Just Asking, Mean Question?

When I was pregnant I was wearing my favorite sweat pants that said Hawaii on the butt.

He said "I didnt know Hawaii was that big."

Also, while pregnant, for Valentines day he got me a huge box of chocolates (yay!) and then he said "I would have gotten you flowers, but you cant eat those."

: /

Men are idiots.

How about "are you always an insensitive jerk-off?"

I'm just kidding... I wouldn't say that. I remember getting up in the middle of the night and having to go eat something. We get hungry supplying food to a growing baby!! What does he expect??

Eat when you're hungry and don't worry about him just askin'

Ask him "I made a lung today, what did you do?"

I'd have responded, "Only when I'm hungry, so a better question would have been, 'Are you always hungry?' to which I would reply, more so than usual because I'M CARRYING YOUR SPAWN!"

my answer to him would be, "are you always a jerk or just when i'm carrying your child?"

yes it's insensitive. but you can get mad instead. stand up for yourself! :) or come up with a whitty retort of your own. totallly rude! (haha...i see my answer is not unique)

Wow, is he insensitive much? I'd probably whack my husband with a frying pan for that....

I too have problems taking some questions too personally. While I really like one&done's answer - his question really offered two ways to respond, and the choice of response is up to you.

You could get pissed (I wouldn't blame you)

You could be playful about it (My wife is pregnant again...and ya know - she DOES eat more.)

You got pissed, got upset and probably had a bad night and maybe no sleep - and now you're here. Again - totally valid reaction.

But what would your night have looked like if you tried to have a little fun with the one person in the world who could ask you about eating.

H: Are you always eating?
W: No - this is pumkin food. I think one's growing in my belly....

I think that would have been a much nicer evening. :)

He so can not relate to what you are going through right now.
My husband was "What can I do?, "How can I help?, "What do you need?" and sometimes my answer was "I have no idea, but soon as I figure it out I'll be sure to clue you in".
When I was pregnant I went from comfortable, no worries to FOOD! GOTTA HAVE SOME! NOW!!! in 30 seconds or less and it could happen any time day or night.
My blood sugar would just plummet with no warning and if I didn't have a snack handy I was a short tempered crabby person to be around.
Next time your husband asks, tell him
"Yes, I'm always eating. Child's in charge of my appetite right now and doesn't care what you or I have to say about it. If you've got a problem with that, feel free to carry the next child we have and let me know how that works for you.".

Ouch!
Need he be reminded what you are putting your body through to get his his child here safe and healthy? I take offense to that and that comment hurts my feelings for you. Of course, stay healthy but that's coming from someone that gained nearly 70 pounds with my last! If your hungry, eat. Its so emotional and draining being pregnant by goodness if you want a snack then you have it love!!

omg...can't...stop...laughing... OneAndDone, you crack me UP! That's exactly what I would have said had my dh been so clueless. The only thing he ever says to pregnant women is, "You look great!" And that's exactly how it should be.

It sounds like an observation, nothing more. Granted it was reasonable that you would take it the wrong way so perhaps he should have kept his mouth shut.

kick him in the nuts.

Try not to take it personally. Sounds like he's trying to make conversation. Or he's being passive aggressive and trying to tell you he doesn't want you eating so much/all the time. Also sounds like he's clueless when it comes to feelings, how to be tactful, and how to react when someone is upset.

I suggest that you trying talking with him when everything is going OK. Use I statements. "I get upset when you say............" Please stop asking that question." Also say I feel unsupported by you with this pregnancy. I need you to do such and such."

Read about Non-violent communication. It teaches how to talk with each other so that each can hear what is being said. This way of talking can eliminate barriers to communication.

There is a book with that title and here is a web site describing it's concept. http://www.cnvc.org/Training/NVC-Concepts

Men are crass.
It's probably his way of protecting you from gaining too much weight, he actually thinks he's doing you a favor I"m sure.
I doubt he will console you much after the baby comes when you start complaining about dropping any extra pounds you may have put on.
He's just making you aware.
Mean? yes.
Does he mean well? probably

@OneAndDone's answer is the PERFECT comeback. I can't stop laughing. If that doesn't shut his mouth, I don't know what the answer is!

O.M.G.
Let me go over there and swat your Husband for you.
No, more like, whack him.

I, for the past 2 days, have had a stomach bug. Meaning, I have been puking and having diarrhea... along with chills and fever and body aches and stomach cramps. I have even missed work.

So, I have eaten hardly anything (except for 3 bananas and sips of water and Miso soup)... SINCE Sunday night (that is all I could muster to eat or make myself eat) , and today is Tuesday night. (in my time-zone). So that is 2 days I have hardly eaten.

So this evening I tell my Hubby how I am gonna try and eat... since today, I am feeling better. But that I am only going to eat a little, just some plain pasta in some broth... for now, being I was just hit by a stomach virus.
Then he goes "but I saw you eat.... you were eating like normal.... what's the big deal of making like you haven't eaten?"
OKAY. first off, I was not making a big deal of it and NO I HAVE NOT EATEN, ANY 'MEALS' SINCE SUNDAY NIGHT. AND he ONLY saw me eating a damn Banana and broth soup. But, he makes like I have been eating like a pig all the while I was sick. And I was not.
But the thing is... ANY time my Husband sees me eat, he automatically thinks, that that BRIEF window of him 'seeing' me eat, means to him that I have been doing that ALL day, Even if he was not home at all, all day etc.
Then he complains about how he didn't eat lunch because there was not time at work... and then he scarfs when he comes home after work.
And then I tell him "whoa, you sure eat a lot.... is that a snack?"

IGNORE your Husband.
BUT... you gotta not take it also.
Because, he is being back-handed and sarcastic.... and you do not want him getting that way, once the baby arrives.
He better start realizing, ALL the things HE will have to do TOO... once baby arrives.

AND, tell him, you are eating healthy for baby being formed in your tummy.
He has never been pregnant.

AND no, this is NOT you being "emotional" just because you are pregnant... I am not pregnant and my Husband made a comment about me eating (after being sick) and I... gave him a piece of my mind.
He then, backtracked.
My Husband, eats and snacks, MORE than me.
I tracked it even, and showed him.
Just to make a point.

The thing is: when anyone... insults your being, don't take it.
I would have told off your Husband.
Gee, you cried and got upset with him "three times" thus far, with this pregnancy.
Well the guy better realize he is lucky.
That is not much at all.
He needs to tend to his pregnant wife.

yeah, that's pretty awful.
on the one hand, sometimes people just don't think. my ol' man, who is one of the nicest fellows i know and is generally pretty sensitive, let this one loose a couple of hours after i delivered his second son, and was tucked back in my room. dylan was off getting weighed or something, and i laboriously got up and waddled across the room, and he remarked 'got another one in there?'
now granted, i put on massive amounts of weight with both my pregnancies, and it showed. but in the midst of my post-delivery euphoria, that fell like an atom bomb.
in his defense, he almost never lets something that awful slip.
on the other hand, since it happens frequently, i think your guy sounds pretty mean. i think that you need to work with him on effective communications when you're NOT pregnant and see if he can learn a little kindness.
khairete
S.

I know he deserves a snappy comeback, but they don't help much! I think a better thing to do would be a 'hey, why did you ask me that?' See what he says. He may be concerned about your weight gain, health, or he may just even think is amazing how much a pregnant woman needs to consume. Who knows! It does sound like a possible passive aggressive way for him to comment on your weight gain, but it might not be. If he is concerned about the weight the best thing is to talk about it in my opinion. My husband loves me soooooo much, but he is not to crazy about the post pregnancy weight. We have talked about it and he supports me totally in getting it off and now that we talked openly and he got to say how he felt about it, he makes zero off the cuff comments and he knows that I care about how he feels and he also knows the struggle I have been through with it as well. So I say open communication is best. He could have just been talking out of the side of his head and not even thought much about it. Never know until you ask! Hang in there and congrats on your new little bundle of joy :D

Did he not notice anything with the first pregnancy? Of course you are hungry--you are growing a baby! By all means try talking to him.

say this " um yea!" and if you want you can also eat you know.

I like Nicole's answer 'only when I'm hungry'. Sometimes men don't THINK what they are saying is upsetting to us girls. Sometimes we think too deep about it. Just chalk it up as him talking to you and not thinking about it first. Maybe tomorrow night, before your snack, you should tell him "just so you know, I'm hungry, and I'm going to go eat. Is that OK?" Maybe he'll get the hint that it bothered you. Sounds like you are doing good though, if you've only been upset a few times.

Just tell him "Yes. Annnd.......?"

I nibbled at junk all the way through my pregnancies. I was extremely nauseous for both (until they were delivered, not just the first trimester) and had ptyalism (excessive salivation) with funky metallic and gross tastes in my mouth anytime I went more than 15 minutes without something in my mouth. At least it seemed that way to me. Gum didn't help, it had that nasty used up taste in about 5 minutes and that was worse than just going without munching some kind of food. So I WAS constantly eating something or sucking on a piece of candy or whatever.

And near the end of my pregnancies, I was putting a towel on top of my pillow at night, to catch the excess saliva. Swallowing it made me more nauseous, and when I was sleeping, it drooled out anyway. (SO gross... sorry TMI)...

But just answer the question. "Yes". Then what is he going to say? Is he going to complain or tell you you shouldn't? Tell him that when he carries the baby inside his body, he can choose what and when HE eats. :) Maybe he'll get a clue...

I was very emotional with my 2nd pregnancy. Would start crying over sappy commercials! Just look at him and ask, "Are you really that insensitive and stupid?"