I'm Too Young to Not Have a Sex Drive Anymore!

I never had this issue until my second child was born (he's now 7), just like you I was great before then. Now I would rather sleep; however, the lightbulb went on when I was talking to a friend about it and her response was, "How would I feel if the shoe was on the other foot?". I knew exactly how I'd feel, unwanted, undesired, etc. Since then I've made a consious effort to create, if not, participate in those moments. It is not always easy to do, but the days I usually don't want to, are the days that I end up most satisfied and close to my husband.

Birth Control pills killed my drive at 22 and didn't return till I went off them. Don't know if this might be part of it, but thought I'd pass it on.

I agree about the ladies night LOL!! Being home with the kids makes you forget about YOU!!! It's hard to feel sexy when your in "mom" mode.

Try this. I know it is so silly but pick a day in your head that you want to have sex. Then on that day wear your sexiest panties and bra. (go buy some if your don't own any anymore) It can still be under your house clothes but YOU will know your sexy under it all. It will help you keep the sexy thought in your head all day making you more likely for lovin that night.

Thyroid disease can cause low sex drive also. Do you feel tired all the time? Do you have hair loss not noticeable but does your hair seem to shed? Do you get charlie horse pains? These are a few symptoms of thyroid disease. Just a thought if nothing else that was recommended works and you have these symptoms it is worth getting checked out by a Endocrinologist who specializes in thyroid disease.

Hi S.-

With 3 young children the way you are feeling is perfectly normal. My husband and I have the same issue. While I am still not nearly as into "it" as my husband, he has actually figured out how to improve his chances. There have been studies that have shown that men who help out more around the house actually have more active sex lives with their wives than men who do not. My husband discovered that if he takes more of the burden off of me at night with the kids, his odds are greatly improved for that night.

Funny story......my neighborhood has a ladies night once a month. I would go occasionally and I noticed that lately my husband was really encouraging me to go. Turns out he had realized that after I'm out with my friends relaxing, I tend to be more agreeable to having sex. I hadn't even realized, but he said it happened after every ladies night!!

Good Luck!
K.

S., you've described me to a T. I have kids 6, 4 & 2, married 7 years, and I'm at the same weight as B.C. (before children). But I don't care about sex, even with a handsome, buff husband (he works out = high libido). Crazy me!!!
Talking about it with your husband is the key to keeping things together. Please do bring it up with him during a neutral moment so he understands you're still attracted to him, your body just isn't responding.
Next talk to your GYN - if you take certain medications they can decrease your sex drive for sure. That includes some birth control and antidepressants. Also do the hormone check as others suggested. Even if you go the homeopathic route, getting those hormones in line can do wonders for your well-being.
Do NOT "just do it" for him - you will end up feeling resentful and hate sex. It should never be a duty or chore. Believe me, I've been there. Don't kid yourself and disservice both you and him. Talk about it and work it out.

What I am trying is (1) regular exercise [hey it works for him] and (2) watching the timing. We all have the "good" days, we just need to be aware of them. And yes, it may be only once or twice a month. But, hearing my hubby talk about his workplace buddies' complaints, we are not the only ones!!!
Hang in there :)

Honestly this is a common problem. It can be caused by something as easily fixed as a hormone imbalance. Birth does strange things to our bodies. There are other causes to. I would start with you gynocologist and insist on a full hormone screening. It is a simple blood test. That will at least be a place to start. Mommy burn out can also cause it. Start with the gyno and see where that leads you. good luck.

I would take Karen's advice. Once you think about it, it's so true! My husband and I have the same problem, BUT REVERSED. Weirdest thing ever I know. You might also try going on a date every now and again. The every day hustle and bustle can make hubby seem like a stranger sometimes. GOOD LUCK!

L. D.
www.just4mylittlegirl.com

With all the stress of children and family, my appetite started to wane during the first year. It was still enjoyable, but not as often as I had hoped. We never stopped, though. I gave him the right to get me going when I'm not feeling up to it. I taught him to do it when I'm asleep if he wants, and we joke about that. This way, he doesn't do without and I still feel attractive to him. That does wonders for my confidence when it's time for me to go for it!

I went through the same things and then all my hormones went on the fritz. PLEASE see a good welness doctor, they can monitor your hormones and do it naturally not through drugs. I went and saw Dr Kim Schroeder in Tomball.

V. M

I hear you girl! There are so many days I say to myself "tonight I am going to attack him!" and then when it is time to go to bed, all I want is sleep. I really like a lot of the ideas I saw here like the sexy clothes under the house clothes, I might just try that one. But one thing I do is I just don't turn him down. So many times I don't "feel" like it but when I can see he is in a lovin mood I just go with it and you know I always enjoy it and it keeps us close. I am not perfect, like I wish I innitiated more, but I really try to be there for him when he wants to go, because I need to be with him too even if my brain is telling me my body is too tired. And I will say if he all the sudden wasn't in the mood I would probably be hurt and wondering what was up, so I don't want him to feel that way. Anyway hang in there and if you can find a tiny little bit of strength just go for it girl! :)

I'm in the same boat with you. After my second child I gained a ton of weight and I lost all the drive. My doctor told me my hormones are out of whack and wanted to put me on medicine to control it but I try to live more naturally so my midwife suggested taking chastetree berry or Vitex that you can get at the Vitamin shoppe. It takes awhile to build enough up in your system to make a difference but once I had been on it for about three weeks I started feeling like the old me again. My moods are better, I lost a little weight, and my sex drive is slowly returning.

I'm going through the exact thing and really feel for you. Try to do some non-sexual things such as give him a backrub (or have him give you one)...a foot massage is nice too. If time is an issue (as in my case)...try to initiate early enough so that you aren't exhausted and just fall back on the pillow!