My husband and I have always talked about having another child. Our first two children are 2.5 yrs apart and I think in an ideal world we would have kept on that pace. However, we've just now reached the place where we feel ready and able to have another baby... and we are both wanting it. We have also just hit a different milestone- in that our youngest is heading to kindergarten. For the first time in years, we are out of the baby and toddler phase and entering a completely new era for our family. This is the main thing worrying us and holding us back from trying to get pregnant. Have we somehow forgotten how difficult it is to have a little one at home? If we have a baby now, will it take away from our ability to enjoy our older kiddos and their activities? Will it be an easy transition because we are going into it with experience and eyes wide open? Or, incredibly difficult because we didn't realize how good we had it being able to sleep through the night, being through with diaper changes, naps, nursing, and potty training? How will it impact our family? Would be interested in hearing about the experience of others who have waited 5 years before having another baby. Thanks so much for sharing.
We have a new addition to our family. So far, so good! Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts / experiences.
There is nine years between my middle two. They adapt.
I can say I did forget why it was that I had two for so long but still, given the choice again I would do it again.
When my third child was born my other 2 were 8 & 5.
Having a newborn or another child really didn't slow us down at all.
We went to Disneyland when she was 17 days old, we went to Legoland before she was 6 weeks old, we went to the San Diego Comic Book Convention when she was 6 weeks old and one of those days included a Wiggles concert so we went to con then left early to go to the concert. We went to a 4th of July party when she was 20-odd days old. I continued to home school the older 2.
We just went on with our lives and adapted. The boys were fine. They were even helpful. They are insanely protective of their little sister.
I got the sleep I needed when I could. The boys would work on an assignment or watched TV or something so I could cat nap. They didn't burn the house down.
By the time we got to 3 everything was muscle memory anyway. We didn't let anything stop us from doing all the things we always did. Babies travel, I had a sling and/or stroller to carry them around in, grab some diapers and wipes, all 3 of mine slept where ever we were because they were used to always being on the go so we weren't tied down to naps at home.
I could not imagine my life without my 3!
I have 3 girls - 15, 7, 10 months. The older girls LOVE the baby and can't wait for another sibling. It's almost like she's "our" baby. The two older girls were there when she was born (not intentional, everything move very, very fast - lol). I think there's bond seeing her born and holding her all yucky and stuff :-) I also think the more kids you have the less perfect everything can be. I let my 7 year dress herself and do her hair - something I wouldn't have done before, lol. I think I'm less stressed about everything and I'm truly happier.
My oldest is in sports we are all there, baby and all. It was never a second thought. We are way more active with the baby than we were with the others - I just put her in a carrier and away we go, hiking, fishing, whatever. It helps she's such a good baby. I volunteer at my 7 year olds school and baby and I are there (somethings I can't bring her but when appropriate). I found a stroller that's bigger than an umbrella but small than a big one if that makes sense that I use instead of an umbrella and it stays in the trunk and that's what I use when I have to go to the schools, or quick trips in a store -way easier that carrying her or getting out a big stroller (mines pretty big).
I will say I notice I'm more tired with this one, I notice the lack of sleep at night (well before she was sleeping through the night, every once in a while she'll get up at 430 - seriously??). I think I was more tired with the last pregnancy.
Although it was my best and easiest pregnancy and delivery. I will also say I enjoy her more (maybe because I'm older and she could be my last), but I love nursing her even now at 10 months!! I enjoy her being her more so then I remember with the other two. I love getting up in the am and wondering why the baby's not up and find my 7 year is in her crib with her comforting her.
We are looking to have another (not preventing, but not "trying", if it happens it happens type of thing) and I'm worried about them being so close but I don't have time to wait (I'm 38)!!
I say do it - you won't regret it!
We have two children 5 yrs apart. It was great to watch my older daughter hold the baby and really enjoy him and play with him. It was also nice that she was fairly independent and not very needy. For me, one needy kid is all I can handle at a time. Luckily, he was a lot easier to deal with as a baby than she was... and I felt a lot more comfortable with all the baby care the second time around. I did miss the sleep, but that passes after a while. And he was a lot faster to potty train and to walk... I think the younger ones are motivated by their older sibs a lot. Like anything else, you adjust your life around the baby, and it's no biggie. With such a big age gap, though, they both have that "first born" personality, if you know what I mean. They both have gotten a lot of attention, especially in the early years. Looking back, overall, I'd have to say it wasn't that big of a disruption to our family life. And we wouldn't be the same without him.
I'll start with my kids age's, you can see how close some are, then you can see the huge age gap. They are 21, 20, 20, 19, 11, 8, 6 and 2. As you can see there is 8 years between the older set and younger set...or as my husband calls them; the first litter and second litter lol
We had the same concerns when deciding to have #5, but for me it honestly wasn't that hard to get back into baby mode. Sure there were times where having a baby made things difficult but overall being older did made things a little easier.
The older kids also love being older siblings. the dynamic is different, but I really like it.
People have children at all sorts of intervals and make it work for them and for their families. My hubs has a brother 18 months younger, and a sister 11 years younger. They did alright.
Personally, with our DS just under two, I marvel at how parents manage more than one, much less three or more.
Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.
My first was 5 yrs and 2 months old when i had my second baby. She was very excited to have a baby sister and thankfully she was an awesome baby. Slept through the night rarely cried. Didnt chnge things for us too much. The third child is what made things harder.
Adding a baby to the mix deffinately changes things, makes things harder, you are starting over in a way.
But if thats what you want then do it.
my 3 are only a year apart. I WISH I had them farther apart. I am not much help, but I think till you do it both ways with more than 3 or 4 its really a personal choice. I think I may have one more but I am going to wait till my son is at least in pre-school. I dont mind starting over. I would actually find that fun! 2 of my kids got all the handme downs and I dont want to give it to another, that far in the future.
Our oldest son was 4yo when baby brother was born. I think it is a great age difference. The boys get along, for the most part. :) Big brother takes good care of and looks out for little brother. We had a good stretch of quality solo time with #1 before #2 came along. #1 can even remember when it was just the three of us and remembers when brother was born! I love that. Now that #1 is in 1st grade, #2 is getting a good chunk of quality solo time also. He idolizes big brother.
As for DH and I...yes, it did kinda feel like we were starting over. Lots of things were getting pretty easy - no diapers, minimal baggage, booster seats, independance, etc. But #2 is such a sweet, cuddley, easy, happy kid. And the first two years FLEW by! Gone in a flash! Kinda sad, actually. I can't imagine not having him in our lives...or our older son's life.
Life is good!
My three children are all four years apart. Yes it was difficult at times with such a big age difference as the oldest had so many activities. We went straight from the hospital to a soccer game for my oldest. It was even more difficult when the oldest was thirteen and the youngest five as so many 13 year old activities are late into the night. We had many babysitters for an hour or two a night so that my youngest could go to bed and we could go to the activities of the older ones. It does work out but personally I think if your family is working well the way it is leave it alone. The third one really puts a kink in things in my opinion (not that I would ever give back my third but what you don't have you don't miss.)
Great news in wanting to add one more to the family. We had our baby (now 16 mons) when our youngest was four. And I will agree with your worry of time with your other kiddos. Not sure how many you have but adding just one to an existing two was and remains hard. A new one takes so much more time and energy. It is getting easier, sleeping through the night, less diaper changes, he walks etc. but we struggle to give one on one time to each child. With that said, I wouldn't change it if I could. I know it will get easier the older the baby gets and we adjust into a good rhythm with each milestone. The 4 yr old is starting school next week and the baby is only more and more cute everyday. He is truly the cutest baby so far :)
Mine are 11 years apart. So far so good. The oldest is a huge help. All though it was a quick reality check at how hard it really is with the little ones lol.
My 3rd child is 4.5 years younger than my 2nd, so not quite the same age difference, but close. My oldest was 7.5 years old when the baby was born. We tried for more than a year to get pregnant; my babies have all been the result of fertility drugs and consciously trying to conceive. My two daughters had been asking me for a baby brother or sister for years! My little son was finally born and it has been great! It has changed our lives; I quit my job and waited until he was 2 to go back to college, if not for my son I would be taking full time classes instead of just one per semester. It is also kind of hard on him when both of his big sisters are at school all day, he misses them. But the positives outweigh the negatives! My daughters have been wonderful big sisters and I even feel like my husband and I are better parents because of our baby boy, he reminds us to slow down a bit, to laugh and have fun as a family. His birth was the easiest and best I’ve had, it was totally un-medicated so it wasn’t painless or anything, but it was perfect. I felt like I really knew what I was doing as a mom (so much more than when I had my first!) and I really took the time to cherish his babyhood. Not that I didn’t cherish my daughters as babies, but when they were little I kept looking forward to the next step of their development, with my son I finally learned how to just enjoy here and now. He hardly cried at all for the first 3 or 4 months of his life, he was just so well loved and cared for by his parents and his big sisters! He is now 2.5 years old and we have had no sibling rivalry with his sisters, they never are jealous of him and seldom lose their tempers with him, he is “their” baby after all. I find myself wishing that he could just stay little so that our family could always have a baby! He is growing up to be very independent and confident; he keeps asking to go to school! I wouldn’t change a thing about the timing of his birth; I believe that everything worked out the way that it was supposed to. Best of luck with having your own 3rd baby!
I had a 2 yo, 1 yo, and newborn. Loved it. Planned that way. Then a miscarriage when youngest was 15 months. Fourth was born when youngest was four. It was so different. We enjoyed her in a very different way. By the time you have four, you just learn to let everything roll off your back. We were glad it worked out this way, but is a very personal choice
My first two children are 16 months apart. We had our third child when they were 6 & 5 years old. My youngest is now 3 years old. It was an adjustment after he was born but the sleepless nights only lasted 6 months. We are limited to our activities. We like to attend college football games and movies or golfing with our older sons but our youngest is just too young to sit still for a long time at this stage. So we split up and my husband takes our two oldest and I do other things with the baby. We are looking forward when he is at an age when he would enjoy doing those types of things with us.
There are other things we do that he absolutely does with us. We enjoyed vacations together, bike riding and camping. But he is awoken from naps early to go to practice and has to sit through his brothers activities. He is an amazing addition to our family and is loved dearly by his brothers. I do not regret our decision to have one more at all. Good luck with your decision.
