A.G.
Get him a tutor to work with him in school. My daughter was seeing and writing everything backwards, i worked with her at home also, but got her a tutor in school. Now shes a whiz.
My son just took his readiness test for Kinder and did not do well with letter recognition. I have been freaking out about it since. MY wonderful husband says I am stressing for nothing. I think I am just being a mom and want the best for our kids and am trying to help our child out.
So, my son will be placed in the lower reading classes starting at the beginning of next school year. I do not want this. I know if he can just learn his letters he will be fine b/c he can already write all them without looking at another sheet. He just doesn't know what he is writing. So, I think if I worked with him all summer he should have it by the school year and wouldn't need to be in the lower class. My husband says that is what school is for - to teach them and that it is not big deal that he will be in the lower reading class. He also has the attitude that he is only 5... and that I am expecting too much from him.
My husband and I come from two different educational backgrounds. I was always a straight A student who thought school was easy. He struggled and was always in the lower classes. I think this is why he is fine with his son being in the lower classes where as I am the one freaking out that he is in the lower class.
So, honest opinions here - b/c this is the first time we are entering the whole school stuff with children. Does it really matter if they are in the lower classes? Or should I continue to push to help improve his skills?
Thanks!
Thanks everyone! You really let me know how it should be - which is exactly what I was looking for. I am definitely not pushing him, this was just all in my mind that was freaking out, lol. I will let him be where he is supposed to be and let him learn at his pace. Thanks again for all the great advice and.
This parenting thing is a learning process just as being a kid is, right!
Thanks again!
Get him a tutor to work with him in school. My daughter was seeing and writing everything backwards, i worked with her at home also, but got her a tutor in school. Now shes a whiz.
I would be unhappy not because of where my son is but that they are "tracking" the kids in Kindergarten. What does that mean exactly that he will be in the lower reading group?
It is really no big deal.
This is only Kindergarten... how will you react as he goes through each successive grade level and/or is weak in a certain area?
You were a straight A student.
My Mom was too, and in fact she was always Valedictorian of her class etc.
Super brain. But, not in everyday nuances and child rearing.
I was not good in certain subjects as a child. (In college I was a straight A student). My Mom... would help me. Thinking she was helping me. All it did was make me not be able to stand her at all. She made me feel stupid. She got frustrated with me. She got irked at me. She didn't understand WHY I didn't catch on to things a fast as her. Because, SHE simply could not understand, that I was not "her." I, did not understand academics the way she did. So, well, I really couldn't stand her. She was so stressful to be around, so much pressure. Always had to be 'perfect' and she just could NOT understand... that everyone is different.
I was closer with my Dad. My Dad... accepted me for who I was and KNEW me. He knew my talents/interests etc. and never focused on my "stats" or 'resume' as a child. I was MUCH closer to my Dad, than my Mom. For that reason.
My Dad did not 'dumb me down'... just because he accepted me for who I was. He simply, was more human. And although my Dad is highly successful... he just has a different tack on how to teach a child.
Again, this is ONLY Kindergarten.
Do not, put your style of expectations, on your son. He is him.
I'm sorry... but when I read your question.. it reminded me of my Mom. Not in a good way.
Do not be that way with your son.
Your son, will not have any stigmas or hang-ups... unless you give him one.
all the best,
Susan
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He should be in the group that is the best suited for his needs.
I teach high school and I cannot tell you how many times parents are like "I need to get my kid into an AP class for his transcript" or "College prep level seems so 'average'. He needs to be in honors" when the pacing of the course is not appropriate for the child's ability level. What happens? The kid is overwhelmed. The class moves too quickly and they get behind. They do poorly on tests. Their self-esteem plummets because they think they're "stupid". They begin to dread going to class. They begin to think "I'm not going to do well in this class, so what's the point in trying" so they stop doing homework and studying. So now they've wasted at least an entire semester in a class that was too fast-paced for them because the helicopter mom (or dad) didn't want the stigma of being in the 'average' or 'low level' class.
Let him be in the class that is most appropriate for his needs.
If you were a beginning runner and had never run before in your life, would you do a couch-to-5k training program or would you opt for the elite class marathon training because you didn't want to be in the 'lower class'? You'd pick the preparation that is most appropriate for your skill level...otherwise you'd be faced with overwhelming challenges, unreachable goals, and training that would potentially be hurtful and harmful. You'd probably begin to hate running or even quit altogether because you can't keep up.
Whether he attends higher or lower classes (as you describe them( you should still continue to help him improve. IF you do that all Summer and see progress, then perhaps he can re-take the test. I found that the most Kinder Teachers do a good job at assessing the skills of the students they teach. Therefore, say your son is placed in the lower level class, I am sure if she sees ample progress with your son, she will suggest that he progress to the next level.
Additionally, I might add, you make it sound like your husband cares LESS about your son's education than you do. Keep in mind, just because you got A s and your husband did not, it doesn't necessarily mean he cares less, in fact, he may care even more than you because he knows how it feels to really have to work hard at something. Whereas, you may have taken for granted all the work that goes into achieving an A.. In your case, learning may have come easy, but I assure you, A s don't always make a person more the wiser..... I would listen to what your husband has to say .. Sounds like he can relate to what your son is going through, quite possibly more than you. To me, I understand you are a loving mom, but don't let your ego get in the way of what is possibly best for your son at this present time.
good luck
Calm down mama. It's Kindergarden. While the kids are expected to know certain things like writing and recognizing their name, they are not expected to know it all and be reading chapter books on day one.
THIS is what shool is for. While he may start in the lower reading group in a class, it doesn't mean that he will stay there all year. In our classes, there could be 3-4 different groups of kids for reading. Each gets different attention from the teacher. The more solid readers are asked to do more independent work, while the kids that are reading a bit below grade level are offered more assistance. Given a month or two its possible that he will move groups. So I wouldn't be too concerned at this point.
When my son started K, he was barely reading and was slightly below level. He was very upset because his best friend who's Mom thinks he has to be the best at everything, was already reading at a Grade 2 level. Then one day it clicked and he started getting better.
By first grade my son was on level. The friend was still reading a 2nd grade level. By 2nd Grade my son was reading on a 3rd Grade level, the friend was on 4th grade. By 3rd Grade, my son was reading on a 5th grade level, just slightly behind his friend. Now in 4th grade, they are both even and reading on a 6th grade level. In their 4th grade class, the kids are reading between 3rd - 7th grade levels. They are grouped accordingly so that kids that are reading the same help each other.
Hugs.
M.
I think you and your husband are both right. You want to give your kids the very best start in school. However, you shouldn't worry about it too much.
I think you should go ahead and work with him over the summer. But don't stress about it, because he will pick up on your stress. You don't want him to feel bad about his reading, or to feel like he is already behind. As soon as kids start to feel like they are "bad" at something, they lose confidence.
So, be positive and encouraging. Play games which encourage letter recognition, such as letter bingo or memory. Every time he picks up a letter card, say the name of the letter and the sound that it makes. "B says buh!" Make it fun so he wants to play.
The good news is, the school will re-evaluate your child frequently during the school year, so if they find that he is catching on and doesn't need to be in the lower group any longer, they will move him up. Hope this helps.
Your son needs to be in the reading group that fits him. He will do great and probably be moved up really quickly. He will be going at his correct pace and will have lots of fun learning so quickly.
We noticed and many teachers told us.. kids level out at about 3rd grade. You are going to know what subjects come easy to them and what subjects they will have to work at..
Remember, this is not a reflection on you, this is where your son is. Be glad they know from the beginning so they can help him at his pace. Always follow your child lead.
Chill mama! I like you found school to be easy. Learning to read was no problem and I recall breezing through elementary school. My daughter is like me - but my son is not at all. WHile he's a great mathetician he struggles with languange skills. I think most kids who struggle with language skills are boys - probalby just how their minds work.
Schools teach and test language and math skills primarily. But there are other types of intelligences - such at music, arts, athletic, spatial (think engineering, building) people (think sales, politics). Some kids' brains aren't ready to read at 5 or 6 - but become ready at 7, or even 9. Some kids are experts at math or musci and never really become strong readers.
As you go through the school years you'll see him develop preferences for certain types of things that will point to his strengths. If he lvoes legos and builds amazing things he may have the mind of an engineer. If he is an amazing artist or musician you'll know how to help him develop those skills.
It happens that my 11 yo son who has language skill problems learned to read with great difficulty and some special ed. He's never going to be as great a reader as other kids - but he's got excellent math skills and he's got an amazing sense of spatial perception and can building anything. I expect he'll go towards engineering. He's a good athlete and has scores of friends. All the kids, teachers, school staff love this child.
Interestingly, my 14 yo daughter who is a whiz at school and was an EASY reader, has greater difficulty in social situations and is not much of an athlete and can't carry a tune if she tried. She is very smart and has a small circle of friends.
So - different kids have different skillsets and reading isn't the only thing that determines how well he'll do in school and in life. Relax and do what you need to do to help him prepare for reading - pushing him into a group that is beyond his capacity will only harm him and make him feel stupid - which I'm sure he's not.
Read books by Cynthia Tobias and Mel Levine about kids and how their minds work and their skills. You may find that you need to learn!
Kids all develop at their own pace - let him do so mama. One day he'll be reading a bedtime story to you and you'll look back at this moment of panic and smile at your silliness. ;o)
It is only kindergarten for gosh sakes. My husband was not a good reader and his parents put a lot of pressure on him which did him no good at all. His father is still in denial that he has a reading disability, he is ashamed of it. My husband is very very smart ( has 2 college degrees and is working on a masters right now) and he is still upset about how his parents made him feel about his learning process/style when growing up. Why are you freaking out that he will be in a lower classes that will focus on his learning style? From what I have seen boys generally are a little behind when starting out in school. Relax, your child has plenty of time to be stressed about school, let him enjoy kindergarten while he can.
M R could not have said it better. I teach AP English, and I have so many students who are in my class at the beginning of each year simply because they feel they have to be in AP English to get into college. They struggle and then fail the first six weeks, sometimes after hours of tutoring from me and other tutors. English just isn't their strongest subject. Eventually they move to an on-level English class and they thrive. Students need to be placed appropriately. Right now your son may need to be in the lower reading class. As time goes by, perhaps he will need to be moved up. He will learn best in the class that is best suited to his current needs. As to your last question though, you can always help him at home to help improve his skills. Good luck, Mama! Education is a long, hard road. :)
I agree with your husband. Relax! Just keep it fun and light--no task is quite so unpleasant as the one your mom is hounding you about and getting all agitated over.
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relax! He'll get it & the school will be there to help. Let them do their job, & if later on, he needs extra help....then you can step in & assist.
If you make too big a deal out of his placement, then he will feel stress. Let him be happy & see what happens.....
In the meantime, play games together. Do books. AND AVOID all of those stupid worksheets & remedial resources out there! He'll get enough of this at school. Make learning fun & he should be fine....
He needs to be in the group at his current level. It is not fair to him for him to feel like a failure by trying to force him in the high group. It is not fair to those students who would lose out on moving forward while teachers mediate his weaknesses. He will move up as he is ready. I would not freak out or let him see how upset you are. He will learn the skills.
I wish OUR school was this way and quit forcing kids to struggle or be bored while teaching to the middle.
In my opinion, I think you are feeling like you've let your son down. Don't feel like that. Maybe right now, it's not coming to him yet. Please do not talk about this in a negative way in front of him either. He's in the reading class the school feels he will learn the best at. Do help him this summer and maybe when he does go back in the Fall he will be moved and ready for more challenging reading.
Don't take this as a personal attack against you or there is something wrong because he's not at the level you were. Let him enjoy school and he will do much better. If he hates or doesn't like it, it will show in the years to come...
Don't stress!!!!!! It is ok to challenge your son to do the best he can but he may not be ready like some of the other kids to advance in the reading etc...I think education has come a long way and if you son needs an extra boost and help no big deal..I would rather he be in that group and excel than struggle and do poorly with his peers. As long as he is not being labeled...Relax Mama!!! Ultimately, it won't matter once he's in high school and applying for college that's the key. Just give him extra support and encouragement. If you see more struggles early on get him a tutor.
I have to agree with your husband on this one. RELAX ... it's kindergarten for crying out loud.
DO NOT pressure your son. Yes keep working with him over the summer but, as others have suggested, in a fun way. DO NOT turn it into a chore or a "we must do THIS every single day and you MUST learn this by this time" kind of thing or you're going to turn learning into something he hates.
Instead of worrying about reading levels and grades, emphasize giving his all and doing his best. If he does the best he can and gives 100% it'll all work out. Teach him good study habits. It'll all be fine. If you start with kindergarten being stressful for both of you ... you're going to have hell to pay when middle school and high school get here and it's REALLY stressful.
It is ok to start him in the lower reading group while he is working to catch up. If he masters it, he will be moved up. It is also ok to work with him now through the summer and hopefully close the gap sooner.
Since they have already evaluated him, they won't put in the higher group until he 1. is re-evaluated or 2. shows he has progressed to the higher level. You don't want him in the higher level if he isn't ready because that will cause much frustration for you and him and turn him off from reading (you really don't want that!).
My son is in first grade and I worked on school stuff all summer with him. I went to http://www.education.com/ and printed off first grade work for him and told him he would get homework once a week. I think it helped him. I feel that your job is a parent is to help your child learn and it's not just the responsibly of the teachers. My son gets homework every night and I sit down with him every night and help him, check it over to make sure he understands it and does it correctly. He has spelling words every week and we practice them every day. Just don't make a big deal that he is in a lower reading level because that would just make him feel bad. Don't just work on reading but work on math, science and try to make learning fun. Check out your library for story times or other activities. Read books with him and have him read some words and take turns. That's what I did with my son and he's a great reader. I still make him read to me sometimes.
I think you are worrying too much. Our son is in 1st grade and I volunteer every other week with reading time where student read to you. In Kindergarten the kids started off on all different levels - some kids did not know their letters yet and some knew them all. Some could even read a bit already. Some were clueless about reading. Now that 1st grade is more than half way over I will tell you that it is all starting to even out. At the beginning of this year some of the kids really were struggling with reading and sounding things out. Most of those same kids after the holidays are really starting to read well. It does not matter if he starts off at a lower level (and I believe at most schools the kids have no idea that there are levels. At our son's school you are given a color which means something to the teacher/reading helpers). The thing that helped our son become a pretty good reader this year is 1. we found books he LOVES and wants to read. Some are obnoxious - Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Captain Underpants. But he loves them so much he would WANT to read them. and most importantly 2. he has to read out loud to me or his dad for at least 10 minutes every night. Wow - he's gotten to be a great reader this way. We just started this this year (1st grade). If you start this in Kindergarden it might stress him out. Just read read read to him every night and don't worry too much yet.
I can relate. I am a huge reader and always did very well in school. But from day 1 I've told myself that it doesn't necessarily mean my children will be that way. (my husband also did very well in school.) I have friends w/ super successful parents on the academic front who never did well in school. Who's to say that won't be the case with mine? I never ever want to make my kids feel pressure to "measure up". I don't see what good that will ever do and likely will do harm. You may need to start adjusting your expectations. I don't mean give up etc but be cautious in what you expect. My 1st grader was BELOW GRADE LEVEL reading in October. I was a bit appalled and panicked at first. We've worked a lot with her since bc I at least want her to be grade level. And she's now doing great. But I also reminded myself, maybe she won't be one of those kids who's a slow starter like everyone says. Maybe she just won't be a fantastic student. It's too early to say. So I'm taking it one day at a time. I guess I'm a pessimist but I'm kind of going w/ a base line expectation she'll be an "ok" student so I don't seem disappointed in her. Of course I'll still encourage her and push to a slight degree but it's too early to really push yet. I don't know if she's smart but lazy, great in one area but not another etc. This is a learning time for all of us. Let your son start off in the lower class so he's not turned off to reading by not being able to keep up and then see how things go. And make sure it's not pride as other moms ask "where is your son?" Believe me - I know it's competitive amongst moms!
I just went through the same thing with my son, who started kind. this year. At the beginning of the school year he tested VERY low and he had NO interest in learning his letters, numbers or anything for that matter. I seriously thought that I was going to have to hold him back a year. Now that he has been in school for 6 1/2 months, he has done a 360. He LOVES to sit down and do homework every night and he tests right there with all the other kids. I have been told that he could test out of the special reading class that he is in, but I choose to keep him there. I feel that it is actualy better, he is in a smaller class and gets more one-on-one time, which I thinks is GREAT and will only help him more. It has been awesome to watch him develop so quick over the last few months and see his interest change. Good Luck, he will do great and I am sure that he will catch up soon.
I hope this helps you feel better about it - my oldest son, now a senior in HS, was placed in special reading assistance for 1/2 of first grade. he didn't really start reading above grade level until 5th grade. In jr high he was reading at a 12 grade level..... He got a 27 on his ACTs and was accepted into OSU main campus, plus other colleges. He has letters saying he is gifted in superior cognitive abilities, math and science. He was a late bloomer in reading. And I found out reading is developmental at the time he was going through this. He also had a June birthday and was young in his class. So he just had to be a little older for everything to jell.
Its too early to tell if your son will struggle with school or if he just needs a little help to develop the reading skills. I have another friend who has a son in a gifted program in Pennsylvania who couldn't read in first grade - she had him tested at Sylvan because the district wanted to hold him back. Turns out he was so smart - but he didn't feel like reading for school!
You do need to watch and make sure your son doesn't get "tracked" - if he develops the skills you need to be his advocate and make sure he is placed in the correct classes later on and not stay in the lower reading in upper elementary grades if he doesn't belong there. You will need to practice reading with him and do comprehension problems. The schools now have essay questions even on math tests. Strong reading skills are the foundation for everything else.
You can work with him if you like, but DON'T push him! It really is ok if he's in a lower class. A lot of the research is showing that boys just aren't ready to learn how to read until they're around 7. Our society is way too pushy academically, especially when it comes to boys (although, there are exceptions).
My youngest son is 7, and he's been having reading problems so we've started him in special ed for it. To make it clear, I'M not worried about him but the state is worried so the school has to be which is why we set him up with extra help which is certainly not a bad thing. One thing they stressed with us (especially my husband) was not to push him about because all we'd wind up doing is frustrating him and making him hate reading. Which you certainly do not want to happen. We also had him evaluated and it was decided that he just has a slow processor. The info is getting in there, he's just slow retrieving it and that's OK! Now that we know that, we can work around it so he gets the help he needs, at the level he needs, without pressuring him unduly and making him hate it.
So, this summer, we plan on reading to him lots, playing lots of games with him so he won't regress before school starts. But it will be fun and games.
A site that you could look at is starfall.com. It's a totally free site for letter recognition and it takes the child into early reading. My children have been going there for several years now. I told my school about it, and now three of the teachers have it on the homework assignment list every week (k-2). There is a K curriculum to go with it, but it's pricey and not needed, especially if he's going to K in the fall. A homeschool friend of mine bought and her kids really like it. There are also books & toys you can buy but they're not required either.
Something else my sons school recommended is books on tape, especially if they have an accompanying book for the child to look at while it's being read. My son really likes that idea. I also got my hands on some cool DVD's that are "reading" the books on the screen and highlighting the words as they go. The kids all like those, too.
Right now, sitting down in the evening (or whenever really) and taking the time to read to your child (pointing to each word as you say it) is all he really needs. If he feels comfortable saying a word, or recognizes a word he knows, great! Congratulate him about but if he seems tired, then just read to him yourself. He really will pick up a lot as you work together. It's about you instilling the confidence in him non only that he can really do it but that you also believe in him and support him.
I know it is hard not to stress about this but I'm sure he will be fine!! Two of my kids and myself had to have help with reading in kindergarten and 1st to 2nd grades....I now LOVE reading and both of my children are very smart and read very well. It seems like one of the worst things that can happen to a kid when it comes to schooling but you may be totally surprised at how much it can really help....good luck!!