Is My Daughter Behind?

Most kids can't sing the alphabet until after their 2nd birthday. The fact that she loves creative play and doesn't need a toy to entertain herself is wonderful. I think kids need to be kids and "forcing" education on them so young is wrong. Learning colors and shapes and singing the alphabet should be part of playtime. They will learn by seeing and hearing daily, but reading, writing and those type of things need to wait until age 4 or 5. Just my opinion.

I think she is actually a month ahead, by age 2 they should have 100 words and be putting two together into a simple sentance. knowing letters and counting are not even on the milestone list. Just enrich her environment, talk to her, read to her, let her look at stones, and grass, and dryer lint and talk about how they feel, how they smell, what they look like, and use a lot of descriptive words, that is all she needs. She has plenty of time to learn letters and counting, and it is not about what they can say, it is about the concept anyway, and no 21 month old has the concept of the alphebet. She is just fine.

M.

Nope. She's not behind. Every child learns at their own speed. And They learn the way they learn. I often felt like my daughter was behind because she did do the same things as my friends son who is her age. But I did discover that She did things that he didn't. Try not to compare her to other children. If you feel that their may be some other learning factors maybe talk to her pediatrician. But it sounds like she's learning. she's also still very young. May learning a game for her. She'll catch on and have fun learning. Good luck.

Oh my goodness! Even as a preschool teacher, I'm seriously starting to feel the need to start crusading AGAINST anything "educational" for kids under age 3! I'm sure your beautiful daughter is just fine. There is so much pressure put on parents now, through commercials, toys, learning products, etc., and it's making a lot of parents anxious over nothing. Looking at books and playing with blocks is exactly what an almost-2-year-old should be doing, developmentally. If she interacts with you and other people close to her, with eye contact, gesturing, some words, that's great! If she can use her words in a somewhat purposeful way, wonderful! The other stuff will come with time, exposure and interest. Enjoy your little one and let yourself relax! Have a great day!

A lesson to learn right now: Never compare your child to any other child!

Kids learn different things at different times and in different ways.

They basically all level out in Kindergarten as far as the basics.

Relax and enjoy her. And all her me-ness!

she is smoking mine he cant do that and his vocabulary is fewer words and he turns 3 in may. relax mom they learn in thier own time.

Remember to only compare you daughter to development charts/guides, to check for milestones. Although it's VERY hard, NEVER compare her to other children. They are in no way the guideline for what your child should or should not be doing. Children develop in different areas in different ways.

My daughter was a very early talker. She was speaking in phrases at 15 mo. and in sentences at 18 months. A friend posted on facebook that her son (same age) was drawing circles on command at 18 months. I couldn't believe it...my daughter couldn't do that until she was at least 3! When the kids were almost 3, she posted that her son's new word for the day was "yellow"! again, i was shocked. they were both developing different skills early!

Your child will learn those things when it's developmentally appropriate, in school. And, she will then understand what they mean!

No. Your daughter is doing just fine for her age. The fact that you've already instilled a love of reading in your daughter is proof. Pretend play and blocks are perfect for a not-quite-2yr old. She may just not be interested in counting to ten or knowing her alphabet yet. Try not to worry or compare your daughter to other people's kids.

singing the alphabet is rote learning - basically the same as singing twinkle twinkle or something, it is no measure of intelligence.
She sounds way ahead to me, my daughter is almost 3, and knows just a few letters, she can count 3 or 4 meaningful objects (not just rote counting, which again is no measure - she can rote count to 50)
not behind, most definitely

AT 2 years old there is a wide variety in all developmental phases.
A friend who taught second grade for years says not to stress about reading till second grade most that weren't earlyreaders are reading by then and things are more equal.
Just a reassurance my daughter at 23 months didn't have any verbal words. At 4 she can now count to 20, has an excellant vocabulary, knows her alphabet but still doesn't like to sing many songs and this is without preschool. So they do catchup on their own timeline.

No! She is doing great! Every child excells in different areas at different rates. I have seen many 3-5 year olds at your daughter's level and I have seen 18 month old children at your daughter's level. Every child is unique. The important thing is that she is learning, interacting and growing. She will more than catch up once in school. Please keep in mind that some parents spend a ton of time teaching their children or send them to daycare or preschools that focus on learning activites. There have been many studies published saying that children do better emotionally and in their education if they are started in school later and allowed to be children. So if a child is driven and has a strong desire to learn these things, then there is no harm in encouraging it, but if they would rather play and learn other things, you are by no means harming, delaying or causing any learning issues. In fact, you are nurturing the needs they have in other areas. Please don't worry! Sounds like she is doing great!

Oh, no. She sounds like she's doing great! There will always be other children that seem ahead, or more advanced. That doesn't mean your little one isn't right on track and very smart. She sounds really bright!!

At 23 months I would say your daughter is ahead. I had a 23 month old who was barely putting 2 words together in a little sentence and he was still in the range of normal. I wouldn't put so much pressure on yourself. It sounds like your child is doing very well.

Every child is different in looks, ability, development schedule, and talents. To under score this, I offer my son's development. He was what I call a sponge learner. Everything went in, nothing came out until fourth grade. He taught himself to read between 1st and 2nd grade, started to bloom in 3rd and burst into fire works in 4th grade. I was not worried or pushy because I did the same thing.

I had parent tell me he was kind of slow and they were sorry for me. His sister on the other hand was early in everything, reading, riding bikes, you name it.

When he finally burst into bloom and fire works I had those same parents tell me he must have been cheating. Can you believe it.

To make a long story short, when he graduated from high school he graduated with honors and was 2nd in his class after taking the hardest classes he could. He went to college on a debate scholar ship. So did my daughter.

So individual developmental schedules are just that--individual. Relax mom. You are doing fine. Love your child, take her places, talk to her. That is all you need to do.

She sounds perfectly on track. Don't stress at all. Just enjoy her. They all develop and grow and different levels - she's doing well!!!!

My kids only learned the alphabet in Kindergarten and how to write in 1st grade, and are both doing very well academically in Middle School. Intelligence has nothing to do with the timing of learning, everyone learns at a different pace. Interest varies too. In my opinion the best you can do for your child is to play with her, make her feel loved and secure, expose her to various activities and friends, and just let her be herself. Enjoy!

as everyone else said that is just rote memorization, doesn't indicate intelligence or future abilities. Did you forget to compare their fine motor skills and gross motor skills and levels of empathy? LOL My boys didn't know letters and numbers at that age. One wasnt talking much at that age but had fantastic motor skills. Now at 5 and a half he's beginning to read and write. Lots of things are more important at this age, language skills, vocab, learning about the world, creative thinking, social skills. Next comes shapes and counting three objects. I would call a child "behind" if he/she didnt know her alphabet midway through K.

No she sounds perfectly on track. My youngest turned 2 a couple of weeks ago and he doesn't sing the alphabet and he barely sings along, just a few words here and there. He is good at colors and will say 2 and 3 word sentences, but not much into singing along. He might count up to 3 but that's about it. Every child is different. Mine is really into his gross motor skills, but books, forget it. He still could careless about story time at night.
Don't worry mom!

My sons knew letters, numbers, colors and shapes very early-but were behind on speech, social skills and pretend play! One of my sons still receives services at age 3 1/2. Pretend play is very important, be happy your daughter is doing so well in this area! My 23 month old daughter is advanced on speech, great at pretend play, but can't tell the color purple from the number 4, LOL.

Please don't pressure your little to 'learn' as fast as other kids, or to read early. Most kids are NOT reading much of anything by two, and that's completely normal. The toddler brain is doing an amazing amount of development, even though much of it doesn't show up as things we can measure. The brain has an inborn pattern of development, and pushing that to happen faster doesn't really accomplish much.

If she's talking and developing a broad vocabulary, loves to play, enjoys reading, she's doing just great. Too much anxiety from Mommy, or getting her little self compared to other children, will eventually affect her confidence and willingness to learn.

Is your daugher an only child?
My son (though they say boys are slower than girls) stuttered and stammered and I know learned his ABCs later than my daughter. And he is just fine today.
My daughter was barely two and could say her ABCs and sing songs all the way through because she had a seven year old brother (my son) who was teaching her, her ABCs etc... When she was two I put her in a Christian school that had them memorize pretty lengthy Bible Verses every week...etc... today she has a photographic memory and is an actress and is always the first "off book" which means knows all her lines like it was nothing... even if she is the lead.
I feel that having older siblings and other things such as the school example I gave you makes a huge difference.
On the other hand my granddaughter barely knew her ABCs when she went into kindergarten. (By the way, my daughter's brother is her dad!) Today she is nine and the best reader in her class! My mom got her Hooked On Phoenics and I am not sure if my son worked with her on it or what, but she did end up catching up!
Don't worry. It's all relative.

I wouldn't say she's behind. Is she in daycare or any type of preschool? I would start involving her more in the learning arena with playdates, preschool or daycare a few days a week. Look for activities like reading time at the library, Gymboree playtime etc...You said she is 23 months? close to her 2 year check up. Speak to your Pediatrician about her development if you have further concerns.

ages 2 and 3 are more about fantasy play and speech development.My oldest daughter knew her alphabet at this time, but not my youngest. But my youngest is better at some things than my oldest was. Its all about personality, and what they enjoy.

Your friends son might be good at memorization, i doubt he understands the concept of numbers yet, and can merely repeat them. Your daughter sounds like she at the right amount of development. Actually i think her color recognition is pretty good, my daughter can only idetify 4 colors and shes a little over the age of two.

i wouldnt worry, these milestones put so much pressure on us moms, just make sure she is happy, healthy and engages in pretend activities, and conversation.

she is just fine! your freind's son *might* be advanced or gifted... but that could be a fluke. My daughter can say about 20 different animal sounds and names, knows 4-5 letters of the alphabet (out of order) and can count to two, or three on occasion. She can recognize several colors... but that depends on her mood more than anything. She has a large vocabulary (we lost count long ago).

at this age kids will each have their interests. Whatever INTERESTS them will be what they pick up and memorize the most. This could be based on whatever their parents react most positively to! a kid who sings the ABC song every day naturally will pick up the ABC's faster than a kid who doesn't.

Also, don't ignore the little achievements in OTHER areas that can show development. My daughter can do a real pull-up, somersaults and a lot of activities that take dexterity and body awareness! She can handle staircases by herself with ease, turn doorknobs and locks and even handle the TV remote and xbox remote (and know what she is doing)! She can make towers of blocks and can carry out complex patterns during pretend play. (she can feed, clean up, dress and put baby to bed in order, and then say "good morning baby" and do it all over again!) Intelligence is A LOT more than ABC's and 123's! A lot of kids who are "slower" in one type of intelligence are advanced in others!

More than anything, make sure your child is PROGRESSING. It doesn't matter how fast they are learning in each category of development, just that they ARE learning. if you are worried about a specific area, focus on it for a few weeks and chances are your daughter will catch right up! Don't forget that doing is a huge part of learning, so get out there and try to DO things with her!

I bet if you sit down and really think about all of the incredible things your toddler really is able to do, you'll be surprised. A friend of mine was certain her daughter had a speech delay! I sat down on the floor next to her daughter and said, "no she talks just fine... she is just whispering! tell her to be louder!" The kids with disabilities usually really stop progressing at one point or another. OR they even start regressing. If you feel this is the case... sure, call a doctor- but just because she can do all the stuff another kid can doesn't mean she is slow- it just means she is an individual!!!

Good Job Mama! (By the way, my daughter is 27 months (2yrs 3 mo). Her most recent achievement- full sentences and deliberate sneakiness- eek!)

-M.

Seriously? I don't mean to invalidate your concerns but is that boy the only child you have ever seen? Does that boy happen to be in daycare?

No, your daughter is not behind.

Do you have stairs in your house? My kids learned how to count because from the time they were babies, I'd count the stairs every time we go up or down (then they'd help as they got older). For learning letters, we have the LeapFrog Fridge Phonics with the magnetic letters. My girls have also learned a lot from Sesame Street, Word World, and the LeapFrog videos. I think they all learn at their own pace, and gain skills in a different order than each other. So, don't worry about it, just be sure to expose her to as many opportunities to learn as possible!

Sounds like your friend's son is either a smarty-pants or is being "hot-housed." My 2nd son surprised us by suddenly knowing 1/2 the letters and their sounds when Santa brought him fridge magnets when he was 19 months old. He literally learned to talk by learning the letter sounds! He learned them by default as his big brother watched the Leap Frog Letter Factory video.

By hot-housed, I mean that his parents are really working with him. I babysat a kid whose dad taught him the names of the president on each denomination of paper money. What useless garbage! Most people force-feed the alphabet and letters these days, hoping it will give their kid an advantage.

Because of my experiences with my boys, who never got force-fed anything and just ate up letters and colors and all that, I read a lot about gifted children. What I learned is that force-fed kids have an advantage in kindergarten, but they'll even out by 3rd grade. Gifted kids never even out.

Sorry, I'm sort of babbling about that now. If you look at what your daughter needs to know by the beginning of kindergarten, you'll realize that she's just fine, maybe even better off than most. Our kids needed to count to 20 (14-19 are hard!) know all the primary and secondary colors, and know the letters by name. If you decide to send her to preschool, she'll learn all that there. There were lots of kids in my son's kindergarten class who hadn't gone to pre-school and they caught up just fine.

Your daughter is doing fine. Everyone learns at their own pace. My dd was early on speech, counting, reading, but was lagging in physical ability at that age. Some kids focus on different areas at different times.

You can boost what she is exposed to her through her dramatic play and through the books you choose to read and talk about. Ask her questions and supply the answers in the form of yes or no questions your dd can answer.

I printed out a page of the alphabet in large type that had the correct letter formation that we conventionally write and used magnetic letters put in a bag. As my ds pulled out a letter, I said the letter and he matched it on his sheet of paper. We did this with numbers and lower case, too. He enjoyed playing the game with me at the table, it takes 10 minutes tops and when he was done, we did something else. The point is to have fun together, make it a game. (If you want an email version, I'd be happy to send you a file)

She's fine and normal. Every kid develops at their own pace so quit worrying and enjoy her for who she is now.

she's perfect! my son is just over two and a half he's was a fast learner with most thing i can not sing his alphabet but he can count to twenty knows more shapes than some kindergartners is potty trained and has been for a while he has a large vocabulary and understands more than a lot of kids his age things like (sarcasm) he gets more than a lot of 5 or 6 year olds.... my niece who is six just learned to count to 25 :-\ can not recognize her alphabet but can sing it knows a lot of shapes and is stiff iffy on colors.... there is a little boy down the street names jackson and he is one week younger than my son and he hardly even talks but he can do a cartwheel ride a bike and all kinds of physical things that my son isn't close to getting a hang of... my point is all kids are different and learn at different paces! your daughter seems perfect to me... love and cherish her and don't push those things too much because if she gets to school and all ready knows everything she will get bored and start to not care.... it's good to have a smart child but not too too smart (in my opinion) good luck and best wishes to you and your family :)

Your daughter isn't behind, your friend probably just works with her son more. It doesn't mean he'll be smarter when school starts.
If it bothers you, try reading to your daughter more often. Take her to story time at the library if you have access to that. Where I live they have toddler storytime every week and they sing songs and read books. Oh, and LeapFrog Letter Factory DVD is great for learning letters and their sounds!

Your daughter is fine.

(I'm always playing out in my head what my oldest could do vs what my youngest can do at the same ages. But they are both bright and beautiful. My oldest just was a little ahead of the game. Doesn't mean my youngest is behind.)

She is more than on pace! Don't get too caught up in comparing to other children... My son really didn't even talk much until he was three and I stressed a little about it, and at 4.5 years he scored 100% on language on DIAL testing for 6 yearolds. After a few "scares" with my son not being on pace, I have learned his learning style and have become more go with the flow. :)

OMG no. She sounds like a perfectly normal 2 yo. Whatever you do, do not compare children. They are all different and progress differently. Just
enjoy her and do no worry.

Everyone has growth at their own pace and it sounds like your daughter is just perfect for her age and is not behind.
You are doing exactly what she wants to do and there is nothing better.

nope :) sounds like my son at that age :) it'll come!

She is behind your friend's son in that area but it doesn't mean she's behind. She's probably way ahead on the pretend play (which you can't teach). If you are concerned, talk to her pediatrician.

There is such a wide range of normal at this age I wouldn't worry. Look up lots of tips that have already been posted on this site to help her advance more if you want to work with her.

Sounds like she's right on time to me. Some kids are visual learners, some are audio learners, and some are a combination, which would determine how fast a child can pick up on different things.

I love the term used by Susie L.--"hot-housed." Sounds like that is exactly what's happening and it is NOT good for kids in my opinion. A little interaction is good, but they should love learning for its own sake. I used to teach and I had a lot of "rote learners:" kids who were force-fed spelling words and math facts. I found they didn't perform as well on critical thinking exercises such as essays or exams because there was no one correct answer and they were scared to death of saying the wrong thing.