JFF- Annoying Things Your Inlaws Say.

my ex's mom is awesome but rocked at off the wall comments! Most recent she was over my house for my daughters first day of K yesterday and recalled to my daughter entering K about how she hated K b/c her teacher hit her and was mean....yea that was fun explaining to my daughter that all the mean teachers were banned from teaching on the way to school...lol.
lol my exs mom always says i look so tired...lol

Too funny.

One day.... we will ALL be a Mother-In-Law..... too.
Bawahahahaha!

I cannot imagine...

MY MIL IS AWESOME, it's my MOM that needs to stuff a cork in it.

I could and SHOULD write a book about her. Until you MEET HER you'd think I was on crack 24/7

She is so wacked.

OH BOY!!
1 when we announced we were getting married she said "youll have to stop dating all your other boy friends now" (no, there were no other boy friends)
2 after 2 years of unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant, she said "if you dont have kids it wont be HIS fault because theres nothing wrong with HIM. (did she know of several secret offspring he was hiding?)
3 when we bought our house her first and only comment was "well its a nice starter home and you can always move up later" (34 years later we are still in this home and its paid for)
4 when her husband died I spent the whole day cleaning her house to make it presentable for guests after the services, and she said, "gee I didnt know you knew how to clean. (shed been to my house twice in 10 years and it was spotless.)
Its as if everytime she opened her mouth it was meant to be cruel and hurtful to me.

I'll pick a few of the best.... from the book. :-)

When we were pregnant with Firstborn, my husband very excitedly decided to tell his mother by giving her a bracelet with baby's birthstone in it and engraving Mema on the box. She set the box aside and said, "Oh." After a pause, she asked, "Well, were you *trying* to have a baby?" DH said, "Yes." She said, "Well, there you go." She says to me, "Just don't have a girl. I don't know what to do for a girl." Firstborn was a boy. Next time around I had twin girls. She doesn't seem to know what to do for any of them.

My husband's grandmother (his father's side) has a house on the water. When I was 8 months pregnant the first time around, my husband rented a jetski and was playing around in the water. I was walking down the dock to take him something, and the grandmother exclaims, "You're not going to get on that thing, are you!?!" I laughed and said, "No." She said, "Good. We have to look out for our grandbaby."

A little bit off-topic, but I was nursing my son at a family event, discreetly covered in the corner of a quiet room. My husband's uncle walked through, noticed what I was doing and said, "I'll have what he doesn't finish." He was gone before I realized what he had said.

I love my husband. I love my husband. I love my husband.

Anything my MIL says is annoying. LOL....no really everything she says to me has been mean and insulting. I don't talk to her. Only when I have to. Thank God she lives in a different state.

Mine doesn't speak english so there's no telling :)
Maybe that's a good thing.....

My MIL is under the impression that I don't know a single thing about cooking. She very rarely eats anything I cook, even when others are raving how good it is. When she comes to our house she cooks for herself and will ask me things like, "Honey, do you have a frying pan?" and she says it real slowly like "frying pan" is a word I can't comprehend.

Well...they are my exes for a reason. :-)

Most recently, the most annoying thing my ex-mil has said to me is that since I made her son start paying me child support that means he will probably never be able to move out of her house! Umm, it had been over 2 years since he was supposed to be paying me child support. The state finally came after him and now I am the one who made him? Sure wish I had those kinds of superpowers!

Karma, man, it can be a...well you all know what I want to type here!! Bahahaha

OH lordy! Too many to write down. But here are a few - VERBATIM:

"I want to show you the proper way to iron"

"The breakfast you made today was okaaaayyy. Um, just not as good as some restaurants that I've gone to"

If hubby eats right and exercises: "Is your wife feeding you enough?"
If hubby hasnt exercised in awhile: "Is your wife feeding you unhealthy food?"

To hubby: "I had a dream that you weren't happy in your marriage and that you called to tell me all about it. So, are you happy? I mean really happy? I mean really, really happy?? I had this dream for a reason. What is really going on that you need to talk to me about?" (Of course there was nothing bad going on - it was just her wishful thinking)

:-)

These are things MY mom says.

"I'm happy to watch DS so you can exercise" (means "You're getting fat"... I get this one a LOT)

"Don't cook special food for me. I'll eat whatever you guys eat, except if it has cheese in it, or dairy, or red meat. Other than that, and anything really processed, I'm good."

"You need to pay more attention to the inside of your refrigerator/microwave/trashcan when you clean."

After our first girl was born, MIL informed me that "she raised her children and wouldn't be raising ours."

When I was 3 weeks away from my due date with #2 and as big as a house, MIL told me that I didn't look pregnant at all.

MIL has told me that she doesn't understand how people get fat. (She's as thin as a rail - I am not).

The latest and greatest insult was recent. My husband's youngest sister had open heart surgery (she's recovering now) and we went over to MIL & FIL's house to help them with his sister's boys. MIL and I were talking:

Me: Carol & Mike are so lucky that you and Chuck are able to help out so much. Please let me know what else we can do.

MIL: Carol is really lucky to have us. You don't have anybody.

Me: I know.

I just smile and don't say anything.

That's funny!
I could write a book!
Thanks for the laugh :)

To my mom at my wedding, "How long do you think this (the marriage) will last?"

""Son, you have two beautiful sons and a faithful wife. She is faithful isn't she?"

"You are just not a team player are you?"

"This is Warren's wife, Victoria. This is Chuck's wife, Julie, my practically perfect daughter-in-law." (SIL hated this as much as I did.)

The nasty looks spoke volumes.

"I'm sorry, we can't drive one hour to watch your two kids while you are in premature labor because one grown son, who lives with us, got drunk and tried to ride his brother's (also almost 30 and living at home) motorcycle and SPRAINED his wrist." Not broken, mind you, sprained! So my husband, at midnight, had to plead a neighbor (thank God for them) to come over and watch our sleeping kids while I had the baby, then rush back home.

Normally that wouldn't be annoying, it would just really piss me off, but this has become the in-law mantra. "We can't because we don't trust our two, grown, almost 30 year old kids in the house without us there."

I LOOOOOOVE love love! my in laws, but if I had to pick one thing someone said that drives me bonkers, it would be when my FIL (who's an almost 70 year old, world reknowned photographer and think's he knows all, which I usually love about him), anyway, when my FIL tells me what I should or shouldn't be doing with my 20 month old son.

"R., you need to go and get some shoes on that boy before he steps on something"

"No prob, Bob, you catch him, I'll put shoes on him."

"Don't let him go playing in the dirt, he might pick something up, an amoeba or something"...

"I know Bob, because my husband (his son), wasn't out playing in dirt and the river and god knows where else from sun up to sun don't... he never would have made it!"

"That boy needs to eat MEAT!"

"HAHA!, here, take MY burger and see what he does with it" (my son will not even TOUCH meat).

"Don't holler at him like that! Let the boy play"...

"Yes, I'll let him continue opening and closing the door to the boat club repeatedly. I'm sure he won't either lock himself in (and us out), smash his fingers, or develop a knack for inappropriate behavior."

I love my FIL, but he forgets that he had his kids DECADES ago ;)

This is so funny reading all these!! Thanks for the laughs!! I have to say that I dearly love my MIL, but one time she said something that really irked me. I had just gotten a dining room set from my grandmother, it was hers for years. So my husband and I decided to use it. Anyway, I put all my old depression glass in there, it is all so beautiful and colorful. And all my really nice crystal. Anyway, I thought it looked great. My MIL came over, and said "wow, that will really look nice when you put something pretty in there"
WHAT???!!! I just walked away.

Any sentence that starts with "if I were you..."

My grandma is 96 (?) and lives in CA - she is an ornery hoot. The last time I talked to her, she asked me if I was seeing anybody (she was at my wedding in 2001). It wasn't offensive, just plain funny.

Ha thats funny Molly! lol
My ex's mom has no common sense. She showed my 2 yr old how to pick her nose, make pancakes with the boogers, then eat them! I about strangled her. She also said her husband took the back roads while he was drunk with my daughter in the car.No i did not allow this but my ex did. When i found out I confronted them and thats what she said.
Needless to say i dont like her and could go on and on.
THOUGHT of another one. She'd always ask for comet to clean my bathroom before she would shower. THe last time she was here i refused said i didnt have any so guess what crazy woman didnt shower! I clean extra good too when i know shes comming to avoid her coments.

My mother in law told me once, "you have to use soap when doing laundry" and asked if I wanted her to show me how to pretreat stains. She also did the "did I wake you up?" thing. One thing she said that was annoying was "oh, I see" AS in, well, we've decided to breastfeed incorporate cloth diapers...."oh, I see" with a look on her face like she just smelled stinky cheese.

I love my MIL and for the most part she in very nice and doesn't really have much negative to say. There was one time however.......I was about 7 months pregnant and standing on the front porch as she pulled into our driveway. She hadn't seen me in a couple of months and got out of the car and the first words out of her mouth were......Hey Fatso!

Trying to be funny I think, but at 7 months pregnant, it didn't seem all that funny to me!!

Your daughter will DIE if she has diarhea much longer and now I am going to my church meeting.

Why don't you ever tell us anything? Because they yell, cuss, deny, and blame us when we do. DUH!

.

My MIL will call the house and when I answer she will say "oh I didn't think you were home" OK then WHY did you call?
Or I get "your home right?" well where did you just call?

MIL/FIL used to live with us for about 2.5 yrs before they moved to Cali. Now when they visit I don't know how I made it that long without killing my MIL.

Opens the cupboard where all my dishes are kept, looks at me and asks, "Are these clean?" "No, lady, I put my dirty dishes there. The clean ones are out on the countertop." (I resisted the urge to say that and just gave her a raised eyebrow, elongated "Yeaaaaas."

Middle Eastern hospitality dictates that the host constantly force-feed guests, and I hate that...so, I'd visit them before I was married and she's push food at me all the time, I'd take a small amount, she'd insist upon more...and then 3 hours later she tells me, "You need to reduce your weight." "Ok, then stop trying to force friggin rice & lamb on me!" (again, an internal response-not verbalized.)

During a rough patch in my marriage my FIL was trying to reassure me of how much his son loved me... "Katie, when he told us he wanted to get engaged we said, 'Why, there are more women even more beautiful than Katie. Why her?' But he insisted." My FIL is so sweet and innocent & meant well, but, yeah...does any woman REALLY not know that she's not the hotest woman in the world?

MIL calls all the time very late...called a few weeks after 11 pm...I'm groggy and answer the phone with an exaggerated& confused sounding..."helooooooo?" MIL: "What are you doing?" Me: "Sleeping." MIL: "Oh, you're home. What are the kids doing?" Me: "Sleeping--remember, we are 2 hours ahead of you." MIL: "Oh, they sleep now?" Me: "Yes, we ALL sleep NOW! I'll call you tomorrow during nap time." CLICK

MIL has a rivalry with her mother's cousin...she didn't like that I was getting close with this cousin, so to try to drive a wedge she says..."Do you know what Sally said about you when she met you? She say, 'She look like horse. What has she accomplished? Your son is doctor--why he want to marry her?'" Thanks dear, MIL, I really needed to know that--Cousin Sally and I are actually now on very good terms and I think she has learned not to judge people so quickly, but I am still angry with my MIL for telling me about it.

Soooo many more, but I smell a dirty diaper....gotta go :)

My husband's grandmother never seemed to like me much. She was already pretty old when we first met and I never had a grandmother, so I took everything she said with a grain of salt. A few months after I had my daughter, she saw me for the first time and said - looks like you put on a little weight, huh? To which I replied - why yes, I did - remember I had a BABY? A few years later I actually HAD put on some weight and she hadn't seen me in a while. I braced myself for the same comments, but when she saw me, she said - oh, you lost weight! I turned around to my husband and whispered in his ear - well, it's finally happened - your grandmother has lost her mind! She died a few years ago at 96! Gotta love the in-laws.

My husband's paternal grandmother used to call our house and when I'd answer, she'd say "Oh! Why are you answering the phone?" Ummm It's my house LOL
His maternal grandmother patted me on the arm once before we were married and said "Don't worry honey, his sisters wouldn't like ANYONE he's dating, they'll get over it." LOL well I guess now (after almost 20 years together) they are used to me huh?

Same Grandma always threatened to call the "humane society" when we gave our kids cake on their first bdays...CRACKED me up. Go ahead Grandma call the HUMANE society for "mistreating" our kids w cake.

My MIL says ALL kinds of odd things...i dunno if i have time to type them all. The WORST was when she was trying to tell us what to name our kids. She's prob still ticked off to this day about us not naming one of the kids after her. She caused a HUGE arguement between my hubby and myself. When we found out our last child was a boy. She tried to get us to name our child after her uncle (who committed suicide...no thanks) her womanizing a-hole brother (who's going to leave us ALLL kinds of money ...NOT) and FINALLY she told my hubby we should make him a Jr (though we'd already discussed and decided neither of us liked the Jr idea) because hubby was named after not only HIS grandpa and his great grandap. Suddenly, though we had discussed it and decided against it, hubby was considering it after her ramblings.

There's tons more...but I think I'll stop there. LOL thanks for the laughs!!!

EVERYTHING my MIL says is annoying!!!!

My m-i-l is always spouting off something random that usually doesnt make sense at all.
She swears that vitimans will fix everything and is always buying them for us, even though she has seen me toss them right into the trash and I have told her we dont take vitimins.
She also swears that everyone has a food allergy ( usually to wheat gluten) you cant have heartburn without being allergic to something
That you shouldnt see the same primary care dr, you should either go to the er or urgent care ( even for things that are by no means urgent or emergancy) and if that doesnt work a chriopracter must be the answer. No matter what the issue is. There are so many more but I dont have the time or the ability to type them without getting finger cramps.

Someone asked if we were having more kids(already have 3) and I said I don't know yet maybe. MIL say"M. I can't afford anymore kids"..because she pays for all my kids ! I am randomly told how to wash clothes too. "You only need a little bit of soap,and you shouldn't use smelly soap becuase it may bother their skin" My kids are 9,6,and 17 months and have no skin allergies whatsoever!
My FIL goes over pool safety with me every summer,NOT my kids,ME!
My Grandma inlaw told me babies were just sacks of blood the first three months of pregnancy. She KNOWS everything so it MUST be true! LOL

No matter what we are talking about, my MIL will say "You should.....", which is typically the complete opposite of what my hubby and I would do.

It use to really bother me, but now it is like a game. We kind of just laugh at it now.

yeah...you're asking for a book! lol

My sis-in-law, who is in her 50s but has emotional IQ of a 10-12 yr-old, once said anyone who doesn't like football is stupid. Really. I guess I should tell her anyone who doesn't like to do crafts is also stupid. I don't watch the sport, but sure like it to be on; means my hubby is home, relaxing.

My husband's folks are educators & my husband (not the favorite son) must've been on the verge of flunking out at one point (his dad was principal). Well, I can see that embarrassing them but they would bring this up EVERY time we saw them! Hello? Your son is a teacher now! When he earned his masters degree, not ONE word was said. He obviously took whatever punishment was meted out back in h.s. & turned around, since he taught gifted kids @ one point. Finally, I had had enough & said (loudly; only way to get his family to pay attention) "Isn't there a statute of limitations on that???!!" They cracked up! And haven't mentioned it since.

Hubby taught internationally as well; they came & visited (joy). When they realized he could speak Mandarin to all the cabbies (and others as well), they gave him the first compliment I have ever heard them say!

I miss Grannie though (his mom's mom) -- sweet lady!

Yes, I think a lot of us could write books! Thanks for asking/sharing!

My mother law calls all of her grandchildren HER babies. It doesn't bother me at all but my sister in law once snapped back "No! He's MY baby!!!"

If this is your grandmother, how old is she. When folks get old, and I do not
mean in their 60s, they do not have any filters. They just say things
without thinking.

My husband's paternal grandmother used to call our house and when I'd answer, she'd say "Oh! Why are you answering the phone?" Ummm It's my house LOL
His maternal grandmother patted me on the arm once before we were married and said "Don't worry honey, his sisters wouldn't like ANYONE he's dating, they'll get over it." LOL well I guess now (after almost 20 years together) they are used to me huh?

Same Grandma always threatened to call the "humane society" when we gave our kids cake on their first bdays...CRACKED me up. Go ahead Grandma call the HUMANE society for "mistreating" our kids w cake.

My MIL says ALL kinds of odd things...i dunno if i have time to type them all. The WORST was when she was trying to tell us what to name our kids. She's prob still ticked off to this day about us not naming one of the kids after her. She caused a HUGE arguement between my hubby and myself. When we found out our last child was a boy. She tried to get us to name our child after her uncle (who committed suicide...no thanks) her womanizing a-hole brother (who's going to leave us ALLL kinds of money ...NOT) and FINALLY she told my hubby we should make him a Jr (though we'd already discussed and decided neither of us liked the Jr idea) because hubby was named after not only HIS grandpa and his great grandap. Suddenly, though we had discussed it and decided against it, hubby was considering it after her ramblings.