Irresponsible Father Won't Let Me Have Our daughter...HELP!

Dear M.,

You need to search in the yellow pages for Legal Assistance for lower income people - it is there, and you need to do it now. Also, call the Children's Protective Services and speak anonamously
to them about the pot smoking in front of the daughter. Do not tell one single person in the whole world that you did the Children's Protective Services call. I am telling you that is of serious importance because he and his family may just use that to give you the hardest time ever. You be innocent. O.K.?

You know, that your husband or any other single
person does not make the laws. This country has a set of laws and ways to enforce them that are just fine for your purpose.

Be brave and go forth.

Say things like I don't understand what you mean when they ask you if you did it. Keep your little lips zipped, and get a lawyer. Yes you can, now do it. C. N.

So, before the *other woman* did you have issues with any of his behavior? Is it possible that you may be a little upset with the new relationship for the wrong reasons? I am not trying to throw stones or anything, but honestly if he were that much of a dead beat, he would just let you take her. Smoking pot and smoking pot around your kids are two separate issues. People drink alcohol all the time, some even while caring for their children, but there is a double standard there.
As a mom, I know that a mom, when put in a situation where their child is in danger will do whatever it takes to make them safe. I honestly would guess that your daughter is not the issue here, and I think you and dad need to have a talk about feelings.
Good Luck!

Ive been through a similar situation w/ my sons father except there wasnt another woman and my ex was crazy. He used my son as a way to see and sepnd time w/ me when i broke it off with him. I was told by his mother who he lived with that he never really paid attention to my son he just layed him down and propped up a bottle for him. he sued my for joint custody and we went to court. You definately want to go to the court house and file for custody. that way everything is in writing who gets your daughter and when. i would keep track of everything he does so when your hashing it out with the mediator you know what to say when they ask you why hes an irresponsible father

You don't need an attorney - you can go to court and fight for yourself - the courts have mediators for visitation - - - if you can prove he smoke pot at all you will get full custody and he will have to pay you child and possible spousal support - get PROOF about the pot before you accuse him in court it will go in your favor...

Your daughter isnt' old enough to speak on her behalf but you need to tell them about the woman sleeping in her bed - - - I got court order to kick a male renter out of the in-law unit in my garage because my ex-husband told the judge I let the man in the house at night (I never did) - but the judge didn't take any chances and ordered me to evict the man with no proof...

you need to get your daughter out of that environment - - -ps some unkind sole turned me into CPS annonomously - they came out and evaluated my home - everything was okay - but they ordered me to sleep on the couch because my son and I were sharing a bedroom - sleeping in separate beds - but since my son was 4 they said we could not be in the same room - so I had to move to the living room - they came back and checked for a few months to make sure I hadn't moved back in with my son.... Now my little guy has a queen size bed all to himself.

Find out when he plans to buy his next bag of weed & call the cops on him. Child protective services should release her to your custody & he would have to pay all the atty fees. Don't let him put your daughter second. It is every parents responsibility to put their children first, & it sounds like this other girl and his weed are coming first.

I agree about busting him and I'd also visit the District Attorney's office they will help you get child support and any other help you need to get your daughter safe and supported - free. Good luck!

If you are upset about the other girl it is something that you will have to get use to. If he is moving your daughter out of her room and into a crib he is making sure that she is safe and he isn't putting another woman before her. This is an issue that comes up in a divorce and it sounds like you are overreacting.

If he really doesn't watch your daughter and his sister will testify to that you can use it in court. You don't need an attorney to go to court. go down to the courthouse and ask them what papers you need to file and do it. if you want your daughter you are going to have to be proacitve and get it done. If you are really worried about her then call social services and see what they tell you.

If you are not divorced and there hasn't been a legal separation agreement then you have as much right to your child as he does. If you think that you are the better parent and she isn't being taken care of then pick her up to go to Mcdonalds or something and keep her. He has no legal ground to stand on. IF he raises a stink then tell the court that you were told that he is doing drugs. they will drug test both of you so you better make sure you are clean. If you tell him your plans it will give him a chance to fight you and clean up just long enough for court so you have to be slick and move fast.

Before you do all of this you need to really make sure that you are doing the right thing. Did you have a problem before the other woman came around? there are a lot of emotions that come out during a divorce and they are hard to deal with. make sure your motives are good. I know you were supposed to get back together, but maybe it is for the best. Don't let your hurt motivate you to do things that you may regret later.

Hi M.,

So sorry to hear of your struggle. I'm about to embark on a custody battle myself so I truly empathize. It's scary to think of the fight, but worth every ounce of your energy if it means your child's safety and sanity. I just wanted to suggest looking into family court services in your area that may be able to help at little or no cost. I have my first divorce consultation on Thursday for $300 (just the consultation) so I can only imagine the rest....
Good luck to you! You can do it! Remember, moms have been known to lift entire automobiles when it came to the safety of their child.
Denice

Have you tried local groups that help with low income? They are out there. And unless he can prove your an unfit parent the judge usually sides with the mother. I suggest you look for an attorney who works with low income parents. They are out there. I have used them as well. I now have full custody. It is hard and a trying process, but it was well worth it.

okay im gonna give you step by step. 1. go to court house family support area.ask for child custody and child visitation papers. you will have to pay like 20 bucks. ask for fee waiver. ask for directions and hours to pro per clinic. The pro per clinic will fill out copys and give you exactly what you need. You have to buckle down on this also get the child support papers and he will have to help you take care of her financially.If you qualify for fee waiver you pay no court costs.looks like you need to do this soon so yer daughter is out of abad situation.

First off, if your ex is using drugs you can go to Nevada State Welfare dept and they will call CPS and look into it. Secondly, I can't believe that this child does not have her own bed! That is completely innapropriate and CPS will not go for it at all (you should'nt be either!) You have just as much right to your own daughter as he does. If you do go to court you would have the upper hand (providing you are clean and he is not) because you are the mom! As far as not making enough money to support yourself/daughter and pay attny fees... Are you serious?? There is help! All you have to do is go to your local welfare office. If you have a problem finding a better job or don't have skills/education for one, they will help you with both! Plus, you can apply for benifits. I know this much, if it were my child there would be no way on earth I would allow her to be with her dad under these circumstances. I don't care what I have to do! You are responsible for this little ones emotional and physical well being! If you don't take care of her now, it is a pain I don't wish on anyone that will come to you later.
Very Best Wishes!