In Your Opinion Is This Rude?

As a mom of twins, I don't need two diaper genies. I do need tons of refill bags. I have three floors and still only work with one diaper genie. What I couldn't live without is a diaper caddy. Best diaper gift ever.

Honestly, if someone already got them what they registered for, I wouldn't get them another. I'd take it back and get something else.

My go-to gift is the Exergen temporal scanner. It's the thermometer you brush across the forehead. Many new parents don't know how to choose a good thermometer. It's the best on the market.

That's why they make gift receipts. And no, it's not rude. People buy things and don't mark them off the registry all the time, so doubles happen all the time. Don't worry about it and give it to her in front of everyone. Maybe you could put a little note on it like "Genie #2 for the #2 of #2." I don't know- something cutesy like that. :)

Please don't make the new mother of twins have to return it.

While you have justified that you don't have time, do you think she will? Even if she did have time to return it before they arrived, are you going to make her carry it back in her condition?

Return it, give a gift card if there is nothing left on the registry and send a personal gift at a later date :)

To me, a diaper genie is a total rookie request. They are such a gimmick. Better to use scented plastic bags to wrap your diapers to go out with the regular trash every day or two. Seriously, most people ditch the diaper genie before their kid is potty trained, or at least by their second kid. If these new parents come to the same conclusion that I (and others I know) did, they might be a little salty that they have TWO of these useless items. I would go buy a few boxes of diapers, they'll need 'em, they get expensive especially for doubles, they'll be singing your praises later. You can get these at any grocery store, shoot you can spend 15 minutes and buy then on the way to the shower. Then later, when YOU have more time to return it (because the new mom of twins won't, for a looong time) you can go get your refund. JMHO :)

I would exchange it. If they wanted two, they would have registered for two. Don't make the mom-to-be have to lug that thing around to return it herself or even decide which one she has to return. What makes this rude-ish is that you bought it knowing they need only one and that someone already bought it.

Return and get something else. You knew someone else got it. There is so much out there to get babies these days. Surely you can find something.
Also anyone I know who had diaper genies did not like them. A diaper in a Target plastic bag that goes in garbage works better because you throw out the garbage daily. Now they sell scented diaper disposable bags which are great.

I think that if they wanted two diaper genies, they would have registered for two. Do you have time to return it and get something else on the registry that's still available?

Rude? Not intentionally.
Either:
1. Return it now that you know it's a duplicate

Or

2. Give it. Enclose the gift receipt and leave it up for them to decide to keep or return for something else.

I do think the suggestion to "gift her with the refills and then quietly inform the Mom-to-be that I have another part of my gift in my car and inform her then why I purchased another O." plan is convoluted & odd! Lol

I have two daughters with 2 story homes and they both have an upstairs and down stairs diaper genie.

I'd wrap it and tell them its the upstairs diaper genie.

Good luck to you and yours.

Mama:

If you knew it was already purchased, I wouldn't have purchased a second one unless they registered for it. So, yeah, I think it would be rude to present her with a second one.

Personally? I would return it and get them something else. Offer to take her shopping after the shower and purchase something that she was afraid to ask for....or give her a gift card to Babies R Us - or where ever she registered and write in the note/card - this is for the stuff you didn't get at the baby shower....

Good luck.

I would get what they registered for. She registered for one. Why not get her refills and a gift card. If she wants to purchase another, she can. It's a HUGE pain to have to return so many things with a baby just about here. I had SO many duplicates and I had to return a lot of items. It was a tiring pain, and while I was incredibly thankful for every gift, it would have been so much easier...if people had just paid attention to the registry. We had so little time and we had to return everything, just to get the stuff we needed.

Rude? No, I don't personally think so. However, I think when in doubt, always refer to the registry. She registered for only one.

I just don't see how this is rude, especially considering your reasoning that she is having twins and could use one upstairs and one downstairs.

If your cousin doesn't want to keep both, she can always return one and exchange it for something else she needs for the babies. Just make sure to include the gift receipt for her.

I think your husband is over-thinking this whole thing. It's a baby shower--- definitely not something you should be stressed about! Let his comments go and move on to the next thing on your daily list!

I had a diaper genie with baby #1, and got rid of it. They will learn quick that they don't really want one, let alone two.

Knowingly purchasing a duplicate item isn't really rude, because your intent was not malicious. It is inconsiderate though. If you have time, take it back and buy something else off the list.

i have twins and i got myself a diaper genie which i never ever used.
so i would say one diaper genie is a bust, two...not needed.

What?? You knew she registered for one, and someone already got it, yet you went ahead and got another??? There was NOTHING on the registry that you could have gotten instead? What a pain in the butt to have to return one (or both) of the genies. Yes, it is awkward to get 2 of something when everyone knows the mother only registered for one. It makes you look clueless. PLUS I hated the diaper genie. It was disgusting and useless. Please go get her something useful from her registry tonight. I don't understand your rationale...would it take that much more time to get something she actually asked for than what you think she would like? Would that have taken like, 10 more minutes? Thank goodness you asked your husband, and us. If you can't get something else, make sure you give her the gift receipt.

I honestly agree with your husband. I would return it and get them something more special and personal, as you had originally intended. You might need to put in a little time before then, but I just think if I was the mom to be, and I got two, I would be a bit disappointed. Many people don't use them at all, we got one as a gift and returned it to the store, because refills were too expensive, and it seemed that the $$ could be better spent elsewhere. If you are determined to stick with the idea, then I would return the genie and buy more refills and maybe some other "baby basics" such as wipes, burp cloths, bibs, diapers, and give them as a gift basket of "Necessities".

Just my 2 cents.

There is nothing wrong with duplicating a gift. It happens all the time. And there is no reason to hide your gift in the car. She may very well say, "What a great idea! I wish I had thought of it, and I would have registered for two. Glad you knew what I needed even when I didn't!"
If not, she can return one and exchange for something else.

Not at all! If I had twins I would love to have two genies. Those little buggers can produce a lot of diapers. I think it's very thoughtful.

I think it is a little rude to the person who bought it first, and chances are at this point she will take one back anyways. If I had time I would return it myself and get her something else or a gift card. If she had wanted two she would have registered for two. JMO

Rude?? Nope...very thoughtful. You are thinking ahead..and thinking about havin 2 little ones while running up and down stairs. Nothing "rude" in that.

But...I personally would gift something else. I would get her something she actually put on her registry...and the Diaper Genie is already crossed off the list. Listen to your husband and the fact that you are second guessing yourself.

Just get her something else so that you can go to the shower without this looming over your head...or hiding your gift in the car to then give later without anyone noticing. That is just putting too much energy and worry into a fun and exciting time.

Again...I stress that you are being very thoughtful and thinking ahead to the craziness that is coming to your cousin with double diaper duty :)

Give the refills, they'll surely need those. Then either find something else on the registry that is kind of related (diaper bag ??) or get several items that you know they will go through quickly. Wipes, diapers (in various sizes), burp cloths, diaper cream, baby Tylenol, gas drops, etc. You could make a gift basket with a nice tote or basket that could be used in the nursery.

M

Totally not rude to give her something you think she can use two of.... but you may make the first giver feel like her gift is less useful than she thought. If you have time, I'd return it and get something else on the registry, but if you don't - I'd simply give the gift and don't worry. No need to explain that you saw it was already purchased and decided to buy another one - that would just make you look a little loopy.

Whatever you decide, make sure you include the gift receipt so that she can return the gift just in case.

I'd return it and get something else useful, baby monitor, a vibrating chair swing gift card. Then go to things remembered and get something there thar can be personalized

Accidental shower gift doubles happen all the the time, but it does make things awkward. Especially if you're the one who got the same gift as someone else and the other person's gift was opened first. Then when your gift is opened, the mom-to-be is always gracious but you don't get quite the same reaction.

Since you KNOW that yours is a double, I would do one of two things. Return the gift and give something else or give the refills and a gift card if time is short. You can purchase gift cards at the grocery store.

If your gift happens to be opened first, then the person who bought the Genie will feel bad when her's is opened second.

The third option is making sure yours is opened last, and then explaining that you didn't realize it had already been purchased until it was too late to take it back. You can suggest that it might be good to have one upstairs and down, and then offer to take it back yourself and present them with a gift card at a later date. At that time they can decide if they want two Genies or if they'd prefer you took it back for them. Then you aren't burdening them with returning the gift, but also offering them the option of keeping it.

I don't think it's rude, because it happens by accident all the time. It just happens you know about it in time to do something about it.

Not rude, I think it was pretty thoughtful for you to think of the reasons she would need two. Save the receipt she can always return it.

A nice, personal gift is a nice babies first Christmas ornaments, you can get online or at a gift shop. add it to your gift or give the ornaments as a second gift when you go see the baby.

OMG you people need to get out more. Duplicate presents happen all the time.

There are SO many factors involved when party guests give the same gifts. Some people don't ever check the registry. Some people might have ordered the same thing online.

The bride and groom just say thank you after they open the gifts and its up to them if they want to return something. They won't decide right at that moment in front of all the guests.

not rude. very thoughtful. she can return it if she doesn't agree.

It's not a huge deal, but if you can swing it, I'd probably take the genie you got back and grab something else. I wouldn't call it rude, just a little awkward with respect to the person who got it off the registry.

Hmmm... I don't think it's "rude", BUT I don't care for the awkward pause that sometimes happens when a duplicate gift is produced. I love your idea and thoughtfulness. I think your husband's suggestion of gifting the refills then telling her in private why is a good one as well. Just be prepared that she may not think it necessary and may return yours/one.

P.S. Thanks to you I'm getting a second one! :)

Give it to them and be sure to include a gift receipt. They can always take it back.

Personally, I think it's fine. If they have a 2 story home, that's a great idea. You could even put a note on it that says something like that specifically - like "Here's another genie, to weave it's 'nose-protecting' magic. One for downstairs, one for upstairs, it'll do the trick!"

I would return it and get a big pack of diapers with a gift card. Or include the gift receipt. You can bring her adorable outfits or something more personal after the babies are here. Another easy idea would be a gift card to a portrait studio so she can get those new baby pictures like to the picture people.

Now that I know they're already getting one, I'd probably return the item and get something else for them. Not because it might be rude, but because I just like to like to ensure they get something different.
But that's just me.
If you think its OK, then it should be OK. If you can't decide, toss a coin. :)

Not rude. The other guests will just think it's an accidental double gift - Like if someone got two of the same outfit or two of the same blanket... No big deal. You can explain your reasoning to the mother-to-be in private.

What do new parents of babies, especially
twins know? Your hubbys idea is great, allows the first giver, the shared applause, without knowing it, and affords the new parents diapering convenience... Use his tactful method, if they do not want it, include a gift receipt, how many of us, returned unneeded gifts for better suited new needs? We will survive this one...

Well, you could return it and get something else, or you could let them return it and get something else, although with newborn twins, I doubt they'll have the energy for that. To be honest, if I was the person who bought the other one, I'd feel a little undercut. I'm with your husband.

I think your husband's suggestion is very thoughtful and gracious. It's not necessarily a question of 'rude' perhaps, but he's right--- it would be kind of you to allow that other person who bought it first to get to shine a bit. When you tell her about the second diaper Genie on the QT, you could also let her know "I'm still not done looking for just the perfect thing for your babies" and then follow through when you have more time. They might love for the announcements to be framed or newborn pics to be mounted nicely... those opportunities will present themselves!

Not rude, but include a gift receipt, just in case they don't love it/use it as much as you.

If she wanted two, she would have requested two.

I don't think it's rude. BUT, I do think your husband's idea is a good one, but not because it's rude to give her another diaper genie in front of the other person.

However, I want to tell you that I never liked my diaper genie because it always smelled. I wouldn't have wanted two of them. If I were in your circumstances, I would quietly tell my friend to keep the receipt and wait to use it until they know they like the first one, and if they are happy only having one, to take yours back and exchange it for something they want.

Ideally, they will keep the other one upstairs. People throw their garbage away everyday from downstairs, and they could just throw diapers away downstairs instead of using a smelly diaper genie.

I think it's just according to how close you are to her...

I would go either your husband's route or include a gift receipt and a note explaining why the 2nd one. With twins, you are right, they will probably be setting up a changing area downstairs too so they are continuously having to run up and down the stairs with 2 babies. They don't poop in sync after all, so twins makes for a lot of extra trips to the diaper changing pad :)