Imaginary Friend,wishful Thinking or Super Intuitive?

Updated on September 25, 2011
H.D. asks from Palatine, IL
7 answers

My 4 yr old has no idea I'm pregnant although she talks about having a sibling EVERYDAY. So they made houses at school and filled it with the names of the people that live in your house and she put herself and me then she put the same name she has decided is her future siblings name in her house. It's cute slash weird and creepy. I was planning on telling her this week at the 20 week ultrasound but I'm still not sure if it's too early 1-because my family is really mad that I'm going to be a single mom again & I know that's all she will be able to talk about 2-I think she will go nuts for the next 18-20 weeks waiting for her sibling to show up & 3-I'm a nervous nelly so I know I won't relax till I'm full term (which I know is nuts). So do I tell her and finally let her know that there's a baby on the way and finally make my family deal with what's going on or should I wait a little longer? Also, is her imaginary "friend" o.k.? Maybe babies are on her mind cuz I do have a bit of a belly happening?

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Children know and hear a lot of things we do not think they know.

I knew my mom was pregnant when I was 4. There were just signs. Phone conversations, the way she acted. The way she started talking about other children.. etc.. I think children are many times underestimated.

You are probably very close to your child and she knows you so well, she is intuitive as well as very bright and observant .

She is going ot be thrilled until the baby comes home and interrupts your daughters life.

My mom says the first night my baby sister woke me up, I told my mom she could take "baby sister"back to the hospital". I was over her real quick.

BTW, Congratulations!

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My friend in Billings was pregnant with her 3rd child and her second child kept saying that it wasn't the right baby...it wasn't his baby brother James...he was right, it was a baby sister.

When she got pregnant with her 4th child he knew right away and kept saying
"My baby brother James is coming.". He was right in both cases.

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L.G.

answers from Eugene on

You need to read Angels & Companions in Spirit. Everything you need to know about with child with prophetic abilities is in that book and the "imaginery" friend. The book has been in print for more than 25 years and so you can get it used from Powell's or Amazon. You can also buy it new.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Oh gads I love how kids being kids makes everyone think they are supernatural or something. Just because we don't give kids the credit they deserve for being able to think and rationalize doesn't mean they can't do it.

She either overheard conversations on the phone or perhaps another kid in the class is having a little sib. If your family is unhappy I am sure she has heard something. Just because they are unhappy doesn't mean she is, she is probably excited. Kids usually are until the reality of a little sib sets in. Ya know, they don't do much, they cry and they smell funny.

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

Kids are so perceptive... could be that she's picked up on the fact that you're pregnant, or that she wishes for a sibling because friends of hers have one, or she's at the perfect age where her creative thinking and imagination is exploding and she has created an imaginary friend. Any of these scenarios are ok and normal. Imaginary friends are usually a sign of a very creative child, and something that they grow out of. No need to worry Mama... just allow your little one to be herself.

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A.M.

answers from San Francisco on

An imaginary friend or sibling is fine. The great thing is, if she is so happy to have a sibling, you might be spared sibling rivalry, which will make your life easier.

As to when to tell her -- you decide. The only reason not to tell her, IMO, is in case for some reason this baby doesn't make it. But at 20 weeks, the baby is probably fine, so I think sure, tell her.

As far as your family being mad, well, that's going to happen at some time anyway, so you might as well face the music now.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Many children have imaginary friends and usually they are very intelligent and imaginative children.

My daughter wanted a sibling very badly all her life and picked out names and talked about what she would do with her little sister or brother.
It was a delicate situation because I was told I could never have children and she was a miracle in and of herself.
I told her that I knew we wished for a baby, but Mommy couldn't have one.
Nine years later, I got the surprise of my life. So did my daughter.
I got pregnant.

My point is that little kids pretend a lot of things and I've read your other post about your family's feelings about this pregnancy.
My advice is still the same.
You need to tell your family that their feelings aside, another baby is coming and they need to keep their opinions about it away from your daughter.
I wouldn't say anything to her until you have that worked out or tell your family she can't be around their negativity.
If your daughter is the type that will drive you nuts for the next 20 weeks (which is a super long time when you're pregnant with an impatient child), then I would put off telling her.
Her imaginary play is normal.
Don't read more into it.

I wish you the best.

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