I'm THAT Mom... - Long Beach,CA

Do you have the book "Llama Llama Misses Mama?" It's a great book for this situation. My kids love it, and it helped them feel more comfortable at school. Highly recommend it!

http://www.amazon.com/Llama-Misses-Mama-Anna-Dewdney/dp/0...

It is only day three, it will get better.

I was dropping off my kids at school today and I heard one of the kindergartners telling his mom very loudly and through tears.."that he had tried school and did not want to come back and she was still bringing him"

I smiled because seriously that was me just a couple of years ago. :):)

It will get better I promise.
Many blessings

You have to keep the goodbyes short and sweet.
Get him ready, give him a big hug at home before the drive, then at school it's all business, deliver him to where he needs to be, tell him you'll see him later then make your exit.
It might take him awhile to adjust - maybe a few weeks - but really most kids are done crying within 10 minutes after you leave.
Our son's school had a window that parents could peek through without the kids seeing them.
It's really amazing how quickly they get over their morning cry and then go on to have a great day.
It will be fine - just give it some time!

Keep going, drop off right at the last second and walk away. Don't look back, don't cling, don't go in ... walk away. This may escalate the crying for a day or two but will be good to go in a matter of days where as if you keep this up it may never end.

We have ALL the Llama Llama books LOVE THEM!!!

It could take a couple weeks longer. Don't over think it. It's the age.
It's like you don't expect a two yr old not to tantrum, or a four yr not to smart off, you just handle it when it happens.

He will be ok. You will be ok.
Make his passage into this age exciting. Give him opportunities to do things he has always wanted to do but you never felt like he was old enough to do.
Buy something himself. Decide something himself. Watch something You have not let him watch. Skate or bike where he has never been.
Then praise him for how much he has matured. Remind him how mature he is now when you go to drop him off. Remind him of what he can do now.
When growing up is opening good doors for him, he won't fight it so much.

It will get easier. Try to keep your drop off short and sweet and as hard as this sounds, if you can leave at the door rather than go into the classroom, that will make it easier.

He'll be ok. The teachers are used to working with kids that have a harder time separating. You might ask them for tips that have worked best in previous years.

Teach him how to breathe and calm himself down too. That will help him manage his anxiety better, if he has some tools.

Good luck~

Hugs to both of you. And I was THAT mom 8 years ago with my daughter. She cried every day for two weeks, maybe a little longer. It just took a little time. I did talk to the teacher to make sure she was on my side! I asked what we could do, making sure that I didn't do anything she didn't like (like taking too long and letting things linger) and that she understood I like a gentle approach. We worked it out that I would stand in the line to get into class with all of the kids, holding DD's hand. When we got to the head of the line where the teacher stands, I would put her hand from mine into the teacher's and she would stand by the teacher to help her 'welcome' the other kids. For my daughter, it helped to have something else to focus on and a job to do. Worked like a charm. So maybe ask the teacher for some support that way, that he has a big important job to do as soon as he gets in there. Distraction is the key. And maybe give him a little 'lovey' to keep in his pocket or backpack if he needs it .

I know it doesn't seem like it in the moment, but I swear it will pass. Notice no one on here said that their kid cried as a kindie and was still crying in 4th grade? He'll be fine, promise.

My only advice it to have a SHORT dropoff routine, and stick to it. How exactly you work it depends on your schools procedure (if they let you get out of the car and walk to the door, or if you just stay in the car in a dropoff lane, etc), but short and sweet is key. I found that the quicker I got out the door, the less time there was for tears. The longer I stayed to try to comfort, the more time there was for my child to get upset.

We went through it at an earlier age, but I would think it's probably similar, regardless of the age.

Does he have friends in the neighborhood? If there is an older kid the he likes then maybe he could go in and out with that kid. Sometimes having someone other than mom helps ease that transition

Have you tried the book The Kissing Hand?

My youngest is in the 5th grade and yes, even now she cried every time I drop her off. I have decided to home school her this year to curb the drama. She was so anxious as a kindergartner and 1st grader. It was her 2nd grade teacher that really got my attention and my daughter is highly sensitive and has Oppositional Defiance Disorder. I am not saying that your child has something but you might want to talk to him and then to your doctor if it continues. But make sure that you always tell him that you love him and you might need to work on your own anxiety too. Oh goodness, mine was and sometimes still is off the charts. Don't worry about what others think. You kid is yours and yours only. God chose you to love and nurture him.

Hi there,

There was a similar post up on this yesterday:
http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/4274456762842873857

I need to go eat, so I'll keep it short. It will get better.. this will pass. My son's first few months were obnoxious AT HOME... that's where he was having his big meltdowns. All that to say, it did get better, it just takes a couple months for the kids to really figure it out. Keep calm, check in with the teacher to see how he does after drop-off (a lot of times they bounce back pretty quickly when Mom is gone) and let the teacher know that if he/she has any advice or suggestions you would appreciate it.

Except in extreme cases, the criers are fine after 2 minutes.
Keep it short, sweet, and let your child know you WANT him/her to enjoy the school day.
And never let them see you sweat.
They sense your anxiety like sharks smell blood in the water!

How heartbreaking this is for you...Tell you the truth, I was a lot luckier with my little man since I eased him into the schooling process with part-time pre-school and then, full-time (mornings, only) pre-k first.

Try to get him to school earlier. It gives him for time to prepare and even have some sane, quiet moments with just a handful of children.

Try to identify some kind and calm classmates of his and make friendly acquaintances with their moms at drop-off, if possible. (I was the other mom -- my little Man took the hand of a crying classmate for days to help her adjust and bring her to the classroom. Till this day, the little girl knows my boy will always be a friend to her.)

Give your little boy something of Mommy's to remind him Mommy's near...and will see him very, very soon. I tucked a little portrait of the two of us into his bookbag.. He never took it out, but it was enough to know that it was in there.

Finally, read "The Kissing Hand" to your little man...and make sure he has a kiss to keep all day.

He's going to be fine in another week. Promise! And you hang in there, too, Mom!

Gah, my FIRST GRADER has been like this all this past week! I swear, it's the same school and by day 3 of Kinder she was telling me to "shoo!". I just push her through the door and tell her She being silly and to "git!".

I think yours will do just fine after a while, maybe you can talk to the staff and have a "buddy" assigned to your boy. An older student or staff member to wait at the door for you both and take over walking your son to his class in the mornings. Transferring his trust to the same person everyday might help him transition.

On Monday, my 1st grader was crying and I had to walk him to the door. He said he hated school. I was worried sick all day. I emailed the teacher later in the day to see how he was doing. She explained that he had a rough day and a rough previous week. Had trouble following directions. I told her I would talk to him.
The rest of the week went much better. Teacher said he did great and thanked me for talking to him.

I guess you need to find out if it's him or if the school is the right fit for him. My son had trouble last year getting to school. I had to walk him to the door many times. He would say how bored he was there and how much he hated it. Luck for me, I was able to volunteer weekly to see how he was doing. The teacher was fantastic and although he had his bad days, for the most part he was doing well. I guess all I can say is communicate on a regular basis with the teacher. If you can, volunteer. It makes all the difference when my kids see me in their classroom. I also meet them for lunch afterwards.

If you find out that the school is a problem, then I would suggest placing him elsewhere.

This week he got all green checkmarks which is very good. I plan to reward him by taking him someplace fun this weekend.

Is he a young 5? Has he ever been to preschool? It may just take some more time to adjust, especially if he didn't got to preschool. But if he is really young, being a boy, he just might not be ready. I just answered another post today about my son that has a birthday on 8/20. Cut off for entering school is 8/31. In the end, we decided he wasn't ready to start kinder when he was 4 turning 5, and waited an extra year so he was 5 turning 6 when he started. He's in 3rd grade now and it was the best decision we could have made.

My step daughter's mom is a kindergarten teacher at a charter school. My SD's birthday is in late December so she obviously didn't make the cutoff, but her mom pulled a few strings and was able to have her go to kindergarten at her school when she was 4, with the full expectation she would repeat kindergarten at our neighborhood school the following year, the year she was supposed to go. For the first few MONTHS, she cried nearly every day only when she got to school that she didn't want to be there. I personally felt they needed to pull her because she was too young, but my husband and her mom left her in and finally eventually she came around. But it did take her a long time to adjust to kindergarten. She had only ever been in my care or a neighbor friend's care prior to that, no formal preschool. She did also repeat kindergarten when she was supposed to start and now she's in 1st grade.

Anyway, maybe he just needs more time? I worry about my 4 year old next year. She's extremely shy and I fear she'll have problems starting school.

Good luck!

Yeah -- Welcome to the THAT mom club!

My youngest always had a hard time with transitions. When she was your little guy's age she attended a small school & the regular process for all little kids was that a parent would walk them into the building. When I dropped her off, there was some weeping & she'd try to get me to stay; I tried to keep it short & sweet and then I'd turn & leave. When my husband would drop her off, he had a really hard time leaving if she wanted him to stay -- and she ALWAYS wanted him to stay! It became a huge production: she'd cling to him & wail, he'd try to comfort her. Several times the teacher had to actually pry her off him & whisper to her that she was scaring the other kids. Yeah, THAT was embarrassing!

Any way, a little instruction to Dad, a few (repeated) conversations at home and a little time and we all got over it.

For what it's worth, she's now a sophomore in college and hasn't cried at the start of the school year in, oh, at least a year or two! ;-)

Hang in, mama. Keep drop-offs short & simple, talk with him about how excited you are that he's going to school, help him identify friends or activities in class that he can look forward to seeing. This, too, shall pass!

As long as you don't get out of the car, give him a hug and say I love you and I'll see you later, then leave he will likely stop doing this within a week.

If you have to get out and take him in then it will take a little longer. Maybe 2 weeks. The longest I ever had was 3 weeks and that was because the mom NEVER left. She'd come in to drop the kiddo off and she'd still be there an hour later trying to leave. Of course the kiddo had it all figured out. He'd stop crying before mom got to the front door when she finally left.

My youngest was/is a crier. Like your son, she has a very hard time with transitions, always has, and probably always will. She's kind of a homebody, and is very happy when we're at home, but just doesn't love being out and about in a crowd - which includes school. To be honest, for her, she did learn not to cry at drop-off, but she never did learn to love it. Often times, by the end of the day, she'd be so stressed out that she'd cry for any or no reason. This year (4th grade) we took her out of public school, and we are homeschooling. She's so much happier. It's like a weight has been lifted off of her shoulders.

Anyway, your son will get over the crying at drop-off. Depending upon his personality, he may really learn to love the hustle and bustle of school, or he may not. But it won't always be this hard.

How about letting him ride a hook bus? When you say drop off, do you mean he gets out of car and goes to an adult waiting or do you park, and walk him to his classroom. If you do walk him in, stop. That makes it worse. He will adjust they all do. No one ever went off to college crying for Mom lol.

Does he have a friend he can buddy up with. Like you drive one day, other mother the next.

He is not the first to cry and he won't be the last.

Good luck.
I always wondered why there is a crying K child in my son's class. Did he not go to preschool, perhaps? I don't know so I guess every situation is different?

That does sound rough! Kind of like 2 year-old preschool, but by age 3 they were fine on the first day.