Is My 12 Year Old depressed?(WHAT HAPPENED)

My guess is that she is angry as hell about having cancer. Can you find someone for her to talk to or a support group for kids with cancer?

She needs even more help than a school counselor. She has cancer and may die, her dad is not in the picture, she is entering puberty/going through middle school (the hardest years) and her mom is having a baby. Poor girl really really really needs a good therapist.

What happened???? Your daughter is 12 yrs old and has cancer. I would be shocked if she was walking around happy and laughing. Geez I myself am depressed and my mom has cancer. This is so much this is beyond what a 12 yr old should have to go through. I as her mother would be over the top depressed and pissed. This is not fair. I would most def get her some help. Support groups with other kids going through the same thing. My god this is not just a fight with her best friend. Ofcourse she needs therapy and support and all the help in the world getting through this. Please call her dr. She should have a team all set up I am shocked they did not already set something up for all of you. This is not something you can just breeze through. God bless her and you. I am sulking and basicly crying every day about my mom and I am in therapy. If it was my daughter they would have to sedate me. Sending you prayers and strength. Praying she gets through this.

She has cancer. Of course she's depressed. And you've made cancer such a part of life that you go by cancermom. What's with that? I suggest that you get started in family counseling to deal with the stress.

Do you talk, as a family, about what is happening? About her diagnosis and prognosis? Have you been able to learn how to accept and manage the feelings that go along with a cancer diagnosis. Your family, more than the average family needs support as you deal with this. Ask her doctor for suggestions for a support group for her and your family. And get started with counseling.

It's hard enough to be 12 and to be the parent of a 12 yo without the stress of illness. Please do get some help.

Talking with the school counselor is a good start. Be sure she knows you're dealing with your daughter's illness.

One month out from being diagnosed with leukemia...yea, I would be pissed too!! Talk with her doctors mom!

**Four days ago you posted that you were worried that she was shy and her grades were falling. Later the same day you post she was just diagnosed with leukemia and you are afraid she won't see 13.

You want to take her to her school counselor for her depression?? Please!! Are you messing with us or do you truly think that is the best course of action? I don't know...maybe get a referral from her oncologist to see a doctor?. When my MIL had leukemia she must have had eight physicians.

yes, of course this is tied to the cancer. I'll take it yet a different direction. My daughter had lymphoma at 21. One of the drugs she was on is prednisone, and I'll venture a guess that your daughter may be on it too. It is a steroid, and at higher doses or prolonged time it causes mood swings, often over small, insignificant things. I can't begin to tell you of the times my normally sweet girl would yell, scream or flip out over small things, and I would just leave the room.

Honestly your school counselor is a good start, but I doubt that they can handle it. Talk to your DDs oncologist to be referred to a supportive care program. Many children's hospitals offer groups and counseling for kids and their families to help deal with the diagnosis and treatment.

It seems to me that what ever doctor she is seeing for her cancer treatments would be able to direct you to support groups and therapists who would have experience in dealing with teens who have gone though this.

http://www.chandlerregional.org/Who_We_Are/Community_Outr...

I am so sorry this is happening.

I would think this is a combination of things, she has cancer, she's in puberty and she is having trouble in school. I would look for a counselor who is an expert in dealing with children who are going through a life threatening illness. I am sure she is going through all the typical tween things and then facing cancer, she needs someone to talk to.

That's not depression.

If she has a fit put her in her room till she stops screaming. Don't yell at her just put her in her room.

I'm sorry for your family circumstances. I want to say to you that the school counselor is not enough for your daughter. She needs more than that. PLEASE talk to the oncologist and get a referral.

You know, lots of children live instead of dying of leukemia. It is important that you learn to handle your daughter now. As hard as cancer is, it's not an automatic death sentence. Yes, she is frightened. She's going through puberty too. You are probably afraid to tell her no. This makes it very hard to have a semblance of normalcy in your household and to teach her that she cannot run your household. You need guidance in how to take care of her emotionally, not just physically.

Please don't rely on the guidance counselor.

Good luck,
Dawn

Your daughter is depressed/angry because of what is happening in her life right now. I would have her be able to express how she is feeling, and talk to her about it. She obviously is dealing with a lot. Too much for one young girl to handle. It might be helpful for her to attend a support group, along with a psychologist. Someone outside of the family to talk with.

We had the same problem with my daughter when she was 11/12 also it was like flipping a light switch with her moods. she cried about everything... We took her to a Dr. and he told us that alot of teen girls around the starting age for their Period will have these emotions cause their body is changing emotionally as well...Even tho she is 15 now & has had her Period for 3/4 years she still has smaller episodes when it is close to her time.. When she has these episodes then & now we just sent her to her room to calm down & then when she felt she was ready to talk we would be here..Good Luck hope it all works out..

I would try ignoring the bad behavior. Just mumble to yourself (or talk to another child in her hearing) that you can't understand someone who is yelling, you just need someone to talk to you normally. When she lowers her voice, respond to her, thanking her for talking normally. Then give her options. Option A, have a different cereal, Option B, eat something else - fruit or popcorn (give her acceptable choices only), Option C, don't eat anything. Tell her that you will pick up her favorite cereal on (whatever day you shop). If she insists that she has to have her cereal now (and don't respond if she yells - only if she talks normally), then tell her that she is welcome to walk to the store with a friend or brother or sister and spend her own money to get it. Insist that she can not get a ride, and that she can not go alone. If she doesn't have the money, offer her some money to do an extra chore - cleaning the refrigerator, washing the cupboards, etc. If she says that she can't do all that, then go back to the other three options. Be calm, tell her you are sorry that she isn't happy, and have her choose which option. Be consistent - do not give in. She needs to have boundaries. She is probably PMSing. My daughter had PMS for 1-2 years before her first cycle, then as a teenager, we could count on one good week per month when she was reasonable. During that week, we had good conversations about how she was unreasonable sometimes and that it was hormonal and that she needed to think about that when she made decisions. But she CAN control her outbursts. And if she is shaking while angry, she needs to do something physical - situps, pushups, running, hit a punching bag, etc. She will thank you later for all of this. :)