Is 10:30 Too Late for Bed?

My baby did the same thing at that age. That's about the age you can try to adjust their sleep habits. The best book that worked for me was "Good Night, Sleep Tight" - gentle and effective.

Abby
I think that your baby is being a tipical baby. They were not have made sleeping books if that wasn't true. So I would say to start tring to get ona routine. Maybe try to start getting ready for bed around 7 and start by a a nice warm bath then book and maybe snuggle a and rock and then if you bottle feed or breastfeed you could do that. and if you don't feel confortable with feeding her a bottle right before sleep you could change the routiine to fit yout life style but I would try starting earlier with a routine. Good luck
K.

Sleeping from 10:30 to 7:00 for a 4-month-old, especially if she sleeps through the night, sounds wonderful to me!! You are very lucky. If you still have concerns I would talk to your pediatrician or consult Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book, "Sleepless in America" I believe is the title. She lives in Eagan and has written some very helpful books about child development and child-rearing.

Try and have a routine to let her know it's bedtime. Like feeding or snack, bath, bed.....

My daughter is 6 and has ALWAYS gone to bed between 9-11pm and loves to sleep in til 8-11am. That's just the way my daughter is. Luckily it works for us.

From my experiance though you lucky she sleeps that long. If you move her bedtime up your gonna have a child most likely waking up earlier than 7am. So you have to pick your battles. Personally I'd rather have a child sleep in so I LOVE my daughter's sleep habits. She's never been one to wake up at the crack of dawn.

While your daughter is still pretty young to cry it out, you can try to console her while she is still in her crib rather than picking her up. Lay your hand on her chest, rub her belly, put her pacifier back in, just stand by her crib to let her know that you're there and she's safe. If she is crying (not just whimpering), pick her up and let her re-group before you put her back down. Eventually, she will get the point that it is time for bed. Rather than having a specific bedtime, have a bedtime range. My 4 1/2 month old's bedtime is 7:00-8:00. Make a routine that is the same every night and she will pick up on what you are doing before it is time for bed. I nurse my daughter, change her in her nursery with just a nightlight on, turn on her lullaby CD, put her in the crib with her pacifier, and leave the room. Usually she is asleep within 5 minutes and doesn't cry. With babies, the more they sleep the more they sleep. The more my daughter has napped during the day, the longer she sleeps at night.

I haven't checked the other responses, so forgive me if I repeat what others have said...

10:30 is late only once she gets older. I wouldn't do the crying it out until she is older (if then). Trust me, I know how difficult that can be. How could you possibly feel relaxed with your husband while you little one is freaking out? It is impossible. Don't feel bad that you only last a few minutes.

To move toward an earlier bedtime I would make small changes in the time you put her down. Try to move it to 10:15, then 10, then 9:45, etc. Give her a few days between changes in time to adjust to the new time (I have heard from many people that it take about 4-5 days for them to adjust). If you make the changes small in time hopefully she will adapt and before you know it she will be going down at 7 or 8.

Just remember the whole process takes time and you will again get to have time with your husband. Good Luck!

We were putting our twins to bed at 10:30 at that age. I think eventually she will adjust to going to bed earlier on her own (well, thats what our boys did anyway) as she gets older and is taking fewer day naps. I wouldn't push it too hard at this point, but know that it will probably get better. As they get older they begin to sleep for 10-12 hours/night (can you imagine?!?!) and the way that happens is they go to bed earlier - they don't get up later.

We didn't start the crying out method until they were 10 months old and were mad because they just-so-happened to wake up. All the books I've read say that for the first 6 months it's more important to develop trust (the world is a trusting place) and show your daughter that your there for her when she needs you, more than she needs to learn to put herself to sleep.

Up until then, unfortunately, the only alone time I got with their father was after 10:30, and even then, we slept in separate rooms for the first 10 months so that one of us could get a good night sleep while the other one took care of any/all overnight "baby duties." It's just kinda how it goes, I guess. It's paid off though, now they go to bed at 8 by themselves in their own crib, sleep all night long or put themselves back to sleep when they wake up, and then don't get up until 7-7:30. They just turned 13 months today.

The point is, if you put in the extra work now, you could get a nice payoff in the future. Good luck!

You know, we went through this for a while. There was one night that my daughter was so tired at around 7:30 (she hadn't had a nap later in the day) we put her to be and she slept the whole night. every day now, we don't let her take a nap after 3:45 or so. She now goes to bed early. we found we were missing her bed time. they want to go to sleep a lot earlier and usually parents miss the cues and then they catch their second wind. I read "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley and it helped us immensely. The key is consistancy!
Good luck - hopefully you get some time with your hubby!

Four months old is awfully young to have a bedtime at all. I imagine you are feeding her every 4-5 hours for the most part. Can you get her to sleep after her 7-8 pm feed (in a swing or by being walked to sleep?), then feed her one more time before you go to bed in the late evening so hopefully she'll sleep through most of the night and then settle her in her crib? That is what we did with my son. He didn't start to have a true bedtime until he was closer to 10 months or a year. A four month old needs close to 16 hours of sleep a day so 10:30 to 7 would not cut it, even with some long naps during the day.

Good luck,

B.

Hi Abbey,

You know what...I'd imitate the night time routine for her, just to get her used to the fact that it's night time, but my bet is that her schedule may change again and hopefully for your sake, she'll start going to bed earlier.

My daughter (almost 4) never lost that schedule...she still prefers to fall asleep around 10. I''ve also found that Rrobbing from her nap in the afternoon never made her go to sleep earlier at night, nor did putting her to bed early make her sleep in. So, I've resigned myself to believe that some children just don't require as much sleep as others. But, yours is only 4 months and hopefully, she'll switch to a better schedule. If she's a happy kid...try not to worry about the sleep thing too much. I've fretted over it for years now and it's just not healthy...for me. :) Good luck.

I've read baby's should be sleeping 10-12 hours at night, so I don't think she's getting nearly enough sleep. We found the book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems by Teaching You to Ask the Right Questions incredibly helpful. It really helped us figure out how to teach our son to sleep. The Hennepin County library system has a few copies. My son wanted to eat every 2-3 hours ALL NIGHT LONG! Now, he sleeps from 8pm-7:30am and takes a nap--Yay! He goes to bed so easily too-- we read books, rock and sing songs, put him in bed awake and he just falls asleep!! Also, we have one of those Fisher Price aquariums that he can turn on himself to help him sleep--really helpful! You can get them used on craigslist for $10-15. It is a lot of work to teach, but if you have some patients for a few weeks, it really works! And, no leaving baby to cry :)
Good luck!

she is a little young yet for a very distinct routine, but you may want to start working on it now so when she is 2 or 3 she isn't still up that late.

in your house you could try to figure out what might be stimulating for her. in our bedtime routine, we turn almost all the lights off or down and only use a few, tv or radio goes off, then the boys take a bath and we read a couple of books. I usually have the bedroom ready and don't turn on the light when I go tuck them in. (both boys are usually in bed and sleeping by 7:45 at the latest)

when is your daughters afternoon nap, how long is it, what time does she wake up...it might be possible for you to slowly manipulate her afternoon nap a little and then put her down earlier at night.

work you way there, you will be able to have some alone time again.

I think it's too late but it depends on how often she naps during the day. At 4 months my first child was in bed between 7-7:30pm and my second is in bed by 8-8:30pm. Now, at one and three they are in bed between 8-8:30pm. Both my kids did wake at least a couple times a night between 3-7 months to breastfeed but by 7-8 months old they were sleeping through the night when put down at the 8-8:30 time. Most 4 month olds take two naps a day. My second child was napping at 9am and 2pm. Try to reconfigure her wake times so she's good and tired by 8pm and put her down. With both my kids I had to let them cry it out. I let them go for 15 mintues before checking on them to see if they are poopy etc. Your child is too young still but by 6-7 months old I'd put toys in there to keep her occupied. When she knows you won't come in for her she may play awhile. Put lullaby music on too. My one year old still cries when I put her in her crib. I ignore her and the time she cries out is getting shorter and shorter. I prefer not to establish the habit of rocking etc. Let me know if you have more questions and I'd be happy to help through my personal experience.

You have to do what works for you and your little girl. It is fantastic that she is sleeping for such a long chunk of time!!!

A great book that I found to be very helpful to me for all 3 of my kids is Happy Child, Healthy Sleep Habits. You can read it by age category, which is really helpful. still reference it at times for my 4 year old. Our 3 month-old goes to bed early, she is tired and ready for bed at 6/6:30pm. (I know sounds really early...but that is when she gets tired) She sleeps until 4, nurses, and then goes back down until 6 or 7am. It works great for us, and we are able to get some downtime in the evening together. I

Good luck!!

You and she are actually doing really well for her age. Most 4 month old babies still require food intake during the night so it is impossible for them to sleep 10-12 hours at a stretch. It is normal for her to be taking 2-3 naps during the day and sleeping about 8 hours during the night. Don't bother with "cry it out" at this age because she is WAY too young to understand. That doesn't work until about 10 months.

Alone time can be hard during this first year so get creative. Use nap times on weekends. Set your alarm for the middle of the night. Schedule a babysitter for date night regularly.