Is Anyone Else Dealing with the "Who's Your Teacher?" Drama

Yes...and guess what?
The child came out the other side BETTER!
In K and Grade 1, not O. familiar face from
PreK or sports, etc.
He met SO many new friends that now, it seems he knows EVERYONE in the school! Lol
He's the kind of kid that's a friend to all, popular and kind.
Just play up the fact that she's gonna meet all kinds of new people.
Sometimes I kind of feel sorry for the kids that always seem to have their comfortable O. or two buddies every year--they miss out!

Not "whose" but "who's." We still have no idea. The town redistricted based on grade level, so all of my girls are in different schools this year. I have three school calendars to keep track of. Three. And none of the schools have sent out class assignments yet. We start on the 28th.

I still remember when my son got the "mean" teacher in 3rd grade. We were both disappointed that he didn't get the young, fun "popular" one.
Let me tell you we were both wrong!
That woman was old, stern and had a uni brow of steel but she was AWESOME. I even ended up shadowing her for a few weeks before I started subbing. She was strict but the kids (including my son) absolutely loved her, because she knew exactly what she was doing.
The "popular" one was sweet and bubbly but also flaky and unorganized.
Another chance to teach your child not to judge a book by it's cover, at least let the school year begin before making assumptions and judgments, right?

I felt that way going into 4th grade - I distinctly remember this. But yet, to this day, I look back on that year as being almost magical. My teacher was SO GREAT! I have no idea why I ever thought she'd be anything less than wonderful, but clearly whatever negative rumors I had heard were completely false. This wonderful lady not only taught me long division and made me its conqueror, but she also taught me to throw a boomerang (no joke), and how to knit! I mean, seriously! Mrs. Holt rocked. It just goes to show you, you can't believe everything you hear.

Tell your daughter to suck it up. She's going to have a great year if she wants to have a great year. No feeling sorry for herself! She needs to give her teacher the same chance she would like her teacher to give her. Chances are, everything will turn out great.

My DD was worried one year she was getting a "mean" teacher. Turned ou the teacher was a gem, she was one of her favorites. Yes, she WAS strict, but she was respected (maybe a little feared). And my DD loved being "one of her good students" My DD's behavior, grades, and self esteem was the best it has ever been that year. I credit that strong and talented 5th grade teacher. She was also separated from all of her good buddies. Yes, she was bummed about that, but it wasn't that hard to accept after the initial disappointment. I noticed that she also managed to avoid some of the drama that errupted in the other classes. She did not have to worried about being pulled between fighting friends. Her classroom was kind of a break from all that, and she thrived academically that year. I'm sure it would have been much more difficult if her friends were all in her same class.

Re: the teacher, ask your daughter how she would feel if she found out the teacher saw her name on the roster and said "OH NO, I didn't want HER in my class!"

Not fair, right? Proceed to have the conversation (so well said by the mamas below) about giving people a chance and not believing rumors.

Invite the friends over for a sleepover or something before school starts so they can talk and enjoy time together. Look for ways they can continue to be close even if they aren't in the same class.

I have told this story a million times on here. I was upset and our daughter was upset one year because she did not know even 1 child in her 1st grade class. I had hoped she would be assigned to the "best teacher". Turned out to be a great teacher. That teacher even told us it was her all time favorite class. I also ended up understanding why this teacher was chosen for our child.. She was perfect. Only child, loved books, had a dry sense of humor.. Perfect.

Tell your daughter we all understand her disappointment, but in the end, she is going to realize why she has been assigned this teacher and as a bonus, is going to still keep the other friends, but also expand her friends to new people!

Yes yes yes lol. The kids I nanny for are goign through this. The only advice I can give you to give her is that usually the rumor about a teacher being mean is started by a kid who either got in trouble or didn't do the assigned work. The teachers who are "mean" are the teachers that you will remember later because they taught you so much. Tell her to check out the class list. She will know some kids. No way the same exact kids get passed from class to class without some being shuffled around. So while her best friends may have been moved some other best friends from a previous grade will be in this class.

Sometimes we're about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
It takes awhile for kids to learn it although some adults never seem to.
This is less about what teacher she got and ALL about what class her friends are in.
If she goes in as a gloomy Gus, she's going to put herself into a self fulfilling prophecy - it will be harder to make new friends because she's moping over not being with the old friends.
Then she will be unhappy and it will be self inflicted and I just don't have patience for this sort of thing.
Tell her she's got a day to fuss and bother and feel sorry for herself, and then she's got to find the silver lining and get over her funk.
Every new grade and teacher is a new adventure - she needs to learn to embrace it.

omg... are you kidding me with the grammar stuff (below)? Gimme a break....

Anyway, I feel for her too. :( There is like NOTHING worse when you are that age, than feeling left out. However, the drama won't last long. In my experience, rumors about "mean" teachers are usually just rumors. In fact, I always liked the teachers best who were supposed to be "mean". We don't know who the teachers are yet, we won't find out until four days before class starts, which is good. Not much time to stew about it if you don't get what you want. My older daughter has her heart absolutely set on one teacher, so I hope & pray she gets her, but odds are she won't. It will work out if she doesn't. She'll have a good experience regardless.

The sucky part is that there's not much consoling her untils he realizes for herself that it's going to be fine.

Keep doing what you're doing. Help her manage her disappointment and offer reassurance that things will be just fine. Just another one of life's lessons that will seem insignificant in 2 months.

In our school, all of the kids in the same grade have lunch and recess together. Do they do that in her school? Also, regardless of what you hear about the teacher, you need to stay positive. My son had one of the *meanest* teachers in the school last year for 1st grade. It was his BEST year!!!!! We loved her!!!

I'm not sure there is much more you can do, unfortunately. :(

I remember being SO sad and nervous about the teacher I got in third grade. I heard in school that she was mean, and really hard. On top of that, my best friends were all in a class together. That teacher ended up being awesome for me!! I also met my best friend. (At the time.) Hopefully, she will have a great first day, and that will relieved her sadness.

My daughter struggles alot about what will BE instead of what IS. So we're working on focusing on taking things one day at a time and just trying to live in the moment. And that there are things in life that you will not be able to control. Plus she may also make some new friends. Good luck!

Just keep everything positive on your end. I remember being assigned to the "mean" teacher. I was scared to death to go to school on the first day. Turned out, the teacher was not mean, and I really enjoyed my year.

I would tell her that kids who don't do their homework or who are disruptive in class are the ones who label the teacher "mean" and if she behaves herself like she usually does, then the teacher will have no reason to be "mean" to her and things will be fine.

Just don't play into it - be positive and cheery. Also, you could tell her that it's really a good thing to get to know the kids in the other class because soon they'll be moving up to middle school and she will know more people than the rest of the kids because she was in both classes.

I know it's hard not to sit down and commisserate with her, but that won't do her any good. Hang in there mama!

Aww...that's so hard for a kid. I have to say though that every single time that this has happened it has turned out to be for the best. Teacher relationships are definitely kid-specific. So tell your daughter that just because other kids thought this teacher was mean does not mean she will. I have been surprised more than once about how lovely a teacher with a 'mean' rep is. Have her go in with an open mind ready to start a good relationship with this teacher. She will also end up meeting kids she would not normally hang out with which is good if she is in a public school that merges at some point...the more kids you know the better. One last thing-for girls this is often a good thing. She will be able to stay out of all the drama this way. This same thing happened to a friend of mine's daughter and it turned out as a blessing when all that the other girls did all year was fight.

Usually kids don't like teachers because they have rules & enforce them. Not everyone can be the "cool" teacher. I say, be positive & give the teacher a chance. Because I guarantee you, if you go into it with a negative mentality, and your DD does the same, you will get the same in return.

Each student will have different perspectives of the same teacher. I know that I had an English teacher in 7th grade that I loved. Two years later my sister had her and hated her. In elementary school, the principle (who I loved) retired. We got this evil witch as the replacement. My sister loved her. My point being that your daughter may actually like this teacher and her classmates IF she gives her a chance.

I suggest you remind her that you know she's disappointed but are hoping she stays optimistic. Purposefully, try to arrange a playdate or outing with a few of her friends (maybe this weekend) and then again after school starts with one or two of her new classmates.

Yep, my son had a small class last year (11 kids). Well those 11 are now split between 5 kindergartens, and the only kid from his class last year is a girl!!! He's not thrilled. Also, he's getting the one teacher he doesn't know.

I've tried to be nothing but positive - you'll see your friends at lunch are recess, you're not new to the school anymore so you'll be more comfortable, I've heard your knew teacher is a lot like your old teacher and you loved her, remember so and so from daycare is going to be in your class too (another girl).

I hear ya! I really do. I think he will be just fine, but truthfully I called my mom and cried when I found out who his teacher was. I just want what's best for my baby.

I have not gone through this. He is my oldest. But I strongly believe that my job is to keep it positive and encourage him. I save my fears and disappointments for the times when he's not around.

She might not see it now, but there are many things about this year that are going to be great. Maybe it will help if you can point a few out to her.

I think the best thing to do is to help your daughter deal with her feelings of disappointment. This is a pretty normal reaction. Then you need to start pointing out the positives. As others have said, just because some people don't like her teacher doesn't mean that she wont like her teacher. Will she still have lunch/recess etc with all kids in her grade? Last year in first grade, my daughter was in one class and her friends in another. She did still meet up with friends during recess. There were still a few instances where she didn't get invited to parties because the child only invited the class, but those situations were pretty few and far between. Try to foster some friendships outside of school to make sure she can maintain relationships with her current friends. Lastly, let her know that this is an opportunity to make new friends. The first few days may be rough but fingers crossed, your daughter will adjust and wont be as sad/disappointed as the year goes on.

I remember when I got the "meanest" teacher in school in fourth grade. Turned out she was AWESOME! She just made everyone follow rules and all my friends were in the "fun" teachers class.

My daughter is in 2nd grade...our school does things different on many levels. After KG they split them up for first grade...then the class stays together for 1st and 2nd (just a teacher change) then for 3rd grade split them again and so 3rd & 4th grade the kids stay together.

At first I didn't like the idea...but I have jumped on the bandwagon and think it's great!

I'm sure next year will be difficult. As at least five of the kids in her class she has been with since KG. And one since pre-k.

My son's school doesn't post teacher assignments until next Thursday and school starts the following Monday (so 4 days prior). The only leave the assignments up for an hour long open house then you're SOL until the first day of school. Grrr... this year, my meet the teacher is the same day as his, so I can't get away to take him and the principal says there is NO other time or day we can find out. (Really lady, you took the time to email me that he can't find out... how about just email the assignment? Oh well, have fun with my borderline ASD, surprise hating little one on the first day of school :-P).

For you daugther: On the positive side, she's ALREADY friends with the kids in the other class, and now she gets a chance to make a who ADDITIONAL set of friends in her class :)

my dd had that happen for first grade and since her big bro is only one year head she thought she would have his first grade teacher the sweet nice fun one. nope, got the unmotivated teacher, got none of her friends, ugg
bight side she got to watch a movie every week, just great!

she made it through, she made new friends ( we started a daisy scout troop so she had a little clique) but yeah i'm sooo hoping this comign year shakes out better.

Final line, friends fluctate all your life. i guess if you have to learn that lesson while you are young you'll be better for it.

Got the teacher assignment today. I know always a concern. We were concerned...Turns out we got who we wanted. Relieved at least for this year. My daughter's teacher is known to be strict. That's good because that's what she needs.

We are going through this right now too. Not only did my son get the 'drill sergeant' teacher, but he got the teacher that all his prior year teachers said would be the worst teacher for him. The school ignored all of the 4th grade teachers advise and assigned him anyway, reasoning that they were putting all the 'trouble/LD/CD/unruly' students in the drill sergeant room. (yes, the principal confirmed this to me.) And word has definately gotten around. The few parents of the few non-issue kids assigned to that room (to balance out the numbers) are irrate that their kids may be held back by the other kids. I'm irrate that the the reasoning of the teachers who've already had him was ignored. And that this teacher will be so busy with 1/2 the class that is LD & CD that kids like my son will fall through the cracks. Not to mention that every teacher and instructor he's ever had has recognized (under their own observation) that he cannot function under 'strict'. Rather than conforming, he self implodes. "Peer pressure" has the opposite effect on him, as he has social-interaction issues. Oh, and then there's the whole stigma that has already spread throught the entire community of the 'slow class' that was created for each grade level. Way to assign more labels to these poor kids. So much for mainstreaming challenged students. All because of 'budge cuts.' (despite the per-capita spending is at an all time high for our district. but i won't start on that issue tonight.)

So yah, I feel your pain. Remind your child that you aren't allowed to talk during class anyway, so she'll get to interact with her friends during l, unch and recess just as much as if she were in their class. In fact, they may be even more excited to see her because they've been away for so long. Finally, I've had this happen with my daughter, and she's always ended up expanding her group of friends rather than losing.

I wish I could give you words of wisdom, but not in this case. My daughter went through this in second grade. My daughter had 5 really good friends and the all wanted a certain teacher. Well, my daughter got the really cool teacher but all 5 friends went together to a different teacher. My daughter was crushed. It was a tough year to say the least. Who would have thought that of 5 friends all of them would go together except her? Well, grades dropped and so did moral. We did try our best to keep in touch with the friends through play dates outside of school and that helped a little. The other class had different lunch and different recess, so it was very hard for my daughter. She did make some new friends but it was never the same. Fortunately for third grade all of the 5 friends were back in her class. I wish you the best. Try to stay positive and keep your fingers crossed.