Is It Okay for a Child to Miss School for a Non-illness Related Reason?

My kids are missing a full-week of school in May to go to the beach. It's a family vacation, we didn't pick the timing, but we're not going to miss it. We'll get their work to take with us and call it good. They aren't going for their PHD's right now, it's 3rd and 1st grade, plus one in pre-k.

When my kids were younger we would take them out of school for vacations to take advantage of off season prices and fewer crowds. The older they get, the more difficult it is to make up the missed work.

Depending on the situation I do. My kids missed a half day so we could drive up to Vegas for my moms 60th birthday. My nephew just missed a whole week to go to Big Bear with his parents and my parents. occasionally it is fine. :)

Since I have started homeshooling (10 yrs now), I look at things much differently. The only thing to consider for you, in my opinion, is just making sure they can catch up. Other than that, time with family is invaluable. Go for it!!!

I believe that life is a great SCHOOL for kids. I have pulled mine out for everything from a "womens' day (when my daughter started her period) to pulling both of them out cause I just wanted to visit the capitol and San Antonio to taking my son out of school early so he could sleep a little bit before a Creed Concert when he turned 13.

Life lessons are the best lessons...and no kid EVER remembered geometry. They WILL "...remember that time you took us out of school......"

Sending good thoughts your way!

Family first. Really. I forced my children to go to school sometimes when they didn't want to and years later when my son was in the service we went to meet his ship after he returned from overseas. We missed one day of school and they penalized my other son, but there was nothing like being with my family after I hadn't seen my son in a year and even as I write the tears are flowing. Who remembers whether or not you took time off to see your family, or whether they were at school some years later. But you will always remember those wonderful family moments that fill our lives with happiness. Don't let anyone give you guff about it. Just do it.

We do it a couple times every year. We all tag along to one of my husband's work trips (if it is somewhere cool) or we need to go visit my sick grandfather or ???. I write a letter to the school principal (school policy) saying what we are doing. If we are going to a place I word the letter in a way to make it sound like a great educational opportunity for our child. The principal so far has always given my son an excused absence. A trip somewhere to see a new place, visit museum, or explore nature is ALWAYS a better learning activity than a few school days. You can always bring along school work or catch up when you get back.

Your kids are young once. There's no reward in heaven for never missing a day of school and if you have an opportunity to have some family fun time, I say go for it. I'd absolutely do it. I was a stellar student and missed school for all kinds of things. I turned out just fine with an excellent work ethic. Just make sure they spend some time doing their work. The actual school work portion is the important part. I finished 8th grade in 3 months because I was home schooled and didn't have to go through the grind of "class time" that year. Also finished on the presidential scholars list.

In days of yore... teachers used to LOVE when their students went on family trips. I know... because we used to miss school all the time, and the teachers were always really excited / had us do a couple minute presentation (and everyone else who went on a family outing)... and I went to nearly a dozen schools growing up (overseas, on both coasts), and my mum has over 20 schools 'under her belt' from the lot of us.

It (travel) used to be considered either educational or character building.

I don't get the whole "Thou Shalt" remain in school, for ever school day! attitude that is the recent trend in public schooling. Although many private schools actually have a requirement for travel to happen at least once every other year as part of their curriculum. Either via a school sponsored trip or via a family trip.

The whole "well rounded" thing. The whole "deep connection to family" thing. The whole "broadening horizons" thing.

It's tradition in our family to decorate for Christmas on December 1st and my husband books this day off work. This year was my first year having a school-age child (oldest was in kindergarten) and was a little unsure if we *should* keep my daughter home with us. The teacher told me that family time is precious and not to worry - it wasn't like she was missing her SATs or anything.

I say you should find out if she'll miss anything important, get any work you can and HAVE FUN AS A FAMILY!!!

The exception would be if she's going to be missing a major test or event or something, but otherwise? Go for it!

Are you kidding me? GO! And have a blast! (remember...kids are only little for a short time!)

It's okay now and then-take the schoolwork along-make a memory!

My opinion? If your family has an opportunity, why not?
Know this: all of the school work will have to be made up and your child will be required to take any missed tests upon return.
IMO, no biggie to miss a couple days of school for some fun....and....if your school policy requires an "educational" trip--fit in a few historical sites, museums, etc.

As a parent, I have taken my daughter away for a weekend because that is when it fit in our schedule. She's in all-day K, so she already has more school time than required by law anyway.

And as a household with two parents working full time, I know there are needs for breaks to relax; requesting time off can be difficult for "prime time" weeks; getting a deal on the hotel and airfare is irresistible. I'd probably go too. But there are some issues to consider. As a HS teacher, boy, I'll admit to you that it is problematic. Anytime a student misses class, I'm thinking, "How can this student make up the work." I'd rethink it once the kids hit sixth grade. Hearing the following sort of things doesn't help any:

"Oh, my family got a vacation to go on a cruise, and we just didn't know that it was exam week (a junior in HS);

"We're leaving for vacation early before the end of the school year. Could I take my exam before the rest of the class by two weeks?"

"We're going to be gone during the class fishbowl discussion, and even though it is 230 points, what assignment can I do instead?"

"We got a deal on the plane tickets, so we'll be gone the week before spring break."

"Can I stay after school and review what I missed while I was on vacation?"(But you've missed F-I-V-E hours of instruction of this important skill that is the basis of the class, and it would take five hours to catch you up.)

(After having taken two hours to prep the "work to be missed" while gone). " I didn't have time to do the homework. Can I turn it in next week?"

"Did I miss anything while I was gone (for a week)?"

"I'm going to be gone for a week starting tomorrow. Can you get my work together?"

Beyond being difficult for the teachers to schedule, gather, prepare, and then follow up on the work missed, it isn't easy on the kids either. A lot of kids drop an entire grade in the class for the semester. It causes kids a lot of stress to miss several days of HS level work. Think HS transcripts for college applications. Your children may want to go on vacation during school, but they may not realize what they are bringing upon themselves.

I know your question was meant to examine whether a parent is sending the wrong message to kids by pulling them out of class. I am just pointing out the each teacher involved is likely spending a minimum of two hours of after-school time for each request of this nature, taking time away from grading assessments and preparing for the next day's class. Teachers don't have enough hours in the day. This is a BIG request. Sure, you write a note to the teacher or principal, but there is a lot of effort on the other end. Consider what you could do to make it easier for everyone involved when you decide you are going.

:) Careful which questions you ask during exam week! :)

Sure it's okay. I don't think it will set a bad precedent as long as you don't do it all during the school year. And as long you don't have your child go back and lie about why they missed school. Enjoy your trip. :)

It's not necessarily setting a bad precedent unless you give your child the impression that school takes second place to other things.

If you're going on a special trip, if your child is doing well in school, if the teacher and the school agree, and if the schoolwork *will* be made up or done ahead of time, I'm for it.

Some dear friends who have four children decided to go to Florida a couple of years ago. This was a huge trip, for which every family member, down to the youngest kid, contributed work and/or money (remember when Disney offered free tickets for a certain amount of volunteer work?). I would have called it an educational project in itself. The schools agreed, and the family had a memorable time. But they don't do that every month, or even every year.

Go. As long as your child hasn't missed too many days and is doing okay academically, it shouldn't be a big deal. If you want, you can always let the teacher know ahead of time and get some work for her to do but who wants to spend vacation time doing homework!

Everything is good in moderation. I see nothing wrong with spontaneous family fun like this when it only happens once in a while. Have fun on your family fun adventure!

I personally do not do this, but it's all in your discretion as a parent. If you do not feel that it would be disruptive to your child, then it's your choice as a parent.

If you are doing it once or twice a year, I say go for it, IF (IF ! ! !) your child is doing good work in school. If your child is just scraping by or failing, then they can't afford to miss school.

I took my kids out for a week so we could go 1600 miles across country by car and sing "Happy Birthday" to my parents on their 75th birthdays.

The small rural school they were attending in Arkansas, gave the kids the first two days of deer hunting season off in November. We took that time plus the other three days of the week to go to Disney World. We had a wonderful time. My kids still remember that and that was in 1990. The lines at Disney World were almost non-existant. We waited almost 5 minutes to ride on the Space Mountain ride. We decided to go again. So we walked down the exit ramp, walked over to the entrance ramp and walked up to the ride. When we got there the people in front of us had just been seated in the ride and so we got in the very next two cars.

With those or in spite of those absences, my number two graduated #1, validictorian, and my #3 graduated #2, salutitorian. My other kids graduated with honors.

Good luck to you and yours.

Nah, no biggie. I do it about once a year.

I say go for it! It's one time in their life when they get to enjoy family travel. Talk with the teacher. I'm sure he/she will agree.

Do it! Plan ahead by getting the make up work and make sure this does not cause her to fall behind.

Life is a learning experience. Your child can learn anywhere you are with them. It's important for children to learn about fun with adults too. They will become one sometime soon.
Enjoy the trip!

I took my daughter out of school one day in 2nd grade because the evening before I was taking her to the Miley Cyrus concert (before she got a little trashy). I let her teacher know she wouldn't be there and why. Her teachers words to me were, "That is so Awesome! Years from now your daughter would have never remembered what she did in class that day but, she will always remember that her mommy loved her enough to do fun things with her". That has always stuck with me. So.....I say HECK YES! Pull her out of school and make some wonderful memories!!!!!!!

I think it's perfectly fine. Happily my son's Montessori school agrees with me. We have missed school for family visits and work conferences - he travels with us - he has gotten to visit Montreal, Denver, Seattle, lots of museums and zoos he never would see otherwise. A family at our school just got back from a month long trip to Hong Kong - a fantastic opportunity for the parents and child. There is so much more to learning than sitting in a classroom. More schools should understand this.

My 12 yo has only missed 2 days of school since K and that was because she was sick. My 9 yo has missed 3 for the same reason. I try to schedule all doc and dentist appts after school or on 1/2 days. (Lord knows we have enough of those!!). We also have all our vacations when the kids are also out of school, summer and fall/winter/summer breaks. Since you are going to tag along with a biz trip, then obviously you have no control over the timing. I think it would be ok as long as they know its a special reason. Otherwise, I feel like school is like their "job". As much as we would LOVE to all just take off days from work for fun, we can't always do it. So I feel you have to make sure kids understand they need to take attendance at school seriously. I'm always surprised when I see my friends on Facebook that they have let the kids "ditch" to go see a movie or visit a friend. Really? I think that's just horrible. Anyway, since you can't go any other time, I think you should go and have a GREAT time! =)

Go for it. There are 2 trips we make every year during the school year. The kids have a blast and look forward to it every year!

Only speaking for the school my kids go to:
In the upper grades especially, Teachers generally do not like that... (I'm talking from 2nd grade on up, because at my kids' school, this is when homework and lessons really ramp up)....because, the child misses out on, in class work/lessons/new lessons/homework/presentations, etc. And when they get back from the trip, the Student has to catch up on a TON of work.
The Teacher will always, send the child home with homework to do, while on the trip itself.
And, the Teacher, once the child returns to school/class... they do not have personal time... to teach the child EVERYTHING they missed out on, while being gone.
Nor do they have in-class time, to do that either. Because, they are teaching everyone else.

There are a couple of students in my daughter's class, that routinely miss school due to trips. Not anything imperative. And for those kids who miss school, there is always a ton of school lessons/work, that they need to catch up on.

AND, if it is near the end of a quarter/semester, that is bad timing for a trip. Because, Teachers HAVE TO get in their grades... by a certain deadline. And cannot wait around... for a student to come back from their trip, to do so. And to me, it is very... inconsiderate for a kid to miss school for a trip (unless it is unavoidable), near the end of any quarter/semester... because, all work has to be turned in, and the Teacher has to turn in her grades. And this is per school, rules. Not the Teacher's personal choice for picking a deadline as to when to turn in grades willy nilly.

Personally, we do not take our kids, out of school during the school year unless it is school breaks. For appointments, yes. But not for trips.

Your trip as you said, if ONLY for a "couple of days."
That is not much.
BUT... you need to inform the teacher, because your child will be responsible for catching up on all work, in-class work assignments and take home homework, too. And for all subjects that is taught.

You don't say how old your child is but I assume elementary school. If that's the case, I think under 4th grade or so, of course it's fine. We've done it and my daughter's teacher was very supportive. She said family trips are important. I likely wouldn't do a whole week but it seems like several families in our K class have done a week or longer. I know when we took our oldest out for I think 3 days, I made sure we practiced reading. IMO, at the younger ages, reading and math are the most important. I was clear that since she was missing school, we'd be doing a bit of work on our own. Like someone else, I missed some school as a kid and did well, have a great work ethic etc.

I'd take my kid out maybe once a year, but I'd make sure to keep up with the homework and studies because there will be a lot of missed work to makeup. I would talk to the teacher beforehand, let her know the planned dates away, and ask for the work plus the chapters in any textbooks to read. My child and I would work together during downtimes (on the plane, before the rest of the family is ready to go somewhere, etc) to keep up, making sure she understood the material. That way, she won't be too behind when going back, and since a lot of subjects build on prior information, she won't be lost going forward. It's amazing how much can be missed in just a few days!

It depends on the reason. I would get the child's homework and make sure they are caught up when you return.

I would also not do this often and make sure that the kids know this is a rare experience.

Life is too short. Have fun as a family because to me that is just as important. Every travel experience is a learning experience in life. Have a
blast.

Wow just read a lot of the answers, and this has got to be the first time that
99% of us agree. Enjoy.

It's okay, lot of my dd's classmates have gone out of town during a school week. Ask the teacher what the kids will be doing and do as much of it as you can while out of town...i.e. reading, writing, math, etc. Personally, I think we accomplish more at home than they do at school (I think there's a lot of wasted time in the school day). If you use your time wisely, they won't miss a thing!

not a bad idea if they are good students and able to catch up. Family bonding and memories are important too.

I agree with the answers here. On rare occasions, discussed with teachers beforehand, not too much time, it's ok. My girls are in pre-K and K and they will miss 2 days of school at the end of March to go to Florida with my mom to visit my grandma (their great grandma) and we did this because the flights during spring break were way too expensive. My mom found flights leaving Wednesday night, returning on Sunday morning, so they'll have only 2 days out of school and they'll be able to rest and be all settled in for school Monday morning. I would never miss exams or be totally irresponsible, like the teacher on here mentioned she's run across with HS students.

She is your child. I think family events are way more important than a couple of days of school. Of course, you can't do that every week, but occasionally. This is one reason we homeschool. We don't want someone else telling us when we can do things as a family. We go wherever whenever we please. I highly object to someone else telling us how to parent our children. Of course, I don't place them in someone else's care all day every weekday, so maybe that makes a difference.

Our school system has cracked down on this as people were taking off all over the place and you could hardly count on having a class with the same kids in it from week to week.
It's horrible trying to teach a class when students are coming and going all the time.
You can get permission from the principal otherwise it's an unexcused absence.
5 unexcused absences means you have to come in to deal with a plan to improve attendance.
In our district if there are more than that, the school will have the truant officer visit you.

When I hear about people purposefully planning a family trip during a school week, I think those priorities are a little off. But when something comes up and you can't control the timing, like a parent taking a work trip, I think it's great if the other parent and child have an opportunity to go too.

I had two conferences in San Francisco on back to back weekends and my son and husband went with me. I think it was actually during my son's spring break and he might have missed only one day of school, but it was a great experience for him and something he still talks about even though it's been several years.

I don't think it's setting a bad precedent, as long as you explain to your children the difference between rare opportunities and skipping for the sake of skipping. We had the opportunity to take our two school-aged children to Washington D.C. last year. It was a very special occasion, and it was full of learning material (not just for fun). We did take them out of school for one day.

However, a word of warning: make sure you understand your school's policy about non-illness related absences. The trip we took ended up being counted as an unexcused absence in spite of sending notes ahead of time to inform the teachers and principal that our children would be missing that day. It was definitely a source of stress and put a little damper on the trip (especially when the school called that morning while we were traveling asking why our children were truant). When it comes down to it, you might have to make the decision to have an unexcused absence in order to enjoy this trip. Hopefully your school is more lenient, though.

Oh, let me weigh in

Oh heck yes!!

The only reason we aren't pulling my daughter out for my husband's Miami trip in May is because it falls during AP test week and my daughter has three.

I was raised by a mom that thought pulling her kids out of school to see "Star Wars" in 1977 was reason enough.

She also let us sit out side in mid thirty degree weather for a GENERAL ADMISSION (freaking dangerous as hell back then) Duran Duran concert in 1984.

My little guy in afternoon 4K but I've let his naps go long and have called him in "sleeping." I've learned the HARD way not to wake a sleeping child. NOT worth the battle at that age.

Definitely do it while you can (kids are little). When they're in middle or high school I imagine it'll be a lot harder. We always take ours out 2 or 3 days before Spring Break b/c we like to go to Florida, and Wednesday is the CHEAPEST day to fly. Last year we saved $1200 by leaving on Thursday instead of Saturday. I don't even know what we would've saved if we'd traveled on Wednesday. Sometimes you do what you gotta do. But, my 5th grader has already made a few remarks about missing those days this year. She's beginning to worry. I doubt we'll take them out of school much in the future, unless it's absolutely necessary. If SHE cares about missing school, then I guess I should too :) Have fun on your trip!

Eh, it depends on what grade the child is in; how much will they miss, i.e. a test vs an independent study day; stuff like that.

My son has missed school days for non-illness related things. Mostly in grade school, a few in middle school. Less so now that he is in High School. I pulled him for a day to participate in a Kaboom playground build on the first anniversary of Hurricane Katrina when he was in 5th grade. He has been late to school for other projects, and once a radio show he was invited to be on. We have had a couple of long weekends where he missed a Friday or a Monday. Just stuff. We had the day in last year in 9th grade when he had a doctor and orthodontist appointment one morning and then decided, on the way to school, to go tour new homes in a really cool development going up. Yeah, he never made it to school that day.

But, for most things, if he will be missing a day, and I know in advance, I do ensure that he will not be missing any testing or uber-critical school work. I have found that most teachers will work with me. And high school gives him three days to make up any missed work - so it all evens out.

I don't think I have set a bad precedent, as recently I suggested an outing to him on one of my days off, when he still had school, and he told me "No" because he had a test that day.

Take your family vacay - while school is important it is also important to strengthen family ties and ensure that we raising the whole child. Talk to your daughter's teachers - maybe there are worksheets etc., that she can take with to keep her caught up.

HAVE FUN!

No. I don't think pulling a child out of school is the right decision. My husband and I always planned our vacations around the school calendar. If something came up during the year, it was either my husband and I went or not.

School is important and most now require excuses. I know if we had pulled ours out for a vacation, we would have been sent to turency court. I understand that its "family fun" but school is a job and its important.

I think it's okay as long as it's not too often or excessive to the point where your kid's grades suffer.

One year we took our family vacation during the school year and my daughter was sent a packet of things to do.
We also made the trip educational and stopped at one of the California missions. We brought back brochures and photos and souvenirs to share with the class. We spent the day in San Francisco. My daughter wrote a little essay about our trip.
No big deal.

Just let the teacher know in advance that you're going out of town for a couple of days. That will give her time to decide to send some assignments or not.

Have fun!

My youngest boy is in year round school so there is no avoiding the missing school for family vacations- I have actually just kept my boys home for "hookie" days because I work and they are getting older we dont have much time so maybe twice a year we stay home watch movies and just hang out I know it is probably wrong but soon they will be gone and I really love those days.

I have taken my son out of school for two days when my mom and stepdad came to visit. He rarely sees them. They took him to Mystic Aquarium, so I had discussed with the teacher, and she thought he could write a couple sentences about his adventure for school. Do something like that, and I am sure it will be fine. I find that if you are honest, they work with you better.

I think it's ok sometimes. My daughter usually misses 1-3 days of school per year for vacation stuff. She gets A's and B's and the teachers give her all her work she will miss so she doesn't fall behind. Last year she missed 2 days because we went on a cruise. And this year she'll miss 3 days because the entire family is going to PA to visit my Grandma (her Great Grandma) ......

Heck yeah! We were NEVER sick growing up and my brother and I would complain that all the other kids got a week or two off every school year since they were sick and we never were. My parents made us a deal that if we weren't sick, they'd let us play hooky for the week and we'd fly to Disneyland or Hawaii. So we did.

We now homeschool and travel while everyone else is in school. We are planning a 2 week field trip to Boston, Salem, Philadelphia, etc. this spring. We want learning to be FUN...and life to be FUN. We are responsible, as I own a corporation, so I have to be, but people get too serious and they're never going to make it out alive! LOL

PS Even in grad school, I had one prof tell us if we needed a "mental health day" then he considered it an excused absence. ;)

Absolutely! Of course they can miss school. We used to go on week-long vacations in the middle of the school year, even when I was as old as 13 and my brother was 16.

My parents occasionally took us on family vacations that weren't during scheduled school breaks because those were the only times they could schedule the family trips. My friends' families did the same thing.

My best friend does it twice a year with her kids, and I know of a couple of families in my town that do this occasionally at the end of the school year and beginning of the school year so that kids miss the first/last week of school. The kids are no worse off for wear.

If the opportunity came up I wouldn't do it unless I felt I had no choice because transitions are extremely difficult for my middle daughter already due to her autism, and vacations home and back to school are hell to begin with. I would much rather minimize how much school my daughter would miss and the frequency of the trauma of transitioning. But that's unique to us.

Assuming your child is typical then I wouldn't skip out on the family vacation. Just let your child's school aware of what's happening so that they prepare the work for when she gets back to be made up.

Totally Okay...just do not overdue it.....lol. Just coordinate homework or test with her teacher.

I don't take my kids out of school for trips, vacations, outings, other than a couple of half days for college visits but my daughter actually gets three passes for those this year so it is considered an excused absence. Quite frankly, I never wanted to give my kids the idea that if you didn't feel like going or just wanted to take the day off and do something else, you didn't have to go to school, because once they are in high school (and my oldest is), they might think it's perfectly fine to do that on their own.

When our kids turn 10, my mother takes them to Washington DC for a week. It's always during school, and they accept "educational trip" as an excuse. Have your child write a bit about where you guys are going, get a souvenir or two to bring in to show the class and he should be good to go.

Poor Stacey B. Is life always so cut and dry for you? Do you always follow the status quo? :(

It's your choice as the parent. Personally, if it's something I could do another time during a school break, I wouldn't pull them out. If it's very rare opportunity to travel someplace special you know you would likely not have the chance to do in the future, maybe OK. I would say maybe OK *if* you know your child is a good student and will not struggle with the make up work and fall too far behind. The younger your child, the better. In the younger elementary years, I was probably more rigid than I needed to be about never pulling them out. Those easier years go by quickly. It's so much harder to do pull them out once they hit middle school. Even one day missed can cause grades to drop. I don't even schedule non emergency medical appts during school hours anymore.

we do it a lot traveling during school breaks are touch for booking and prices are all up. so we always do. i give the teachers a few weeks notice, they get their homework ready, which we bring with us. so i see no problem with it.

From a teacher's point of view (I taught elementary before I had my son):
The teacher may be a bit annoyed/pissed. I mean, that's a few assignments that the kid will miss or have to make up in some instances. There may be a big demonstration or lesson plan that the teacher will be upset that the child missed, therefore missing the valuable information. If you let the teacher know that this is a 'once this whole school year' kind of thing, and ask for any assignments ahead of time ("We can turn them in on Monday") then the teacher should not be/act so annoyed.

From a parent's point of view (I just have one 3 yr old now): two days of school won't ruin the child's whole schooling. It will teach the kid that family time is valueable in addition to their schooling being important. Perhaps keep education in mind during your trip (playing a math game in the car, talking about science/trees/weather/pollution/etc while you are driving, helping the child count money when you buy someting on the road or during your trip). Fun car game ideas here: http://www.momsminivan.com/

added: I do agree with 8KidsDad that if your child is struggling with school, possibly failing, then not a good idea. As and Bs - go enjoy your trip.

Hi,
I see you've already decided to go and I say YAYYY!!!

Last year my daughter was going to go to TX w her grandparents. She SHOULD have been out of school, but the snow days we had added an extra week. Which of course conflicted with the planned time. I spoke to her teacher and we both agreed that this one time chance should NOT be passed up. She has a week of phenomenal memories of a really fun time she had with her grandparents, as well as a cousin her age that got to go too.

School is IMPORTANT so very true...but there are always exceptions to the rules. I hope you have a great time!!!!!