Is My Son's Daycare Being Neglectful???

If he was in wet cloths, he should have been changed immediately, no questions asked. I would speak with the director.

I ran an in-home daycare and yes, he should have been changed IMMEDIATELY!! Accidents happen, but leaving a child in dirty clothes is not only unsanitary, but can cause rashes on the child as well.

That is hugely neglectful!!!!! Report this daycare as well as tell all of the parents who sent their kids there what is happening. They deserve to know.

Nope, leaving him in wet clothes is not okay! I used to work at a daycare. Even when it was "busy" the children were the first priority! My question would be what was taking up the teacher's time that was more important than a child's health?
To answer your questions: at the end of the day the children we expected to be clean and well cared for (yes, they played outside, but hands were always washed when coming back in) If a child's clothing got wet (more than just a small spill that could quickly dry) they were changed instantly.
If I were you I would get to the bottom of this, it's a warning sign in my opinion!

Trust your instincts.
Always.

Call the county and turn the daycare in for all these violations. Bad staff can do a great deal of harm to a child. Once I went to pick up my five year old and found a big overweight "teacher" shaking a child. I did not know how dangerous that was but I knew it was terrifying for the child. I called the head teacher on Monday and the county. The woman was let go.
If the daycare is city owned they are responsible. If it is privately owned they are not checking their teachers. Reporting is necessary as our children cannot speak for themselves.

My 4 yo is always dirty when I pick him up. He's usually been outside playing, and like most kids this age, he's been stomping in mud puddles and rolling in the grass. I don't think this is as much of a consideration as the wet clothes. That is unacceptable. If my son gets any part of his clothes wet (with water, dribble, whatever) he changes them himself. His teacher is always fine with that. I would speak to the teacher, and then have your mother relay her experience to the school administrator.

I own a daycare center and YES that is unacceptable. Please report this to licensing in your area. If you are saying they have alot of kids that part is fine as long as they are properly staffed and within the state required ratio. In NJ the ratio for three year old children is 1 teacher for every 10 children. However, I always have a floater around for just these reasons or I handle these things personally. No child should be left wet, or soiled. I have had occasion where parents have come to me if a child has a dirty face and I do enforce to my afternoon staff that NO child should go home dirty. I would immediately address this with the director and insist that changes are made. If your son's needs are not being met then find a better center. Good luck!!

My daughter's daycare changes her cloths if she gets stuff on her during lunch so for the most part, she looks very clean when I pick her up. I have never had a time that I have seen them (or her previous provider) leave her or any other child in wet clothes.

I would find out what their teacher to child ratio is supposed to be and what is actually is. If they have too many kids, you need to question it...is it just for 1/2 hour or is it all day? Normally there can be a small overlap which would mean being over a short period of time but not all day or even most of it.

I would also inquire about the "don't have time, maybe after lunch" comment because that is unacceptable to me.

Now, if your son had just walked through the door and maybe he had to wait a few minutes, that is understandable as he is not the only child there. I know from experience that grandparents (or those that are like grandparents) do not always look at things from the standpoint of "there are 20 kids there and she has to take care of them all so not every need will be taken care of at that exact second". They tend to think of things as "my grandchild wasn't being taken care of" as quickly as they would have liked. So keep that in mind when you inquire.

They get an automatic "pass" or "out" if there was an ambulance rushing to take care of a child with a broken bone, police on their way for a child who had been snatched, or if there was a natural disaster.

Those (and variations in kind) are the ONLY reasons not doing an immediate change once in the building would be acceptable. Period.

"Too busy" with freakin' WHAT???

Edited to Add:

Whoops... in answer to your actual Q: My son was periodically filthy (our pickup time was during playtime outside, and my son has a thing for dirt), but always always happy and well cared for. Potty training was required at his school as well... but whenever a kid had an accident (or if they went splat in a puddle outside) one of the teachers would take that child indoors and get them fully changed and ziplock the wet clothes and hang them at the signout sheet, and we'd get a "brief" on what had happened at pickup. No guilting or shaming EVER happened when one of the kids had an accident of any kind. Instead... school practice was "solution". Okay, let's fix this! Granted it was a very SMALL school and the ages ranged from 2.5-6 so there was a lot of peer support & help from and for both the younger and older children.

They also had 2 sets of shoes. Their indoor shoes that stayed at the school, and the shoes they came to school in. So they never had to deal with damp ikcy shoes. and if they had a potty accident that soaked their indoor shoes, they just traded into their dry shoes while the wet ones were allowed to dry.

((Another thing I loved about this school was that no child was ever "bad" or having "behavior problems". Instead so-and-so is "learning to be a good friend", "working really hard at focusing", etc. One doesn't hit friends, so in order to be a good friend one instead does a, b, c, d, e, f, etc. A child isn't "not focusing", but instead learning how to focus and these are the steps/ skills they're practicing to learn how to focus, instead of being punished for not focusing. Totally goal oriented and solution based. It was SO amazing to watch children grow through this process of doing the right thing, instead of not doing the wrong thing.))

Hmmm... since you're local and in school (this preschool accepts UW and other school's daycare subsidy checks... the UW PAID for all 3 years of our son's montessori school sans about $100 a month), if you're looking for a school in North Seattle PM me. They only have hours of 9am-3pm (no "daycare" hours), so they usually have openings year round.

I had an in-home daycare and was a private nanny for years. Dirty, yes that happens--no big deal. I actually hate when parents bring the kids in these fancy outfits--they are kids and playing is the main thing we do! But, if a child got wet, they would be changed quickly. Maybe a 5 minute wait or something but that is it. I know they keep their shoes on during nap at a center because it makes sense in case of a fire, but they should be able to make an exception in this case while his shoes dry. The fact that the teacher said she might not change him at all or wait until lunch would have me very worried. My kids would get soaked regularly--walks home from school in the rain, playing in the snow during the winter, a big puddle they couldn't resist =) But I would always change them as soon as we got inside--some days you feel like that is all you do is change clothes, diapers, ect. . . but that is the job when you run a daycare. Get to the bottom of this or get a new center.

Updated

I had an in-home daycare and was a private nanny for years. Dirty, yes that happens--no big deal. I actually hate when parents bring the kids in these fancy outfits--they are kids and playing is the main thing we do! But, if a child got wet, they would be changed quickly. Maybe a 5 minute wait or something but that is it. I know they keep their shoes on during nap at a center because it makes sense in case of a fire, but they should be able to make an exception in this case while his shoes dry. The fact that the teacher said she might not change him at all or wait until lunch would have me very worried. My kids would get soaked regularly--walks home from school in the rain, playing in the snow during the winter, a big puddle they couldn't resist =) But I would always change them as soon as we got inside--some days you feel like that is all you do is change clothes, diapers, ect. . . but that is the job when you run a daycare. Get to the bottom of this or get a new center.

Wow, I've had an in-home daycare for 19 years. My child would never be in one like you've described. Dirty? yes, that's fine but I'm talking a couple grass stains, some dirt on clothes, etc. Face and hands should be clean unless you are picking him up directly from while he's still outside playing. Too busy to change him out of wet clothes? Unacceptable. Yes, providers are extremely busy but wet clothes would take precedence in my daycare or at the very least within 5 to 10 minutes wait max. You should be able to be at your job without worrying for your child. Expensive schooling/daycare does NOT equal quality schooling/daycare. I would pull him.

Get another daycare. This is horrible! If they don't have time for a simple clothes change, what do they have time for? It is so unkind to leave a child in wet clothes-- that is traumatic and horrible for your son. I would remove him from the school asap and report this incident to the licensing board. They shouldn't be in business if they aren't in the business of TAKING CARE OF CHILDREN. This includes ANY of their needs. Good luck. SO sorry you are going through this. As far as my kids, yes they come home dirty somewhat but not fithy and they are always changed if they are wet.

"It just seems like they do a poor job of meeting their basic needs. It is supposed to be a good school, but it seems like they have too many kids. Every day when I pick him up, his face is so so dirty and his clothes are filthy too."

I think you know what the answer for yourself is, in your heart. Here's my take on this:

Yes, if you think it's overcrowded/too many children, it probably is the case.

I run a preschool program and am pretty specific with parents that they should send their child in clothes that are meant to get dirty. Sandbox, paint, snot, food-- kids can get dirty. My group is 3 and up, and one of our focuses is learning self-help skills. To that end, I have them wipe their own noses and faces (if it's something that might cause a rash, like tomato soup/sauce or cinnamon, I will send them in to make sure it's cleaned off) and have them change their own clothes. At this age, when children are wet/soiled from puddles or pee, I have them change themselves with a little bit of encouragement and help from me.(Help, by the way, is holding open the plastic bag for them to put their wet clothes in, or I will help if underpants are soiled.) Otherwise, this is an age that they should be learning how to change their own clothes/get dressed. If I were that teacher, I would have had Jojo sit on a chair until he was ready to change himself and offer support for it when he was ready.

Is the daycare within your state's teacher:student ratio? And what is the support for staff?

Ideally, your child should have rubber boots on for wet days and shoes/slippers for inside. We have this at our school. Leaving shoes on during naptime sounds very sad; I've worked at facilities like this (it's likely an insurance issue) and there were other quality-of-care problems as well.

I should also add that, sometimes, children are not forthcoming about accidents and changing clothes. Just this week I discovered a child had 'leaked' in their pants and said nothing. When I asked when it had happened (the wet spot was only visible when they were sitting at storytime after lunch, when the child sat 'crisscross applesauce'), the child said they'd wet in the car before being dropped off! THE CHILD had chosen not to say anything to me because they didn't want to stop playing. (We had a subsequent discussion about getting changed right away.) And it wasn't noticable enough for either the parent or myself to see it.

If it were me, I'd start looking around to see what your other options are. Perhaps this is the best for now, but it doesn't sound promising over the long term.

J., Yes their doing a POOR job. I run an in home daycare. It's just me but whenever one of my children potty trained or not has a accident/dirty diaper that comes first. We always wash up and changed diapers right before nap and everytime we come in from outside. And as far as being expensive that dosn't mean quality care. You need to address this issue right away let them now and report it to the head of the school or owner this in not acceptable care. Also when they have accidents I wash the clothes, nothing worse than having a bag sit around with urine or feces in it.

I say if you've been at the daycare for a while, then I would talk to the owner/director about it and possibly give them an opportunity to explain and improve. If you don't get a satisfactory result, then find a new daycare ASAP. (If you just started with them, then just run, far and fast.)

I have two kids, age 5 & 2, that are both in daycare full time. They are both excited to go to daycare every day and sometimes don't want to go home because they have so much fun AND their needs are met. There are days when their clothes get dirty or there's leftover finger paint in the hair or not completely gone from a hand, but certainly not every day. And actually, our provider just recently requested that parents bring in rain pants and boots to stay there because she felt bad about the clothes that were getting wet or ruined and she wanted to be able to keep taking them outside. And yes, kids get changed into their extra clothes whenever it's warranted.

It doesn't matter how much you're paying, basic needs is the core requirement from any daycare. Daycare searches can be difficult, but there are plenty of wonderful ones out there and it's worth it to you and your son to find one of them. Good luck!

YES OF COURSE THEY ARE BEING NEGLECTFUL !!!! Do not question your own intuition, and evidence !! Get your child out of this place, I don't care if it cost a million dollars - the dollar amount doesn't make the place better or worse - its the staff - and in this case an uncaring, neglectful bunch. I wouldn't keep my worst enemy there. If you care about your child, then do something, don't just sit back and let this happen. If this happens in front of your face, you can only imagine what you don't see when you are not there. People need to speak up and not let this happen. You see all the kids in their shoes during nap - Tell them this is NOT acceptable, and you want all the kids shoes off, make them comfortable. Otherwise, I would call or notify each parent - stand outside their business and inform other ignorant parents of what their child is subjected to daily. I would just find a job at your home and keep your child with you - then you can know and care for your child properly, I personally would NEVER leave my child in any daycare (and never have) because I know my baby will never get the attention and care he/she deserves in some outside institution.

Is this a new thing? You did say he is usually dirty, is he usually outside or just coming in when he is picked up?

I would expect that the center would be following a schedule as any other center would be. At 2pm my kids were napping, so if Grammy is picking him up and he is asleep then I would be upset his face wasn't washed after lunch, before he was put down for nap. From the teachers perspective, they may be in a transition time when she is there too, I would absolutely be asking questions. If he was that wet he may not have conveyed that information to the teacher yet and she saw an opportunity to have some help. I didn't mind my parents helping if I were really busy doing something and they had the time to help. I usually had time set aside after playing outside for washing hands and faces.

Talk to the teacher and then observe what happens. If it is not fixed then talk to the Director. If still not fixed already have another place picked out and give notice at that time.

It sounds like he is happy here and a little dirt never hurt anyone. Actually, scientists are now saying kids kept too clean are more susceptible to MS than kids who are dirtier as children. Not saying kids should be dirty, just that science says dirt is not all that harmful. I want my kids to have their hair brushed and faces and hands clean when I pick them up too, unless they are playing outside or with messy stuff like play dough.
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In Oklahoma the teacher child ratios for 3 years old are:
1 teacher to 15 children.

Page 57 gives the teacher staff ratios required in child care centers.
http://www.okdhs.org/NR/rdonlyres/C###-###-####-C005-45D1...

There is a daycare next door to me, they do quite a few dshs assisted families. The kids are always clean and dry. I often see them at the end of the day or when out in their playground and the kids are rarely dirty. I think your daycare's level of care is inappropriate and if it were my son I would be livid and file a formal complaint. The person who allowed your son to stay wet and cold should be ashamed.

If I found out my child had an accident and they left him wet and then when questioned they said maybe they would change him during lunch my child would be removed from that daycare and I would report it DSS or whatever it is called now. That is horrible. Your poor son :(

Just wanted to agree with the other moms on here. Your instincts are telling you something is wrong here because it is wrong. Get to the bottom of it and move him if you have to. Good luck Mama! Stay Strong!

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Ok, I had my daughter in a really expensive daycare at first, and I always picked her up dirty. I wasn't sure what to think, but she was only there a couple of months before I had to move her to a daycare that accepted public assistance vouchers. I was terrified---but she's squeaky clean every time I pick her up and she seems really happy. They change her even if she just gets a little bit of spit up on her. They'd leave her in it at the expensive daycare. Not sure what the deal is with that?

You have some great responses so I'll try to keep brief. My kids, ages 2 and 4, attend the same preschool/daycare in separate rooms. Upon pickup, I frequently find both with dirt/food/paint etc. on their clothes and/or faces. This tells me they have had a good day! Their hands are always clean, and if they are wet at all, it is because they have just washed their hands and forgotten to push sleeves up. They get changed when they are uncomfortable, are given the option of shoes on or off for naps, and are asked what they would like to wear for outdoor play. In addition to the clothes I provide, the preschool keeps extra rain boots, hats, and gloves on hand. I think comfort trumps any concern over dirt, and I would make this the basis of your complaint. Last thing: we had a problem with a surly teacher who said some weird things that were not an accurate reflection of the school's policy (this was over sending kids home for coughing). After a discussion with the director, everything was cleared up, the teacher reminded what her priorities were, and have since seen a complete turnaround in this teacher! If this is your only complaint, a talk with the director should be your first step. Best of luck!!!

If you are hesitant to change, you might want to check w/the state about this daycare - they'll have a file on them that you can request! The size of that file might be enough of an indicator for you if they have had issues. (I did this in my state w/a daycare that my dgd was in - not put there by me - because of some things I'd seen and the sudden temp closing and name changes. The file I got was an inch thick! She definitely was taken out of that place as soon as I got her!)

That is unacceptable. As a teacher and one who used to work in daycare, there are clearly too many children per teacher if a child can't be changed right away. There are many reasons why he should have been changed immediately, including the child's health.

OMG. I am upset just reading this. I would have gone ballistic on that daycare teacher. How dare she degrade your son by forcing him to stay in cold, soaking wet clothing during lunch, because of lack ot time?!?!?

That is total BS. Completely. I would write a letter and complain to whomever is higher up. Is this a franchise? You should be able to find out a CEO or president or something like that, in addition to the manager of the day care. I would also promptly remove your son from that day care. This is irresponsible, degrading, and disrespectful to any child, and they have a lot of nerve to think they can pull this off just because he too small to stand up for himself.

I am so sorry that you and your son experienced this. Unfortunately, that is how child care goes for many of us. I am sure you can find something much better. Good luck, girl!

I would definitely complain about it...not to be "the mom" who complains, but to explain to the teachers that you respect that they have a lot of kids to take care of, but that they don't seem to be taking care of your son appropriately. Do they have ratios that they need to meet or are there really too many kids in a class with too few teachers? I don't think that a child should be that wet...afterall, why do we send extra clothes to school?

He should have been changed. Did you ask the director about this? My Daughter would often have dirty face and crusty nose but I let that part go but not wet clothes :(

This is unacceptable. Get your son out of there!!

A teacher with that attitude won't change. Bad teachers in a daycare is a reflection of poor management. My first daycare experience was really bad, but I wasn't sure if I was an over anxious Mom and I thought things would get better. I hesitated about changing daycares but once I did it was the best decision I ever made. A child should like to be in daycare. My daughter loves her teachers, and they always greet her with an smile, and I know she is having a lot of fun. As the other Moms said my daughter comes dirty some times, with paint on her clothes and once in a while with a bruise or two, never with wet clothes and she has had potty accidents. Trust your insticts if you feel bad leaving him there, try a new place, there are plenty of daycares. Don't wait until your child gets to the point where he gets afraid to go to daycare.

We had some similar issues at our daycare. I calledthe administator and they said parents had been complaining and they were working on hiring more staff to correct the issues. I told them we were leaving if things did not change. From that point on changes were made and more staff was hired. It took alot of complaining from me and other parents. I would have moved to another school but I couldn't find a place for my baby and my two year old. We had already bee at this school for 1 1/2 years with no problems and I wanted to give them a chance. I would leave if things don't get better quickly.

When my, now 16-year old, son was in daycare I learned to voice any concerns I had. I searched for a month to find the right center. The first day I took my son, one of the teachers grabbed a child by the arm and marched him to the directors office. I was freaked. I ended up late for work, because I wanted to talk to the director before I left my son.

The director was right on the ball. She apologized, then pulled the teacher aside and had a talk with her. The teacher came over and apologized.

Sounds great right? Well that teacher and I became friends, she is a sweetheart. She was always attentive to the kids needs. It wasn't until a few years later that I learned what the boy had done and I actually felt bad that I complained. He had done something very inappropriate and honestly I think she handled the situation well.

Most of the time, things were well, but sometimes new employees weren't up to par. People may check out in a records check and they may have all the right answers in interviews, but until they're in the classrooms day after day, it's hard to know how well they will do.

Anytime I had a concern, I addressed it immediately. Depending on the situation I would address the person directly or the director.

As for dirt, my son tended to get dirty, but then, he got quite dirty at home, too. He was a full on rough and tumble boy. So that didn't bug me.

Okay, I'm making this way too long. Basically:
Address the situation with the teacher and the director (this way the teacher knows you aren't going to put up with any excuses)

Keep watch. If your concerns aren't rectified, get a new facility.

I'm glad I addressed the situations that concerned me. My son was in the facility for 3 years and one of teachers came up with the best solution to my son's inattention and hyperness. She would open the classroom door, tap him on the shoulder and he would go run laps. Just getting that energy out helped him get back on focus. We still do that now, I'll send him to run around the lake when he is feeling overwhelmed (due to feeling pressure to get something done, but lacking the focus). It is the best solution for him. And I never would thought of that on my own. If I had pulled him because I didn't address the issues, we never would have learned such a valuable idea.

Good luck. It's rough finding the right people to care for your boy, but sometimes just speaking up will fix it. However, if the center doesn't seem concerned or things don't change, pull him. You know what's best for your boy.

Wet is not acceptable to me. Dirty / paint covered clothes - sure. That just means they had a great time playing. Dirty faces? Well I think that depends. I realize that if they are outside playing, my daughter's face is not going to be washed if I pick her up while they are outside. But if I was picking her up every day AFTER they had been inside for a while and it was still dirty, I'd wonder why.

Forgive me, I have not read all the responses, but I had to respond asap.

I don't mind my son getting dirty. He is playing. He can get wet. He is playing - with water, inside, outside, I don't care. He is a boy. He is a child, etc.

HOWEVER.... I absolutely INSIST at the day care that he be changed - I provide LOTS of clothes from them to choose from. They do it on their own for when the kids are wet through - it is their policy. They DO NOT put them down for their nap wet.

They take special care - if they have had extremely messy food and the bib didn't cut it, they will change them. Sometimes they just make sure to change them after lunch or second snack for clean clothes going home. Or if I let them know we are going someplace afterwards, they make sure he is extra squeaky clean.

Seriously - these actions are not acceptable. It is one thing to have to wait a few minutes, but 'a maybe'... OMG!

I know that for the simplest of things, I have had to be VERY VERY clear with our teachers. They are amazing and do their best at complying and I let them know, I KNOW they have other children, so I am clear as to the priority of my request.

To answer your basic question, there are some days he may not be 'as clean' as I took him there, but they even admit - when there is food in the hair, they do their best to get it out! lol

Please talk w/the teachers asap.

Messy face and clothes are fine by me (it's usually evidence of a lot of fun!), but keeping him it wet clothes is too much... If they didn't notice, hmm, I could maybe let that go, but once it was pointed out it should have been dealt with immediately. I can't believe they would make him wait and say *maybe* they could change him later.

Ok so the teachers should have changed him yes ANd most importantly her response was Not Acceptable, but you tell me, is he the kind of kid that when told not to stomp in a puddle goes ahead and does it anyways?? to me that is a natural consequence for choosing to stomp in a puddle. I'm wondering if some posters think that he wet himself and they choose not to clean it, peeing is very different to me than stomping in a puddle.

My guess is, they are required to leave shoes on during nap due to the possibility of a fire/evacuation.

another suggestion, if you are packing him a lunch you can send a wet papertowel in a zip lock bag or even a wash cloth if you prefer and teach him at home how to start cleaning his own face. at 2 years most kids should be capable of learning how to do this, they may not do it all the time but should at least be capable of doing it.

I would find a way to talk to the staff and or director, but think you need to really decide if they are harming children before you go reporting them to the state. You might get better results by simply stating, Please wash little Francois face after lunch. Thank you .

It is all over! My daughters day care has lost two of the most popular teachers. My daughter told me today that she really missed one of them and that she loved her. So after I dropped her off, I mentioned to the lady at the front desk that I am sure they had their reason for how they did things, but a good bye would have been nice so she could have some closure. I was told she did is so sudden that they were caught off guard as well. I am guessing she quit. The other one left (from what I heard) because she didn't want to be responsible if someone got hurt because the class sizes were off.

I still need them, so there is not much I can say.

Take him out of there ASAP!!! I live in Kent, my son is in a daycare, with help of DSHS, so I don't pay the full amount, because I can't afford it. It's not an expensive day care either, but my son, he's 3 too, is happy, clean, and wants to go every day, he's not scared, or unhappy. Move him, don't wait, because think about this: he cannot tell you everything that happens there, you knew about this, God knows what else is going on there!@!!
I work in a day care center for 4 years, and NEVER we would say to a parent, or grandma that we couldn't change the kids, or maybe later!!!!! She should have done it immediately, he should be changed and dry as soon as they went inside!!

Wow... I would be very very upset by this. "I don't have time, maybe later???!!!" are you kidding me? What is more important than a soaking wet, crying child? That is terrible. I would inquire about what their process is for assisting with hygiene, cleaning up and what constitutes a need for clothing changes.

At my daycare I let parents know that we do many messy activities, and I ask that children are not sent in clothing that parents do not want soiled. We paint a lot, glue, glitter, marker, stamp. We play outside every day. In the dirt, in the sand, in the rain (not pouring). I know that my kids don't go home without some dirt on them or occasional food on their faces. But they are happy and their diapers and hands are clean. I have never had a family complain about their kids having a little dirt on them. HOWEVER, wet clothing is just uncomfortable and should be changed at the first opportunity. Excessive dirt or food on clothing is not acceptable. A very very dirty face or dirty hands are not acceptable (unless you're picking up from a park or being outside.)

One of the kids I care for went to a very good school here, where they let the kids play in the absolute pouring rain and get absolutely soaked from head to foot. I was astonished that they did this during at least two really really hard storms. The Mom's response was that it's part of their day, the kids love it and it takes them 2 hours to change everyone's clothes.

Your poor baby... I would be upset J.. Good care is not necessarily expensive and high cost of care doesn't guarantee a good school. I'd look for another if you aren't satisfied by a response regarding this or if you have any other issues.

Good luck

I seems to me that your instincts are correct. It sounds like they have too many children and too few staff to address the basic needs of the children in their charge. I've had my daughter in 3 different programs since she was 15 weeks old. She is now 5 years old. The first program I had her in was a home daycare and she came home dirty everyday. Her face was always dirty and her sleeves were grubby with food. It was difficult for me to address it because the program was run by a family friend. Other than being dirty, my child never came home with a diaper rash or any indication that she was being neglected. I figured it was just me being picky so I just sent her to daycare with a bib on to limit the damage. That was until my friend closed her program and I moved my daughter to a preschool that was also run out of a private home. What a difference! My daughter rarely came home dirty and when she did, it was from a craft project. Occasionally, she had her shoes on the wrong feet, but that was because she had put them on herself. Now, she is in a preschool run by our local YMCA and again, if she's dirty, it's from something understandable like a craft project or she's got sand in her shoes and pockets from playing in the sandbox. I also wonder what the reasoning is behind keeping their shoes on during nap time. All 3 programs my daughter has attended had them take off their schools for rest time. At the first, no one wore shoes indoors. At the second, all the kids put their shoes in one plastic bin during nap time. At her current program, they put their shoes at the end of their nap mat. I hope this helps you. I know how hard it can be to put your trust in people to take care of your child. I would recommend that you or your mother make a few unannounced visits in the coming weeks and then decide if you need to move your son to another program.

Yes, I do think they should have changed him as soon as they could. Did they know he was that wet? I can see where you would not be satisfied with the teacher's response though.

My son is often dirty with dirt or paint on his clothes, sometimes marker on his hands. But his face and hands are usually pretty clean (like he used a napkin after lunch and washed his hands after messy activities). The school says to wear play clothes that they can get dirty doing activities.

Last year when my son was just potty trained ( age 3) and had a lot of pee accidents at first and he would not tell the teachers (or even me when at home). A few times I cam to pick him up and did could not tell he had an accident until he was out of the classroom (it was too dark in the classroom to tell at nap time). When I talked to the teacher about the problem she made sure to remind him about taking potty breaks more often and the problem was pretty much solved. It took about 2 weeks of me making him go potty before leaving school so he got more comfortable with the bathroom at school.