My son, 17.5 months, has ramped up his separation anxiety in general the past couple months. Like, I go upstairs and it's "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" with tears and everything, and all is fine when I return. I have read a number of places that separation anxiety peaks at 18 months, so we're on track for that.
However, I am unsure what to make of this: I am a SAHM and my DH works long law-firm hours, and see DS maybe 1-1.5 hours during the weekday. In the morning if he's awake when DH leaves, he is happy to follow Daddy in the bathroom while he's getting ready, etc. He frequently picks up the phone during the day and asks for Daddy (to call him - which we do). Everytime we see a silver car he excitedly thinks it's Daddy. So, he's clearly attached to him.
Here's the however part: when DH comes home in the evening, (it's always during the even crankies too boot), and he comes in and DS acts excited when he hears the garage door and I try to get him all happy (e.g., Daddy's here!), but when DH walks in, DS almost acts anxious/scared and comes running to me to pick him up and cries if I won't. He won't go to DH. The old routine used to be that DH took him upstairs when he got home to bring him with him when he got changed, and I am wondering if DS, b/c of his general sep anxiety with me, is just anticipating the taking upstairs part and runs to me b/c he doesn't want to leave.
He loves his Dad and is attached to him, but almost seems scared a little (or something, I can't explain it) when he see DH after not seeing him all day (or a business trip, for example, last week).
Thoughts? DH says his feelings aren't hurt, but I think they are. So do you think this is just the peak of separation anxiety and him not wanting to leave me -- even for DH? Thanks in advance for your thoughts.
yes it is! Try to love that he runs to you because soon he will be running for something else. IT is a phase and it will pass. In the meantime try to get to like being "The Queen" to your son. As far as your husband goes if he just backs off and les your son "warm up" before he starts the nightttime routine it may go a little easier.
My baby girl is only a year old and is already doing this. I am a SAHM with her. When my DH comes home, I also try to ramp her up "Dada! Dada!" She does get very happy and gives him what we call "Uppie Arms" so he will hold her. But, if I walk away, she cries and reaches for me as though I may never return.
He only sees her in the evening for an hour or an hour and a half. I try to leave them alone so they can have quality time together, but lately she won't let me leave.
I think my DH is hurt as you think yours is.
My advice? It probably is separation anxiety from you. This may sound a bit harsh, but take this attachment for what it is now. Soon enough, you precious prince will be super attached to your DH and cry when he leaves. (At least that is what I am told.)
First of all, I so envy your SAHM status. I have just had to go back to work. But that's not the point here...
I can't speak to whether or not that's seperation anxiety, but I think your logic makes sense. I would like to make one suggestion. Maybe adjust your routine so that Daddy goes upstairs and you and baby boy join him and do his part of the routine together for a bit, and then, once he's settled and engaged, you can find your way out of the room.
Good luck!
sounds like classic separation anxiety; it will probably get better in the next few months
This is perfectly normal. My son did the same thing. It may or may not be seperation anxiety. My son just needed to get used to dad being home. It is a little intimidating for them at first. If dad just goes about his business without making a fuss, does the baby go to him? It may be that he needs to approach things more slowly and allow the baby to warmup to him first. Or maybe you need to do something together as a family first. Have you tried going along upstairs? My son just doesn't like change, he loves his dad but he needed to warmup to changes. I'd say just go slow. Don't ramp it up...act like it's nothing and see what the baby does. It can't hurt, you may just be overstimulating at a sensitive time in the day anyway. Good luck...it will pass.
