In Home Daycare Vs. Babysitter at Home

Updated on May 01, 2010
M.B. asks from Romeoville, IL
11 answers

I am looking for opinions and or advice when it comes to choosing childcare. I am considering going back to work 2 days a week and am a nervous wreck about leaving my kids. My oldest will be in kindergarten for half of the day. My kids are 4 and 2. What have your experiences been with home daycare or babysitters coming to your house. Pros and cons to both?? Part of me leans towards the home daycare option because my 2 year old loves being with other kids and could use the activity, then I think she has never really been away from me and our home and how will she adjust to napping and being gone all day.
Also, how did you find the right person? I know there are sites out there and ways to find recommendations but in your gut/heart how did you trust a stranger with your children? My kids have never been left with a babysitter and having been home for 5 years makes this all the more difficult.
Thanks for all your thoughts and support!

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Moms have covered the pros & cons for both. One thing that can help is to talk to friends, neighbors who have children about their childcare situation and see if you can get referrals/references from them. It's always nice to get personal feedback from others. Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from Chicago on

I teach a special Parenting series (for blind and visually impaired parents) which uses a textbook, and one of the things that is suggested is leaving your kids with the babysitter briefly-essentially, practicing for you and for them. I had a sort of similar problem when my sons were young and they stayed with an inhome babysitter. She couldn't pick up my son from preschool or kindergarten as couldn't leave the other kids. On the other hand, I think if a provider works in your home, you have to pay their Social Security. And if you did have someone at your home, would you want her to do other things like cleaning besides taking care of your kids? I liked taking mine to an inhome person and was able to work out transportation from school with another parent from the class. It will for sure be an adjustment but could be good for all of you. Good luck. S.

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L.K.

answers from Kansas City on

OK, this has been a long time ago, but we did a little of both, but was thrilled with our babysitter that came to the house. BUT she was an amazing woman who sought out activities with other kids.
Our son (now 19) went to a facility. But as a nurse the hospital I worked at had an onsite place that was amazing. When our daughter came along I took her to a home daycare which happened to be a neighbor. I think it was OK, but she was in the process of opening her own center which she did.
That's where we found our sitter. She was in the "infant" room. I can't remember the conversation but made some off handed comment about if she ever wanted to come home with us let me know. She called me a few days later and asked if I was serious? I guess my neighbor was a witch to work for. We had her 4 years and it was wonderful! She had teen sons so she could talk the "boy talk" with our son and our daughter was the girl she never had.
I know we were very lucky and extrememley blessed!

Good Luck

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A.E.

answers from Chicago on

I have a 4 1/2 yr old and 17 mo old. We have had a sitter come to our home since my son was born...mostly for convenience because I previously had a long commute. I like the in-home option because I now work FT from a home office so I get to see my kids a lot more. It can be hectic but usually its fine.

I've recently started using an in-home daycare option for my backup sitter so my kids go there 3 hrs each week for consistency.

My younger one naps easily so she has done well sleeping at the sitter's house. My older child wasn't easy to fall asleep even at home for naps/bedtime so it would've been tough had I used a sitter's home daycare back then.

I found my primary nanny through our neighborhood association and the backup sitter through Sitter City. I did thorough reference checks on both and gradually transitioned my children to them. The external daycare person came to my house for the first month which helped ease my worries as well.

I was anxious about my first born while I was working downtown and I'm a little better this time around with my daughter. Plus, our nanny is more like an 'adopted grandma' than a sitter after so many years. I know her, her husband, her daughter, etc. Sitters definitely don't raise kids just like you will but I know my sitter loves my kids as if they were her grandkids and I treat her accordingly.

Good luck.

AE

M.L.

answers from Hartford on

If you have someone come to your home it will probably cost more but they are devoting their time to your children only. A daycare at someones elses home is more socialization but they are split between more than just your kids. It is easier for you kids to sleep in their own beds for nap etc. Interview each person, it is tough to trust a stranger that is why I work from home. I cannot trust anyone either. If you are interested in working from home I would love to help! Good luck!
M.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

we take our daughter to an in home daycare and she loves it. She has plenty of boys to play with (she's the only girl right now) and her day care lady does plenty of activities and stuff. it's hard to get her out the door in the morning, but it's also hard to drag her away from the fun at "miss clare's" at the end of the day. We were referred to her by my husband's step sister, who used to send her kids there.

Our first day care lady was also awesome, both of them have degrees in teaching, the first in kindergarten and special ed, the newest in early childhood education, so she's had a lot of learning activities at both.

However, we did have one in the middle, while the first was on maternity leave, who was awful. I hated taking her there but I didnt have a choice. For the last week, I ended up being able to take her to my mother in laws, because I didnt feel like she was taking good enough care of her. She came home with a bleeding diaper rash, which I'm sure was because her diaper wasnt being changed enough. Then she was telling me about another boy there who had one, and i was like, "hello! Take better care of these kids!"

Luckily, your children are old enough to tell you if something is wrong, my daughter was just under a year with the bad lady and couldnt talk, but she did cry every day when I dropped her off. With Jamie and Clare, she is/was happy to be dropped off, no crying, just hugs and kisses and "bye mommy!" Even when she was a tiny baby, it was harder for me than her, she had no problems. :-)

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A.C.

answers from Chicago on

Many years ago I was in the same place you are in; with the only childcare other than me was my sister. My friend, who was from Sweden, suggested someone from her hometown, and that is how I became involved with AuPairs. Since that day, they have been an integral part of our family, caring for my children, + nieces + nephews, and now I am working with the program myself. The AuPairs are great -- You will have the opportunity to meet about 25 of them in person and talk to them if you like in order to see the caliber of young people we attract, and you will get to know this person as a member of your family. If you want to know more check out my web sight.
http://cpeckat.aupairnews.com/
We have offices in more countries than any other agency, and more Au Pairs to choose from. If you have special interests or needs, it is possible we will have the perfect childcare provider for your children.

I liked the idea of letting my children have their own schedule, choosing the activities that were of interest to them, and not having to worry if they were sick.

Updated

Many years ago I was in the same place you are in; with the only childcare other than me was my sister. My friend, who was from Sweden, suggested someone from her hometown, and that is how I became involved with AuPairs. Since that day, they have been an integral part of our family, caring for my children, + nieces + nephews, and now I am working with the program myself. The AuPairs are great -- You will have the opportunity to meet about 25 of them in person and talk to them if you like in order to see the caliber of young people we attract, and you will get to know this person as a member of your family. If you want to know more check out my web sight.
http://cpeckat.aupairnews.com/
We have offices in more countries than any other agency, and more Au Pairs to choose from. If you have special interests or needs, it is possible we will have the perfect childcare provider for your children.

I liked the idea of letting my children have their own schedule, choosing the activities that were of interest to them, and not having to worry if they were sick.

Updated

Many years ago I was in the same place you are in; the only childcare other than me was my sister. My friend, who was from Sweden, suggested someone from her hometown, and that is how I became involved with AuPairs. Since that day, they have been an integral part of our family, caring for my children, + nieces + nephews, and now I am working with the program myself. The AuPairs are great -- You will have the opportunity to meet about 25 of them in person and talk to them if you like in order to see the caliber of these young people who you will get to know as a member of your family. If you want to know more check out my web sight. http://cpeckat.aupairnews.com/
I liked the idea of having my children be able to follow their own schedules and interests, and not having to worry if they are sick.

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D.G.

answers from Chicago on

Both ways have pros and cons. I first want to say the only way you can trust someone is your gut feeling about them, and "references, references, references." You need to hear from other moms that have recently used this person. Other moms are the key to making you feel comfortable with this person. I went to school for Early Childhood Development and I wouldn't trust anyone else without a degree in some type of child development, whether it is in elementary education or child psychology. I was a nanny throughout my college days and after, now I am staying home and doing the daycare thing while I watch my own kids. I love it and treat my house like a preschool. I right daily lesson plans, plus reports on development and progress every few months. We have themed weeks and fun field trips that go along with the themes. I love it and my kids get to make new friends too. I also was a nanny and there are amazing benefits to that too. Of course they will be more comfortable at home, but then again it is good for them to have new experiences. I will say this, a nanny is much more expensive, I could not ask for the same hourly rate as I used to when I was a nanny. I was making $12-$15/hour when I was a nanny, now I have moms that only want to offer me $4/hour as an in-home daycare. I would never take such a low offer, but I have heard that many in-home daycares are that cheap. I charge in the $8-$10/hour range. So your choice may come down to how much can you afford also. You can always check on sitter city, or go through an agency if you want the nanny option. I worked for an agency called Teacher Care when I was a nanny. I posted on Craig's list when I started the in-home daycare. Always look at the number of kids in the place if you go the daycare route. Don't pick a place with too many kids, then your child will get neglected. I have two kids of my own and would never take on more than two kids on top of that. I would want to be able to go to parks and be able to give personal attention to each child. Too many kids would prevent that. I hope this helped and good luck.

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H.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I've been on both sides of this dilemma as I was a Work out of the Home mom and I am now a daycare provider... what i can tell you from my experience is this:

1. You will know when you know and don't stop your search until you know. Find someone that maintains a home atmosphere similar to yours and shares the same values as you and you will be on the right track. When I interviewed providers for my daughter, I searched for a couple of months but knew the minute I walked into Wendy's door and talked with her that she was "the one"

I now am the provider and I look for that same connection with my families.

I wish you the best of luck.

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J.W.

answers from Chicago on

I chose home daycare - mostly because at the time my daughter was born, we had two Great Danes and, while gentle and friendly, I thought that was a lot to handle. Plus, I was nervous about having someone in my home. Home daycare worked for me because it had that home/nurturing environment and flexibility (I too work part time). My kids were able to socialize, become familiar with other people and be comfortable in a place other than their home. I got a list of state certified home daycare providers for the YMCA. I literally interviewed 40 over the phone and narrowed it down to my top 10 and went to visit/interview them. Much like choosing a college, you just get this gut feeling. I really connected with my provider - she had a wonderful care/discipline philosophies, her home was very clean and organized, the kids were wonderful. In my case, she was someone who used to be a daycare administrator (so she had degrees in childhood development) but when her daughter was born a preemie, she couldn't go back to work. She's been a home daycare provider for nearly 20 years. I love being part of a community (you really get to know the parents at pickup and dropoff) - for example, she organized for all of us to go see Ralph's World. That's my story :) Best of luck whatever you decide!

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

When I returned to work (Full time) following the birth of my first child, we were going to send him to Kindercare. The night that we took him there for an introduction (7 weeks old), our neighbor called and mentioned that her mother had lost her job and would be happy to take care of our son.

For the next 18 months, she cared for him in our house. It was great for the first year with a few issues, but it went down hill when we had to confront her on a few things.

When our daughter was born, we'd already decided to put both into a formal daycare for lots of reasons (socialization and structure - educational being primary).

Here were the great things about having someone come to your house:
1. One-on-One attention
2. More flexibility with when you had to leave/come home
3. Not having to bundle kids up in the winter, bring all their bottles/blankets, etc. to day care
4. Generally a little less expensive.

Here are the downsides:
1. You're stuck if they are sick or want to take a day off. Their vacations become your vacations.
2. Less exposure to other kids, socialization and formal instruction
3. Having someone in your house, eating your food, changing your thermostat, etc.

We've been EXTREMELY pleased with having both kids in a formal day care (state licensed) for the past 2 years now.

We looked at in-home, and we almost decided on one, but she didn't have a spot open for both an infant and a toddler. It's more difficult for kids to get the socialization/education that is age appropriate when 1 person is watching infants-10 year olds.

We have had 2 friends pull their kids (same ages as yours and mine) from in-home programs and put them into day care facilities in the past year. Though the caregivers were very loving and attentive, there were problems with some of the other children, the structure, the activities planned to engage and instruct kids on basic things like shapes, colors, numbers, etc.

I personally never cried when taking my kids to day care and going to work. I knew they were in good hands, and I was close enough by to see them/address anything (which we haven't had to do).

Good luck.

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