Just Discovered My Son Is Involved with Drugs, HELP!

Be calm. Ask him questions like why he feels the need to experiment with drugs. Ask him how long he has been using them. Tell him it will stunt his growth as a human, both mentally and physically, etc. Talk to him about the dangers. Ask him lots of questions and perhaps you need to visit a place where recovering addicts go or he may need to talk to an addict, maybe he needs to watch Intervention. He needs to understand the dangers. You really never know what you are smoking, injecting, etc. if you are buying something off the streets or even from friends. You need to ground him, but don't overreact where he thinks he can't talk to you anymore. You want to keep an open dialogue. Tell him that you will not permit this and that if you ever find him with drugs or on drugs again you will have to take away all of his privileges. Do you know if this is a one time thing or has he been using for a while? edited to add-- did you ask him if it was cocaine?? Could be anything smashed up and inhaled, like oxycontin, ritalin, or cocaine ... other things look like cocaine, too. If he has an addiction you need to set him up with therapy, if he was just experimenting he needs lots of talking to and lots of supervision. You know your son better than we do.

Talk to him. Find out how long he's been doing it, why he's doing it, if he needs help stopping. If so, get him help ASAP. Don't go at in an accusing way, just sit down and talk to him.

First of all, I'm sorry, I'm sure you're in shock and freaking out.
Secondly, what exactly did you find? Do you have any idea how long he's been using whatever it is he's using? Please edit your question so we can help you better!
With so little information from you I am disappointed in many of the responses so far...cops, rehab, zero tolerance?!?!
Please sit down with your son (as a sane few have suggested) and TALK to him. As hard as it can be, try not to judge, but ask why. Share your concerns, talk about risks, pressures, etc.
Obviously if he is an addict, or is clearly on the path to becoming one, that requires intervention, rehab, whatever you can do. But if this in "normal" teenage experimenting DO NOT ruin your relationship by overreacting. You know, as the mother of two teens (ages 15 and 17) I find the parents who are freaking out the most are the ones who themselves partied really hard in high school. The loudest speakers are usually the biggest hypocrites. And, yes, I have had to deal with something similar to this recently with one of my own kids, very painful, but fortunately not too serious. *edit, and yes, I experimented as a teen too, mostly with pot and some drinking, as did almost everyone I knew, we were good kids and good students, and ALL of us are now thriving, working, successful people and parents, life is GOOD* Best of luck to you :)

you need to sit and talk with him. Not just you talking let him talk to. Let him feel like you are someone he can talk to. there needs to be open communication on both sides. If you have ever experimented your self now is a time to talk with him about it. And you have to learn to trust him to make better decisions. Some times it is a one time thing but if he feels you dont trust him then he will close up and not talk to you about things. If it continues to be a problem check with the schools about programs in your area. Here we have what is called Youth at Risk. Good luck and I will pray for you but dont do anything extreme it can just cause a whole nother world of problems for you

Talk to him about it.
What are the drugs, how/where did he get them, why is he taking them, who turned him on to them, how long has he been using, what's going on in his life, has something changed, etc.
I smoked pot in my bedroom from ages 14 through 17 and my parents never knew. I went on to become a successful, happily married mom-this is not necessarily the end of the world. He's experimenting, and as troubling as that is it's not exactly abnormal. Push for him to see a counselor, whether it's through the school or private office. I wish my parent's had caught on and sent me to see a psychiatrist, to be perfectly honest. teen years are tough. Everything is a tragedy (even if it seems stupid to everyone else). Drugs are a form of escapism. I didn't know how to cope after my first love broke my heart and I turned to pot and alcohol at a very early age. Everyone around me treated me like the breakup was no big deal because we were so young, and I didn't have the courage to tell anyone just how depressed I felt over the whole thing. Something that seems relatively minor could be causing him a great deal of stress right now. He might just need help finding a healthy coping mechanism. I don't think that punishment alone is going to help; getting to the heart of the matter is a must. If he won't talk honestly with you (and he probably won't ) make an appointment with a professional. I hope it's just pot that you found and not something stronger. I wish you luck.

Confront him, but calmly. You are the adult here and this is your home and he needs to understand and follow the rules. But let him talk first and listen to him. This won't be one conversation, it will be an ongoing conversation.

You have several options.

1. Freak out. which will then put him on the defensive.
2. Calm down. Take a deep breath.
3. Ask him to come into the kitchen or living room or where ever you can have a comfortable conversation.
a. Tell him what you found - yes, you were snooping in his room (or however you found them) and you want to know more about them.
b. You can tell him that you are sorely disappointed and would like him to take a test to see just what he has in his system (you can buy the drug kit from CVS).
c. You can tell him you are going to turn him over to the police as well as the drugs (ONLY if you intend to do this - don't make it a hollow threat).
d. you MUST let him talk - this isn't about YOU right now - this is about him and his "need" to do drugs or experiment with them...does he know what he's doing to his brain? his body? does he care?

If the answer is "I don't care" get him into a live-in rehab center so that he can get clean and sober.

If your husband or you have a job that requires a security clearance - he needs to know that he has just put the whole family (house, cars, jobs, etc.) in jeopardy.....

Any way you stack it - you need to have a heart-to-heart with him - find out how much he's done, why he's doing it, the affects - what HE KNOWS - if you start "bitching" at him or "nagging" him - he will clam up and you will get no where.

Make sure he knows that he can come to you with ANYTHING...but there are things that you will not tolerate while he's living under your roof. Rules, consequences, etc. but he NEEDS to talk to you about this!!!

you will be in my thoughts and prayers!!

In patient rehab. Seriously.

You didn't give much info-what drugs you found, how much, have you noticed changes in his behavior/grades?

I would not call the cops right away-that goes on his record and can prevent him from getting things like federal financial aid for college etc.

If he were my child I'd have a long talk-two way and non confrontational. I'd ask how long he's been using and how often. I would probably do a drug test to see if there are other drugs that he's been using. Tell him I love and trust him, but for his safety I want to make sure everything is out in the open.

Obviously I'd go over the dangers-physical, mental, social with him. He probably knows already but that is fine. It's always good to go over again.

Lay down house rules-Absolutely no drugs in the house etc.

I'd tell him if he got caught buying/using that I would not bail him out. It is illegal and I will not enable him.

Ask if he needs help-tell him you will help him in any way possible-counseling, rehab etc if he needs it.

I recommend for you to go to ALANON so you can meet other people in your position, what to look for, how to not be an enabler and for support. I found it extremely helpful when I was in a relationship with an alcoholic/addict.

I experimented in high school/college and I'm lucky that nothing happened to me with the situations that I put myself in and lucky that I didn't get addicted. I know lots of people who have experimented and turned out wonderfully but I also know people who were not as lucky. If you experimented you may want to share that with him at this point so he knows you understand where he is coming from.

Keep the lines of communication open and voice your concerns and let him know all your "butting in" is all out of love.

I know this was a bit scattered but I hoped it helped. Good luck.

See if you can get him into counseling, ground him until the end of school-search his room everyday-test him every week-don't let him have friends over or go anywhere except school and then home-in other words-you're screwed. Their peers can talk them into anything-prayer is your ally right now-I hope you have a husband that will join you in this fight-and I do mean fight. Make sure he doesn't have access to any money. I wish you all the luck in the world and pray to God for your son's safety and well being.

Talk to your child, find out how long this has been going on, but first make sure that you explain that beimg honest is the best thing to do at this time. Explain to him the harm that drugs can and will do to his body and mind. I wouldn't turn him into the police because this could make matters worst. Talk to your child and just maybe you will say something that will help him. Go In Peace

OK--having a SIBLING with a lifelong drug addiction, I can see all sides of this issue.
I don't know what the drugs you found were.
Anything other than pot, I would be extremely concerned.
If it's pot, we might assume he has done a little "experimenting, etc.
BUT anything else and I think you have a potentially very serious issue.
Attacking and freaking out will not work.
Confiscate the drugs, wait until he's home, sit him down and show him what you found.
You need to deal with this with honesty and concern.
Start looking for drugs at least once per week in his room.
Carefully observe him when he returns home.
Any suspicions of continued use--he needs treatment.

Bust him, call the police and get him while he is still considered a minor!

Blessings.....

dont confiscate the drugs, call the police, and let them deal with him. if you take the drugs out of his room, he will just go out and get more. but, if you let the police deal with him directly,he might actually learn not to do them.
K. h.
your son is testing you right now to see if you will cover for him, dont do it, let him face the music, hes the one that brought the drugs into your home to begin with

Take the drugs away. Confine him to his room.
Pray. Remove ALL tv, video games, freedom, car keys, etc.
Tell him that things are changing.
THen apologize to him.
Tell him you are sorry you didn't listen to him more, and didn't read the signs that he was looking for someone and reaching out. Tell him you had no idea how much he wanted attention. Tell him you love him and want to work on being a better family. Tell him you forgive him, and that you TRUST him not to do anything like that again. And no matter what he says, leave it at that. Leave the room.

Discuss an appropriate punishment with your husband. Follow through. From now on, be hyper aware of everything your son says and does. Be involved in every part of his life. Even if it means you quit your job and spend all your time at home just to connect with him a couple times a day. Lay down the rules, expect him to follow them, and lay out the consequences if he does not, following through each time---- but NEVER stop letting him know you enjoy him, want him around, and TRUST him to make better decisions.
He's usually a good boy. You were surprised, it sounds like. He needs you to help him sort out right from wrong. Firm, but loving. That's your winning attitude. Praying for you.

I read through most of the responses. Having a background in counseling with adolescents and especially at risk teens; and now being a parent of a teen boy, here's my 2 cents.
First, LISTEN, LISTEN , LISTEN!
He is self medicating and no matter what the drug, he is reaching out for help.
The police is not the best first option. You can figure out what the best way to address his concerns by being as calm as possible and speaking to a drug treatment counselor.
Take small steps, and do keep breathing and let him know that he is loved.

I'd take this very seriously. He needs to go to rehab, get counseling and talk to the police. This should be zero tolerance! NEVER should he have drugs, do drugs or hang around people who do. This will ruin his life and those close to him. Good luck with this!