Infant Not Taking Bottle for Sitter

Updated on September 05, 2008
M.S. asks from Oviedo, FL
12 answers

I guess I need to be more detailed on my request. We have a 6 1/2 mo old daughter. I am home with her in the mornings and have a sitter come in the afternoons 2-3 days a week so I can go to the office. We have all been doing great with breastfeeding, pumping, and bottle feeding. Just last week our daughter would not take the bottle for the sitter all afternoon. Nothing has changed with our schedule and she has been with the same sitter with no previous problems. She nurses in the morning 3-4 times and before last week would usually take 2 bottles of breastmilk in the afternoon while I was at work and then will nurse again 2-3 times in the evening. Since she didn't eat during the afternoon, I walk in the door and all she wants to do is nurse to make up for the afternoon. She is also teething. I realize that now is also the time where a baby will start with separation anxiety. Does anyone have any suggestions or insight for me?

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P.E.

answers from Panama City on

Offer the bottle, if it is not wanted, she's not really hungery. She can live with out it. Let her wait when you get home,

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K.W.

answers from Orlando on

How long is she with the sitter?
Babies will eat when they are hungry--but they will nurse for other reasons too (like comfort).
She is nursing a lot with you..for nutrition and her age--she only needs 4--maybe 5 feedings in a 24 hour period--about every 3-4 hours during the day. There are may benefits to doing this--giving her meals vs. snacks--especially since you need to empty your breast to get the very nutritious hind milk. Regardless though--if you are nursing that much, it's not only for nutrition--it's for comfort--so if she is with the sitter less than 4 hours--she may not need the nutrition or be hungry, which is all the bottle gives her- so she just doesn't want to eat--
Also have you introduced solids yet? (I know most do it around 6 months)--this too will also decrease the amount she takes from the bottle/breast.

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C.C.

answers from Orlando on

A huge part of feeding time is snuggle time. This is one of the very huge reasons for breast feeding (along with the health benefits of course) -- with a bottle it's real easy to prop the bottle and baby and go on about your business; with breast feeding..... see what I'm saying?? She loves you and wants to be close to you: you are her mom.

I worked part time for a short while during my second child's infancy, and she was like your baby: she refused to eat until I got there, and then as soon as I walked in the door she suddenly became famished. I think you will find that it is fine to let her wait for you -- although you might want to have the sitter offer her some water (my daughter was not as thrilled with the water as she was with my breast, but I thought it was important to at least offer her the option of not being dehydrated!!)

Also, as she is getting older her eating frequency will change just because she is getting older. And typically babies take an afternoon nap... so it looks like you are doing well with your scheduling in order to coincide with her needs.

Just plan that as soon as you come in you attach the baby to your breast ;-) and just look forward to that (like she does) as a special time to unwind and reconnect. She's very lucky that she gets that special as-soon-as-you-walk-in time: think of the average working mom who comes in exhausted and drained.

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C.K.

answers from Jacksonville on

Hello M.
I too went through a similar situation. By accident we found that my daughter would take my pumped breast milk from a cup and didn't care for it warmed up, just cold from the fridge. She never took to a bottle so when going back to work I was stressed that she wouldn't get enough to eat but in the end it worked out. Though if she's teething it could be as much a comfort thing for her and that's why she waits for you when you arrive home.
I hope things resolve for you and your little one
Take care
C.

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L.H.

answers from Miami on

There's a
'milk calculator' at www.kellymom.com
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/milkcalc.html#calculat... you can figure out how much exactly baby needs in a bottle when you are breastfeeeding.
4x a day at 6 & 1/2 months old doesn't sound like a lot/enough to me?

anyway, she will not starve missing those 2 feedings but you are right she will need to make up for it when you get home. maybe just ride it out and see what happens? nurse her as soon as you get home and then one more time to 'make up' for the missed afternoon sessions? see if she gets back to the bottle? I would not give her a bottle your own self- that seems redundant to me since you have your breasts to offer. however, you might want to have your husband (or someone else) offer a bottle to keep her used to taking a bottle a day.

I would also start w/ sippy cups of water to get her used to a cup. she might be one to drink from a cup- try a straw- try Nuby soft spout- try different kinds...

good luck! ENJOY that baby & keep on breastfeeding :-)

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S.M.

answers from Miami on

Hi, M.. It sounds like your daughter is just going through a rather normal response to your going back to work, including separation anxiety. You have good instincts on that.

I personally did not go back to work until after I stopped nursing, but I had friends who did, and they all had similar things happen with their babies and toddlers. Baby didn't want the bottle when they were gone, and mostly ate when Mom was around in the early morning and at night. All these babies were healthy and well-fed, although their eating schedules seemed a little strange until they grew out of this phase.

So don't worry -- your daughter will NOT starve herself. Babies her age cannot handle being hungry for any length of time. Maybe when you introduce some solid food to her, she will be willing to take that from the sitter, since it does not involve the intimiate contact she is used to from nursing and bottle feeding. You might have your sitter start her on solids such as mashed up banana or cereal, not as a serious sort of meal, but as an alternative to waiting for you to feed her. Chances are, once she tastes that yummy banana, she will want to eat some of it, and if she doesn't associate it with missing you, she might feel comfortable taking it from the sitter.

Once she starts eating a little bit with the sitter, you might try giving her the same treats, but let her get established that you nurse her and the sitter gives her solid food. I think she's trying to express the fact that she KNOWS the difference between the two of you, which is a normal developmental milestone for her age, but this understanding is still new to her, and she needs to get accustomed to it. So it won't hurt at all if she eats different things with each of you.

Trust me. When she is hungry enough, she will eat. Also, while she is teething, her eating habits can be off. She can get a little feverish, and even though she wants to chew, she may not want to eat very much because the teething makes her feel sort of like she has the flu. She may even get a sore throat from the extra saliva and mucous she is swallowing due to the irritation in her gums. Be patient with her changing eating habits, do not make a big issue out of when she eats or doesn't eat, and then when the major teething is over, she will probably eat in a more normal fashion again. But don't stress out over it, or she will learn to use this against you when she is trying to feel more powerful (the terrible twos are coming soon!). If she feels she can use eating to control you, she will do so. Also, making big emotional issues out of food and eating will set her up for problems later on in life such as overeating or anorexia. You definitely don't want to do that.

Even though it may seem alarming that your daughter clings to you the minute you walk through the door, this is actually a good sign that you have a strong bond with her. She looks forward to seeing you after you get home, and she wants to make up for lost time. What could be better than that?

It sounds like she is making the adjustment just fine in her own way. Remember that HER understanding and coping with these changes in her life (you working, dealing with a sitter, changes in eating patterns, the pain and general discomfort of teething) are going to be VERY different from how you understand and cope with them. Try to see these things from her point of view, and help her deal with them on her level.

It sounds like you have it under control. Welcome to the universe of constantly unfolding surprises that is motherhood!
( :

Peace,
Syl

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K.A.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

My dd was similar at about 7-8 months (when she started teething) and our solution was to switch to a sippy cup at daycare. It turned out she just didn't want the bottle anymore. Once we figured it out, it helped that she wasn't so hungry when I picked her up, but night nursing became more frequent during teething bouts. Good luck.

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P.M.

answers from Miami on

M., your baby misses you while you are gone and is content to wait. This is a nice thing. Don't worry about the bottle, she does not need milk while you are gone and is happy to wait for you to return. Her nursing is more than food, it is "hello mommy, i missed you and am so happy you are back now" and at the same time she protects your milk supply. Plus, you are only gone a few hours a few days a week, so she makes up what she misses when she is home with you too. Your sitter can play with her, offer her a small amount of solids if she is really hungry, and just not wanting a bottle when she wants the real thing. And, whatever you do, do not limit her time at the breast to some number of feedings per day that someone says is all she needs. It is not true that babies at this age need less feedings. Breast milk is their first food for the first year and they continue to need to have access to the breast as they determine, not us. We have no way of knowing how much milk our babies are taking, and we do best and so do they when we allow them to control their own feeding times. We ask adults to eat at least 6 small meals a day to keep blood sugar balanced, it makes sense babies are not adults and need even more frequent feedings in their much smaller tummies. The baby who is allowed to control for caloric intake, and offered solids at the appropriate age, and allowed to decide when to eat and whent to stop is the child who has healthy eating behavior.

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T.B.

answers from Miami on

Breastfed babies breastfeed for two reasons: (1) nourishment and (2) comfort. Your baby is not getting "comfort" from an artificial nipple, especially since you've indicated that she is teething. My daughters nursed MORE when they were sick and/or teething. Perhaps your sitter can "cuddle" with your daughter before offering the bottle to her. She would do this by holding her close to her body, like if she was going to nurse but she gets the bottle instead. I babysat for my friends baby when he was 2 months old and only nursing. When I had trouble with him taking the bottle from me, I figured I'd try holding him closer to my body and then he took the bottle just fine. Many people hold a baby away from them when they are holding a bottle. Breastfed babies like to feel close...maybe this will remedy the situation. Good luck.

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T.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

Babies are so much smarter than we give them credit for. i once read an article that a lady wrote about how her daughter would not eat the whole time she was at work, an 8 hour slot. But when she was with her she would nurse non stop to make up for it. Babies are smart, they know that they want the real thing. My dughter did this too. She started refusing the once or twice a week bottle at about 4 months. At 6 1/2 months she is able to go longer between feeding and may just want to sleep during this time and wait till you get there. How long are you gone? 6 hours? That would really only be one feeding. Is she eating solids? Cereal? That will fill her even more. My daughters were taking a sippy cup at this age. So I would get the sitter to try that with the breat milk. Is her fussy and miserable at the sitters? Then she is hungry and you both need to find a way to get something in her before you get there. If it keeps up just let her nurse more while you are together. Sometimes a feeding schedule goes out the window with breastfeed babies.

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A.S.

answers from Indianapolis on

Teething should not have anything to do with not taking the bottle.
Will she take a bottle from you? You might start to give her a bottle once in the morning so she is comfortable with getting a bottle.
The only other thing I could say is that she's just not comfortable with the babysitter. If she could come over early one morning so you both could give her a bottle she would understand (slowly) that it's okay.
Once she gets her routine it will be just fine.

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J.S.

answers from Miami on

Start wearing a soft perfume when you breast feed. Then allow your sitter to wear it also when she bottle feeds. Both of you put a soft thin blanket over the babys face while he/she is eating. When the sitter bottle feeds she needs to hold the bottle close to her body as if she were breast feeding and hold the baby the same way. This helps but does not always work.

Then there is the idea that you could pump and completely switch to using a bottle.

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