I have been trying to prepare my 2.5 DD for her new baby sister to arrive. I am scheduled for a c-section on the 22nd and I am having a little anxiety with the thought of bringing baby #2 home. My anxiety stems from her attachment to me because her dad has to work a lot. I am a working mom so she goes to daycare during the day then she is with me all evening. She seems to be going through a stage of clingyness right now anyway and I'm worried that the new baby is just going to put it hyper mode.
I plan on continuing to send Daughter #1 to daycare while I stay home with #2 so as to keep her schedule as normal as possible. I have prepared her by talking to her about all the new gadgets that she sees around the house like a baby swing and a baby bouncer and the new carseat sitting next to hers. I talked with her about how Avery (baby sisters name) with be sleeping in our house. ( she tends to think about the people that live in the house as those who sleep there). and we discussed the changing table and the bottles and all.
I guess I just need some encouragement that I will have enough love for the both of them and that my child won't be completely scarred by the experience of a new sister. Help me experienced parents!!!
Thanks
K.
Thank you for all your encouraging words....they have really helped me. My husband just thinks I am being hormonal haha. I feel more emotionally prepared thanks to all of you :).
In a little more than 24 hours I will get to meet this little one who has been beating me up from the inside haha.
Thanks again
Buy her a "real life" baby doll and all the accessories that come with it. Show her how to feed, dress, and change it. That way she will mimic how you take care of Avery. Getting siblings involved in the process from the start is a good way to minimize sibling rivalry.
Congratulations!
K.,
You have lots of good advice here but I wanted to add my own. When my second daughter was born my oldest was 25 months old and dad was deployed repeatedly. I had help of grandparents for the first 2 months but after than I was on my own for a while. I felt so guilty and sorry for #1 that I pretty much gave her everything that she wanted, when she wanted it and how she wanted it. I was just trying to survive. Needless to say that this created a difficult toddler! It has taken years to get over the expectation of mom doing everything for her....still working on it and she is 11!
Bottom line: Don't let your guilt/worry interfere with your parenting! #1 will adjust and cope and your family will be fuller because you have added to it!
Blessings to you and your family!
It will all be fine! My twins were 2.5 when my daughter was born in June. They took to her right away (also a working mom). I just made sure to spend quality time with them when the baby was sleeping. This helped prevent any resentment. Good luck!
I remember the night before I was scheduled to be induced with my 2nd DD, I layed in my oldest daughter room and just cried. I kept thinking, "how will I ever love this baby as much as I do my 1st". The answer is......you just do! And when the 3rd came along, I had just as much love for him. That is what is great about motherhood. There is enough love for ALL to be loved equally. Your oldest will love being the big sister and getting to help out. Don't worry, it will all work out wonderfully!!!
Congratulations! Prayers for you and your family for a wonderful "birthday" Wednesday!
It will be great! My kids are 2 years and 1 week apart! In fact my son was born on my daughter's due date...points for consistency?! ;) It sounds like you're doing all the right things so far. My daughter was beside herself with joy when her little brother came home, so I'm sure yours will too. Some ideas would be to 1. take big sis shopping for some sort of small present she can buy the baby and then have her bring it to the hospital when she comes to visit. 2. put together some sort of bag or box of new and special toys that she can do by herself for when you need to feed the baby. Whether you're breast feeding or bottle feeding, this will come in handy!! I actually bought a small canvas bag from Michael's and my daughter and I puffy painted it with her name, etc. Then I filled it with new books, a magna doodle, some stickers, stuff like that. I only pulled it out when I was feeding him and she played with her stuff right there next to us. My daughter was extremely clingly with me as well and honestly, it couldn't have gone better! It's hard to imainge now, I know, but it will be awesome! Congrats!
When my third child, first daughter was 2years old her sister was born and she was such a help me to getting diapers and doing little things she could help with, or feel like she was helping with. She loved her sister from day one and I think when another one comes it just multiplies your love. If you let her know you love Avery like you love her she will see that this is someone to love too and won't feel like it's anything other than a normal part of life. Don't act like there would even be a reason she wouldn't be happy and want to share your love. Talk about how she will be her friend and they can share toys, etc. and make it sound exciting as it will be.
My Son was 20 months when we had our second. He seemed to know from the start that this baby was his family. There was some jealousy, but I found most of my fears had been completely unfounded. What we did to help prepare was get him a baby doll and worked on the nice ways to touch baby, and how not to handle baby, using the doll.
I had some of the same fears bringing my second son home, but big brother was an amazing help. There are 2.8 years between them and big brother was so interested in "helping" and seeing what little guy would do next.
Tops on my list of advice would have to be: Let big sister get involved. If you are feeding the baby, let her hold the bottle. If you are breast feeding, let her sit right next to you and cuddle up all together. I found a boppy pillow to be perfect for holding the baby up during the process. :) Just be sure to relax. Things won't always go as planned, and they will always take more time than expected! ... but you'll all come through and adjust with flying colors. I am confident of that!
Be well. Enjoy the new blessing and the relationships throughout your family.
Tell her that you will need her help with her new sister and follow up. Find or make up things that she can do to help and I am pretty sure that she will think it wonderful, even to the point of asking (probably too often) what she can do to help. Get her involved..give her some ownership...after all Avery is her baby sister. Talk about all the work a new baby is and ask for her help.
Hi, K.:
It's amazing how children take to babies.
Things will be better for you once you
get through the birthing process.
Congratulations and all the best.
D.
Sounds like you are doing a good job trying to prepare her. My son was 3 1/2 when I had my 2nd and we just tired to invole him. He was my helper. I would get him to bring me dipers and wipes. He loved it. You will do great!!!!!!
Good luck and God Bless!
You know, I'm pregnant with my second, and my daughter will be just a few days shy of 2 when the new baby comes. And, rather than worrying that I'll scar her with a new addition to the family, I'm really more sad that she won't remember our special time together when it was just her and daddy and me.
I say that, because it's unlikely (though, not entirely impossible) that your daughter will have any memory of the baby ever NOT being there. She'll definitely need some time to adapt, and some alone time with you, but she'll be fine.
At least, that's what I keep telling myself.
I also was worried about loving this new baby as much as I love my little girl. In my house growing up (I realized in therapy that I never called it "home" - it was always the "house") my mom "chose" my brother and my dad "chose" me. Growing up, there were times I seriously wondered if my mom didn't love me as much as my brother or even her "kids" at school. As a mom, I know that's not the case.
And, as this baby grows and gets closer to coming to his new home, I'm already feeling emotions for it that I never did with my daughter until she was at least a month old. I KNOW what those feelings are now, I know that heart-hurting, overwhelming LOVE and I know I'll feel the same way for this new little one and that it won't ever change my heart-hurting, overwhelming LOVE for my first, either.
