JFF - To the Wives/Husbands of Bed Hogs

Updated on November 04, 2012
V.K. asks from Chisago City, MN
16 answers

I was looking forward to this weekend. Why? Because both my husband and son were supposed to be gone last night. I was not excited that they were going to be gone, although I was looking forward to being able to watch whatever I wanted on TV. I was excited that I was going to bed the whole bed to myself!!!

Oliver, who is 2, still sleeps with us. He proves every night that the littlest of people can take up the most room on the bed. Ever night Justin and I are pushed to the edges of the bed and he is in between, hogging the rest.

You would think that when Oliver leaves for the night to stay with grandma, both Justin and I get to sprawl out separately and be happy. No. When Oliver is gone, Justin takes up 3/4 of the bed while I am yet again pushed to the edge.

Well, my husband ended up staying home last night because he decided to leave this morning (Hunting) and I was yet again pushed to the edge while he hogged the rest of the bed.

I love being married to him. I love living with him. I love cuddling with him (But not while we are trying to sleep). Yet, I find myself wishing that we lived on the Dick Van Dike Show and had separate beds! So, to the wives/husbands of bed hogs... Do you secretly wish the whole separate bed thing was still around?

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So What Happened?

Oh my god, I am so jealous of the people who have separate bedrooms! I need my TV on to sleep... He prefers no noise or light. I like my windows closed, blinds down, and all doors closed (Don't ask why on the last one, it's hard to explain)... He likes the windows open, blinds up, and doesn't care about the doors but always leaves them open. I will cuddle with my man all day long but once I'm in bed I do NOT want to be touched. He loves to cuddle. All day and all night. Urg.

My grandparents (Who have been married for over 60 years) sleep in separate bedrooms. My grandpa's snoring annoys my grandma, and my grandpa's sleep apnea machine annoys my grandpa (I say they are both making noise and their logic is faulty but they have been married for so long that no one can argue, Lol)

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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

We are both pretty good, I have to admit. We have a queen-sized bed, and sometimes when we sleep in a king-sized one (i.e. at a hotel), it almost feels too big! Like he's too far away because I can't sense his closeness at all! But maybe for you guys, that would be the answer?

2 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Okay I can TOTALLY relate!
The thing is, to me, beds are made for small people, or only made for ONE person.
Why?
Because, only one person fits in a bed, comfortably.
I mean, the other person, the Spouse, takes up the ENTIRE bed!
OMG... I am pushed to the very edge too! I HATE it, but Hubby completely denies... this is a problem, nor that he does that.
The guy is like way taller and bigger than me... and he takes up the entire bed. I can't sleep well like that.
Who can!

Even if a bed is a King sized bed, it doesn't matter. Bed Hogs take up all the room and sprawl all over and still claim they don't have enough room.

I AM SO GLAD you posted this!

1 mom found this helpful

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S.L.

answers from New York on

I understand! The funniest thing was the night he called ME a bed hog! I said dont move! quickly turned on the light and told him to look at where he was in the bed, he admitted he was taking up more than half the bed and calling me the bed hog.

4 moms found this helpful
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L.F.

answers from Chicago on

The separate bed thing is alive and well in my house. Actually, the way it worked out with the crazy night nursing and my husband's super early morning wake times, we ended up taking separate bedrooms and never bothered to switch back.

I love having my own room and going to sleep whenever I want. Having the covers to myself is bliss. Likewise, my husband is a light sleeper, so he loves being able to get a good night's sleep. We still get our "couples time" -- just not while we're sleeping. And I think we are both happier for it.

2 moms found this helpful
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B.P.

answers from Cleveland on

Not at all. I love cuddeling up to my man. If he starts moving me i kick him n he goes back to his side. Normally its me that is the hog quite a few times i haved pushed him out of bed. My daughter is a hog 100% shr slept with me for 2 hrs one morning bc she woke up from a dream so i put herin bed with me n i had to ask her to move over a couple times n she scooted her butt over then once i got situated scooted her butt back over

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

I had to laugh a little at your post. Sounds like my house somewhat :) When my husband would hog the bed, I just climbed on top of him and pretended to sleep that way. He got the picture and now is more gracious with giving me some room :)

1 mom found this helpful

A.W.

answers from Washington DC on

I am with you. I would love separate beds and be able to push them together for some lovin' and then apart for some good sleep. The best sleep I get is after my husband gets up for work around 3:30 am. I love my husband but those 3 hours after he's out are wonderful because that bed is ALL mine.

Sandy L. - that is too funny! My husband told me the same thing and it was him that was sprawled all over my side :)

1 mom found this helpful

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

My hubs is the opposite...he'll end up on the edge of his side, and I'll stay on my side. Not a bed hog. Instead, he steals all the covers! I end up clinging to a sheet and trying to pull the blanket back over!

When he's away, I miss him so much...but I stay warmer!

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would LOVE to find that mute button Manda's talking about! It's the NOISE decibel that sometimes lands O. of us on the spare room bed!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from Boston on

We have a king size bed and 2 down comforters, one for each of us to roll up in. My kids each have a twin bed with their own down comforter. Easy to open in the morning and air out the bed and then just fluff back over the bed at night. He does tend to sprawl on his belly and rake his 2 pillows under his head so his posture is wider since I sleep on my back and often wake up in the exact same position. It is more for noise level issues that will I go to the guest bed - I think he has allergies but refuses to take anything for them so he snores at night and clears his throat loudly every morning when he wakes (my dad did the same!).
A bigger bed might help or else get 2 twins and put them next to each other - the frame should keep him from hogging yours.

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A.L.

answers from Charleston on

hahaha! Before my husband and I were married, I told him that he could not cross the invisible line down the center of the bed while I was sleeping. If he did, he'd get a swift kick. I also told him I had two antique twin beds that we could sleep in if he didn't behave. I need my own space when I'm sleeping and I don't want anyone touching me.

We had a queen sized mattress for the first 6 years, and I thought I would die I felt so cramped. We finally got a king size, and it has made all the difference in how we both sleep.

I can relate. It's tough when you want your OWN space when you are sleeping and you have a hog in bed with you. :)

Good luck!

A.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

V.,
While my husband is nearly 3 times my size, I am the one that hogs the bed. On behalf of the Bed Hogs, SORRY! We don't mean to! Of course, I get totally crabby with my husband's snoring and have to remind myself that he is not purposefully trying to annoy me, too.
The best thing we ever did was buy a king sized bed with a memory foam mattress. (We had a queen for the first 10 years and through all my pregnancies). We can both sprawl all over the bed and still not touch each other (yeah, not a snuggler, either...touch me while I am sleeping & you will regret it! Lol). If you don't have a king sized bed, I really would suggest saving up for one and seeing about moving Oliver to his own bed. I swear you will be a happier person all around for it. Good sleep is sooooo important... I have had my share of insomnia issues and those were the worst times of my life, not sure how I even made it through intact.
BTW apparently it is quite "in" for builders to put in 1 separate master bedrooms with a shared bathroom, because these sort of sleep issues are so common and so many people have determined that they just need separate beds. My parents and parents in law have separate bedrooms due to sleep issues.

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

hee!!!!
i totally get the secret bliss of occasional solitude. i never want to be without the ol' man, but i sure do boing around like a kid on the first day of summer vacation when i get a day here at the farm all to my only. now that the boys have moved it, it might actually happen more often!
over 3 decades we've figured out how to sleep together. i think i'm harder to sleep with than he is (i do the crocodile death roll all night, whereas he just readjusts occasionally like a normal person) but sometimes he does a cover snatch and i have to grumble and unwrap him.
but i just got back from almost 2 weeks at my favorite aunt's house. my bed was gloriously comfy and i lovelovelove being there. but i found that i really missed having the ol' man next to me.
that being said, i can totally understand your POV. if he, rather than i, were the difficult sleeper, i too would be thinking longingly of the separate beds.
:) khairete
S. (who only makes room for the kitten now)

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

I am the bed hog in the family. But my youngest is right there behind me. When we go on vacation and have too small of a be for husband and I to share my little one wants to share with one of us. I tell him he has to share with his daddy. One time I told him he could share with me but not to cross a certain spot and he fell off the bed trying not to kick me.

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S.R.

answers from El Paso on

No, I just "accidentally" flop my arm over and hit him on the arm... :)

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D.F.

answers from Boston on

I would LOVE my own room. I could watch what I want, have the door shut and window open. I would have no knees in my back , no hand flopping in my face, no bad breath blowing my way and no man gas either!!!

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