It's My Birthday; Why Can't It Be About ME!

Maybe her guilt is causing her to guilt trip you? People are very funny and manipulative that way. Just tell her since most people cancelled, you decided to just have dinner with family, that you wish it could have worked out too.

Just tell her that since you had to cancel your previous tentative plans, you celebrated with just your family dinner. She wasn't excluded from an event, you just didn't have one. Let her know that you are available if she want to take you to lunch or dinner etc.

"There comes an age when we need to realize that our birthday is only important to us...and that age is about 11." Unknown

I took my birthdate off of Facebook this year, spent the day with my 10 year-old daughter doing something I thought she would enjoy and then had dinner with her and her father. That's it. No big deal but very nice.

I told my friends that had given me a really nice recognition for age 50 last year that I wasn't going to celebrate again, in a big way, until I was 100. I meant it.

Happy Birthday,

Honestly, to me it is another day and as adult we stop celebrating with events, etc.

I am happy to be with my family and not the least bit insulted if someone does not wish me a HB. People are busy, they have their own lives. If someone wishes me a HB I say thank you and move on but I don't sit and get angry if someone does not.

Am I reading your post correctly - you had birthday plans, the people you invited all cancelled, and this is a different friend who feels left out? (I didn't see the first post.)

It sounds as if you're so upset that you're likely to take your hurt out on your friend. How would you want her to respond to you if the situation were reversed?

It's not your friend's fault that other people canceled. So, once you've cooled down a little, you can say, "I should have included you, and then somebody would have been at my party. I'll remember that next year!" You don't have to go into detail - you can just mention that the plans fell through.

Disappointed expectations and frustration are a bad combination. I think those are the hardest emotions to deal with.

Usually the only people that wish me a happy bday is my immediate family. My friends and I stopped celebrating bdays together when we hit 30 or so. Now at 40, it's a casual "oh happy bday" if we happen to find out someone has a bday.

We aren't doing anything for my 40th, btw.

Tell her you didn't have an event.... because you didn't.

Tell her you'd be happy to have a birthday lunch or breakfast (or whatever) with her anytime and continue the celebration!

Aaaaw, I'm sorry you're having a crappy birthday, that sucks.

:(

Maybe next year will be better?

Happy Birthday! If we were FB friends I totally would've sent you a HB wish.

:)

i'd be a little miffed if a friend actually had the stones to claim injury over my birthday plans. i don't expect that i'm going to be part of any friend's birthday celebrations and would not appreciate that degree of trespass into my personal space.
yes, you should cool down before you respond to her. this has the potential blow way up and get ridiculously disproportionately emo. tell her calmly and courteously that your only absolute plans were with your own family. that another never-confirmed event fell through. that you tend to keep your birthday celebrations family-centered. do NOT apologize. if she keeps fishing for some sort of remorse on your part, look her in the eye and say 'i'm sorry you are so hurt over this. i hope i've been clear about what happened. i love my friends but my birthday is a family event. but if you'd like to take me to lunch, that would be terrific!'
don't let it degenerate into a back-and-forth.
khairete
S.

In a light matter of fact way, tell her the truth and let her know you ended up not doing much, other than with your family. Sounds like you cancelled the party because most of the people invited couldn't make it so mention that. Let her know you were also dissappointed in the outcome but don't dwell on it. BTW - I wouldn't take it personally, with our busy lives it's hard to coordinate get togethers so hitting on a date when most people can make it is next to impossible.

Back to your friend. Ask her to lunch or coffee, just the two of you since she wants to spend time with you.

In the future, if Birthday get togethers are important to you AND a set group of friends, maybe set up a monthly or quarterly get together to celebrate Birthdays that fall into the time frame.

Say "oh, thanks so much! Nothing ended up coming together in the last week but I'd love to go out and do something together!" and then hopefully you can make plans.

What are you upset about?

Why not find out when your friends and family are available and reschedule? My birthday was last weekend. We went out to dinner with family on the actual night and some girl friends took me to lunch a few days after.
We have best friends, two couples, my husband and I have know for decades. We ALWAYS celebrate birthdays, it is our little tradition and we have not missed one in over 20 years. My birthday was on the 9th but we are going out to dinner on the 30th because three busy families=flexibility and consideration. You can celebrate and spend time with friends anytime, it doesn't have to be on the actual birthday.
Happy Birthday!

Be lucky she's the only one coming back at you :)imagine if they were all reacting this way....yikes! Ditto what Lynn M. said...

First happy late birthday to a fellow St. Paddy's day birthday girl. (yep...i wondered if we were both St. Paddy's girls).

I would just say "I'm sorry everyone else cancelled, so I cancelled the festivities. I thought everyone rec'd the message. Maybe we can get together do something soon?".

Last year everyone cancelled on me so this year I decided to not get a sitter and just have hubs and the kids with me. And everyone said "what are we doing for your birthday this year?"...UH? My kids are taking me to dinner.

I think the last time I did something for my birthday was when I was 21. I look at it as my day and usually treat myself to something, and of course whatever DH has in store.

This year, I treated myself to a professional hair dye and then went bowling with DH.