything like those. Good luck!! :o)

L., it's ok that your daughter will only eat certain things in time she get tired of eating tose things. I know that right now it doesn't like she will ever grow out ofth ose things but believe me she will. When my first child was born around about 18-20 months all he wanted to eat was chix nuggets....I asked his pedi and he said once he's tired of it he'll stop just like your daught er she to will stop. But look at it this way she's getting her vitamins by drinking milk and eating some fruits.If your doctor thought something was wrong he would have told you. As far as other mothers saying those nasty things like there glad there child isn't a picky eater well as least your daughter won't have a mouth full of cavaties......Your doing just fine mom =) I know is easy to tell you to relax and be happy that she wants those things your saying i nstead of candy ,etc but your her mom and you only want the best for her. I can promise it does get better.
Take care

I agree with Mary B. Does your chld have any synptoms like GI issues constipation, allergies, headaches, mucous or anything like that? I work at a Dr's ofiice and we do food allergy testing. we just recently diagnosed a 17 month old with celiac disease. The parents had no idea. Fortnately this will save her many health problems. The Dr.'s name is Jennifer Ridley and her number is ###-###-####.

Some people can be so inconsiderate. Don't pay any attention to what someone like that says. Some children just go through a period where they will only eat certain things, but it doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong. The fact you are concerned shows you are a caring mother. And we tend to notice what others are doing more when we are concerned about that area in our own lives. That may be why you think all the other kids are eating everything and they may be, but they may have a struggle in some other area that your daughter is doing fine in.

As long as your daughter is happy and health then your in great shape. And maybe when you start to relax about the eating issue she will be more relaxed about it and try other things to eat eventually. Children sence when we are worried about things like that and will tend to go the opposite way. At least that is how it always works with my 2-1/2 year old. She has days when she will eat great and other days when she will hardly eat anything. I would get so worried that she was hungry and just didn't like anything, but once I start to go with the flow, it all works out and she starts to eat again.

I was the same way and had to see an endocrinologist.

She recomemded I eat the Carnation bars and Carnation milk shakes to help. Of course I only did it b/c I was told if I didn't I would be put in the hospital and fed through iv's (which was true), I don't think that would work for a 2 year old though, but those did help.

She'll change eventually, and maybe if you allow her to help with meal prep, and choosing foods on her plate by color (like rainbow colors, greens, yellows, reds...) she may get more excited about eating new things.

L.,
I only wish my 2 yr old son would eat the list of foods you mentioned. He does not like to eat at all. Every meal is a challenge, and I never look forward to trying to feed him. All of his peers are using utensils like pros. But he is way behind on utensils b/c when I try to teach him to use utensils, he has no interest in it. And he just has no interest in eating period. So, my message is just to let you know that it could be much worse. I have no advice b/c I cannot barely get my child to eat at all! Just hang in there. She'll figure it out, and it seems like you are offering her all the foods....she'll let you know when she is ready for them.
-A.

Rewards for potty training....stickers. Take a notecard (colored or plain) and put her name (Sara's Potty Report) at the top. Hang it in a special place that she can see. Each time she succeeds in urinating let her pick one kind of sticker to put on the card. If she poops....give her a star. Give her the card and the end of the day and start again the next morning. Believe me....my daycare kids prefer the Potty Reports with stickers over M&Ms or anything else. Give it a try. Maybe she'll like it, too.

Eating and going potty are the two areas that a child has total control over. The more you make an issue of it...the more they will fight you. Less said is best and give lots of praise when she begins to try new foods or has a good potty report. The more you beg, plead, threaten, and punish...the longer it will take and it causes so much stress for both of you.

Also, let her help you prepare things...even to the point of spreading butter, etc, on bread...making pudding...anything...she'll be a little more receptive. Her own little pizza made with an english muffin half, tomato sauce to spread, and cheese to sprinkle on it...then a few seconds in the microwave might even work for a change. But don't make an issue if she baulks on you. Just let it go and try again in a few weeks. You'll be amazed at what a difference six weeks will make. That's the time we wait for introducing something again.

Good luck and God Bless...

http://www.missbrenda.com

My daughter used to eat everything until recently, she turned 2 in March. If I put something infront of her that she doesn't like how it looks she says without even tasting it, i don't like that. So I started telling her well thats all we have to eat so it's this or nothing. And I know she likes this stuff because she used to eat it or has ate it before. It drives me insane too. There are somethings that I won't push on her like mashed potatoes she has tried them and doesn't like them. The only way I have gotten her to eat stuff is by telling her this or nothing, you cannot spend your time cooking two different things they have to get used to eating what everybody else in the family eats. Good luck and don't worry what other moms say, you can't really control what your kid chooses to eat specially if they don't want to eat it. Hopefully it will change.

Are you giving her a multivitamin? Give her half of a Flinstone's so she's getting the iron and vitamins she needs. that plus milk will get her through the day if she won't have anything else.

And I agree with the suggestion of letting her help you cook. I'm amazed at what my daughter will eat when I'm cooking that she won't eat at the table. She really doesn't care for grilled chicken, but if I have shredded chicken I'm about to use in something, she eats a ton of it. Same goes for bell peppers - she ate nearly a whole one a few weeks ago when I was prepping dinner, but she wouldn't touch it at the table once it was cooked. I figure, even if she doesn't eat a ton at the dinner table, if she's eating such healthy foods while we're cooking, it gives her nutrition and gives me the chance to make dinner, so it's a win-win!

Don't worry I'm sure she's fine! Since she likes those certain things, try adding healthier things with them: add peas and meat to the pasta, add rasins & strawberries to the cereal, etc. My 3 year old has never really been picky because I never really gave her a choice & it's the same with my 20 month old. Instead of bringing her special foods to events, just do what every other parent is doing. If your daughter sees every other child eating the food served, she might as well. Also by showing her you are willing to prepare her special foods, she will expect you to do so. It is hard & don't worry about being a failure - because you are not! I agree with the other moms (and although it sounds mean) if she is hungry she will eat what you give her. At every meal, try and eat as a family (or at least the two of you) & give her what you are serving everyone else. It may take a missed meal or two, but I promise she will eat. Also note - my girls start to be picky if they've been at a relatives house & they let them snack all day. So make sure she isn't 'grazing' because if she eats snack foods all day long, she won't ever want to stop long enough to eat a regular meal with a main course & veggies.

If YOU are okay with letting her continue to be picky (because she will probably grow out of it), then don't worry about the other moms! Also, I'm sure the other mom(s) didn't mean anything by the comment, so don't worry about it either.

I would consider having her tested for celiac disease (including the gene test) and a dairy allergy, since the majority of foods she craves contain gluten and or dairy. People will often crave things to which they are allergic and research shows that those two foods have an opiate affect on the brain, so your daughter may be eating only them because of this side affect. I went to another doctor for the testing as our pediatrician also told us that my kids were healthy. Unfortunately, most pediatricians are taught that this disease is rare, but it isn't, per the following:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?cmd=Retrieve&amp...

Also, the clinginess you mention is another symptom (my youngest had huge issues with separation). Here's a good article by a pediatrician discussing this as being one of the very subtle symptoms://www.drgreene.org/body.cfm?id=21&action=detail&ref...

I didn't learn that my kids had this until they were older (8 and almost 11) and I would have saved them lots of grief by changing their diet much, much earlier. I, too, felt that I must have been doing something wrong as my kids also weren't like the others. So, I felt very fortunate when I found out that I had this disease and since it is genetic, I had my kids tested. It wasn't until they went on the GF/CF diet that my kids knew what it felt like to feel well (when you don't feel well all the time, you don't know that how you feel isn't normal).

Note: if the links above don't work, I'll be happy to email them to you.

Be well,
M. B

I agree with most all that has already been said. I will add that I have twin 3 yr old girls and their eating habits were very similar. I too had problems bribing with candy for the potty, as my girls do not care for candy or cookies at all (I'm actually rather proud that they would rather eat cucumbers & tomatoes). So to bribe for potty, I made a "treasure box." I went to USA Toys and bought all kinds of little cheap trinkets; watches, bracelets, animals, finger puppets. Every time they go in the potty, they get to pick a prize from the treasure box - has the same effect as candy but much healthier and frankly more fun. If you find things that you can let your child help you to fix - like use a tortilla and turkey and cheese to make a "turkey pizza," then they are more likely to eat it. I add pediasure to their milk to ensure plenty of vitamins. I constantly look for new things for them to try; some they like, some they do not. Over time we have picked up a few new favorites. I also find little games or challenges will encourage them to eat - makes it fun. And to heck with what other moms say; each child is unique and develops differently in all areas.

My son has always been a picky eater! Since he was a newborn! Can you believe it? He just never really seemed interested in eating much. He gets just enough to satisfy him...which isn't much and then he's done.

It used to really drive me nuts, especially since he was underweight (below the average of his peers) but high average in his height, compared to peers. But since his ped. saw he was always growing taller...it didn't alarm her. He never got dangerously skinny.
But it still worried me. She finally told me once that all I can do is offer him options constantly and he MAY surprise me one time. And he does on occassion try things (he's 3 1/2 yr old now), but rarely does he try something new and he likes it.

For a long time he only ate chicken nuggets. And I try to offer him other things every month or so. Well, one day my mom made a hot dog for him while he was spending the night over there...and she told me he ate the whole thing! And he's loved hot dogs since. He still hates hamburgers and luncheon meat. But I think, in time, he'll grow into those things. Just like he did with hot dogs and pizza.

Ask your ped. if there's a good kids multivitamin to give your child. My ped. told me to give my son a daily kids vitamin and that should help him get most of his nutrition.
But I don't force the issue anymore.....if I do, it sometimes backfires and he throws up the food. So, I don't worry or stress over it anymore. Just offer options....ask her if she wants this or that. And that way, she has some say in her meal...and it might guarantee that she eat all of it or at least some of it.

yeah, i've tried the whole..."this is what the whole family is eating thing...so you eat it or nothing at all." yeah, that didn't work. he didn't care if he ate nothing at all. seriously. food is not a high priority for my son. i usually have to remind him to eat.
i wish i had that problem!
I wouldn't worry about the limited diet your child has now....just keep offering choices. That's all you can do. I don't necessarily believe it's always a "battle of wills," but more of a personality thing. My son is perfectly happy sticking with what he knows tastes good and doesn't feel the need or the risk in trying a new food. I'm like that with some foods, too! :-)
I like to order the same things at certain restaurants I frequent.
-A.

Toddlers are the weirdest most confusing eaters on earth! Don't worry your 2 years old is totally normal and will grow out of it. I had a friend who's 2 year old would just drink pedia-sure and hardly eat any food at all. This went on for like a whole year but she finally eats food like a human being now.

First, as others have mentioned, you are not a failure. It always surprises me when mom's say that. No one's kids are perfect and Lord knows we all have our faults. We have some control over what our kids do and how they act, but they are still little people with their own wills and we cannot control their every choice. All you can do is the best you can and the rest is destiny.

I have a 2 1/2 year old son who's a strange eater I would say. At home, sometimes he'll eat everything we give him, and other times he just plays with his food and won't eat any of it. His babysitter says he eats like crazy for her. So one thing we've done that seems to help with eating at meal times is to avoid giving him milk before or with the meal. I found that he would sit and drink all the milk and then not be hungry for the food. So now when he asks for milk with his meal, we just tell him there is no milk and give him a cup of water. Sometimes he cries and throws a fit. Other times he drinks some water and starts eating. We give him at least 16-24 ounces of milk a day with breakfast and during snack times, but never with meals. I think that was a big issue for him with regards to his hunger, or lack thereof.

In regards to what he eats, we do NOT cater to the kids' tastes except for when we're eating something spicy. Then I usually make them something different that they like like mac & cheese, grilled chicken strips and apple sauce or something like that. Otherwise, I put the same stuff on his plate that I put on mine and he eats what he wants off of it and leaves the rest. I ask him to eat his veggies, and sometimes try to take some off his plate and eat them myself which usually makes him want to eat them. He points his finger at me and says "No Mom! Don't do again!" and then he starts eating them, but sometimes he starts trying to feed all his food to me when I do that so there's no real formula I can use to get him to eat.

I would say just maybe cut back on the milk at meal times and try to pack as much nutrition into the foods she will eat as possible. Like when you feed her pasta, make sure it's whole wheat or whole grain pasta. There is pasta made with vegetables that you can buy as well. Make sure the cereal you are feeding her is made with whole grains and is low on sugar. Make whole wheat pancakes and try to sneak some blueberries or other fruit into the mix. And she already likes bananas. My son would have 4 a day if we'd let him. I think bananas are a great food for toddlers!

Kids at this age are funny eaters usually. It should get better with age though. But I warn you, do NOT cater to her picky eating 'cause it can grow with the child. I have a 15 year old niece that is so picky, my brother-in-law can hardly stand taking her out to eat. When we went to my husband's birthday dinner at Uncle Julio's she had a grocery list of changes to her taco plate and when they brought it out EXACTLY as she asked, she still had a problem with it and wouldn't eat it. It's definitely a control issue with her, as it has always been, but her mom and grandmother always catered to her picky eating so now it's just the norm for her.

Good luck!