Just Found Out I Am Pregnant... What Now!

Don't worry about not having maternal instincts. Lucky for you there are plenty of books and websites that have tons of information. If you want to keep it simple, go out and buy "What to expect when you;re expecting" it's an easy to read and understand book. It is followed by a "What to expect the first year". These books are very easy to read and understand. You can also try subscribing to "iVillag.com" They have lots of good reading. Try Half Price Book Store. They have great prices on books! Congratulations and good luck.

Okay, well I thought of some really practical advice to give you. Do you belong to a church or know of one that you could attend? There are so many different churches out there, for every different personality. When you find a church (if you don't have one), see if they need any volunteers for the infant nursery (most usually do) and start volunteering. You don't need experience for it and you should be in there with a couple of other ladies that may have experience. Ask them what to do, if you don't know and you'll get some good "practice" in before your baby comes. HTH! I was a babysitter and nanny for 18 or so years before my son came along and I was well prepared for motherhood.

WEll congrats. I loved being pregant. Just a wonderful feeling. It is hard but dont get to worried. You need to try to figure out how far long you are. YOu need to find an
OBGYN and from there ask all the questions. If you want I know a wonderful OB I love him. I had a very hard pregancy and he made it so calm for me. He is wonderful. You should also read "What to expect when expecting" go to half price books they have tons. It will help alot. But go to a doc. Let me know if you want his number.

you have already gotten some good responses! I just want to add a few things.
think about how you were raised, have your dh do the same. make a list of what you liked and did not like about how your parents did things. this will give you an idea of what style of parenting you might want to learn more about. then hit the library or bookstore.
once you decide what kind of care provider you want (midwife at home? midwife in birth center? doctor at hospital?), think about taking a child birth ed class. taking a happiest baby on the block class can be a great thing too...it will teach you how to sooth a new baby. you might consider hiring a birth doula. they can help with education during pregnancy and support in labor and birth. if you can swing it, a postpartum doula is a wonderful thing to have after the baby comes home. they come into your home and help ease you into your new role as a mom.
I'm sure that you will do wonderfully.

A.
www.supportingmom.com

How wonderful for you. I am like you, no maternal instincts when I was pg but it'll kick in.

First of all I say, enjoy every day...be in each moment with what is going on in your body.
Don't get too wound up about some of the advice in those pg books, I had several books and in the end it all seemed to come naturally...just be mindful of the big issues.
And let others do as much as they want for you now and once the baby is here.

The other mamas all gave you wonderful advice, too. Looks like you're well on your way to learning about being a mom.

I wish you a wonderful pregnancy and labor day!

Congrats, L.! I was a huge tomboy who would flat refuse to hold babies and stuff----I swore I had no maternal instincts. Instead of playing with dolls, I blew up Barbies with ladyfinger firecrackers. I was scared that if I held a baby and it started to cry, I wouldn't know what to do and it would make me less of a woman. (lol) I cried, even though I was happily married, when I thought I was pregnant. After taking the home test, I cried more until my husband said "don't.....well WHY are you crying" and I said "I'm scared" and he said "ok, then don't cry" and we just held each other and let it sink in a few minutes.
I went to the doctor to find out "for sure", and did an internal sonogram where we saw our tiny little boy (about 7 weeks along), and everything changed. I was SO excited, SO happy, and all the mysterious "mom stuff" started developing then. I left the doctor and went immediately to Babies R Us to apply for a weekend job for extra money, the discount, and basically so I could be PAID to learn about all the stuff available. While an employee there, I could learn about the stuff they sell through the training, then through talking more personally with my coworkers, by talking to experienced customers, and by keeping an eye on what gets returned and what people rave about. (There's a lot out there: this helped me navigate through what was good and what was unnecessary).
Babies R Us also provides lots of classes/seminars that are open to the public for free on everything from setting up a nursery, breastfeeding, nutrition, baby proofing your home, basic first aid/cpr, etc. (There's calendars at the front of the store). I went to every one! I found out what hospital my doctor delivers at and walked into the maternity ward and said "Hi, I'm going to be delivering here, can I have a tour" and they will take you on a tour of the ward: where you give birth, where you stay, the nursery, etc. That set my mind at ease. (I also asked a nurse I got along well with privately about my doctor, since I was a new patient).Then you ask them for the classes available and take them all.
At my hospital, I think it was $130 or so for a package of classes that my husband and I attended together: basic baby care (bathing, feeding, changing, calming, etc), then prepared childbirth (very informative: different methods, different positions, pros/cons of each, a more in-depth tour of the hospital and how the equipment works so you're not scared later, lots of calming and relaxation techniques-which by the way we both fell asleep during, b/c we were so good at it, lol-a lot of great things learned here), and then the breastfeeding class. We also took a basic first aid and CPR/infant CPR class through our hospital. The more you know, the less apprehensive you are, because honestly the fear is usually of the unknown, ya know?
The other thing to do ASAP is buy What to Expect When You're Expecting (it's AWESOME) and there's always some at the Half Price Bookstore if you don't mind a used book. That book is STILL my "Bible" and (now I'm on the 3rd book since my son is a toddler). Very helpful. It's super easy to read, surprisingly accurate, and the index will help you if there's something specific you want to know about, but it's great to just read along as you go about your week. I tended to read 1 or 2 weeks ahead, but no more than that because I was enjoying experiencing things as I was reading to see what it was.
Another tool that's pretty fun is babycenter.com-----you can type in your baby's due date and every week you'll get an update on what your baby is doing in there this week, what your baby looks like now, etc. Pretty fascinating stuff. Sounds stupid, but it's fun to say "OH! My son got eyelashes this week", lol. I know this sounds like a lot, but my husband worked Mon-Sat and I worked Mon-Fri at the same place, and Sat-Sun at Babies R Us and we still had time to do this. (Of course you shouldn't work that much the whole pregnancy!) Sorry this is so long, but I just remember the fear and feeling that I had "no maternal instincts" and how WITH EDUCATION AND TIME that changed. When my son turned 1, we went back home to introduce him to my old friends, and 40 people showed up: everyone wanted to know how the chick they knew from highschool could REALLY turn into the girl who wrote "those" blogs on myspace. A lot of fun. A real adventure. Enjoy the ride!!!

Congratulations. Books are great. The best one I had was "What to Expect during your pregnancy" (not sure if the exact title is correct). There a number of the "What to expect" books.... for the first year, the toddler years, etc. I also had the "girlfriends guide to pregnancy", it was okay, but if you're going to buy a book.. get the "what to expect" book!!!! It covered every question I ever had and still have.

check out my website for some great reading resources
www.mtmbirthing.com

You need to decide on caregiver, OB or Midwife, do you want to deliver at home, birthing center or hospital?

Also check out www.blueribbonbaby.org Dr Brewers eating plan for a healthy pregnancy.

The maternal stuff kicks in once you feel your baby or hold your baby. For now, the important thing is to have a healthy pregnancy.

Also check out CIMS 10 questions to ask: www.motherfriendly.org, thsi is a great starting place for the questions to ask a potential caregiver. Be very careful and interview several OB's or midwives to find the one that respects your rights to make the decisions about your pregnancy.
Find out about c-section rates. You have a 1 out of 3 chance of having a c-section by just walking into a hospital so choose one with a low rate. As a doula I HIGHLY suggest Baylor Dallas. They are an extremely mother friendly hospital. Educate yourself on medications during labor, testing during pregnancy, inductions and c-sections. The more you learn, the more you will come to know what youwant from this wonderful and lifechanging experience.

Feel free to email me with any questions! I know it seems like alot, and while it is, its not hard to navigate once you know what you do and don't want from thsi experience!

K.

Trust in your self. It will be scary at times and the most wonderful at times. Read, talk with other moms, and family. Every where you turn someone will have an opinion and advice sometimes more than you want. your instincts will kick in, and when they do trust'em. Enjoy it, every step of the way.

You will figure out what to do when your baby is born! Besides reading those books the other mom suggested (which are wonderful), like she said, there's tons of information out there, plus you must have friends and family somewhere that you can ask advice from.
None of us got instruction manuals with our kids, and you'll do things differently with the first one than you will with others. You'll find later that some things just come naturally (it's hard to believe now tho isn't it!), and there's LOTS of things you will want to ask people for help on.
Good luck and you'll have a great life with your baby!

I hate to sound extremely religious but God will not give what you cannot handle - trust me. I have 3 beautiful girls and I am on my 2nd marriage. You may not think you have maternal instincts but you may surprise yourself - don't set your mind to failure, look at this pregnancy and wonderful gift as a challenge (trust me they are!!). Children are a wonderful gift and a challenge all in one!

L.,
First of all CONGRATS!! Looks like you've gotten lots of good advice, I just wanted to add, there is a really great book out there (I think I got it at the library) its called the Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy, its all the stuff about pregnancy that your doc won't tell you, or your too embarrased to talk about etc, its really really good. When I picked it up, I couldn't put it down and I think I read it front to back in 2 days! Good luck!

I remember how nervous I was, but I agree with the other ladies..motherhood is learned by experience, and most of it will come naturally when you have the baby. The What to Expect book worked great for me, as did Babycenter.com. You can get tons of information and answers to your questions. Best of all, you can ask the Mamasource moms and I'm sure someone can answer it! Congrats to your and your baby to be. My little sis is due this month with her first, and she is feeling anxious as well!

First let me say Congrats and it will be OK. You have no maternal instincts now because up until now you haven't had to. But as that baby grows inside you your instincts will grow too. You will fall in love the first time you hear that little heartbeat, or see him/her in a sonogram (especially 3d if you get to do one) or feel those little kicks. It really is amazing. When my first son was born, I was so excited, but on the way home from the hosp. I was looking at him in his carseat and thinking "Oh my what do I do now!" I was terrified of him the first 24 hours or so that we were home. I know it sounds strange to be scared of a baby, but I was and my husband actually took care of him. I remember the day after we got home my husband went to the store and left me with the baby and everytime he would move or make a noise I would call my hubby and say "Hurry up he's waking up!" I felt I didn't know what to do with him. But then, in a day or so, like turning on a switch, the "instincts" kicked in and I was fine. I wasn't scared, when he cried I knew what he needed, and I didn't worry about what to do.

You'll be fine. You may be lost for a few days, but you will get the hang of it before you know it. I think just about everyone goes through that "OMG" phase! It will just feel natural to you.

Having a baby takes a long time. Enjoy the changes in your body, build and enjoy your marriage. As a dog groomer you already know a lot about caring for some one other than yourself. Think of a baby as a helpless puppy soon to be running loops around you.

It might be a good time to bond with grandparents or parent figures in your life too. Decide now and set up plans, and be ready to change it, for the life soon to come. Are you staying at home until school starts? Baby sitters, sleeping arrangements, food yada, yada, yada It's better to know before you get married but better late than on the fly later. Most of all have fun the time you have to enjoy this, even the totally crappy parts, will be over all too fast.

Peace and love
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