I've Created Too Many Bad Habbits in My 2 Yr Old to Break. Where Do I Start?

Make a mental list, think of which is the least desirable or needs atention most then take action. When that habit is gone try another and just keep on going. I did the same with my first too...also avent makes nice transition cups (sippies)

The way I did the bottle was just to say NO. I put a drink in the sippy cup & left it on the table for her. When she got thirtsy enough she drank it. As for bed time...I know its hard but say NO, close the door and walk away. It took a few days but she finally went to sleep without the bottle.

The food thing...do you still have a high chair? My middle daughter fought with me about eating in front of the TV. She went into the highchair at the table & could not leave until she was done eating. It took a LONG time. She was very subborn but I won! Even now...the TV goes off when we eat...they are 16, 13 & 10. NO ONE eats in front of the TV.

My oldest was one to wonder off. Let her get "lost" one time. Keep her in your eyesight b ut make sure she doesn't see you. Don't go to her as soon as she starts to cry. Let her cry for a little bit. I know it sounds mean but one good time of that & she will not do it again. It took mine a couple of times. The last one was the longest time I let her cry & she never did it again. WHATEVER you do...don't chase her in the store...then she thinks its a game.

Now this next suggestion might not sit well with some...the drop dead weight & twist thing. ONE good swat to the fanny. Don't get me wrong...I did not & do not beat my children. But ONE good swat and a good talking to put an end to that silliness. My oldest was so bad that she would make herself pass out when I would make her go to bed when she didn't want to. My pediatrician at the timetold me kids do that for 2 reasons...1 to avoid pain. Their body just shuts off when the pain gets to be too much or because they know learn how to pass out & they realize it will take the attention to the passing out & they get what they want. Until you make them understand that behavior will not be tolerated...they will continue to do it. He even showed it to me in a physicain's medical book. The last time oshe passed out I cried like a baby because I was scared to death but at the same time I gave her ONE good swat & yelled at her not to do this to me. She never passed out again. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN MOM.

I know I sound like a touch MOM but I have the BEST kids in the world. They are responsible, they are involved in church, they call me to let me know where they are & where they are going when they are not with me. They tell their friends all the time that they can talk to me about anything.

Take care of these things now or you will have a VERY difficult time trying to get control of their behavior in later years. Plus you are doing your step children a dis-service by having to deal with this bad bahvior & not being available for them.

While some of it is surely the two year old thing, others are things you can help her learn to control. I had to do the sleep thing with my kids too and it was tough. Once my husband and stuck to a plan consistently it worked. I find that this works best with my kids, it doesn't always seem to work at first but eventually they catch on. Kudos to you for realizing a problem and not ignoring it, which is easy to do. I have been substituting at the junior high and high school and had a couple of kids who acted worse than my two and four year olds. They had no skills to control themselves at all. I wondered if that stemmed from this age. Good luck and hang in there you can do it.

Please let her know that you ARE THE MOM!!! and what you say goes...
First off... get rid of the bottles!!! No ifs, ands or buts and nothing to "fall asleep with in bed".

Slowly move her bed further and further out of your room... a couple of inches a week. Then, you can help her decorate her room and make a big deal when she moves into it..

Second, you can put her in a stroller and/or get a "harness" to keep her with you when you go out.
The other children can help you with the "running away" if they are with you..she can hold their hand or yours... those are her only 2 choices.

You have done the best you can without the "manual" that no mother receives when her child is born. You will do fine..

Stay firm!!

J.

It sounds like you are on the right track! Just take care of one thing at a time. Making too many changes at once will not work. The binky is gone and that is great. Don't make any substitutes for it though. If it's gone, it's gone. Also, she is in her own bed now, when she climbs into your bed in the middle of the night take her right back to her bed. I have learned, and trust me I am no expert, but you must be consistant. Keep up the great work and good luck!

You start by saying NO! Its really harder on you then it is on them. there are a couple ways you can deal with the bed thing and i would suggest a baby gate or a nursery door. that is probably your best bet if the problem is that she will not stay in her room. Does she put herself to sleep when she does get into her bed? I started a routine before bed. we read a book, snuggle up in bed, i sing to them (lulluby songs) or play a cd so when they do fall asleep they are less likely to notice that i am leaving the room. With my youngest (Noah - 1)I sing him one song, kiss him goodnight and leave the room. He has learned to fall asleep by himself. If he wakes up for a moment in the middle of the night, its not a big thing for him to just roll over and go back to sleep.

My oldest son David (4) was in the fifth percentile for a long time. Your little lady might just be too busy to eat. try turning off the tv, or better yet let her help you with little things in the kitchen. My two year old (william) absolutely loves to spread the jelly on his sandwich with a spoon, putting croutons in a salad, fixing peanut butter crackers. I have found that they enjoy the food much more when they help.

I hope this helps even a little, i know its hard. i have to fight my instinct to just lay with them and go to sleep, but if i do i will never be able to get anything done. If you counted i have three little boys, and i can't be in every room at once. Be strong, stick to your guns and remember, nothing worth doing is easy and believe me sleeping without a childs feet in my back (david) is soooo worth it.

For the food, get a muffin tin and put a different healthy option in each container. You can use yogurt and apples, cheese cubes, avacado, veggies and racnh, and so on. Pull out and offer it for 20 minutes, and then put it away. Do this every hour or so. Your job it to offer healthy foods, her job it too eat. You can't force her. Don't make it a battle. Has she been tested for an intestenal diseases that coudl be a factor in her low weight?

For the bottle thing, can you do the bottle fairy? (similar to the paci fairy) Have her collect all the bottles in the house for the bottle fairy to come collect for other babies. The bottle fairy will exchange the bottles for a fun surprise.

My 2 year old still sleeps with us, so I am no help there. We will lay him in his bed, but let him come into ours when he wakes in the middle of the night.

As far as running away, that is a safety thing. If she will not hold you hand then she will have to stay in the basket or be held. If she is mad, talk her through her feelings and move one. Toddlers are at the stage developmentally where they are defining their world, her reaction is completely normal and appropriate. She can be angry about it, but she has to stay safe.

hi we have three kids also.. we just recently had another baby and shes a blessing. there is a web sight www.loveand logic.com we have the book for a her age.

well i say start with the dangerous on first. If she runs away from you she can get hurt. You could get one of thos leash things, or explain to her that the next time she runs is the last time she goes to the store with you. And follow through even if you are already at the store. Yes i realize this will make it harder on you but only for a while. If she's this good at manipulating her world at 2 she's obviously bright so I doubt you'll have to take her back home more than once or twice for her to get it. then maybe put something she doesn't like in her bottle so she won't want to drink it. If you are worried about her weight can talk to you pedi. about pedi-a-sure.
hth

For one thing, you are in the terrible twos, and "this too shall pass". As for binky and bottle, with both of my children, any time that they got sick or had anything at all uncomfortable happen to them, we would have to take a step backwards, but two is still a baby, so it wasn't that big of a deal. My oldest child was the one who didn't eat well, and had to sleep with somebody, so we actually moved our bed into her room. I know that's a little strange, but it was the only way for us to get any sleep. She was fed before the rest of the family so that we could have peace at the table. Some days, she grazed all day, and some days she ate very little, but she was healthy. So, even though it sounds like we were overindulging her in these situations, she is now a very loving, caring twelve year old who is very secure, sleeps in her own bed (LOL!), and has a perfect figure because she learned to eat when hungry, not when the clock says it's meal time.

Maybe since you have two older kids around you can push the issue of being a "big girl" to your youngest daughter. When you're walking through a parking lot ask her if she can walk like sissy, you can even do "the walk" with her. When she's tired of that ask her if she can walk like bubba or daddy or whomever, make a game out of it. As for the bottle, I broke my son by giving it to him whenever he wanted it but I wouldn't put anything but water in it, if he wanted juice, milk, or anything else it had to be in his cup at the table which is where we eat and drink everything in our house. My kids are 8 and 13 and still don't eat anywhere but at the table, but I am always there to eat or just sit with them while they're eating.

Anyway, good luck with all the new changes. It sounds like you're doing good, keep your head up. I would give anything to have one of my kids be 2 again, even if it meant all the bad habits came back with them!

We started both of our kids in their own cribs and beds so that was never an issue...sorry I can't be of any help there.

I second don't force them to eat. My oldest is a picky eater and I suspect it was because of my insistence that he eat certain good foods. Sometimes those fights have residual effects that last a long time! Our pediatrician always told us "I don't care how much they eat as long as it's all healthy." He had little ones that ate nothing but Cheerios and he said as long as they had their vitamins and formula, then it's ok. Two year olds will naturally have days where you think they're starving themselves and days where they're gorging.

Try to avoid getting upset and you can avoid a fight. They're very smart at two. They may not be able to communicate as well as we do, but they sure pick up on vibes and know that they can have control if they can get a reaction from you (and at two, control is a valuable thing to have).

well i'm not sure where you should start =) but i have some ideas! about the bottle, i think the best way is to just take it away. depending on your daughter's personality, you might try just saying "we're throwing the bottle away and you are drinking from a big girl cup from now on", or you might try to ease her into it a little more (maybe a bye-bye bottle party). in either case, letting her pick out a few cups all by herself will probably help.
as for the sleeping, i'm sorry to say it will probably just take many sleepless nights for the two of you! you will just have to take her back to bed every time she gets in bed with you if you really are serious about breaking the habit. if you give in when she cries for an hour in the middle of the night, then the next time she will think "mom will give in if i just cry for long enough". and she will test your determination so just be prepared for losing a lot of sleep for a couple weeks!
as for the eating, i've always read that until about the age of four, kids eat when they're hungry and don't eat if they're not. so i wouldn't try to FORCE her to eat, as that might cause bad eating habits in her future. but maybe try to give her foods high in protein when she DOES eat? like peanut butter with crackers or bread, lunch meat rolled up with cream cheese, trail mix (with supervision for choking reasons), chicken nuggets, etc. have you asked her dr. for a nutrition plan?
that's about all i can come up with! i hope this has helped even a little!