I am wondering what is the right and moral thing to do. I have had a dog for 10 years, he is a lab/chow mix, I have had him since he was a pup. 17 months ago I had a little girl my one and only. My dog has never liked kids but has tolerated them. He hates my little girl. She loves him. She tries to pet him and lay with him. He always bares his teeth or growls at her. I discipline him when he does it but he won't stop. Today he was laying on the floor at my feet and the baby went up to him. He snapped at her! I am thinking it is time to find him a new home with no kids but will miss him terribly. Am I thinking the right thing? I appreciate any advice you ladies can give me.
I don't know if you have the time but try some Cesar Milan books and DVDs. Sounds like this dog thinks he's the boss.
Cesar has some amazing techniques that can work in a day or two. He has a TV show on the Nat'l Geographic channel - I've learned a lot and my dog has too. All with no punishment, yelling or anger.
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M.H.
answers from
Boise
on
I don't know if this will help, but we have a cat that didn't like kids at all and so my husband put a little bit of baby oil on the top of his head, where he couldn't lick it. The cat got used to the smell and got used to the kids. If he didn't we would have gotten rid of him.
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J.R.
answers from
Salt Lake City
on
You are right to feel that everyone needs to be in an environment that is conducive to their safety and happiness. Doggy without little ones and little ones with a pet that appreciates active children. It's hard, but it just means you love them all enough to know where they would be happiest.
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C.N.
answers from
Salt Lake City
on
F.,
How would you feel if your daughter was malled by your dog?
It sounds like you will not be able to change the dogs behavior, therefore since getting rid of your child is not an option it looks like it is time to say goodbye to the dog.
With my whole heart,
C.
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C.H.
answers from
Denver
on
The dog is dangerous to your daughter. You must remove him from your home. I'm sorry.
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H.F.
answers from
Pocatello
on
I don't think that it is nessesary to get rid of your dog just yet, but you do have a very serious problem on your hands. One that should have been dealt with right when your baby was born, but it can still be helped. Get in touch with a professional dog trainer, your dog seems to have no respect for you as the alpha, he thinks that he is in charge and that you are his subservient female, it is hard to hear that but it is true. Until you can establish yourself as the alpha your dog will continue to disrespect you and could potentially harm your baby. Once you are established as the alpha you can teach your dog that the baby is also dominant to him, the baby should be able to do anything to the dog and the dog should not ever even try to fight her or growl at her. If you are not willing to put in the work to fix your own behavior as well as your dog's then I guess you should give him away, it just depends on what you really want. Good luck!
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E.B.
answers from
Denver
on
Chow is listed as one of the "dangerous" breeds along with Pitbull, Doberman, etc.. Please, I know it's hard, but for the sake of your baby, please find this dog a new home. You never should have to wait for something horrible to happen to make an even more horrible decision.
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A.G.
answers from
Pocatello
on
Ok so I am an animal lover but if I had a dog that snapped at my baby that dog would be out of there in a heartbeat! When it comes to animals over humans there is no contest. I would just fine a nice home like you said with no children. And as you little one gets older and more interested in playing ruff you really can't take that chance that she could be in danger. So find a nice place for you dog and spare your daughter a bite.
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K.K.
answers from
Denver
on
Hi F., Call Bark Busters right away ###-###-#### in Denver. You do not have to get rid of your life long friend. I have two dogs and the largest was viciously biting the little one. After crying at work, thinking of the loss of my dog, someone told me to call Bark Busters. (I hated it when I cried at work)! The trainer walked in and had control of my dogs without even speaking to them. He showed me what to do and what I was doing wrong. All of a sudden they were best buddies and I was the leader for a change! It cost a little but it is for the life of your dog and with a little work on my part it changed our lives! They don't even bark outside unless I choose that the time and the reason for their barking is a good time. I mean a dogs gotta bark sometimes, Right? I did not feel that I could just pass my dog on to someone else along with their inapropriate behavior. I loved them so much. All you need is some training but get it today! And keep the dog away from the baby until you call them. Good Luck! K. K.
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J.F.
answers from
Billings
on
It can be a really difficult transition when you have a pet and then children. Ultimately though, your dog is just a dog, and your child should be the most precious living creature to you. It is obvious that your dog will not learn, and the fact that he has shown aggression towards your daughter more than once should be concerning to you. Re-homing your dog is the right thing to do. It may be difficult for you, but think of it this way...what if the next time, or the time after that he bites your daughter, maybe in the face. Could you live with yourself then? This happened to a friend of mine, and now her daughter has a facial scar that while she has to look at everyday, that her daughter has to live with everyday. It's much better safe than sorry, especially when it comes to your children!
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K.S.
answers from
Denver
on
I highly agree with everyone who says that you are in a dangerous situation. Your dog has warned you several times now and the next time will probably not be a warning. However, I do not agree with those who say he cannot change. THIS IS NOT TRUE. He simply believes that he is the leader of the pack and is trying to tell a young one to leave him alone. Since your daughter is not a young canine, she does not understand. She is old enough; however, to be taught how and when to approach him. With a lot of repetition, she can figure it out. However, the dog also needs to learn that he is not the boss. Check out anything you can from Cesar Milan, The Dog Whisperer. His show is on at noon on the National Geographic Channel everyday and new episodes air on Friday nights, I believe. There are also books and videos you can get on Amazon.com (or even the library?). He is fabulous with cases such as this. He can teach you how to teach your old guy to be calm and submissive toward your entire family. Please try this first before considering giving your old pal up, but be sure to keep him and your daughter apart until then. This could escalate quickly into a dangerous situation for both you and your daughter. It is difficult to find a new home for older pets, so I hope you will try really hard to work with him to accept the new pecking order that you want, not that he has made.
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S.S.
answers from
Cheyenne
on
F.,
I know you have lots of responses, but I thought I'd write to give you some support versus just being mean, making assumptions that because you didn't just drop the dog first that you don't care about your kiddos.
In my family, our dogs are like our kids and are treated like one of the family, so I know the attachment of your dog, especially after 10 years. I would agree with those that say give your dog a chance, put him outside a gate so that he is near the family, but not right next to the child and give him a little time to warm up to this new moving thing that is disrupting HIS 10 years of life as an "only child" (we don't give away a kid who shows jealousy and hits his new baby brother or sister, right?)...maybe in a few years he will get more used to the kiddo as he gets bigger and learns more respect for the dog (remember, there is always an exception to the rule...and doberman who is sweet, a rotweiler who acts like a baby, so don't give up on him just because he is a chow...after all, he is part lab too), get him training, exhaust all the options first...I know I would.
We have a little mini Doxie (3 years old) who is a little nervous around my toddling almost 1 year old (and my almost 3 year old neice) who growls occassionally- more of a nervous rather than mean growl, but she does let him play near her and will occasionally let him touch her. She is very tiny and he towers over her now and both kids tend to overwhelm her because they always want to touch her and pick her up, but my husband and I will hold her and pet her head while the other will help our son pet her back gently. She is getting better every day. She also always has an out so if she gets overwhelmed, she can crawl under the couch or if she growls too much, we put her outside the gate so she learns that if she growls, she has to go away from the family.
We did get a new puppy too, a lab/collie mix, that can grow up with our son and with the hope that it will help the Doxie adjust a little better. I also make sure I pay lots of one on one time with the Doxie when the baby is in bed too.
Good luck and I know you will make the right decision. Do what is right for your family...dogs and all! If he is having too much trouble adjusting and you don't want to give him away, can you put him outside, like in the garage or something? Just another thought...
I do agree that you would feel really bad if you child got bit, as would I with my kids, but it does sound like you are well aware of your dog's jealousy and are keeping a watchful eye out!
S., 25, mother of almost 1 year old boy and 3 doggies (lab/collie puppy, mini Doxie and mutt who stays outside because she is a cowdog puppy and has too much energy for inside right now and not enough formal training yet for chewing, but we are working on her too)
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C.C.
answers from
Salt Lake City
on
I wonder how many proponants of the you have to get rid of the dog club have dogs? I have 2 myself--and only one little girl. I had a lot of people tell me I was a bad mom keeping my dogs with a baby after my lab nipped at a neighbor girl who unlocked his crate and climbed in with him. She had 4 stitches in her thumb. It was really hard knowing what I needed to do. He was hit by a car and was healing from broken ribs at the time and his temperment was off. Any time a 2-3 year old came near him he would growl after that and bare teeth. We kept him away from kids and I did a lot of reading, and watched the Dog Whisperer and watched how he changed truly vicious dogs into well behaved animals that were perfectly fine around children because of enforcing pack law-- we did it already to some extent but went high power with it at that point. made sure never to feed the dogs before we ate. made sure they saw the baby get food first. in fact giving her a treat then myself then the dogs, they understand pack law. They are happiest with pack law, and we firmly established my dd as an alpha dog. I didn't know if it would work but I had to try before I could honestly give up my dog...he got me through miscarriages, marital discord, he was there for me through my bed rest--truly a saving grace in my life. I watch my nephew in the mornings now and my dd is almost 3. We still have the dogs, the nephew is 8 months. That dog gives the baby kisses. Of course you have to be wary whenever kids are around an animal the way they say knock it off to each other could break skin on a kid. However I don't have to keep them completely seperated--and my dog has never had any problems since then and has never been in the least bit aggresive towards my dd. He's great around other kids now as well and is excited to have realized that dd can now throw his ball. He is younger than your dog to be sure, but that animal instinct is stronger in them than any other force. They respond to pack law, I don't know what your answer will be, and of course protect your baby, you are the mom and in your gut you are going to know what you need to do for your situation, however I would just look at all your options before letting your beloved dog go. You won't endanger your baby that is obvious by your concern in your post. You are obviously a great mom and a great pet owner. I do know that dogs can be brought around to the pack law, pecking order, alpha dog however you want to describe it--because it is the most natural thing in the world for them. I was amazed at how quickly my dogs responded to it--simple things like making them sit before exiting or entering the house, getting your permission--make such a huge difference! the dogs are happier, we are happier and I get to keep my pets and have a safe environment for my dd as well. Good luck and please let us know what you decide and how things are going. I know that Ceaser Milan has at least one book out now, he didn't at the time I went through all this but I gleaned a lot from his show and his website which had just started at the time.
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H.G.
answers from
Denver
on
Hi F.
I am sorry that you have this dilema. Unfortunately, I think you are going to have to find your dog a new home. That unpredicatable, violent behavior is just too dangerous! I think you would be crushed if your daughter was bitten by your dog!
Kids naturally gravitate to dogs, perhaps you could find a dog that would be loving and gentle with your little girl. Even if you have complete confidence in your dog, never leave the dog and the child unattended!
My dogs are great with kids, but sometimes get nervous around my daughter (19 months). They don't react badly to her, but I just know when it's time to put them upstairs "out-of-sight-out-of-mind" of my little girl.
I know it is a tough decision as your dog is part of your family, but this is a risk that is not worth taking. This aggresive behavior is almost impossible to train out of dog and since you said there is a history of not liking kids, I just think it's time to find him a new home.
H.
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N.S.
answers from
Pocatello
on
You are thinking right. Your daughter's safety is far more important than a friendship with your dog. You would walk away from a human friend in a heartbeat if you found out they posed a danger to her... If she was older and bigger, you might be in a position to seek training, but she's far too small and young to take the risk of him attacking her. Her safety is truly in danger with your dog still in the house. You may miss him, but you will never forgive yourself if he does harm to your sweet and precious, and totally dependent upon you for her safety, daughter. Much worse heartache. Good luck.
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J.B.
answers from
Denver
on
I can relate to your situation. We got a Sheltie shortly after getting married. When we had our son 5 years later, everything went fine. However, when our twin daughters came along 2 years after that, things changed. The dog was fine until the girls were about 15 mos old and were toddling everywhere. We had a couple of snapping incidents and started keeping the dog on the outside of the baby gate perimeter we had set up on the first floor of our home. Within a couple of months I noticed that our beloved dog was pulling her fur out. I would find tufts of it everywhere but it wasn't typical shedding. We realized that keeping her separated from the rest of the family was depressing her. We ended up going through a Sheltie rescue organization to find her a new home. We still feel (6 years later) that it was the best choice for her and for us. Good luck in whatever you decide.
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D.S.
answers from
Denver
on
ABSOLUTELY. If you didn't try to train him to like kids before your daughter was born, and he has SNAPPED at her, then yes he needs to go. I have 2 dogs. I'm due in April, one loves kids the other can go either way. I'm acclimating her to lots of kids and action now. If she can't deal wehn the baby gets here, she's going to a new home just like yours. It is a moral decision because you're not putting him down for his actions, he just needs a different family. As she gets older, she's going to want to play/ attack him more and it may be worse than just snapping at her.
Your daughter comes first. My dogs are absolutely part of the family and in pictures and sleeps in our bedroom.
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S.L.
answers from
Pueblo
on
F.,
I would say get rid of the dog NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! Before it bites your daughter in the face. My daughter was bit in the face by a dalmation that belonged to a friend of mine and she is now 24 and there still is a scare. You can always get another pet later.
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R.S.
answers from
Denver
on
F., follow your instinct even though it hurts....you know how you would feel if something did happen. (Your dog is 10 so he would probably be happy somewhere calmer)
Goodluck!
R.
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M.B.
answers from
Grand Junction
on
I'm sure it is very difficult for you to make this decision but let me share a story from a friend of mine. Her daughter was attacked by her sister-in-law's springer spaniel. When she was called to the hospital all they told her was that her daughter was bitten by a dog. When she walked into the hospital and saw her daughter she broke into tears saying that is not my child. The dog had mauled her two-year-old beyond recognition. The child had to undergo extensive surgery to repair the damages. To this day her daughter asks her mommy am I ugly. I can't make this decision for you but if you have any inkling that this dog might attack, you need to watch your child's best interest. If you give the dog away I would also warn the recipient of its tendencies to avoid damage to someone elses child. Look within yourself and do whats right for your child. If something does happen I don't know if you could ever forgive yourself.
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A.J.
answers from
Salt Lake City
on
You have to think of your child first. Her safety is your most important concern. That said, he is 10, have you considered that fact that he could have arthritis? Maybe it is just painful to have her climbing and loving on him. In that case your vet could prescribe a medication like Rimadyl for him. 10 is getting pretty old for both labs and chows, it it would't be wrong to also consider euthanasia. It would be very hard for him to adjust to a new family at this age, and the stress could cause him to become very sick anyway.
Read this link! It is by a professional dog trainer and I think he would tell you that the dog is going to bite your kid's face or neck next. I would get rid of the dog rather than risk your kid losing an eye. Hope this helps,
Marci
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P.L.
answers from
Salt Lake City
on
A lab (supposedly great with kids) bit my 2 year old so badly across his nose/face that he has needed 2 plastic surgeries. If you already know this dog has issues, it's time to get him out of the house. You really don't want to have to go through what I went through. My son is permanently scarred by a dog that was a little unstable around kids too.
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S.K.
answers from
Denver
on
You must find him a new home today!! If one thing happens to your baby, you will never forgive yourself. Your baby could be scared for life or WORSE! Your dog is giving you lots of warnings. Save them both, DO IT TODAY!!! It is the right decision!!
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M.B.
answers from
Denver
on
What a tough decision! The best thing for the dog and baby would be to find the dog a new home. I know it is sad but pets need attention too and it is hard once you have kids! And he may bite your baby which could leave a scar. I know it is hard, you love your dog! maybe if friends could take him you could still see him!
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J.
answers from
Provo
on
So someone resently had the same situation the asked about and I think the same thing even after all the other people responed. Keep the dog unless your really concerned. Does have an Alpha order and your daugher, well she is considered the lowest ranking in the pack. Your dog needs to learn that she (the dog) is the lowest ranking in the pack.
Also, I don't think your dog HAS TO like your daugher but she does have to take her place in the pack. We did many things with or dog with both of or children to inform the dog that she is the lowest ranking and like it or not take it or leave it. I am sure there are books on the topic but we did:
The dog couldn't get even close to the baby unless it was on our turms.
The dog was corrected any time she behavied in an agresive way when being touched by the baby.
You dog is behaving just as a dog should. You've just got to be the Alpha Dog and set your dog in her/his place.
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K.J.
answers from
Salt Lake City
on
i think giving him to another family is very merciful to your dog. if you don't think he will learn, then that might be what you need to do.
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M.C.
answers from
Denver
on
To answer your question, YES, it's right to get rid of your dog. I know it is tough, but as you know, your responsibility as a mom is to keep your daughter safe. Good luck finding a new loving home for your dog.
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S.W.
answers from
Salt Lake City
on
I notice you are in Ogden. I suggest you contact Don's Pet Care (it's right off 12th Street) and schedule a private training session with Dona Sellers. She will be able to work with you and your dog and give you a professional assessment of the situation. She will be able to include your daughter and work with you both for over an hour and give immediate feedback.
I am deeply impressed that you feel a moral commitment to your dog. While you child must come first, I believe it shows your depth and sensitivity as a parents and human being that you would not throw away a friend without careful consideration. Don't Pet Care isn't fancy, but they've been in business for a long time. One of their staff members, Geri, worked in California with Guide Dogs for the Blind. Chows tend to be one-person dogs and Dona and Geri might be able to see if there is a way to manage that in your house or if it really is time to consider last resorts.
Not to sound harsh, but it would be hard to find a home for a 10 year old Lab/Chow mix. . . the shelters are full and a big dog with issues would surely be overlooked and ultimately euthanized. Unless you have a personal contact who would be interested in adoption him, a trip to the shelter would be a death sentence. A vet chek to eliminate physical sources of grumpiness is also a good idea.
Best of luck!
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K.H.
answers from
Salt Lake City
on
I think you are right. I think it is time for the dog to go. Your child is so much more important, you wouldn't want to risk anything happening to her.
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R.M.
answers from
Denver
on
We had the same trouble with my daughters 5 year old terrier mix. The dog growled at my grandson quite a few times and would be disciplined each time. Eventually the dog bit my gs on the nose-he still has a scar 9 months later. YOUR dog could rip your daughters nose off-are you willing to risk that? THey waited until the dog bit him again on the hand. After keeping the dog away from the child, keeping him either outside or in his kennel. It became a pretty miserable life for the dog. The dog only has his growl to tell you he's not happy with the current situation. So you have two choices-get rid of the daughter or get rid of the dog. It;s a horrible choice I know-but you can't live your life in fear that your dog will injure your daughter, and he will. And frankly-you changed the rules for the dog. So why not give him the opportunity to be the # 1 with someone else? Your local human society will be of great help to you. DO NOT DELAY-DO NOT WAIT UNTIL YOUR DOG BITES YOR DAUGHTER!!!! I am sorry you have to make this choice-welcome to the hard part of parenting. I myself have had to give up 3 dogs in my past. We waited until out kids were 8-3 yrs old and got another dog. We had him for 15 years, and he was the best kid dog in the world. You can have a dog later- but now keep your girl safe. Good luck! I am the nanny in this household. Barb
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T.B.
answers from
Colorado Springs
on
Let me start this with we have 5 dogs. Our oldest is 11 years old. They are all memebers of our family. Now that being said. I would NEVER put up with an aggresive dog. If he is snapping at her it could easily move to a bite or worse! He could get ahold of her during a snap, even if that was not his intention. You will miss him, but you need to protect your daughter. I am sorry for this tough choice. It would break my heart too.
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K.E.
answers from
Denver
on
Thats a hard spot to be in. We love our kids and want to protect them but our critters are like our babies too. I like to believe that for better or worse ( and believe me I have have been tempted with our 3 dogs) we keep our animals because we make a commitment to them. She may be little now and wont remember but what sort of role do we teach our kids when we get rid of an animal due to a hardship. I also understand your fear though. If you want to try to keep him I would try talking to some dog trainers. Chows and chow mixes can be very dominant dogs and he needs to be reminded that you are the alpha and your daughter is next in line. Your daughter will have to learn to treat him with respect and honor his space. Never leave the two alone together and maybe keep them separated with a gate. Some dogs just do not like little kids, but once they get bigger the kids seem less strange and less of a threat. If you do decide it is better to find him a new home I would urge you to please find it yourself for him. That way perhaps you can still check in on him, and he doesnt have to go through the trauma of a shelter. ( One of my adopted dogs has abandonment issues and I had to work for a year to get her comfortable going in a car) Plus the shelters are so over taxed with critters needing a home. Overall it is your decision and you know his personality and you saw the reaction so you can better judge how volatile or not the situation is. Best wishes.
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N.H.
answers from
Provo
on
Try www.cesarmillaninc.com to access information to Cesar Millan's (the Dog Whisperer) info (Note the spelling of his name). I have been around search and rescue dogs and have watched these techniques work. Try them for the suggested minimums. Your dog will show you when he's ready to progress to the next task. At all times be observant when your daughter is around him, and teach her to be the higher level dog of the pack. I have watched toddlers who accompany their parents in the search and rescue dog training organization (they camp and set up training senarios in the wilderness). These kids use the hand signals and voice commands and body language emphases that establish themselves as higher in the pack. Some of these dogs are also of breeds that are normally more aggressive, but they obey the law of the pack. Perhaps you could contact some your local trainers-a pet store or vet should have a list, to get some more pointers. Remember that to us they are part of the family, but to them the family is part of their pack.
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P.H.
answers from
Colorado Springs
on
I love dogs, too. I've always had between one and three of them. I had to face this decision when my first child was born. One dog loved her and was as gentle as if the baby were her own puppy. The other dog growled, tensed, barked, stiffened, raised hackles, etc., whenever the baby made a peep. I tried working with the dog to calm her and reassure her. No go. I remembered a newspaper story about a pet dog that managed to get into the baby's crib and, out of jealousy, chewed the baby's legs off. The baby bled to death. When a dog resents a baby, it is too much risk to take with the life of the child. No matter how much you love the dog, no matter how long you've had the dog, it is a dog and the baby is a baby. I kept the motherly dog and gave the other one away to a good home. However, at 10 years old, you should realize it is unlikely you will find a home for your geriatric dog. Sorry to point that out, but it is true. The dog might end up being surrendered at the animal shelter.
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B.M.
answers from
Pocatello
on
I would not get rid of the dog just yet give him a little more time I also have a dog that has never been fond of children it took her quite a while to get used to my son but she did it she is a mutt and very stubborn but she did it she just ignores him now and if he wants to pet her she sits there and turns her head but she does not bite him or growl or snap at him it will just take a little more patience is all I really hope you dont have to get rid of your dog hopefully you find someting that works good luck
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H.R.
answers from
Colorado Springs
on
I would say go with your gut instinct. That is why we have them. I would not keep a dog in my home that has the potential to harm my children. I have two dogs, but I am not the dog person. I also do not subscribe to the idea that pets are people. I think that people are people and that they have a higher priority than pets. My older sister still has a scar on her face from when a cat scratched her when she was 3, over 32 years ago. Imagine what damage a dog could do. If you cant find a good home for your pet, take it to one of these animal rescue shelters. They have the ability to deal with pets with special needs. They will probably try to make you feel guilty but dont, you MUST do what is right for your child.
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M.P.
answers from
Provo
on
I recommend letting your dog know the pecking order of things in the house. The baby comes before him. If he snaps or is mean to the baby, he's punished and put outside.
My in-laws had to lay down the rule with their dog, and it worked for them.
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J.L.
answers from
Pocatello
on
I do think you probably need to give your dog to a new home; it's just too dangerous to do otherwise. It sounds like your daughter is in danger and as a mother your first responsibility is to keep her safe. Another option is to call an obedience training school and see if there may be any training programs that can acclimate your dog to your daughter.
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E.L.
answers from
Denver
on
You are thinking the right thing.
I hate to say it, but even though Labs are very friendly with children, Chows are not, especially if they have not been raised with children. They are territorial and very devoted to their owner, it's part of their breeding. It seems like the Chow part is the dominant personality. This behavior is probably not going to stop and it could get a lot worse. Chows are like pitbulls when they bite, they don't just snap, they latch on and don't let go. You can try obedience training but with a dog of his age, it may not take. I understand that your dog probably feels like a child you raised since a baby but he is still a dog. And your little girl is a person. I would give your dog up before he mangles your little girl. So sorry to put it so blunt. Best of luck.
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K.R.
answers from
Cheyenne
on
Fearther, I know your attached to your dog, but what is more important. The dog, or your daughter? Not that it bothers me or my husband, but when he was a toddler just starting to walk, he trip over the family dog and it mauled his faced. He had to have something like 25 stitches on his face. You would hate for something like that to happen. My husband and I have also had to get rid of a beloved dog as well. He became to agressive and starting snapping at our children. One of them even had to have stitches where he bit him. Luckily it was only 3. To me it sounds like the right thing to do giving the dog away. When your daughter is a little older, you could always get another dog, that is more kid friendly. I know it will be a hard decision, but it will be worth your child's safety.
K.
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B.
answers from
Boise
on
You HAVE to put the safety of your baby before your dog. I had to give away 2 dogs that I loved very much when we were getting ready to have our 2nd child. Different situation- they were nervous but ok around my toddler, but they were high-maintenence. It broke my heart for a solid 2 weeks, I cried a lot. But, I DID move on. I'm ok now and so are my kids.
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K.E.
answers from
Colorado Springs
on
You need to separate them as much as possible. I went through the exact same thing with our dog when our son was born. Your daughter is too young to understand that when the dog growls he is giving a warning to BACK OFF...it's not dangerous and in fact is quite typical. Our 9 year old dog snapped at my son just around the same age - we ended up putting baby gates up and the dog wasn't allowed in the same room with my son unless one of us was present. It took a couple of weeks but it worked - they were best friends until the dog passed away a couple months ago.
On another note - it would be quite cruel to re home your dog at 10 - especially since he/she is a bigger breed - they don't live much past 10. Please keep that in mind whatever decision you choice to make.
Thanks...
Kim
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L.B.
answers from
Provo
on
F.,
If you have any concern that this dog could injure your child you have a moral obligation to find a new, loving home for the dog. As a dog owner myself, I can appreciate how painful that might be, but you cannot risk your child's wellbeing over a dog that does not accept her.
In the alternative, you could try to keep the dog by making it clear to the dog that you and your daughter are the "alpha" position in your family because your dog's aggressiveness may be related to the possibility that the dog thinks he is higher in status than your daughter. If this is the problem, some training might be the solution. You might want to consult a dog trainer to help you with this.
Whatever you do, you cannot allow the dog to endanger your daughter.
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D.F.
answers from
Pueblo
on
I wouldn't send him away unless he is really a danger. He's part of your family, sees the baby as a threat (which, let's face it, she is), he's a senior dog who's probably also letting her know he's hurt easily and wants to be left alone. Best bet would be to keep them apart. Give him tons of attention, but not let the baby just cuddle around with him.
Push comes to shove, find him a new home. Not through the shelter. Again, he's a senior and will not be "desirable" in a shelter, meaning he stands a great chance of either being put down, or living the rest of his days in a kennel. For the sake of him, be sure he gets a very good, loving home that YOU approve of and where you can still see him from time-to-time.
I wish you luck.
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M.N.
answers from
Colorado Springs
on
I think you are right in that you will have to find your dog a new home. I would be so scared that the next time he would bite her. I know what you are going through and believe I will be facing the same issues in a few short months when my son starts crawling. It would be heart breaking to have to find my dog a new home but if it means keeping my son safe its a sacrifice that will be made. Good luck with your decision and with any luck, you will find a home for your dog where he can be the one and only!
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E.G.
answers from
Salt Lake City
on
Had the same issue as you.
Try retraining him before you give him away. Yes, old dogs can be trained!! Enlist the help of an expert dog trainer before giving him away. He deserves the chance to stay in your life.
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C.B.
answers from
Denver
on
No question - you need to find a new home for the dog ASAP! If you can't find a good home very quickly, you should take him to MAX Fund (a no-kill shelter). Your most important responsibility is to your child, and you cannot guarantee her safety around this dog. Good luck, I know this is hard.
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L.V.
answers from
Denver
on
I do think your families safety comes first, however I do not think you should give up on your dog. I have a 16 month old and two dogs. One dog does not let my son get to close to him and the other one has actually snapped at him. We decided to look into Sit Means Sit dog training and it has done wonders for our dogs. It is rather expensive, but worth every penny. Otherwise, find a cheaper training near you. Few people will love your dog as much as you do, especially since he is older and there are so many animals without homes.
Make sure when you are home to make sure never to leave your daughter near the dog. I would get a muzzle for the dog to wear for a while around your daughter. This will prevent him from biting her and hopefully eventually he will realize that she is not out to hurt him and will become more tolerant of her.
Good luck-
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R.K.
answers from
Salt Lake City
on
Simply put: Children FIRST, animals LAST. Your moral obligation is to your child, not your dog. Now, to just throw him out wouldn't be nice or necessary. Do find him a nice home minus children but you must protect your children. A dog can only "tolerate" so much, by now he's been conditioned to his reactions and won't likely change without more work than you're going to be able to give.
You know what to do, it's the inspiration we all get as Mothers...it's just that follow through is difficult because of the heart strings. Focus on your wee one's safety first.
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M.W.
answers from
Casper
on
Well I see that you have a lot of responses here, but I'll just give you my humble opinion anyway. :) If I were you I would ask around and take a little bit of time to try and find your dog a new and loving home. This way you won't feel like you are "getting rid" of him, but you are finding him a place where he can be happy! He can't be happy in your home with the new baby, and he is telling you that with his behavior. As the mother of a child who was bitten (and permanantly scarred, though it is a small scar) by a "wonderful, kid-friendly" dog (with absolutely no provocation), I will tell you better safe than sorry.
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A.H.
answers from
Salt Lake City
on
The fact that you are thinking about finding another home for the dog instead of just taking him to the shelter shows that you do love the dog. Older dogs have harder time adjusting to new things. I have to say from personal experience that a bite from a dog does have emotional repercussions. At 3 I was bit on the face by my uncle's lab. Thankfully to a good plastic surgeon, you can't really tell, but I still have trust issues with dogs and kids. I have a lab mix myself that has shown he is truly a kid's dog. But with your dog already showing aggression towards your daughter, I don't think there is anything wrong with you finding him a new home. It would be better for everyone concerned. If a dog bites once they are bound to do it again. I hope this helps you.
A.
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J.O.
answers from
Boise
on
It is definitely the right thing to find him a new home. What wouldn't be right is to wait until he actually bites your daughter (or another child) and has to be put down.
Essentially he's an old man and set in his ways... the likelihood of him warming up to her is pretty low. Do him, your daughter, and yourself a favor--find him a home with adults only. It's what's best for him.
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E.S.
answers from
Denver
on
You absolutely must get rid of this dog! Dog attacks can be devastating, causing permanent injury or death. I personally have a friend with a family member struggling to be independent as an adult because of a brain injury received from a dog attack as a child. If something were to happen, to your child or another, you would never forgive yourself, and could be criminally liable since you knew the dog to have aggressive habits.
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J.O.
answers from
Denver
on
Find a dog rescue group that will take him immediately. Your dog is showing serious agression toward your child and most likely never will. You might miss your beloved pet but how terribly will you feel if the dog bites your child?
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S.A.
answers from
Boise
on
You are in a tough situation. I love our dogs too. We have a boxer and a Boston Terrier. We are blessed that they both love children. However, if one of them snapped at our child or started to growl and bear his teeth, they would have to find a new home. I know it is going to be really really hard. I know. I had to find my dog a new home when I first got married because we were moving to California for school and couldn't bring him.
Having a dog that is not obedient to you and disrespects you by messing with your child is unacceptable. It won't be long before your dog will bite your child. I would try to find it a home with older children or adults. I would NOT put it down.
Another possibility you can do is get her in obedience training, or get the Dog Wisperer videos and books. Follow him, we do this with our dogs and he is wonderful. Then you won't have to find your dog a new home.
Something needs to be done. Whatever you decided I know it will be best for you and your child.
Blessings to you and your daughter.
S.
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A.E.
answers from
Salt Lake City
on
You definitely are thinking the right thing. No matter how important our pets are to us they are not children and a childs well being and safety comes first. You have already tried to help the dog accept your daughter and it isn't working both the dog and your daughter deserve loving homes but your daughters safety is definetly #1. Good Luck finding a new home for man's best friend. Maybe you can even find someone who wouldn't mind letting you visit or say hi once in awhile.
My friends in-laws had a similar dog who was fine with adults but didn't like kids and he eventually bit her son. Her son wasn't even doing anything to bother the dog. The dog just came up when they were laying down watching tv and grabbed him.
Good Luck on your decision.
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K.P.
answers from
Boise
on
Trust your gut. It is the right and moral thing to do to find another home for you beloved dog. He is unhappy, and is a danger to your little girl. Were it me, I would have found a new home the first time he showed his teeth and growled at my kid. I'm not one to wait and see what happens next. Your number one priority is to protect and care for your daughter. Find a friend or relative with no kids where your dog will be happy and you could even visit him from time to time.
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R.P.
answers from
Salt Lake City
on
We talked to the Vet about a Chow before. They don't like kids. They really only like one person and that is you. I don't think the dog will get better and may end up biting your child who isn't old enough to know to stay away.
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A.R.
answers from
Denver
on
What a hard decision! I agree that you should bring a trainer in to work with him. It's amazing how much I've seen that help other families. If you do need to go the route of giving him away, please do EVERYTHING you can to find him a home yourself. Craigslist is a great place for that as well as emailing everyone you know to email everyone they know. I used to volunteer in a dog shelter and it was heartbreaking to see how bad it is for dogs in shelters. Plus, the older the dog, the harder it is for them to be adopted. Good luck with such a horrible situation.
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M.M.
answers from
Great Falls
on
Unfortunately, you are right, F..
Your dog loves you as much as you love him, and he is JEALOUS.
To train him not to be this way is impossible.
10 years is a long time attachment, and it hurts, but if you find him a VERY GOOD HOME, he will be safe and fine,
because YOUR DAUGHTER'S HEALTH STILL COMES FIRST. You need to take care of her, in the first place, and right now, she is in a real danger!!!
As she loves dogs, my advice is: get a kids' friendly dog, a puppy, so that this puppy will grow up with your daughter as a family, and there will be no problem.
the VERY BEST babysitters ae NEWFOUNDLAND and SAINT BERNARD.
They are hure and cuddly and cozy and a great fun, and they always hang around kids, loving them to no end, allowing kids to ug them and cuddle and alo protecting them from any strangers.
I speak from my experience, F.: When my sons were growing up, we had a Newf: boys were playing with her all the ways they could imagine and she was always so happy! Later, when my daughter was little, we had a Landzeer, which is the same as Newfoundland, just a little smaller.
In between though, we had a Caucasian Shepherd, he did not like my little girl, and she just stretched her hand out to pet him, and he bit her: my girl still has this mark on her hand. We had to find another home for our dog, and as we always had dogs, we could not imagine to live without, so we got a landzeer (this is a very rare dog, but they are absolutely awesome with kids.
So, yes:
1. Your old friend needs to get into another good family without little children.
2. Your daughter is small enough not to weep over it too bad: make sure YOU do not weep, now !!
3. new Newfoundland or SaintBernard PUPPY in your family!
Good luck, do not cry F., all is well!!!
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L.C.
answers from
Denver
on
Hi,
I think the right thing to do is give the dog away to a home that does not have children. Protecting your daughter is your most basic responsibility, and unfortunately you have to give up a pet you love to do this important job.
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M.M.
answers from
Denver
on
I should not respond since I am not a "dog person." However, your child comes first now. I understand the love of a pet, but if that dog hurts your little girl, you will never forgive yourself. The animal is boviously showing signs of that potential. Do not hesitate. Do what is best your your daughter, not you. Obviously you will want to find your pooch a good home and match.
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J.F.
answers from
Colorado Springs
on
F.,
You received so many responses, I gave up trying to read them all. I just wanted to offer you my support. I feel for you, as I am a dog lover too--they are family. You must be feeling so sad. I would bring the dog to the vet to be sure there's nothing physically wrong. Chances are, though, that nothing is wrong physically. That being the case, I would seriously consider finding the dog a new home. He will end up euthanized if he hurts your child, and that situation would be so much worse. The only other advice I can offer is to contact Bob Warren at Mutt Masters. Not sure where you live, but he is located in Colorado Springs. Or maybe he'd know someone who could help you in your area. Good Luck. Don't risk the child being hurt--do something soon.
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C.C.
answers from
Denver
on
F. - Yes you are thinking right - you need to find a suitable home for your pet. I know you LOVE this dog, but your child comes first. You need to immediately separate them and consider this a life threatening issue. I am not just being overly dramatic. There are several dozen dog bite fatalities every year and almost all of them are young children.
This is not a re-training issue. Chows are identified as an aggressive breed and are responsible for bites more often than other breeds. Pitbulls, rottweilers, huskies, malamutes, wolf hybrids and german shepherds are among the others. A dog the size of a lab/chow can do serious harm to your little girl in an INSTANT even if you are right there with him. I am speaking from personal experience. My 2 yo just got bit in the face this summer by a little laso apso and the owner was holding the dog so that he could pet him. It happened in a flash. If a 10 pound dog could do the kind of damage he did to my son, I cringe to even imagine the devastation a big dog could have done.
My dad had a chow mix and my dad loves his dogs like people. He was annoyed with me one day when I asked him to take his dog to the back yard before I would bring my toddler into the house (his dog was a snapper too). I explained to him that Chimi could seriously harm my son with even just a very little snap and that I was not willing to take the chance on that. He would never forgive himself if anything happened.
Why would you even risk this???
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S.P.
answers from
Great Falls
on
While it may be hard to get rid of a beloved pet, you should think of your daughter first. I'd advertise that he is a good dog for families with no kids. It's only going to get worse and you don't want her bit.
I'd put an ad in the paper and get a good home for him. My sister had to get rid of two dogs or three that snapped at her kids when they were babies and toddlers. It's best. Otherwise your daughter may not only be hurt but become afraid of dogs.
I know this is a heart breaking decision but it has to be made. Good luck!!!
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C.J.
answers from
Colorado Springs
on
Chows as a breed are not known for their even temperments, especially with children. My family had a chow for a number of years and one day he snapped and attacked all of us; we ended up locked in a bedroom just to get away from him until my dad came home from work. The dog had displayed little signs of aggression here and there, but nothing really serious up to that point. The attack came out of nowhere. The dog was laying on the floor in the other room and all us kids and our mom were watching some cartoon on TV - next thing we know the dog is charging us and trying to bite. My mom ended up with monster sized bruises everywhere from trying to fend him off so us kids could get to the other room and my one step-brother ended up getting bitten because he didn't move fast enough. Then the dog acted as nice as pie when my dad came through the door to our apartment, until we tried to open the door of the room we were all in and he tried to charge again. The dog was not mistreated in any way, we always had dogs and they were a part of the family; sometimes seemed the dogs got treated better than some of us kids lol. But the dog could not be trusted any longer and was out of the house the same day. They are pretty dogs and seem so fun loving, and I have heard that some chows (like the cinnamon or buff color) are a little more even tempered, but I would never own another one because of the experience we had. I realize you have a mixed breed, but sounds like those tendencies of the chow breed could still be present given that labs are generally good "kid" dogs. I love dogs and animals in general as much as anyone, but there is no way I would keep ANY animal that displayed any type of aggression toward my child in my house. I wouldn't want to have to worry every time the dog was around my child - or heaven forbid, if I wasn't in the room and the dog attacked for some unknown reason. I can sympathize with how it could hurt to get rid of your dog after having it for so long, but the child is more important. Good luck.
We want our dogs to get along with our kids...but instead, your dog needs to KNOW that the kids is yours. ...needs to know that YOU are the ALPHA and the kid is under YOU ...not under the dog.
You can keep your dog if you get professional training. If you're not willing to spend the time/money/effort....give your dog up.
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C.B.
answers from
Denver
on
Who is more important the Dog or your child?
C. B
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M.W.
answers from
Fort Collins
on
F.,
Yes, it is time to give your dog to a childless couple or to someone that has a farm to put him on.
There are dog handlers that you could get to help you before you make the final decision to put him in a childless home.
Dog trainers can do wonders with dogs, and if they can not train him to stop snapping at your daughter then they can surely tell you where you can put him in a good home.
Good luck dear.
M.
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D.C.
answers from
Boise
on
Hello, and sorry to hear about this. I am really sad for you but what you have to think about is what is safest for you and your child. You would not get a dangerous animal and bring it home, well by keeping this pet, even as cherished as it is, you are doing just that. The only other choice you really have is to make your dog an outside pet. You could this but you would still have to keep the animal away from your child and her friends. I will pray for your family, this is like lossing your best friend.
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K.N.
answers from
Denver
on
You have a lot of responses here----obviously, a very sensitive and emotional subject for many, and especially for you. When I think of some of the things that could happen to if I were in your situation, I think of how would I explain to my daughter about being attacked by the dog and going through life potentially disfigured from such an attack? I personally could not bear looking at her and know I put my daughter in that danger----to me it's not even worth the risk.
And for what it's worth, actuary tables for insurance companies list chows (and chow mixes) as those with high rates of bite claims and many people who own these breeds of dogs, as well as a few other breeds, are denied homeowners insurance because of this fact. So maybe it's not your child but somebone else's.
And lastly, geriatric dogs can bite because they are arthritic and biting is the only way they can communicate. Even the nicest Golden Retriever can give a nip if they are pounced on. So not only could this be behavioral but also a medical cause.
Perhaps a family member or friend can take your dog? That way you can still see/hear how he is doing from time to time.