Is This Spoiled?

As frustrating as it may be to have her connected at the hip..I will have to say enjoy it while you can. When she starts crawling and walking around she will likely grow out of this and want to get into anything and everything, even if that means leaving mommy behind. My baby went through the same thing and now I would give anything to cuddle with her. She is only 14 months and already has her own little world without mommy. I also don't feel like letting her "cry it out" is the best thing for small children. I have read that how fast you respond to their cries is what gives them their self worth. She just needs her mommy right now. Good luck

My daughter was the exact same way. To this day she still prefers me most of the time, but is willing to go to others if she knows them (she's 14 months). She is NOT spoiled despite what my MIL says. Just know that some babies are like this and she will grow out of it eventually. It helped me when I could get her around other people, even just walking at the mall. She could watch other people, but still be close to mommy, and it gives you some sanity, too. Good luck!

Everything I've read has said that babies that young can not be spoiled. She loves you and is used to you. I know it gets a little old after a while, especially when you want to do something like take a shower or read a magazine, but she'll get past it. My daughter was very similar, and she outgrew it.

We've had the same essue with our youngest. He would not even stay with my hubby, which I thought was just crazy. If you hold her all the time while at home, she is just used to being close to you. With our son we started by putting him in the excersauser and leaving the room for a min...he started getting used to playing by himself. When we leave him at church in the nusery, in the beginning he screamed upto an hour(I told the workers (who encouraged us to do it)as long as his needs were met and he was not bothering other kids(they walk them in the hallways in children's wing) it was fine with us)Now he cries for maybe 2-5 min and he is fine the rest of the time.It's all about how you train them.Everyone says, she'll out grow it....well I have a friend who has 3,5 year old who was very attached to her mom as a baby, she never left her with anyone thinking it will pass......well at 3,5 she still screams and would not go to anyone.
PS So many people get upset about word "train".......that is the word that 's used in the Greatest Book ever written "Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. "
If you also look in the dictionary work "train" means to educate, to teach, to bring up, to lead, to direct .
I am not talking about trainning like a dog, but showing a child to be independent from the very beginning. It's ok for a baby to be attached to you(since that is all she knows for most of the time) But you should be able to get a break once in the while.

Hi V.,

We had the same problem with our first child (the second child will go to anybody -- but that's not necessarily a good thing either). I absolutely could not let my baby "cry it out," so we tried some softer approaches suggested by our pediatrician.

Whenever we were in a group setting, I always tried to pass the baby around a bit ... I was still in full view, but my son got the opportunity to be held by grandmas, aunts, cousins, etc. He could always come back to me, then get passed on again to show him he was safe.

We also put one of mommy's t-shirts (that was soft like mommy and smelled like mommy) over daddy's shoulder so that when he held the baby, it was like mom was there and the baby responded very well. Daddy was also the one to give baby his bath and they really bonded during that relaxed time.

Let your baby know that just because mommy's not holding her doesn't mean mommy's not around. It will take some time, but she will loosen up a bit. And after anyone else takes care of her -- even for a short period -- be sure to give her extra kisses when you return and tell her what a big girl she is.

Hope this helps. Best of luck!

/K.

I'm so glad to see you've already gotten some good advice here. Which surprises me since I've found many of the moms who frequent this site to be, how do I say this, a little too "tough-loving."

It's true, you CAN NOT spoil babies, especially a 4 month old baby. But we live in a messed up society that encourages us to hold baby, but not too often. Nurse her, but not when she demands. Help her sleep, but according to our sleep schedule, etc. It's like we force independence on our small children before they are naturally and instinctively ready. So go ahead, hold and love on that baby as much as you want. Besides, you spoil children with PRESENTS, not PRESENCE!

Check out this article from Dr. Sears on "spoiling":
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T100200.asp

Here's an excerpt: "Few parents make it through their offspring's babyhood without being told that all their efforts to nurture and respond to their baby will surely spoil her. And if it's not spoiling that they're warned against, they're told not to let themselves be "manipulated" by baby."
Sound familiar?

Here's a link to kellymom.com. Especially check out the bottom of the page where there is a section of yet more links to great articles on this subject. You'll find out real quick that this is normal baby behavior AND there is scientific data to back up why you SHOULD respond to baby with the cuddling and holding she wants. No need to "train" or "teach" her anything.
http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/fussybaby.html
Here's an excerpt: "Studies have shown that when babies are held often and responded to quickly, the babies cry less, and the parents learn to read baby's cues more quickly. A young child's need for his mother is very intense - as intense as his need for food. Know that your child really needs you. It is not about manipulation or something you can "fix" with the right discipline. Often a baby who is perceived as fussy is simply a baby who needs more contact with mom (and is smart enough to express this need) and is content once his needs are met. See the links below to read more about"

It's natural and normal for baby to want mommy only at this age. But it's also normal for mommy to feel overwhelmed. Don't feel guilty about wanting a break. Just keep trying what you've already been doing by letting her stay with others for small amounts of time. As she gets older, this will get easier for you both. My baby was the same way. I never forced us being separated on him and I NEVER let him cry it out. Now at 25 months, he's perfectly independent and stays at the sitters, at church, at my parents perfectly fine.

Good luck and best wishes to you!!

I am also a stayathomemom. My daughter often prefers me over my husband. My hubby is an outstanding dad who unfortunitly travels quite a bit. It sounds like it just going to take your daughter time to adjust to other people and that is okay. We let both our kids cry for about two hours when we moved them to their cribs which was younger than your daughter. If anyone says that is horrible who makes them judge and jury. Their cries weren't hurt cries they were mad cries. I am a good mom just as are you. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but once they got through it I could lay them down as infants and they would go to sleep on their own. My pediatrician told me he let his son cry all night. I learned the hard way I needed some time to myself. This doesn't mean I was abanding my son. Everyone including children need time to their self. Hope this helps. You do what you need to do for you and your child. Good luck.

It's time she starts learning that mommy isn't the only fish in the sea. Let other's hold her and while you leave the room. Have them feed her or play with her and her favorite toy. Give her a chance to get to know other people in the family before it does become a real problem.
Good Luck and God Bless

Hi V.! Your little girl is not spoiled. She just wants her mommy. But, I totally understand what you mean when you say "break". Every mom needs one every once in a while. Just do your best to continue to allow her to go stay with your mom and others. Being around other family members and friends often will help. My son was like this for most of his first year of life, bc like you it was just he & I most of the time...he is now 16 months and is attached to his daddy. Hang in there! It will get better.

almost all pediatricians agree that you can not spoil a baby at this age. it is normal for your daughter to prefer you over any one else, especially if you are a sahm, or are nursing. if you are having trouble leaving your daughter so that you can go out with your husband or something, you may have to wait and leave her when she is already asleep, or find a way to include her in what you are doing. it wont hurt your daughter if she is not left with a sitter.

No, this isnt spoiled. This is just loved! My daughter was the same way. Didnt want anything to do with grandparents, aunts, uncles, even her daddy. All she wanted was mama! It was hard to get things done when I had to constantly hold her! It seems tough and can be hard when your little one relies solely on you and doesnt want anyone else, but try to enjoy it. My daughter is almost 2 and is still a mama's girl, but now she is such an independent big girl that she doesnt want to be held at all! I find myself missing those times when she just wanted to cuddle with me. Hang in there, it will get better before you know it!

Well, maybe a little. But i think it's really just 'learned behavior' and habit for both of you. My oldest son did that when he was little. My husband was a way a lot, and it was just the two of us, so he became very clingy. Another more experienced mom in the neighborhood noticed the problem, and proposed a great solution.
Everyday when my son was fed and dry, and no other immediate needs, we would go over to her house. I would put him in his walker, and she would teach me to knit. He was sitting right in front of me, could see me, and we even talked to him. He would always begin to scream, almost on cue, everyday. It was almost unbearable, but my hands were too busy to pick him up and give in to his demands. But after about 3-4 days we could see a change. He would not start crying as soon, or as heavy. After about 2 weeks, he was fine. Even at home when we were alone.
I admit it wasn't easy, he was our first born, and I felt guilty and anxious about everything. But she was right, and we were both happier and more adjusted after that.
You absolutely must take charge, you are the parent. You are in charge of your home, not him, even though it may seem that way. Children live in our homes, but if they take over at such a young age, it never really stops. Learning now how to help him be independent, and you learning that he will survive being out of sorts, is very important for future life lessons.
Baby one is like a 'test model', mine is now 22. I see the differences in he and his 17 yr old brother, and how their different personalities, and my parenting skills have effected them. They are great guys! My 17 yr old is particularly independent, and the older son is still very close to home, calls every day!
Just help yourself and your baby 'un-learn' this habit now, and you will both breathe much easier.
By the way, I nursed both my boys until 14 months, and didn't start them on table foods until dr recommended, so they were very close to me. Dad did baths and cuddles and burbs, and even dirty diapers to help me have a break. Both boys would ride in the pack with dad, and go fishing, or walking the dog. My point is even thought they needed me, dad was taking charge too.
Don't panic, it will all work in the end, and one day you'll laugh about it!

I agree with everyone, she's not spoiled, just very LOVED and it shows she is nurtured. That's the point, though. Your baby should always want you; if she didn't there would be something wrong. She may be content in someone else's arms for a minute or two, but the fact that she wants the woman who carried her in the womb, who's voice she knew since before she was born and the one person who's scent she has memorized is a healthy thing. You should be proud of that. I think by the time she's crawling, she will be a little bit more independent, but until then, your only breaks will probably be naptime. That's the way I did it with both of my boys, I didn't leave them until they were both walking age because your baby needs mama more than mama needs a break :) that's just how it is, in my opinion. good luck to you.

Not spoiled - loved. My daughter was the exact same way and so is my son. The sad part is that it does pass. They grow up so fast. Enjoy this time you have when she wants you all the time. Before you know it she will be crawling, walking and then running away to do "big girl" things. My daughter is only 2 1/2 and I miss those cuddle days so much. My children are only 15 months apart and at one point they were both clinging to me. Cherish it. I know it's hard sometimes (my husband works two jobs, 80 hrs a week so I can stay home with the kids), but it is so worth it. I know that holding my daughter whenever she wanted/needed it made her the independent, secure toddler she is today. Hang in there. Like I said, they grow up way too fast and you will miss these days. Oh, and instead of stressing you both out by leaving her somewhere to do errands - just take her with you. I always did and now they are the best little shoppers whereever I go, because they're use to it. good luck.

V.: Please don't call this spoiled! You can hardly "spoil" a four-month old. Something she senses is making her insecure. At this early age, give her what she needs. She will let you know when she is ready to sprout wings. I remember when women older than me used to say, "let them cry themselves to sleep." HOGWASH!! They get scared, hungry, restless, bored, and sometimes suffer pain from gas. The Bible talks about bringing up your child but the Bible is a senseable book that means when your child can decifer for themselves. You take care of that precious little girl. She'll let go when she's ready. I've lived over much of the world and I can tell you the countries that are the most peaceful have children who are so nourished and cared for "their feet didn't touch the ground for years." In other words, they were held and loved and loved and loved. There is NOTHING wrong with her. I taught kids for many years and I studied child development also. I am a devoted Christian. Watch Dr. Braselton work - world known pediatrician. Babies radiate to him because of his loving attitude. Be at peace with this - she needs something right now. Give it to her.

Try to find a simple phrase you can say to her when she gets upset like that. I use, "(Her Name) you are ok, Mommy is right here" Go over and kiss her and carress her, but don't pick her up. Like if your Mother is holding her and she is screaming, tell her Sarah, you are ok, Mommy is right here" Start with small time allotments and move up. She is just very secure with you and needs to learn others love her just as much and can take care of her just the same. But in the end Noone is like Mommy...ever!

Hi V.! My daughter did the same thing at that age. She is now 18 months old and runs from me to go play with others. Your daughter is probably just going through some seperation anxiety very early. She will grow out of it, but it will probably come and go until she's around a year old. My suggestion on leaving is sneaking out, but leaving behind a shirt with your scent on it for her to cuddle with. Good luck; I know it's hard to figure out the right thing to do.
-A.

I have experienced something close to this and after doing much research I have learned that your child is figuring out that she is a seperate being from you and is most likely suffering from seperation anxiety. They don't have memories, yet, of when you left, they just know that you are not there and they get scared. My advice is that maybe you spend more time with your Mom and your baby together, both of you playing with her, so that she gets used to her Grand. And try to do the same with other people. How is she with her Dad? Check out www.babycenter.com. There is quite a bit of info on that site. Don't worry. It takes time for her to get used to the fact that she is her own person. Good luck!

I understand how you feel. My daughter was just like that. She would scream when anyone would come up to see her even as a newborn. Now, I know they say newborns can't tell who people are at first. But, she could. She would not let anyone take care of her except me. She gradually grew up and was very shy and reserved. I sent her to preschool to try and get her out of some of it, but it didn't help. She did nothing while she was there. She just sat and watched. I sent her to kindergarten and she wouldn't stay in the room unless I stayed with her. ( that happened for several weeks). She finally got to where I could leave her. ( I had 3 other children at the time also. This continued to be the issue though. When she was in 4th grade, she would come home from school and follow me where ever I went, like a shadow. I said to her one day "why do you follow mommy every where, why don't you go play". She said " I can't bear for you to be out of my sight." It just about broke my heart. I knew it was true. When ever my husband & I went out for the evening, she would follow me everywhere crying silently. I even left her with people she loved, didn't help. Although I did leave her, but not until she was around 3 yrs. old.
Now, she is 29 yrs. old and a delightful, sweet, beautiful pregnant mom. She is still quite, reserved, and calm. But, she still won't get to far away from me. She lives with her husband 5 min. down the road and I see her everyday. She is my best friend and I am hers. So, take heart, when you get older, that little babe maybe your best friend too. Even though it is h*** o* you, someday you will look back on ths and remember her tiny baby and how this all started out. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Hello V., I have to say that I don't agree with anyone training a baby. The fact is you are mom and your daughter knows that. She feels insecure when she isn't with you. She is not spoiled at all. Instead of trying to "train her" teach her she can be independent by playing with her in the floor and letting her realize there are other things that can comfort her other then mommy. This doesn't mean you have to let her cry either. When she is happy and playful, sit down beside her and play. I know you are probably wondering how this will help..right?
When my daughter was a baby she was VERY attached to me. She wouldn't hardly let my husband hold her let alone any one else. She also always wanted me to get her after a few minutes of being alone playing. I ALWAYS went to her and held her when she cried, I wanted to let her know I was here....this is what you are supposed to do for a baby. They are to little to understand how to train a mommy. After I calmed her down I would put her back in the floor to play and repeat as necessary. Over time she started playing longer and longer, then when she was able to crawl she would go to her own room and play by herself. Besides the playing she learned that she could entertain herself, comfort herself and be happy WITHOUT mommy. Once she realized that she was more open to other family members and friends. It takes time for some babies to be secure and cope with different situations, you just have to have patients. You may not get a break right now, but I promise you will. Mine is 2 now and I sometime wish she wanted me the way she used too......lol. Hold you baby when she needs it and encourage her when she is ready...the rest will happen when the time is right. It can't be rushed. Also, you may try to have you mom come over as often as possible to play too that way she can learn that not only mommy can be there for her. But that too will take time.
Good luck with your little one, and remember, if you aren't comfortable with it then don't do it....trust your instincts they are usually right.
T.

Hi V.! I wouldn't say that your daughter is spoiled, she just prefers you right now. My daughter is now ten and when she was born, she preferred "mommy" to anyone else. Her dad would hold her and she would cry until I finally held her. It started to give him a complex. My daughter even wanted to sleep with me and if I layed her in her crib would cry until she made herself throw up. I understand your pain. You feel guilty, but sometimes you want someone else to take care of her because you can't get anything else done. My daughter eventually grew out of it. Now she is quite the "Daddy's girl" and even wants to spend the weekend with her grandma - alone. One thing you might try - always leave her with the same person. That way, she can get used to them. I think some of this behavior is a anxiety reaction, so anything you can do to relieve this would help. Even though my daughter likes to spend time with other people, I'm still her favorite and she does have anxiety about going to new places or trying new things. Think of it as a compliment to you - you're her favorite, you make her feel safe and secure - and hope that the other people that love her can understand and not take it too personally. Good luck!

I feel for you V., I have been there. Let me assure you though, you CANNOT spoil a 4 month old. Until a baby is at least one year old, I would try not to worry about spoiling. If your like I was, your reading all the books on child rearing and child development and worrying about every milestone. Don't make yourself crazy over that. That first year, all your baby needs from you is love and nourishment. You can crack down on behavior issues after she is 1 or even 2 yrs old. I am also a stay home mom, two boys, one is 6 and the other is 4.

They say at that age you cant spoil a child and I dont beleive you can either.Your daughter sounds like she is most comfortable with you and thats how she likes it.My youngest son was the same way until he got older.I basically endured it.You could try to do short trips time away from her so she gets used to the idea of not having your around..say start with 5minutes out of site and then come back.It's almost like seperation anxiety(sp?) does that make sense?Also she might pick up on that others arent comfortable holding her for what ever reason..??..good luck..
S. B

Hi V.,

I have two little girls. One is four, and the other 2. My four year old was exactly like this when she was a baby~ and, I know, it is really, really demanding. She would scream in her car seat, she would scream with her dad, she would scream with my mom. I would just hold her and cry because I was so tired.

Anyway, I got really used to just wearing her in a sling most of the time. You can NOT spoil babies. Especially at 4 months~ she is still so little!!! :) You are her mom, she feels most secure with you, and she naturally wants you. Babies should want their mommas. It's biological. And the truth is, some kids are just more high need than others. Some babies just need more from you. My second daughter would play happily by herself and let anyone hold her. You have to nurture their individual spirit, and not try to 'train' them. That's just sad and teaches them that they can not count on you.

When she's older and she understands (around 2) you can tell her that you are going to the store and you'll be right back, and she and grandma can play for a while or something. She might be mad, and throw a fit, but she will understand your words, and when you return she will learn that you always return. But right now, she does not understand.

Now, my 4 year old is happy and independent. She still needs more transition time if I am going to leave her with a babysitter, but she knows she can trust me to meet her needs and that mommy always comes back. And now I look back on those days when it was just me and her all the time and she was so small, and I remember how hard it was, but mostly I miss the sweetness of being able to hold her close all the time.

Good luck!

Carrie

To answer your question, no she is not spoiled. She is, however, undisciplined. You have allowed her to control you from the time she was three months old. It is time to reclaim your rights as a parent. Anytime you give in to your child's fits, tantrums, or attention screams, you allow her to control your destiny. Be firm. To start with, tell her you will hold her for two minutes, and use a timer to stick to it! Also let her know that you will hold her again after she is able to play without crying for two minutes. Again, use the timer! Stick to your word. Control the situation. Her "play" timer does not start until she is NOT crying!! This is the most important thing. DO NOT give in during this time. If she starts to cry, without touching her, let her know the timer is being reset, show her it being reset, and explain she must be independent of you during this time. Eventually, increase the play time, but never the hold time. She will get to the point of being independent of you but loving you all the more for setting her boundaries. PM me if you need encouragement to get you through the next week or two!

sorry I don't have advice, but I'm interested in how parents have handled this situation. D.

.

She's four months old, its normal for her to be attached to you. She doesnt need "training" to be independant at this age, she needs her mom. You're a sahm so you're her main provider and her security at this age. She'll have plenty of time to be independent when she is older.

Most small babies to become attached to one of their parents, usually mom. They do grow out of it, however. I am a sahm and I didnt leave my daughter with anyone until she was around 18 months old-needless to say, yeah she was pretty attached to me. However, she is three now and she is a very independent, social and outgoing kid. No training required ;)

Children require lots of time and patience as you both try and figure out who they are personality wise. At 4 months old, if she is crying she needs you. I know it can seem frustrating right now, especially when you need some time to yourself. But in the long run, its such a short amount of time that they need you like this compared to the rest of their lives. There will come a day when you go to pick her up at your mom's and she wont want to come home! In the meantime, you could try a sling to help you get things done around the house. I used to do chores with my daughter sleeping in a sling on my back lol.

Hi V.!

I just wanted to share my thoughts about letting your baby cry in the arms of others... one lady posted that she put her baby in the church nursery and told them to just let the baby cry, and she did for an hour! I think that's horrible, not only for her sweet innocent baby to be so upset for such a long period of time, but ALSO for the poor soul in charge of trying to sooth this baby for a whole hour! That is just mean to drop your crying baby off and say "see ya!" leaving someone else to deal with the problem. Not to mention other babies in the nursery!

I don't think your baby is spoiled. It's completely normal for her to want to be with you because it's just the two of you most of the time. You've already gotten a lot of good advice and I liked what someone else said about you and your mom playing with her on the floor. Try gradually moving away until it's just the two of them playing. I'm sure it will take a while for her to become completely comfortable without you for a long period of time but it will happen.

I don't think it's spoiled at all! I also don't think letting her cry it out will help anything. It is natural for a baby to want her mom. Do you socialize with others a lot? I would think just being around others would start to get her used to other faces and hopefully become comfortable with them - especially your mom. It sounds frustrating, but it won't last forever, so hang in there and enjoy her while she's so little. You sound like a great mom!

V.,
My daughter went through a similar phase around 4 months. So many people told me that babies go through separation anxiety at around 9 months, but she went through it at 4 months. I held her as much as possible and still do. If we went to a new place, I would hold her until she grew adjusted to the new environment. Then I could let someone else hold her, but I would stay close until she adjusted to this new change. She had been going to the nursery at church since she was 8 weeks old, but it was like a brand new place for her during this time. So even though your daughter has been to your mom's before, she may need some help adjusting right now. Try to stay with her in that environment until she adjusts and then give her to your mom while you are close, all the while telling her it's gonna be ok and that you're there. I really don't think you can spoil a child that young; their brains are not developed enough to understand that concept. The only way she knows to communicate is by crying and all she wants is comfort, right now from you. With my daughter this only lasted about a month. I also am a stay at home mom and my husband is working a lot. She's now 10 months old and doesn't need this adjustment period in new places anymore. She loves meeting and seeing new people.

A.

no shes not spoiled at this age momma is the most important thing to them. my daughter was the same way she only wanted me for a longgggg time. shes now 13 months and she will now let other people hold her but she will still choose me over anyone else. this too shall pass good luck! hang in there

No, it isn't spoiled. I don't know what you call it, but a baby that young is not spoiled. I had one (out of my 7) that was like that. She as not even satisfied with being held by me, she had to be plugged in(breastfeeding) to shut her up. It was a very stressful time. Because she had such a strong need for me when she was little, which was filled, she grew into a very independant young woman. See got her first job at age 15, and by the time she was a senior, she was holding down 3 part-time jobs, running track & still managed to graduate with honors! Today, at 31 yo she is a very good mother herself. Although she is very inependant, we have a very close relationship. She calls just to say "HI", not to ask for money as some other kids do.
This relationship with your daughter will be very trying at times... long stretches of time eve, but never fear, perservere, and you won't be disappointed in the years to come. Giving her the reassurance and comfort she needs now, is totally different then "spoiling" her!

My advice is the same as everyone elses...I don't believe you can spoil a child at this age. She is just 4 months old and feels most secure when whe is with you. My 1st son was the same way and he grew out of it (meaning I could eventually leave and he would not cry and cry...this happened around 7 or 8 months). Now my 2nd son is the same way. Even though I would love to have some time to myself I know this will pass. Enjoy this bonding time. Although it is exhausting, babies need it. Don't worry, this is a step in her development that will not last.

Your baby is not spoiled, nor can she be at this age. Babies come into the world totally dependent on us, but they instinctively know what they need. Crying is one of their only ways to tell us what they need so we can do a better job providing for them. Physical touch and feelings of emotional security are among a baby's basic needs, like anyone. Giving that to her now provides her with the foundation she needs for the rest of life.
If anyone around you tells you that responding to your baby's basic needs is spoiling her, just know that you need to listen to your baby more than to anyone else. NEVER let her cry it out in an attempt to "train" her. This will flood her with stress hormones that can be physically damaging now and later, in addition to making her distrustful and setting her up for all kinds of emotional problems.
As far as getting her comfortable with others, just follow her lead, respect the cues she is giving you, and be patient. There is nothing more important at this time in your life or hers than the two of you forming a trusting bond and having her full spectrum of needs met. Read up on attachment parenting.
Good luck!

She is leading you around by the "ring" of your nose. You have to be a little firm with her, and use the word no. Training children starts when they are born. Thier behaviors are learned remember!

It is very normal for babies to go through periods of extreme attachment to one parent or the other. There is alot of good advise here from the other ladies. Slowly and gently leaving her alone in a room or in someone else's arms for a few minutes, even if she cries, will begin to help. But leaving her to cry for long periods will just make her frustrated. So try to be patient and leave her for a little longer each time. The suggestion to take a Mommy break when she is already sleeping is good, too. My middle daughter cried whenever I left home for about a year, between ages one and two, but if she didn't see me leave, she was fine. Some people think that's "lying" to the child and you shouldn't do that, but I think it's the only way I ever got to go to the store alone, and she's 16 and fine now, so whatever works.