When my back was turned, my toddler pooped on the floor, and his baby sister (6 months) crawled on over and ate it. Ewwww! Worst ever!
When my back was turned, my 1 year old got into my acrylic paints that were on the table and painted herself blue.
When my back was turned, and we were repainting our house, my 2 year old painted herself head to toe, and my 4 year old painted a freshly painted wall with primer.
When my back was turned, my 1 year old ate a bunch of mud.
When my back was turned, my 2 and 4 year old did the following (all in a 3 week period... it was a horrible 3 weeks!): dumped a case of chocolate milk out on the carpet, emptied a bottle of perfume on the carpet, tried to clean it up with shampoo, colored on the garage with sidewalk chalk, threw poop on the ceiling, painted their walls, window, beds and carpet with butter and some jam, dumped sugar on the floor. They started sneaking out of their room at night to get into stuff. Was really happy when that phase ended.
Wow, I feel like an inattentive mom listing those! To be fair, it was years ago.
When my MIL's back was turned (well, she actually had not woken up yet) her 2 year old (and my now-husband) found the griddle, plugged it in, got out the bacon and cooked it by himself. Yikes!!!!