JFF!! Whats the Best New Mommy Advice You Have or Have Been Given?

Best advice? Teach baby to say Dada first. That way when the baby wakes in the middle of the night, he or she will call for Daddy. Daddy will be on deck because he was "requested". ;)

I have heard it said that "every normal, new mother feels like throwing her adorable baby out of the window at some point!" And though it sounds harsh, those first few sleep-deprived months can seem like an eternity! LOL

Practical advice... Buy diapers a size bigger than their weight indicates so they do not leak, especially at night.

The best place for baby to sleep is wherever baby sleeps.

When you bring new baby home and baby and your older child both need you at the same time...go to your oldest child first, then to the newborn. Your newborn will not remember fussing for a few minutes, but your older child will surely remember you attending to the NB first. (Within reason of course)

That was the best advice I was given when I was freaking out about the transition from 1 to 2, and it was given to me by my lovely pediatrician.

You sleep when the baby sleeps.

Just keep repeating "this too, shall pass".

What I learned from my late Dad. And how he raised me. And how I raise my own children:

1) Let your children... be Themselves.
Respect them, learn about them, nurture them and their own talents and interests.
Each child is unique.
2) Do not compare the children.
3) Do not live through your children.

4) A child has to "trust" you too. And you they.
It takes, creating a "RELATIONSHIP" with them.. not the dynamic only being about scolding and punishing a child. But having a relationship with them... letting them express their hopes/dreams/fears/ideas.... and listening to them when they 'critique' you too. Because, they also know, things.

5) A child's relationship with a parent... is sacred.
And their parent is a child's soft place to fall... for whatever reason. Good or bad or happy or sad. So nurture them... and your relationship WITH them. So that, as they grow up... they will come to YOU, for any issues or problems and trust you. Instead of getting fulfilled, elsewhere or with harmful people and relationships.

6) How you treat them, will impact the kind of partner they then, find for themselves. Remember, that.

7) You do not 'train' a child or baby. You GUIDE them and teach them.

8) Keep expectations about your child, AGE-Appropriate. Do not expect a baby for example, to act like an older child.

all the best,
Susan

I second the comfort the older child advice already mentioned.

Best advice I was given was a baby won't die from crying. If you are overwhelmed, put baby in crib/swing/safe place and take a few minutes for yourself. Breathe, eat a cookie, cry, whatever you have to do for 10 minutes to gather yourself. If you make yourself strung out and anxious, it will radiate back to baby and its a vicious cycle. One of you has to be calm.

I also learned that you are a person first, you are your own individual with your own wants and dreams and goals and you do not have to sacrifice that because you are a mom. You are YOU first and mom second. A friend of mine said she was looking at all her cute trendy clothes when she was preggo with #1 and thought "Oh well, I'll have to get rid of these once I'm a mom," and now after #2 she says, "If I fit into that outfit I am wearing it!" And she is completely right-- don't sacrifice yourself, become so absorbed in your kids that you loose who you are. Happy moms= happy babies, pure and simple.

Oh, and drink lots of wine. ;)

When my first was born a friend told me....If you can do it, breastfeed and don't give it up no matter how hard it becomes. It's the most amazing way to bond with your baby. She was SO right.

With a baby, the days drag but the years fly by. So my best advice would be to take a moment (or as much as you like!) to just *be* with your baby. Memorize the shape of her lip; feel how soft her skin is; breathe in that sweet baby smells. Because soon enough she's going to be a smelly, screaming, in-door tornado that won't sit still for 3 seconds! lol ENJOY the baby stage...and toddler stage...and EVERY stage, because it really does fly by too fast.

Oh, and take LOTS of pictures and video because those first few months can be a real blur of feedings, diapers, spit-up and broken sleep :o)

Take the time to 'freeze' moments into your brain.

For example, my now 4 year old used to be a tiny little baby. I would feed him his last bottle before bed and then tuck him under my chin facing my chest and burp him. We'd always spend some extra time rocking, relaxing. I burned this image in my brain and to this day I can still imagine him as a little snuggly froggy. Fast forward to last weekend when he woke up during the thunderstorms. He was scared so I rocked with him in the chair for a little bit and he was in the same position as he was when I remembered him at 9 months old. Except...this time his arms and legs flopped over my lap (and the edges of the chair!).

You bet I spent extra time rocking him, just remembering those days when he actually 'fit' in my lap! It was a sweet moment.

Which would you prefer your kids to reflect on as grown-ups?
A) that they grew up in a spotless house, with perfect meals/meal times and freshly washed sheets.
or B) mom always had time for me and we did lots of fun things together. I remember her taking us to the park, the zoo, the beach, hiking in the woods etc.

For me, it's choice B - with a "maintained" house and a lot of great memories. I have only this time with my kids and the rest of my life to have a spotless house.......So don't sweat the small stuff.

The child that deserves love the least, usually needs it the most

Best advice I was EVER given?

"Throw away the baby books and do what works."

The BEST I got was a friend who told me that each stage has great parts and "not so great parts". If we focus on the negative and wish the stage away to get over (not sleeping through the night etc) we will "miss out " on the great parts - bonding and just holding the precious little miracle in the middle of the night when it's just the two of you... Remembering this through all the stages - terrible twos to teenagers helps focus on the positive and absolutely wonderful experience and an blessing it is to be a parent.

Take tons of pictures, they grow so fast. You will want to look back and see them when they were little.

Time goes by sooooooo fast and when you think you are too tired to go on without pulling your hair out you always have to step back and remind yourself that you never get another go at yesterday so soak up the moment now while you have it to enjoy.
Oh and take tons of pictures
Congrats on the little one

1. "The older they get, the MORE your kids need you." (so very true, as the mom of 2 teens, I can attest to this!) and
2. "Sleep when the baby sleeps" (ahh, if only it were that easy!)

Great question! I'm sure you will get tons of wonderful and sage advice :)

These are the pieces of advice that were given to me and have stuck since:

-Trust yourself. A mother's intuition is one of our most invaluable tools.

-Nothing is going to come at you that you won't be able to handle and get through.

-Progress not perfection; happy mama, happy baby.

-Ask for help and give help when you need/can.

-Babies grow really fast! Buy clothes a size or two too big.

-Take it as easy as you *possibly* can, during the first weeks after birth. The way we treat our bodies after birth will impact our body for the rest of our life.

-A child who is loved, is a child who will flourish. *Love* is the most important gift we give and receive from our children.

Love that idea, have done it myself. Take a picture of her with them and later place it on that page that they wrote on. We used a polaroid once which was great, after we just did 1 hr photo the next day to be sure we got it done. Best advice, sleep when baby sleeps.

wow, there are some great responses to this! some made me teary eyed... so far the best advice I've received was from my mom: "trust yourself, because you know best, whether or not you know it"

Taking time for yourself does not equate negleting or depriving your baby. You need to take care of yourself to be able to take care of your baby. And it is okay to ask for help!

Though it is how we were designed, breastfeeding is not always easy and does not always just come naturally. It can take a lot of work, and if it doesn't work, it does not mean you are not a wonderful mom.

I was recently given this advice...it does not matter what you feed your children, what activities you have them in, whether they are in daycare or at home or with a nanny......what does matter is that your children always know that you love them.

You have received such fantastic advice so far so I'll just add this:

Don't compare your kids to other people's kids. It'll only drive you nuts. 8)

Ohhh......and there is no such thing as "too many kisses". My MIL used to say I kissed my son too much. She's a little wacky.

Peace.

cherish the good with the bad because tomorrow your baby won't be a baby anymore!!

That every mom, every baby, every family is different so what it works for one it may ot work for another. Be open to hear the advice but don't never feel the obligation to follow it if your hearts says is not for you.

Learn to cook freezable meals. And learn to loooove left overs for the nights you dont want to, or dont have time to cook :)

Love this idea! A friend did this for us at our wedding.

I second the "sleep when baby sleeps". I had the hardest time doing this. And I was exhausted to prove it.

Also, hold that baby as much as you can! The laundry and dishes can wait. They are only small for a short time!

Additionally, take help from whomever is willing. When your MIL offers to cook a meal, take it! When the neighbor offers to take your oldest to a movie with her kids, let her! And don't be afraid or too proud to ask for help with anything.

Lastly, learn to love Ramen noodles again!

"You cannot spoil a baby." Hold your baby as much as you can, go to them when they cry, love on them like crazy (and ignore your MIL who says you are spoiling them). They have their whole lives to be independent-right now they need you!

If it isn't going to matter 5 years from now, don't stress over it now. Choose your battles. And there have been many times I have reminded myself of this advice! ...a whole jar of vasaline in the hair, my son giving himself and his younger sister wonderful haircuts... mommyhood is such a fun adventure =)

"Let your baby be a baby, cause they're gonna grow up so fast anyway"

1. My pediatrician's advice for getting baby to sleep through the night...

Feed baby every 2-3 hours from the time you want baby to wake up in the morning to the time you want baby to go to bed at night, even if you have to wake baby up to feed. Then, feed baby on demand at night. Once baby reaches 12-15 pounds, nighttime calories are no longer needed.

The rationale...babies don't sleep at night for two reasons: they're not tired or they're hungry. By feeding baby every 2-3 hours during the day, you insure they are getting enough calories to not need the nighttime ones. Also, by feeding baby every 2-3 hours, which is very hard work for baby, you make sure they never drop into a deep sleep and are tired at bedtime.

As a first time mom, this made sense to me and I religiously followed her advice. Both my sons were sleeping from 7:30pm to 5-6am at six weeks old, to the day. They've been sleeping through the night (barring illness) ever since...and they're now 13 and almost 17!

2. Begin with the end in mind.

Think about the kind of person you want baby to be the day they graduate from high school. Honest? Responsible? A good reader? Values education? Whatever those characteristics are, identify them and then identify HOW someone learns to be that. Begin teaching those characteristics the moment you bring baby home from the hospital.

For example, me and my husband wanted, among other things, our sons to be healthy eaters and good sleepers. From day one, we worked to that goal. Bedtime/naptime was/is sacred. Healthy food and exercise was/is sacred. As for the rest of the characteristics, we found age appropriate ways to teach them and pounded the message home. Most of the time, people thought we were absolutely insane, "he's just a [fill in the blank] year old! You're expecting too much!" But we ignored them and kept at it.

My sons are 13 and nearly 17. They sleep well, eat well, and exercise well. They are responsible, good students, mannerly and generally well-liked by peers and adults alike. Yes, they have their moments, but, for the most part they're great young men (see the post about moms who brag too much! <wink>). But, this didn't happen by accident. It happened because we began with the end in mind!

Good luck!

'There's no 'one' way to be a perfect mom but a million ways to be a wonderful mom'
every child is different what works for one baby doesn't necessary work for another
accept all offers of help and ask for help when you need it and if your feeling resentful towards your partner/mom/sister because you feel they are letting you down then say something, don't bottle it up because you won't forget in 6mths time.
mt favorite
'cleaning and sweeping can wait til tomorrow
babies grow up we learn to our sorrow
so quiet down cobwebs and dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep'

Oh so true - the first year is the longest and shortest year of your life ;-)
Very thoughtful and useful gift. How big is the book ? I did something silmilar for a friend and asked each person to provide a photo and they all had a picture page then a comment page. Hope you have fun at the shower

Little kids, little problems
Big kids, big problems

So true:)

M.

I am sure you received alot of great advice but I wanted to add if no one else did. Do not let your baby sleep in your bed every night. My daughter is 4 years old and sleeping our bed. It is a struggle.....

"There's nothing that 5 minutes at the breast can't cure."
"Pick your battles. If you think there won't be any, you're nuts. If you think you'll win them all you're delusional."

The best advice I got was to NOT rock your baby to sleep and to keep them in their own crib/bed in their OWN room...from day ONE. Which I did and am so thankful! I had 2 kids who slept 12 hours straight thru the night from the first week they were home from the hospital and did that until they were almost 3. Also if you have a pacifier user, get rid of it BEFORE they are a year old. Otherwise that is a hard battle to fight! Good luck!

Take lots of pictures. They grow so fast, and change so much, and it's fun to look back and see how much they have changed over the years. Buy one of those books where you can write down all of their milestones.

"Will it matter 10 years from now?" Everything seems REALLY important when it's happening and sometimes the little things our kids do can drive us crazy, but, if the answer to this question is "no," try to just let it go! In other words, pick your battles wisely.

1. Join a moms group
2. This more for and not your sister. My favorite present after I had my children was someone making food or a gift certicate to go eat.
3.keep a jouranal of all thise funny moments