I'm Having a GIRL!!! Dreading Seeing Inlaws Because They Will Be Disapointed...

I'm afraid would have a zero tollerance policy. I would say,

"Whatever disappointment you have now, I recommend you get over it before this little girl is born, because she is going to be loved and cherished by her family and if you can't do that we are a package deal. You don't get to choose which of MY children you like better and you certainly don't get to show it to them or to her dad and me. So, whatever negative feelings you have about this, get them out right now because this is a one time offer and after that this family is off the table for negotiations."

I am all good with me, but I dare anyone to cross my kids. And the girl isn't even born.

Go and hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Begin as you mean to go on.

Congrats!
Any silly condolences - ask where they would be without a female in their family...and see if they grasp the concept.
If they grumble, 'blame' it on their son - after all, he's the one that carries both the X and the Y chromosome!
3 big brothers - that little girl is lucky. No dates till college :)

I am so happy for you! I can't believe a grandma would even act this way...obnoxious!!! My parents are so happy with either!

First, announce it again when you first get there and make sure to say how thrilled you are that you're having a girl. If they have any sense, this should shut them down. Repeat how thrilled you are as often as you can.

Second, I am the youngest and have three older brothers. Although I missed out on having a sister (which seems like a really cool relationship), I love having older brothers. If having older brothers makes her tougher, that's a good thing. And having a younger sister should benefit your sons as well.

Note: pay extra attention to the youngest boy. He'll be the one who benefits least and pays the most. It's a tough spot to be.

Congrats!!!!! I am soooo excited for you! I am pregnant as well and don't know what we are having yet--but anyways, its not your job to make sure your inlaws are ok with it or how they feel. You can't control how they feel. The best way to tell them is to say----Guess what? We are having a baby girl and we are estatic! Over the moon, excited as can be etc. Then they won't have a chance to rein on your parade. If they are rude or negative about it. Simply say " I am sorry you feel that way and won't share in our excitement. Please keep your comments to yourself. We are thrilled and only want those that love and support us and ALL of our children around us right now. Or you can pull out the mama bear claws and let them have it. How dare them say anything to you! Hang in there and don't let ANYONE including family---steal your JOY!

M

Eff them. If they come at you with 'tude, tell them that you don't want to hear it. Do not defend your feelings with explanation. That is all.

Oh, and congratulations.

Awww, what AWESOME news! That's for sharing, I love happy happy news, and on Friday, too!

I had two boys and we were shocked to find out the third was a girl. My husband said to the ultrasound tech....Are you SURE?! And then gave me a look like I pulled some kind of trick on him!

My daughter, now 14, is a joy every day of my life. Not that my boys aren't of course, but she's MY GIRL, you know?

Forget your inlaws, you must be grinning ear to ear.

Congrats!

:)

You've GOT to be kidding. That they wouldn't be excited about a girl...and they'd actually say so...is mind-boggling. Don't let them get you down -- ANY child is a blessing, and princess after 3 boys -- woo hoo!! I'd be elated and so would anyone I know.

I can't believe your inlaws actually voiced anything concerning the sex of their upcoming grandchild. Kind of tacky if you ask me. If they make any negative comments you need to stick up for yourself and your unborn child now. Perfect responses are "Why would you even say something like that?" or "I don't believe such loving grandparents would care about the baby being a girl instead of a boy." If you let things slide then it'll continue so put your foot down now.

And congrats on your upcoming daughter. I've got 3 brothers, no sisters, and I managed just fine.

SEXIST PIGS. Tell them so. Girls live very full lives today because women like me went on the line for women in our 20's and 30's. Yes I did sue the federal government and we won. We can have any profession we want
from lumberjack to physician. Women use birth control and not feel the pinch of endless children being born to them unless we want another child. We have sexual freedom if we don't let some problematic religious body tell use we haven't the right to do what men have always done.
We are in sports, women are in House and the Senate.
If your in-law's don't like girls then they cannot see any of your children without supervision. You cannot have their attitutes take over your family.

I thought I was going to have this problem with my FIL. He was already talking about buying a little infant baseball glove the second he found out I was pregnant, because he wanted a grandson so bad. I told my husband straight away that in my family I was the last grand child to be born that could carry on the family name. So when my mom had a girl, everyone was upset. Something I heard about ALL the freaking time. I warned him that if we had a girl and he gave me a hard time about it, that words would be said, and they would not be pretty. No way in HELL would I let my daughter go through what I did.

We did have a girl and through my pregnancy my FIL made jokes that the ultrasound was wrong, that she was a boy. I often joked back, (kinda), that I could castrate him and then they would have something in common. He got the picture pretty quick and he ADORES his granddaughter.

Honestly, put your foot down NOW. My grandparents tried to make me feel like a failure because I was a girl, and I wished my mom would have told them to stick a sock in it!

Tell them to put on their big boy/girl panties and deal with it. 1) She's a girl, not some freakshow alien with five heads and 2) if they don't like niece then maybe they don't like girls, or maybe they just don't like your niece! I would talk to DH and tell him that you don't want to hear it from his parents as you are HAPPY to have a HEALTHY baby GIRL on the way. Ask him to have your back.

I would also look out for my baby girl and make sure her grands don't make her feel like she's incapable, not smart, only good for being pretty, etc. Build her up.

First of all....congratulations!!!!! I think the last part of your post where you said you weren't going to let anyone rain on your parade is the key!! Who cares what they wanted.....it's YOUR baby and you have every right to be excited. They can only bother you if you let them!! (Easier said than done, I know).

If they start with negative comments tonight, just smile and say something like...."oh, I'm sorry you feel that way but we are SUPER excited to be adding to our family, no matter what the sex is". That might get the point across. It sounds like your FIL knows he stepped on your feelings a little bit already so I imagine they will probably be on their good behavior. :)

forget them! it is their problem not yours...Congrads and enjoy. Laugh at em when they make remarks and say just that "I am seeing pink".

Yes, my sis has 4 boys. I have 2 boys. I am now pregnant and the entire family wants a girl. I am dreading telling my family b/c they will constantly say, "I hope it's a girl" and whine if it turns out to be another boy. I would LOVE a boy or girl, but I know I will get some annoying remarks too.

All you can do is just remain calm and happy with your little baby.

As for anyone who makes a catty remark, just tell them, "Well, why don't YOU go and get pregnant then?"

First - congratulations on your princess! You deserve her! :) Second - I would either ignore the inlaws or either nip it the bud with them if they start up about girls by telling them, this baby is a miracle and to disparage her before they've even met her is a disgrace. That should shut them up.

I have found that parents of only boys have major problems when they are blessed with granddaughters. I think it is because they don't know anything about girls and how to raise them. Not sure if that's your situation with your inlaws, but people are just damn weird sometimes.

Don't let anyone rain on your princess parade. I'd be buying pink cupcakes for everyone at that b-day party. ;)

I truly and deeply hope that your in-laws do not start transferring their general dislike for girls onto your little girl.

What you calmly describe is some rather disturbing, deep seated resentment (whether it was learned in social or familial circless only you and hubs know) towards ALL girls. And I doubt your own daughter will be immune from their sexist scrutiny. I hope you get this and will provide a more positive environment for her.

If they start to brainwash the family that your 3 boys are perfect and the other girl is a brat...I would find that extremely insulting and would limit contact between my sons and them as I would not want my sons thinking and believing this way about women. Because if they learn to believe this nonsense, guess what, they will find wimpy, voiceless women to marry.

This is all very disturbing to me. Sorry.

But, congrats on adding some pink to the blue.

pfffft on them...I got the same kinda thing from inlaws about my son... 'they already had a grandson they needed a grandaughter!!' They were SO convinced he was a girl (even tho I already knew before the sono it was a boy) that they got all girl stuff, dolls and dresses!

Congratulations! I'm really hoping for a little pink bundle this time.

What a jerk. I'm sorry your niece is a brat (mine is too), but that doesn't mean your little one will be. This kind of stuff makes me crazy. A healthy beautiful baby girl.. and they're disappointed? Well, screw them.

IF they have the balls to say something negative, then kindly kiss the birthday celebrants and head out. Seriously. You have to nip that immediately. If they can't embrace the idea of another granddaughter, then they need to be prepared to have limited contact.

I'm sorry they are being so juvenile, but you should go out today and buy something pink and ruffly!

Don't you dare let anyone steal your joy!!!!!! You are having a beautiful princess after having three boys and I'm sure you are so happy! Not to mention she will have three VERY protective brothers to watch out for her. So happy for you (we just found out we are having a second girl after they told us that it was a boy ;o )) Girls are sweet, precious little things....so excited for you!!

Well you just be proud of having a little girl in your oven. She is gonna be the best, they will see! Don't worry about any of them and what they think and just enjoy your pregnancy! Take care!

I understand about this. Everyone in my family had girls for like generations! No boys at all! So when I got pregnant...it was a girl...big shock there. When I got pregnant the second time, it was a boy. And my mom, aunt, uncle and grandparents were SO disappointed!! I was like, what???!!! But I'll tell you what, everyone loves him and he's so spoiled. I can't remember now my reaction to them (he's almost 9) but I'm sure I said something like "you WILL love and care about him as much as my daughter and LIKE IT". Anyway, I think you should say something to them but not really sure what. Just stand firm and make it known that you will not accept any attitudes toward this little girl because she doesn't deserve it. And CONGRATS!!! Good luck!!!

Congrats!!! :-))

I had an aunt who had 2 boys and no girls and she seemed to resent me and my girl cousins because she didn't have girls. She was always as mean as she could be to us. Whenever I think of her I think what a B**CH. I simply can't stand her or to be around her.

The best thing you can do is to inform your family that you are having a baby girl and she will be loved and cherished by all or they won't see you or your kids. No playing favorites, so special trips with the boys and not including the girls, no boy only sleep overs. We are a FAMILY and we love each other equally.

I know from my own experience that being treated as an outsider is not good. It only made me feel like there was something wrong with me. And I am terrific.

Congrats on your new blessing. I honestly don't get why people get so hung up on gender. I would just say "We are really excited that everyone is healthy so far". I can not believe as grandparents that they are disappointed about a girl. I have a niece who sounds about like yours and I will admit after we had my daughter, my husband thought she was going to be just like her. Turns out she isn't. Boys can be brats just like girls can. I hope you have a great time at your part & please don't let anyone rain on your parade.

Yay for you, congrats!!!
How sad that your in laws are this way. My best friend's MIL is the same, she absolutely gushes over her grandson and practically ignores her granddaughter, I just don't get it :(

My IL's are maybe not that extreme, but without even realizing it they've made some comments.
My husband is the middle of 3 boys. My husbands two brothers have each had a girl and boy and we had 2 girls.

My FIL has stated girls are whiney.
My MIL stated to one of my SIL, I don't know what I would've done if I had a girl. (We guess she forgot momentarily that although SIL does have a boy she has a girl too)

I love my girls with all my heart and I'm a firm believer kids are A. Born with their personalities and B. are what you make them - meaning for example if you raise your daughter not to whine...she won't whine. I just let the little comments roll off my back.

But really, my IL's love my kids and although I hear them praising mostly about the boys....I know they do love my children and try their best to be fair with all their grand kids.

Hooray! Congratulations! You are going to have so much fun with this girl. And she is going to grow up the cool girl with 3 older brothers. She will be trying to do everything they do! How strange that your in-laws don't like girls. I have never heard of that. You'd think they would be thrilled. Well, ignore them. Congrats again!!!!! I'm very happy for you :)

Congrats!!
Don't let their negativity get you down. They will love that child when it gets here. Maybe they had a secret bet going over what it was and that's why HE wanted to tell your MIL. So he could rub it in!!

My advice is not to say anything. Let them approach you about it. Just sit there with a happy little smirk and let them TRY to bring you down....
(take earplugs just in case), and DON'T SHARE NAMES.

Tell them that you're going to name her Billy or Sam or Andy so that they'll have their 'boy' name.

Although, I must say, that you may want to join 'Shopping for Little Girls Anonymous' now, because if you're like me, you'll go overboard and there won't be room in the room for the baby princess!!

Just to get you started, check out these sites:
http://www.amazon.com/Disney-Fairy-Dreams-Piece-Bedding/d...
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_9?url=search-ali...
http://www.ababy.com/data/prince--princess/prince--prince...
http://www.ababy.com/data/prince--princess-1.html

First of all, congrats to you, what exciting news! I can't believe anyone would be disappointed... how sad. I would just be really upbeat and show them how excited YOU are about having a girl, and if they don't embrace her, then it is their loss. It will be wonderful for your little girl to grow up with 3 big brothers to protect her! CONGRATS!

Congrats!!! You know what that's her problem....! How exciting that you will have a little princess..You'll have the best of both worlds and older brothers to look out for their sister.

No, don't let anything rain on your parade. Girls are great! And your girl isn't going to be a brat, of course.

But your relatives will have to discover that for themselves. Some folks just have have to take time to process big surprises.

If, right now, the joy is limited to you, your husband, and your daughter's three big brothers, that's a whole lot of joy right there.

My MIL was disappointed that I had a boy, she was really hoping for a granddaughter (she had really wanted a daughter, but had 4 boys herself) Then he came out looking just like me and she spent the next couple of years obsessed with figuring out which member of her side of the family he looked like!
She eventually got over it, yours will likely get over it too. In the meantime, just move the conversation along to something else. Enjoy your little girl and don't worry about your inlaws!

YIPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! Another woman to rule the world!! LOL!!! What JOY you must be feeling. A happy, healthy baby is the MOST important thing in the world!!

How dare they say such things? I resented it SOOOOOOOOOO much when my inlaws made comments about my 2nd daughter not being a boy. Yes we wanted a boy, but I LOVED my lil girl and wouldn't have traded her for 20 boys. When we decided to have another child, the snide remarks about having 3 girls started. As well as comments about having another because they assumed we would have another girl (I was done at three kids...no matter if we had a boy or girl) I wanted to slap them ALL in the face. We were blessed with a little boy, and I'm really happy that I don't have to hear those comments anymore. If we'd had another girl and I'd had to listen to any taunting...an inlaw would have died a horrible death. I think my one SIL is really just jealous because she wanted a girl so bad and got two boys... since she had such a hard time getting prego, you'd think she'd just be happy to have the two she had.

Whew...sorry venting there for a second....I wouldn't tolerate any negativity AT ALL!!! Good call getting your hubby to back you up...

Congrats again!! Wishing you nothing but joy with your princess!!!

Congratulations!! I had 3 boys first, then a girl. She is such a wonderful addition to our family. She can hang with her brothers, but she is also such a help to me. She is maturing and learning many new skills like sewing and cooking. I had 2 more girls after her, so we are all even now, three of each, boys first, then girls. Neat and organized. :) We'll see what the tie-breaker is that I am currently carrying! :)

Congrats!
I hope that in a few years you won't be posting here with one of those sad posts about how "my in-laws favor my sons over my daughter." There are always posts about grandparents showing favoritism. Be sure to nip that in the bud from the get-go, and to do that you will need your husband 100 percent, completely, utterly on board. Talk to him right now and tell him you are feeliing there's already disbelief from his parents about the baby's being a girl, which could turn into resentment, and when you add in the fact that his parents have had a very bad experience with their one granddaughter, this is all a recipe for a future of them favoring your sons over your daughter. Get hubby on board early to be your daughter's advocate and protector. HE needs to be the one to tell his parents when they are out of line. While I bet they will change their tune once they get to know her, the many posts on here over the years about grandparents favoring certain children do show that it happens. I'm not trying to be a downer, I'm just saying be aware, keep your eyes open once the baby's here and growing, and be sure he's tuned in to their attitude as well. It's an attitude that can change if they want it to! Meanwhile, enjoy your pregnancy and your little girl.

You're the mom. You're doing the work. What they think should not matter where this is concerned. Maybe your in laws have just been soured on little girls because of your bratty niece. Prove them wrong.
I am an only sister with four brothers. We had rough times when we were younger but, honestly, I think I am a better person for having to stand my ground against all those boys. I absolutely adore them now and we are all very close. Your little girl is a lucky young lady to have so many big brothers looking out for her. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

awesome!!....tell the people who have a problem with this to zip it.

A little less locker room, a little more pink..........never hurt anyone

They'll get over it. I raised 4 girls and was a bit shocked when we found out my grandson was coming a long. I was hoping for a girl because it's what I know.

Well my SIL and BIL had two boys then they had a girl, me and my hubby had two boys as well.....kids are ages almost 5-10. I have to say my inlaws have little to do with our niece, do not know why because she is the sweetest little thing(6 y o). I was nervious when we found out that we were having a girl last year, my inlaws have been great with her and my MIL gets her tons of Gymboree clothes:) Just be prepared that your boys might "rub off" on your little girl. Our little lady likes cars, star wars figures, climbs, hits and bites unfortunatly and loves to rough house and she is not even 1 y o yet :)

I suggest you're making assumptions. I urge you to work on finding a way to have clear communication. How do you know your mil doesn't really like girls. Has she told you. If not, don't make that assumption. Doing so just makes life more complicated.

To me, it sounds like your fil was expressing surprise and not disapproval. Again, you're making assumptions.

And......bottom line. Does it really matter what they think or like? This is your child; not theirs.