M.S.
Hi MM,
I am a NICU nurse as well as postpartum nurse and mom to four daughters. I often help set up new mothers at home after preemies and mulitiples as well, help at them at home adjusting to life with a new baby or babies.
I can feel your frustration and it is VERY normal! Being a first time mom, I am sure your fears and worries are enormous at times. But, no fear, YOU can do this! You are in charge and a great mom already - so knowing what to do is half the battle.
I love your term "milk coma", that is SO true sometimes. But, that is where you have to take charge. You said he is 3 weeks old, so this is very common. It is important that he eat every three to four hours...and contrary to the old term "never wake a sleeping baby", you MUST! Newborns just want to sleep, that is all they know. YOU have to teach them (yes, I said 'teach' them). Once they get a little older and it is time they should be sleeping through the night (around 8-12 weeks) but as of now, you should be waking him every 3-4 hours to eat (unless he is a low birth weight preemie, then sometimes every 1-2 hours)
When it is time to eat, He will be 'dreamy', but you can just keep softly talking to him, change his diapers, rub his feet, etc. to keep him awake during feeding. He will be 'gungho' at first, probably sucking down the first ounce but probably start his 'milk coma' as you said after that, because sucking can make him tired...and since he has 'snacked' a little, he will want to go back to sleep. You just have to keep urging him, wiggle the nipple back and forth in his mouth and keep coaxing him. I am assuming he is eating around 3 to 4 ounces right now. I try would burp after the 2nd ounce. Sometimes babies are easy burpers after a few seconds or minutes, others are a little harder to coax. If after 5 minutes or so, try another 1/2 ounce and then try again. But, keep burping, or like you said, the vomiting will occur.
There are many ways to burp. 1)Hold him upright on your knee, he will be in a sitting position with your left hand on his stomach and neck/face to keep his head up. Pat him firmly on him back, starting from top to bottom, working your way down and working that burp up. And, yes, sometimes you feel like you are beating him, but firmly is the answer. 2)Some babies like the 2nd method (and most grandmothers) is the 'over-the-shoulder' method. Or, 3) You can place him on his tummy on your lap and firmly pat him that way, putting pressure on his tummy will force the burp that way. Try them all and find which one works for you and your little one. The first method really works the best for the 'milk coma' ones, as it makes them wake up a bit and keeps them moving more to wake them up. And, yes, it may take a little while at first, and sometimes a 30 to 45 minute feeding happens, but it won't last long, I promise.
Night time feedings are the hardest it seems. But, the best method is the "in and out" method. Get 'in', get the job done and then get 'out'! ;-) Keep it dark quiet. After he wakes (or you wake him) change his diaper first, this will wake him up a bit so he'll be eager to eat. No talking or anything but get straight to work. If he starts to fall asleep after that first ounce, gently move the nipple in his mouth, rub his feet and keep on to urge him to get to that 2nd ounce. Burp, then finish the bottle. Burp again and put right to bed.
I promise, 'this too shall pass' and he will be 4 weeks old, then 5 and then 6 and each week will bring new joys and a few new challenges. But, YOU CAN DO IT!