Is My Son the Only One?

I have heard about this before from another friend. From what her doctor told her, it was nothing to be alarmed with, it was just a discovery thing.

The first thing I thought of is he might be having uncomfortable feelings here or even mild pain and not know how to explain it. Could he be constipated? Could it be itching?

Wow, you've gotten responses all over the map.
I would not necessarily associate this with babysitter suspicions, although in general I would be wary of a sitter whose children are watching your child. But that's irrelevant to your question.
I am an MD and I can assure you that it is completely normal for children to feel all parts of their bodies. I feel strongly that it is very unhealthy to forbid a child from touching himself. It is confusing to them and can create issues surrounding their own bodies and sexuality. I have 2 little boys who love to be in the nude and touch their penises a lot, especially the 4 yo who is my younger one. He does not do this is public and naturally if he did I would talk to him about that not being an appropriate place. We have had to work with my older son (6) about his cleaning habits in the bathroom and in that context I have caught him touching his anus, presumably trying to verify that it's clean! I have emphasized to him that it is better to use TP for that particular purpose and that if he does touch himself, he must wash his hands carefully.
I have also repeatedly told my sons that certain parts of the body are private and/or sensitive to touch, and that no one is ever allowed to touch those parts of their bodies except themselves, without their permission.
It's probably easier to do this because of my job but I also feel that kids should know the proper names for their private parts and what they do (of course a full explanation of sexuality is not necessary or comprehensible at this age). I agree with one of the last respondents who suggested explaining the function of that area to your child. Kids are fascinated by medical stuff and your child may enjoy learning how his body extracts the good parts of the food that he eats and smushes the parts he doesn't need into poo-poo which travels down a long twisty tube and comes out his bottom!
Best of luck.

Its totally normal - children this age have an obsession with ALL the little holes in their body that their fingers seem to be just MADE to fit in (nostrils, ears, rectums, the vagina for girls). My 2 year and 5 months old daughter is obsessed with putting her fingers in her ears - and while it is much less gross than what your son does, know that he does not feel about his little bumhole the way us adults think of it - to him, its just another part of his body worth exploring. What makes it especially exciting for him is that it ilicits such a response in mommy - I mean, I know you said that you try to not give him any reaction - but Im sorry, even I would react more strongly to my child putting his/her finger in his bum than putting his finger in, say, his nose or something! Its hard not to react to something like because we know how unhygenic it is!
All in all, don't read more into it than you need to. He is a toddler, and I assure you, this is normal and a phase that he will pass out of - since you are in the middle of potty training, his attention is drawn to all of the workings of this part of his body when he would otherwise probably not pay any attention. I think it is worth telling him that, if he insists on putting his finger in his bottom, he will have to wash his hands AND use antibacterial hand sanitizer on his hands EVERY SINGLE TIME he touches himself.
Since you only have boys and no daughter experience to compare, I have to tell you, they are far more interested in their boy parts and butt's than girls are - it's just a boy thing. I've taught school for many years and their fascination with their parts below the belt NEVER goes away. LOL.
You have fun with that now ;)

Rather than telling him not to do it or ignoring it, can you try another approach? FOr instance, be interested in what he's discovered about his body. Ask him "what have you found here? What is the feeling? DO you know what this little hole is for in your body?" (And then tell him.) Acknowledge his interest in the area and let him know that sometimes it feels good to touch it, and it is for a very specific purpose. Every body has one. etc. Your being interested in his experience may yield some information about how he discovered it. Or not. Mainly, he just wants to know what it IS. If there was curiosity on the part of any other children (we don't know for sure), then your being interested and curious about HIS relationship with the area can match whatever may have occurred, and you can set him clear on how to be related with his body. You are his first 'teacher' so your loving and empowering words can replace 'the unknown' or 'the inexplicable' for him. He is not the only one.
P. Gale, CIIM
____@____.com

I can't believe that your Dr told you that he hadn't heard that often. Kids always check out their bodies, we all do. If there is something new on your body that you hadn't noticed before, you would check it out too right? Your son is just curious, plus his bottom is probably something that is normally covered during the day so when it is uncovered then he probably notices it more. I would say, nothing to worry about just curiosity.

Skimmed the long list of "dont worries" and other responses but didnt look like you got anything practical that you could use... When changing his diaper, give him something to keep his hands busy - ie, 2 crackers or whatever (gotta be 2, they have 2 hands!) a cool little book to look at, whatever would hold your child's interest and keep his hands busy. Maybe a picture book or mirror that he can only play with at changing time?

Also this (gross) story came to mind. When I was in jr hi/high school a friend confided in me how she came to stop sucking her thumb. She favored the one thumb and her mom painted nasty tasting stuff on it, so she decided to try the other thumb, but immediately spat it out as she had just stuck that thumb up her rear and it didn't taste nice!!!! Never put that thumb in her mouth again she said (but didnt say whether it ever went into that other part again.)

Anyway, I'd try distraction. Be consistent in distracting him until the habit of going there when it's changing time is broken - 3 weeks or so. Good luck. This is better than my neice's habit of fingerpainting her body with poop.

Kids have all kinds of weird little habits that come and go, so I wouldn't necessarily assume anything or worry about it. However if you worry about the babysitter you should keep an eye on that situation and see if other behaviors develop. If it continues to concern you, you could always just change babysitters and give yourself peace.

Congratulations on the step you have taken to be a SAHM!I had two boys (and a daughter); I don't remember them ever putting their finger in their bottom, but even if it is a result of something an older child has done, you can use it as an opportunity to teach about dirty places, and things we don't touch. The only other thing that crosses my mind is that my boys got pinworms at a young age which come out of the anus in the evening to lay their eggs and cause itching. That would probably be limited to bedtime, and would be a possibility mostly if your son has been exposed to cats.

Hi. He puts it inside? While I've never heard of that exactly, I have heard of children grabbing their own poo. I know one lady whose toddler took off her diaper and smeared the poo all over the crib and walls. I think this probably goes hand in hand with the masturbation stuff that toddlers can get into. Basically, their curiosity leads them to explore their bodies and the stuff that comes out of it. So, in short, as a mother and by no means an expert, this seems like it falls within the realm of normal behaviour.

My son is about the same age and I've seen him do this too. I've tried not to worry about it too much. I just change the diaper quickly, gently say "don't do that" while brushing his hand aside. I'm hoping it is just a phase.

My son is 2 years old as well and started doing the same thing a few weeks ago. I think it's totally normal and part of kids exploring their bodies. Like another person already mentioned, kids have no way of seeing their bottom but can feel that there is a hole there. It's intriguing to them because they don't know what it is. It also can be related to being more sensitive to their bodies as they start to learn to use the toilet. He feels that something comes out of that area when he poops and he wants to explore what it is. I'm not concerned with it for my son, but if your son continues to do this, just give your pediatrician or nurse practitioner a call. I think they'll calm any fears or concerns for you.

Hi S.,
My niece did this same thing at that age. She was the only child I knew that did that. (until now!) My sister-in-law would tell her that the bottom has germs that can make you sick and she shouldn't put her fingers there. Every time she did it she was reminded. She is now four and doesn't do it anymore. It is pretty gross, but part of exploring the body's cavities, like the nose. Just be consistent in reminding him. If he is doing it mostly first thing in the morning it COULD be worms, but I doubt it.
Good luck!
L.

Hi S.,
I agree with several other posters that he could just be exploring something that seems kind of cool to him right now for whatever reason. Just asking hum about it in a low-key, neutral way, as one poster suggested, could get you the answer you're looking for. I have not heard of this specific issue before (then again, how many of us would mention this in day-to-day conversation with the neighbors, etc.), but I do know that many kids are afraid to poop in the potty at first (many refuse for a long time). You mention diaper changes, so I'm not clear on where you are in the potty training process, but if your son spends several hours without diapers on and never poops in the potty, it is possible that he is working pretty hard to keep himself from pooping until he has a diaper on. Okay, now this is not breakfast/lunch convo, so stop eating if you are or wait to read the rest of this until your meal has settled... both this kind of withholding and/or straining to poop (which happens sometimes because withholding poop can cause constipation) can cause tiny tears called anal fissures. They hurt when the child poops (and can, therefore, lead to more withholding) and then itch during healing. It can become an ongoing cycle if the fissures don't completely heal (but do not create a rash as far as I know). If your son has had any digestive issues at all or if he never poops in the potty despite having his diaper off for long spans of time when he used to poop, fissures could be an issue. It's a bit of a longshot, but you never know. Pin worms little and white (look like tiny pieces of white thread or lint -- except they move), and they do tend to crawl out at night and can particularly cause itching later at night and in the morning -- other times, too, I think, but less frequently. I do not think they cause a rash. Kids that age, though, are generally pretty open to just saying, "My butt itches!" Kids can get pin worms just from standing barefoot in dirt or sand (I think -- not positive about sand), and are not a reflection on hygiene, parenting, etc. I hope you get to the bottom of this soon (no pun intended!), and have a happy Mother's Day!
K.

I agree, the doc must be new on the job. Kids stick their hands and fingers into every orifice and onto everything that sticks out. They like to explore their little bodies and some parts feel funny/good to touch and poke. I think that continuing the plan of not making a big deal of it is a good approach, since kids are silly, and if you show your alarm, they do it more for the reaction. Just wash his hands like you've been doing. If your child was trying to insert things or showed an interest in something more alarming, then you probably want to be concerned about strange practices at the babysitter, but in my opinion about what you've described, it's nothing to be worried about.

On the other hand, is your child digging in his bottom because it's itchy/ticklish? Maybe he has pinworms: get a flashlight out and check his little bottom late at night (that's when they come out.) If so, the pediatrician would give you an RX (probably for the whole family since this is really easy to catch from your kid because he's in diapers, and they get them from ingesting the eggs when they put their mouths on things.)

Take it from a professional. This is not normal. Ask the babysitter directly about this problem and then get another babysitter. I would contact child protective services as well and voice my concern: 800-422-4453.

Hi Stephanie,

I would peek into his diaper at night when he is sleeping with a flashlight to see if there are any worms. I heard that the mother worms come out at night to find "food" for the baby worms. I know its gross, but just to be sure he doesn't have worms-- double check.(the flashlight is needed because they don't like light and hard to see--so you have to just quickly check) Or take him to the doctor for a fecal test. Good luck to you!

Molly

Hi S.,
Thank you for being brave enough to answer the question. My son was 2 1/2 when he started doing the same thing. We were mortified that he wanted to do this and tried to discourage it everytime just by telling him that it was dirty and has a lot of germs. We always reinforce washing hands after touching private places. He got over it by the time he was 3, which to me meant that it was just a discovery phase. Be patient, this too shall pass.

Hi S.,

I just now read your concern. My son is almost 3 and has been doing the same thing for quite a while. I also had concerns about daycare. I think he just found a fascination and saw that I was a bit concerned. He is doing it less now, or it is an every once in a while thing. He does not complain of discomfort. I know this is not an answer, but you are not alone.

I. b.

Hi,
My kids hands often fly down to the privates region when they're being changed too. I tell them there are viruses there and they can get sick, throw up and have diarrhea from getting that on their hands. It helped. Hope it works for you too!

Hi! Just as an addendum...he can't SEE his bum hole! Even in the mirror brushing teeth or hair, he can see his ears, nose, and mouth. The belly button and nipples are easy. Bum hole? Nope, can't see it any way he looks! I know it's gross and you'll have to continue discouraging it for hygiene reasons, but I bet he's just curious about this body part that feels different than the rest of his skin and he can't see it to check it out!

Dear S.,
You do want to be very careful when your children start exhibiting bizarre behaviors, especially when they are in the care of others. But you don't want to go off the deep end. I have baby sat many children, and I would be horrified and worried about the PARENTS if a kid was doing strange things. Again, you can't jump to conclusions though. I do have some experience with children who have been "harmed" or had people do things to them that were horrible, and often they tend to not want anyone to change them or have access to their bottoms out of fear. If your son has no rashes or irritations or shows no fear, it may be something very innocent, although upsetting.
I had a friend, a stay-at-home mom, whose son was born exactly 10 days before my daughter. My daughter, although smaller, actually hit milestones a bit sooner. Walking, potty training, etc. Anyway, one day, she came to me for advice as her son was doing something she was terrified to even mention. During the potty training process, she let him run around without a diaper quite a bit. He developed a fascination for putting crayons in his butt. She was mortified. At first she thought it was an accident or he sat on one. Maybe even swallowed one whole and it came halfway out. I didn't really have much advice for her other than to put away all the crayons and talk to the pediatrician.
I guess it can be perfectly normal for a child at some point to understand that there is an opening in their body at their rear end. And they can come to understand that stuff comes out of that opening. If stuff can come out, they figure out that stuff can also go in. A crayon, a finger.....I guess in some cases it can be just a normal exploration of their bodies. Anyway, they talked to him about how that place is only for his stinky poop, etc and he totally grew out of it. It was just a fascination and I can tell you, the kid would be so embarrassed to know now that he used to think it was funny.
Good luck.

Many children are not ready for potty training at that age, and if it has been "going on for several months", he is one of those. The child who is ready to use the toilet will learn to do so in a matter of a week or so. You can't make their neurological system develop any faster by "training" them--he will do so soon enough, but at this point you must be fairly frustrated with the process! I would guess that he is pretty fascinated by that part of his body (as most kids are) and his awareness of it is stronger because you are putting emphasis on its use in a way that he just can't get. No problem--obviously this is really normal behavior, but you might back off on the potty training and let him come back to it in a few months to see if he is readier. The advice about worms is a good possibility, too, although worms usually involve an intense itching that can make them fussy, especially in their sleep.
When you are still in PJ's at 3PM, it is hard to believe that this time is limited, but it is--and it's almost over. They will grow up and you won't believe how unimportant potty-training will seem to you then. Remind yourself and your husband that you CAN still get all dressed up once in a while, and then revel in the days when you don't have to to go to an office! Good luck!