I'm Going Back to work....how Do I Deal with the Transition?

It sounds like you have a lot of great options. When I went to work full time, I started with a half-day at the child care while I was home/nearby, then began work a couple days a week the first week, and after 2 weeks went full time. If you have that flexibility, it could ease the transition. It could be great to have your m-i-l there to help if it takes you a while to find that perfect child care situation and you need to go to work, but just keep in mind that consistency is best, and having too many different arrangements may be a bit harder on him than just getting going. Good luck!

Hi Molly,
Sounds like you've been carefully thinking about this. I think at your son's young age if he can be home with a caregiver that would be best imo.
blessings and a successful transition for all of you,
S.

I have a 9 month old and am also planning on returning to work when he is a year old. (Although sometimes I feel bad for wanting to do something other then be at home). My first went to daycare at 18 months and had a great time. (I cried.) I am very nervous about sending my one year old to daycare (although I love the center I have picked out) since he is also nursing full time and not taking very much solid food. I just want to say good luck and I feel your concerns. Sorry I don't have any advice, other then I agree if you could have your nanny bring the baby to your work to nurse, that might be awesome. Good luck!

Just remember there are real benefits to having kids in good quality child care, and this is born out by the federal studies my husband and I researched before we went the same route (negative results also correlate with poor quality programs; you need to look for good ratios, payscale, longevity, programming, education qualifications, etc). Our kids really benefitted from having the exposure to a stimulating environment and social time with other kids. My daughter is turning 7 in a couple weeks and has invited her oldest friend - from the child care program - to the party. They met when they were babies and were in the same group as toddlers, then preschoolers. For my son, being the only boy in our family, in the shadow of a big sister, it was wonderful for him to be able to have that time with other little boys. I worked a PT schedule 4 days a week, which gave us a break together in the middle. I loved it. It was good for me too, and a happy healthy mom is the best kind of mom!!

Good luck.

No recommendations. Just wishes of good luck and the firm belief that both of you will make it thru this next phase with flying colors. Most babies love a challenge (thrive on it) and it is us mommies that let them go with tears in our eyes.

Yes, this is hardest on Mom! I remember worrying myself at this time.

There is no perfect plan for transitioning, I would take into account how your son normally handles new experiences and go from there. Some children adjust very quickly, others have some difficulty and need to ease into new things. If you are comfortable with the people at a center, he likely will be, too. Nannys seem to work well for my friends who need care for many hours a day and/or can afford the price. Same advice, be comfortable with the person, use your instincts. My daughter attended daycare at a YMCA from 3 months until Kindergarten and it was a good experience.

When my daughter was 9 months old, I went back to working outside-the-home (even though I still had plenty of work inside-the-home!), on a parttime basis. It felt really great to get back into the office-type professional realm, but it would have been awful had we not found a wonderful babysitter who loved spending time with my daughter. I really am not big on daycare centers, so I would suggest hiring a nanny to come to your home and watch her. You could have her shadow Granny during her visit, and then take over when she leaves. I do know there is a professional nanny association here in the U.S., you will have to Google it to find more information on it. The baby's first year goes by so quickly, even though when you're in the midst of it it seems to go so very slowly. At least that's what I think. You will not have everything figured out when you go back to work because this is impossible to get right from the get-go. Don't worry, your family rhythm will adjust and you will be there enough for your child and everything will be just fine. I also don't think you need to wean, you could just pump at work and freeze the milk for your child for later...or have him brought to work so you can nurse him. Have fun at your new job! It is healthy for both of you to have a change to your regular routine.

Well, I completely disagree with your decision to work...Just kidding!

How could anyone disagree? What is right for you is right for you! Anyways, I would, if you choose daycare, start him slowly. Usually it takes about 1 or 2 weeks to insert the child into the whole day routine. First he'll stay with you, then you leave him a little, and everyday a bit longer until he eats and sleeps there. If you can, I would also have a nanny on call or someone else. When my kids started daycare they were sick all the time. You don't want to be stuck in the morning when they wake up with a fever, etc. Have all your bases covered. You may want to have just a nanny if you can't have one on"just in case" duty, because the expenses can get high if you're paying for daycare and nanny. Get your MIL to come. The more help the better (if you have a good relationship with her) Remember,the transition is usually harder on the mom than the kids. We worry worry worry. Most kids adapt really well. I had very little problems with mine and the earlier you put them in, the easier I think it is on them. When I started my 1 1/2 year old in daycare he never cried once, where as my 2 year old shed afew tears. It breaks your heart, but they get over it and in my opinion, need to learn that they can't always be with mommy. Good luck!

I haven't been through this personally but I do have some suggestions.

First a heads up. I've heard of babies/children turning their days and nights around with breastfeeding so keep in mind that may happen. He may decide not to drink anything while you are gone and nurse often at night.... Some kids switch over without a problem. Congrats on nursing for this long already!!! I suggest you continue (at least for another few months) so you will still have that bond with him even though you are returning to work.

I think a nanny is a great idea. Our vet (they had 3 kids at the time, now 4) sent their kids to daycare and said that they were always coming down with something. They now have a nanny coming in and he said it is great! The kids are healthier. They know they are getting good food. Personalized care since she is only watching THEIR kids. Etc. So, definitely LOOK into it. Maybe tour and interview a few daycares and interview a few nannies and see what seems like the best fit for your family. Another plus with a nanny is you can set up for as many hours as you need a week and then have a stipulation in the contract you draw up about if you need her for more. With a nanny, you get to make up the rules and contract.

I am NOT against daycares. I did daycare for 5 years. BUT I know there are a LOT of BAD daycares out there. Some are easy to spot but some can put on a good show. I am related to one that is terrible but she can put on a show in front of the parents like a pro!

You are right that kids adapt easier to change than adults. Just make sure to follow your instincts.

I understand you are going through a time of change but I think you are overthinking it. I think every mom who has to work struggles with putting their child in daycare but I can say I think it can be an absolutely wonderful experience for them. My son loves "school." He knows all his friends names and loves all the activities. I think the key is just making sure you find a place that isn't just watching your child during the day but where he is actually learning, growing and experiencing, as much as he would if he were with you. It will most likely be harder on you than your child. There was one previous e-mail who said the first week or 2 will be a transition but once your son gets it, he will like it. I would agree. My son thrives on a regular schedule, as I believe most children do, so I would make a decision and stick with it and don't be changing it up too much. Good luck...you will both be fine!

I was in your shoes. I think I had a more difficult time adjusting than my daughter did. I was pitiful. Though I'll be honest she hated daycare, but afte the first week she was fine. The first day I dropped her off she liked it cause of all the toys. When I picked her up she was kinda mad however. The next day I took her she was really ticked off cause it appeared to be a regular thing now. Day three she wasn't havin it. Day 4 and 5 was kinda like whatever. From there we decided to have her go M W F. My mom watched her the other days. She was ok with that. She's 4 now and loves going to daycare. It's all about playing with her friends right now. You'll get into a routine and everyone will be fine. It will be hard for you sitting at work in the beginning. You'll be getting used to a new routine. You'll be thinking about what you would be doing if you were home. Your head won't be at your job for about two weeks, but that will pass. You will be fine.