I have been a single mom for most of my 15 year olds life, and we have a stellar relationship. I found out this weekend she is posting what can best be called "Fantasy Smut" original stories on a Fan Fiction website, and reading the same. We have had numerous discussions about internet safety. She does not go to "chat rooms" or use her real name,etc. Should I block these sites from her access or what action should I take?
Thank everyone so much for your response. We are going out for pizza tonight and I am going to talk to her AGAIN about the dangers of the internet. The site she has posted one of her stories on has a very weak disclaimer saying if you are not 18 do not enter...like that will dissuade anyone, right? And to be fair, the writing is good, but surprisingly full of smut that she must have gleaned out of *other stories*. Harlequin's are one thing, but soft porn is a completely different thing. Thanks again to everyone! ;0)
Fan Fiction can be the most wonderful thing but there is a ratings system just like movies. Most of the sites with explicit content warn away those under 18. It's just self expression and that's lways a good thing, as long as she stays away from NC-17 ratings she'll be fine- I do however reecommend requesting to read her stories. SO you can get a feel for what she's writing about AND she'll feel like you're interested in her work
I am just 21 years old now, and I remember like it was yesterday, my mom telling me about what should and should not be done on the internet. I knew I didn't want it taken from me, so I did what she asked. (Also the computer was in a public room, so it would have been hard for me to do anything anyway) I don't know how your computer is set up, but if it's a laptop, you should have her in a public area of the house to have her internet time, and also you can password protect, so that she cannot even turn the computer on if you are not there. IF you have a desktop and it's in a "computer room" or office, have her leave the door open so she is in view anytime you want to take a peak. I think it's great that she enjoys writing and may even do it well. You don't want to discourage something she enjoys and with a GPA like that (I wasn't a star student), I would assume she has a good head on her shoulders. Give her the benifit of the doubt.
J. - I'm with Lynda on this one. If you are not comfortable with it, then block it, but explain why. She may not like it, but remember who is the parent. If you feel uncomfortable about it there is probably a reason why - trust your gut! You will probably make other decisions she won't like either in life - but as I said - you are the parent and the responsibility is yours.
The fact that everyone is 'okay' with reading romantic novels is great - but just remember what gets put in your head stays there forever.
15 year olds do not need to be reading, writing, or have any thing to do with that type of website. If she is interested in writing there are plenty of websites she could write original stories for that don't require sex and smut. I would talk to her about what you are going to do and what you expect out of her and then block the websites. She may not go to chat rooms and she may not use her real name, but if she was not open with you about writing on this website and you just happened to find out then your relationship with her may not be as good as you think it is. Those types of sites usually have links to chat rooms, and to other pornographic sites that you would definitely not want your daughter involved in, so I say take the very careful road and block it all.
What teenager hasn't read Harlequen Romances. The scary part is that on the internet it can go much further, quickly. I would require that she allow you to monitor he internet sites and what she is writing. That way you can stop it at anytime.
But as long as you have told her the REAL dangers and don't sugar coat it.
Sadly, an open relationship and book smarts don't equal common sense. 15 is just too young for that kind of thing, and if she is reading other people's material, she is absorbing other people's ideas. If she needs an outlet to express her sexuality or just creativity, try letting her write in a journal. There are just too many predators on the net, I wouldn't feel safe even under a false name. Talk to her and she if she can come up with an alternative. Also, it is illegal in most instances for someone under the age of eighteen to to be on sexually explicit websites. Good luck!
I think that you should definitely talk to her so she understands why it is wrong and that you should block it but make sure that she understands why you are blocking it.
WELL WHAT U CAN DO IS KINDA SCARE HER WITH MOVIES ABOUT LITTLE GIRL THAT DOES THAT STUFF BUT DON'T BLOCK IT B/C SHE CAN GO TO HER GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE WHOS MOM MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW WHAT THEY R DOIN BUT IF THAT DON'T WORK TRY NOT TO BE HER FRIEND BUT TO BE HER MOM B/C SOME PARENTS THINK THAT THEY CSN BE THEIR DAUGHTERS FRIEND BUT U CAN'T I'M NOT SAYIN DON'T BE HER FRIEND BUT SHOW HER ATTENTION LIKE A MOTHER AND SHE MIGHT JUST BE LOOKIN FOR ANOTHER PART OF HER LIFE A MAN FIGURE WHAT U THINK BUT JUST TALK TO HER I KNOW A LITTLE ABOUT THIS I AM JUST A FEW YEARS OLDER THAN SHE IS I LIVED WITH MY GRANDMOTHER I DIDN'T HAVE NEITHER ONE OF MY PARENTS IN MY LIFE SO JUST TRY THAT TECHNIQUE
I checked out the website. It seems alot like story lines for video games. If she isn't hiding anything from you and she lets you in on what sort of stuff she writes about then I don't see a problem with this site.
i am 24 yrs old, so not too long ago i was a teenager. the thing is if you keep her from doing it at home, she may just go some where else and do it, but if you block them in your home, atleast you can control what she is doing under you roof. my advice is take to block them. and try to be patient with her being a teenager these days is VERY hard. and do whatever you can to show her that you're doing it for her own good. even if she doesn't believe you right now. GOOD LUCK.
ABSOLUTELY block the sites!! She's in puberty right now and experimenting with her sexuality which is totally normal BUT you have to monitor it carefully. Without guidelines she could unintentionally explore too much meaning she could push the envelope out of curiousity and some other person pushes back. Monitor, monitor, monitor. It's extremely common these days for teenagers to engage in oral sex, internet sex and same sex relationships. You have to know your daughter well and talk to her about these things. Tell her the differences between normal and flat out slutty. A 15 year old can explore her womanhood without trading in her morals. If it's attention she wants,which it is, that kind of attention could really backfire in her face and you want her to remember her teen years with pride. I'm not saying she's acting in a disapproving manner but now that you know what she's up to I'd nip it in the bud before it goes any further. Educate her, talk to her and remember this is a part of growing up. She seems bright. Right now what she needs is the guidance from you so that she doesn't do anything she's going to regret. Be strong and good luck!
I think that you should just talk to her and ask her about the site....if she isnt trying or doesnt try to hide it from you, then it is probably ok. Also, if that is the worse she does, then you are doing really well! I have never been to that site so I dont know what it is like...but as long as it is appropriate and not vulgar or anything like that---then let her do it...:P
It looks like she's a careful kid and listens to you. I think that it's like reading romance novels, like some of us do. I wouldn't encourage the behavior but the more time she has for writing, the less time she has to do anything bad.
