Just Had a Baby and Want to Get Pregnant Again

J.,
I just wanted to share with you what my doctor told me. When I was about to be discharged from the hospital, he came in to talk to me, as he does every new mom. He told me that they strongly, strongly advise NOT getting pregnant again for at least 6 months. Being pregnant and having a baby are two huge things to put your body through, not to mention taking care of a newborn. Your body needs to rest. If you throw pregnancy into the mix and end up tiring yourself even more, you may just end up feeling like you cheated your first child all over again by being too tired to take care of her.
Please understand that I don't think you have cheated your first child and you should not either. I don't think there is a single mom out there who looks back and says, "I did everything perfect and will not change a thing the next time around." Like everything else in life, we learn through our experiences.
Finally, you are not alone by LOVING being pregnant. But please make sure you have time to enjoy your pregnancy by not rushing into it all over again.
Betsy

This is pretty natural. Not everyone goes through it, but there are many mamas who do. And for breast feeding I have had some friends that had to stop b/c it made them very blue (depressed). It just depends on your hormone levels. I have two boys and the minute I came home from the hospital I wanted another one. But let me give you some helpful advice that my doctor gave me. You need to recover (emotional, physically). Your body needs to recover and get regulated. You want your next baby to have a healthy place to grow and develop. Although it is hard you really need to wait 6-12 months before getting pregnant again b/c your body has to replinish itself. I had my first child at 32 and my second at 34. It is okay. You are not getting to "old" to have more children. Just give it time and enjoy spending one on one with your little girl...you can never get that back.

.

Hey, been there done that. I had a c-section and wanted to have another baby right away to see if I could get it right. Breast feeding was a pain both times. One breast worked the other did not. Now I'm lop-sided. Looking back I realize it was all hormonal. I love that my kids have some age spand between them. Four years. That way I could enjoy the baby more instead of having them too close together. It is hard to relax when your a new mom. Most of us have gone through some kind of baby blues. Enjoy this time. Eventually more children will be in your future, I feel. Enjoy, love and have fun with your first. It only gets crazier from here.

Two things my Dr told me: "It took you almost 10 months to grow that baby - give your body 10 months to get over it!" This was her advice after baby #5. My oldest is almost 7 yrs and the last 3 are only separated by 11 to 12 months (Jan '06, Feb '07, Feb'08!!)
The other thing she explained to me while in the hospital with my first one is this...You will grieve over your body. There is a grieving process you will go thru for the belly you are missing now! She said some people who've had growths or tumors removed (after coping with them for years) actually grieve the loss of this part of the body! Same is true for amputees (but to a much greater degree). Talk to your Dr at your 6 week check-up. You might even feel completely different by then!
God bless (as He already has!) and hope to hear of another baby coming this time next year!:)

I also felt that way after having my son in Jan, but I couldn't sincce my hubby was down here & I was up in MI still. I subsided for a lil while to have another but now that he is 8 months we have been trying for another. At least wait till your 6 week checkup since it's not that healthy to get pregnant within that time. Hope it all works out.

I know this will sound goofy, but I've always told my friends that the hardest part about having babies was NOT being pregnant at the end. I have this beautiful little life that I'm holding in my arms, but I truly missed the nonstop attachment when I was carrying the baby. Please don't look at your breastfeeding woes as a failure; I've had 3 children and had some degree of difficulty nursing all of them. My youngest was on a bottle full time at around 4 weeks. Talk to your doctor; you're "obsession" could be hormone related. With my second child I had the urge to do "whatever" but I had to DO IT NOW; the doctor said that 'now is not the time to make hasty decisions, your body is still trying to get itself under control'. I sure don't have all the answers, but I pray you find the right one.

I would give it awhile, your hormones will be out of whack for awhile and you go through all types of emotions.

Hi J.
Congrats on the decision to become a mom! I kind of felt the same way before we decided to have a baby. We kept thinking "what if" we didn't have a child? Well we are so happy with our little boy that I couldn't imagine my life without him. I hope your baby brings you the same joy.
Your hormones are whacked out right now - as is every woman's at this point post delivery. I actually felt like I could do it again soon after we delivered, get pregnant again. Plus your body just went through hell with the delivery and you need time to heal as well.
Try not to dwell on the things you think went "wrong". What happened with breastfeeding is not your fault so try not to fault yourself. Your baby will get the nourishment she needs and she still has you to cuddle and hold her while she's getting her bottle.
Good luck and cherish all the memories!
P.

Try to telax and enjoy this beautiful baby. She needs a lot of nurturing. When your body is ready, it will let you know. Babies that don't have enough nurturing, don't get a good start in life. Slow down and enjoy this very special time. You want to do what is best for baby. The body needs to heal itself also, stretching the uterus, one pg on top of the other is not good for you.

Some wise person once said that holding an infant made him realize why some people can't help but wanting more and more...

Don't feel guilt; it does no good; forgive yourself and move on. Just continue loving and enjoying your precious baby and doing the best you can. When you and your hubby decide you are ready, you can create another miracle.

Hi J.,
You could still breastfeed your daughter. All you need to do is to have her nurse to stimulate the milk to flow again. You could use a breast pump to also stimulate the milk flow. Contact LaLache for good information. It isn't too late to have wonderful bonding with your baby! I wish someone had told me this when I stopped before I wanted to!
God bless you!
J.

Congratulations on a healthy baby. I felt compelled to write because I can relate to some things you mentioned in you request. I am pregnant with my second and although my 1st pregnancy was wonderful, this one is much harder and my doctor said that most women are more uncomfortable in their second pregnancy. I say this so that are not misinformed and think it will be just the same. Hopefully when you have a 2nd it will be a wondeful pregnancy, but maybe a longer recover might be worthwhile. I had some baby blues, but I also had Postpartum depression. The babyblues felt more hormonal whereas the depression felt more like mental confusion and I obsessed about a lot of things. There are few therapist in Louisville that are trained and specialized in Postpartum depression, but if you want more information there are several good books out there. One is called "Beyond the Blues". I hear there is a link between the mini pill and PPD, also if you feel overwhelmed maybe talk to a postpartum doula. Hope you find some peace with your situation. Be easy on yourself and enjoy your new baby!

Its normal to want another one but your body needs time to heal being pregnet has a lot of emotional ups and downs and a lot may be your hormones trying to adjust after the birth.baby blues dont happen to everyone I was just terifyed when my first was born so much you dont know yet but that passed to.you'll be fine have faith and enjoy your daughter and if you give yourself 6 months at least befor trying for another.good luck and God Bless!

Sounds like hormones to me!!! I have never had exactly that experience, but my hormones have done all kinds of crazy things to me. I would just encourage you to focus on your daughter as much as possible. When you start thinking about being pregnant try and switch to thinking about fun things you want to do with your daughter when she's older. And try and relax - this too shall pass.

Ok my post will be different from the majority of the advice but here it goes.Siblings that are close in age is really the best thing. Our boys are 23 months apart and I really wish sometimes that we would've had them closer.I know many women who have kids 12-13 months apart .And some of them actually had easier time with adjustment than the ones that have a 4 year gap between the kids. I do agree that another kids is not a do over.With your next pregnancy you might be sick for 9 months, and your next child might want to breastfeed 24/7 ( I have a friend like that:))And you really need to be in agreement with your hubby that it's what both of you want.

It probably is your hormones but you are probably overwhelmingly happy and that is understandable! My advice is to wait. You are young. Wait until your daugher is at least a year old. What if this next pregnancy is hard on you? My 2nd pregnancy was so hard that I was sick AND way tired all the time! I neglected my poor son and stuck him in front of the tv so I could lay down. I think you should take this time to enjoy every single moment with your new baby without any outside disruption. Give this baby your full attn and when you are ready, maybe when she is one or two, you get pregnant without any worries, financially or otherwise. You are young......no rush.

W.

I went through the same thing after I had my little girl. I think part of me missed being pregnant, and as someone said before, your hormones are out of whack for a while. I would let your husband know how you feel, and together you can make a plan for future children. I think having a plan (whether it's 1,2,3 or 4 years in the future) makes having another baby more tangible and is comforting. You're right, your body needs time to recover, not only physically but emotionally. Sure, some folks do have children really close together and they are fine, but it's really best for you to wait, which it sounds like you know in your mind, but your heart seems to be telling you something else. After a while, I started to enjoy my time with my daughter so much that having another baby became something that I could wait for, and I think that also corresponded with my hormones regulating.

WAIT!!!!! Although I know women who have had children very close together (baby-sat two boys that were 9 months apart in age; know several women who have had children 11-16 months apart, etc.), and they all survived, it's just hard. I had "the baby bug" pretty quickly after my first child was born, and I waited until he was 10 months old before getting pregnant again. My kids are 19 months apart, and now they are pretty easy to manage, for the most part, but for the first year probably, it was very, very hard. Most of that was because my older son was still a "baby" in a lot of ways, and there were just way too many hours of the day when I was stretched too thin, with both boys needing to be the only one I was dealing with. I cried a lot, and was stressed a lot. It is doable, and I wouldn't suggest having an abortion should you find yourself pregnant, but I would strongly recommend not getting pregnant on purpose.

Your baby is 4 weeks old -- you don't have to give up breastfeeding!! Go find your local La Leche League, or a lactation consultant or a breastfeeding buddy or SOMEBODY, and see if they can help you. For the first 3-4 months after giving birth, your body has the most hormones that help with establishing breast-feeding. Even though you have stopped, you can start up again, and have enough milk to fully feed your daughter, if you build up your supply again. There are numerous women who have started breastfeeding again even after 4 months who have had a plentiful supply, though not necessarily enough to exclusively breastfeed. I'd encourage you to at least try, since you feel like you need to "make things right." There are resources available -- definitely on-line, if not in your own community (even if you don't qualify for WIC, you can call their offices and see if they have breastfeeding counselors, or somebody in the area that can help you).

You can do this!

The way you feel right now is caused by a combination of things: hormones, wanting a chance to try the first weeks over again, missing a pregnancy you enjoyed. The hormone issue will settle out over time, and if not, your doctor can help with that. You will get a chance to welcome and nurse a newborn all over again when you have another child, but pregnancy is not as much fun the second time around! Not that you won't enjoy it too, but it's just not the same. It is far more exhausting to be pregnant and taking care of a small child. Plus you'll be more focused on how to raise your oldest and how to deal with all of her new milestones than to focus on pregnancy like you did the first time.

If it makes you feel any better, keep a journal of your thoughts now and things you want to remember for the next time around. But try not to blow through these first months with your new daughter. Instead of focusing on what you want to do in the future with your next child, focus on the little girl you have now. They grow up so quickly, and in even a year from now she'll be a totally different little person. ENJOY her now. You will have plenty of time for more babies later. Good luck!

Congratulations! It's great that you want to get pregnant again, but DO wait a while!!! Enjoy that little one, even if everything didn't go as planned. The important thing is that your child is happy and healthy.

Your second one is not a do-over... take it from me! I had a terrible time trying to breastfeed and switched to formula after pumping for eight weeks- I even pumped through the night to keep my milk supply up. Sorry to say, I had the same troubles with my three subsequent babies... and I spent countless hours with a lactation consultant and my midwife in failed attempts. Latching on was not happening, but still count on trying with your next!

The first year will give you so many ups and downs that I would advise you to buckle in and enjoy the ride! I LOVE being the mom of four kids, but going from one child to two is more like going from one to 10! Relax and eat up every moment you can with you little baby! Be in the moment with her! You won't regret it!

Regards!

If I were you I would give your body a chance to heal. It will be better for you and give you a better chance of sustaining a healthy pregnancy. I read that somewhere a couple of weeks ago. And yes your hormones are out of whack and I bet you are going crazy like the rest of us did right after having a baby. Or at leat I went crazy. I didn't want to have another baby but I remember crying because I thought my cat was being neglected. My cat could have cared less. I was just CRAZY with a capital C. I am normal now. Thank god!!!!!

Hey, I kinda went thru the same thing. I was not good at nursing and was stressed too much to really enjoy my son. Though, I didn't really have to desire to have another one right away. However, I did get pregant(on birth control)when my son was about 3mos. Not planned by my husband or myself but by God. I would not change anything. It was a little challenging at first, but then we all found our groove. They are now 3 and 2. I am lovin' every bit of it. As far as I can tell so are they! But, I do agreee w/the other ladies....It has got to be your hormones... good luck w/your decision.

do you have a therapist? IF YOU DO TALK TO THEM ABOUT THIS YOU MAY NEED TO BE ON SOME MEDS....(sorry baby hit the caps lol)dont feel that you need another baby b/c you wernt able to breast feed. i personally think trying to get pg with a baby that young is a BAD idea. babies take up soooo much time and with 2 of them that age you will just work yourself to death.whatever choice you make will be right for you. ps have you talked to your hubby about this

Wait a bit, for the sake of your body and your sanity. Give your hormones awhile to even out and then go for it if you still want to. Good luck!

J.,

Try to relax and give this time. Your body does need to rest and, in all honesty, you haven't even begun the harder road of all the adjustments you and your baby will go through with each new stage of her development. If your body and YOUR MIND are not in good shape, then when you get pregnant again, you will be completely out of sorts to offer her the best of you. You are not in the right frame of mind to get pregnant again and I would fear that if you did, you would be worse off emotionally because your motives for doing it would not be good. Yes, it's great to have another child, but that child deserves your strength and focus, not guilt for feeling you messed up with not "getting things right" with this baby. I would venture to say you may still have post partum depression. Your baby is not holding against you that you did not breastfeed. Take a deep breath sweetie. If you have your mom and hubby to help you, ask them to take some time during the week and maybe sit with her for awhile while you go for a walk or go to the gym. Make sure you are taking necessary steps to get back into shape, physically, emotionally and mentally. Babies in utero feel your stress, so wait a year and assess where you are. If you feel you have conquered the adjustments of your precious bundle of joy, then go for it. You may feel like you put off getting pregnant for years, but you are only 27; plenty young to have a slew of children after her. Having a baby right away is not going to erase your guilt for feeling you did not do the right thing. Your baby loves you. Give her all your love, hold her close and cherish every moment with her. When the time comes to do this again, you'll know. :)

After I had my first son, I also missed being pregnant. I missed my big belly and the safe feeling of the baby inside me moving around. I couldn't really connect that the baby I was taking care of was the same that had been inside me. The feelings subsided over time, and the joy of my new son took over. As your daughter gets older, it will take more effort/energy than it does now at 4 wks. Just concentrate on the new things she does each day and how blessed you are to have her.

L.

I think this is a common feeling after bringing home a new baby. I have an 11 week old and she is my life. I had a really rough pregnancy and not the best labor experience. Even so, until she turned about 10 weeks, I was so excited to get pregnant again. I thought a lot about it and realized, I did miss the overall "being pregnant experience". I had issues with breastfeeding and had to supplement with a bottle. I continued trying to breastfeed and pump for a month with no success. I was extremely disappointed and started to get depressed because of it all. I finally came to terms with just giving her a bottle. Now I realize that I need to give her all of my love and attention right now while allowing my body to continue to get back to my old self again. I think if you, too, give yourself a little while longer, you may change your mind about getting pregnant so soon. I believe having children close in age is a great idea, but you need to allow yourself time before trying again.

J.,
I would definitely wait a while!! However, if you want to breastfeed, it's not too late! You still can. It will be hard work, but it's worth it. Check out kellymom.com or La Leche League. Don't beat yourself up because it was difficult in the beginning. Breastfeeding is not easy! The first two weeks are sometimes just awful! I have breastfed three babies. If I had not been absolutely set on breastfeeding, the nurses, family members, and society in general would have talked me out of it. Email me if you want more info!!
C.

YOU ARE NUTS!!!!
Honey, it is the hormones.
Do not try and get pregnant right now. Enjoy this little one for a while and don't take that away from her/him.
For one, pregnant that fast is hard on your body... literally... it wears your insides out.
Give it a rest and let the baby get at least 1 and then get pregnant again. That will be a good stretch and the little one will be old enough that you don't have to constantly do for her if you feel sick or tired while you are pregnant.
Everytime you start thinking about pregnancy, focus on something else.
You don't understand how hard it is going to be pregnant with a big fat tummy wagging a little one around and then having 2 close to the same age and both crying and screaming and you really don't understand how hard it is going to be having 2 to take to the grocery, much less 2 just about the same age. That would be like having twins.... CAN YOU IMAGINE.
Girl, give it a rest. Enjoy the one that you have for now.
Don't wear yourself out or wish any stress upon yourself, anymore than you have.

Yes, it is probably your hormones. Now that you are no longer nursing, your body is probably getting ready to ovulate again. The hormones that your body produces when you are nursing full-time, that tell your body to hold off on reproduction, are no longer active.

I'm assuming that you don't want to try relactation? It's certainly possible if she's only 4 weeks old, but if you weren't getting the support you needed to nurse initially- you would need to seek out a support network first. La Leche League takes calls, even if there is no active leader in your area. 1-800-LA-LECHE

Just realizing that it is hormonal and will pass in a few weeks might help. Of course, it may come back in a few weeks too if you are in fact about to start ovulating- you may deal with these feelings every cycle! You might find it helpful to learn about natural family planning and start tracking your cycle, even if you use another form of birth control. You'll be surprised at how often and how closely feelings about having another baby (or just plain wanting some time in bed with daddy!) will correlate with ovulation.

Did you have any issues surrounding the birth? Either not having it go the way you wanted, or even, having the birth you wanted but not being satisfied by the experience? Were you given drugs during labor? Surgical and anesthized births can cause problems with breastfeeding and bonding, as can simple disappointment. Humans are amazing in that we have the ability to recognize our young, even after experiencing a trauma that destroys or damages chemical bonding. Many animals simply reject their offspring if their birth is disturbed. If you think your birth experience could be the root of the problem, don't hesitate to seek healing.

There are ways other than lactation to continue bonding- none that tie in with quite so many neurochemical and hormonal pathways, but ways. Infant massage, wearing your baby, having lots of skin to skin contact, cosleeping, baby sign and elimination communication are a few that come to mind. Google is your friend, with the internet you can explore a lot of information on any topic for free, before you rush out to buy a book.

Another thing you may find helpful as a new mother is to find some friends who are also new mothers. If there is no LLL in your area, look for other moms groups in your neighborhood and online. Sharing the experience with someone who really gets it can make a huge difference.

HTH

A new baby is a lot of work, and it just gets harder as they get older.Wait at least a year before you start trying for another baby.That's a lot of stress on your body in such a short period of time.Enjoy the one you have now.Give her all your attention now.There's always time later on for another baby.

The bottom line is that being pregnant (the first time around) is the easy part and there's also a sense of closeness that changes when the baby is born. Give yourself a chance to adapt to being a mom and you will learn (quickly) that there's a sense of closeness like no other that will develop between the two of you. Being a mom is the toughest but most wonderful role I've ever played in my life to my 3.5 year old daughter. I am expecting my second child (a boy) and couldn't imagine having done this sooner, since the second pregnancy is not nearly as enjoyable as the the first (too busy).

Your hormones are definitely out of sorts. But, I felt/feel the same way. I had a great pregnancy(at 40..surprise) and I was fortunate in that I didn't have the baby blues and breastfeeding FINALLY got underway for us, though it was a trying time. I would do it over again in a heartbeat! I love being a Mom. That being said... if I got my wish right now... Oh boy! I would probably lose my mind as my little boy is steps away from walking and I am virtually running a marathon everyday trying to keep up with him. He is also on a solid food strike just when I thought I was going to get a breastfeeding break. I'm now feeding/pumping about every two hours..even at night which means I'm back to no sleep. Not to mention sinus congestion that appears everytime that we visit other kids... not fun. Oh, and did I mention that I have to work part-time. Or that I cannot afford sitting services, nor do I have family around me for support. I do have a wonderful and truly helpful husband, but let's face it... he can't do everything that I have to do. So I think 'what if I got pregnant? how in the world would I breastfeed 1 while chasing the other?'... And, yet, I still wish for it everyday. Maybe my hormones are still out of sorts. I'll tell you what most Moms of many have told me... RELAX and ENJOY your baby. It only happens for the first time once. And they are right! It is incredible every single day. I am really blessed.

First of all, congratulations! It is very normal to "miss" being pregnant. Despite all of the aches and pains, it's a special feeling to have that life inside of you. I've had three (and I'm done now)but I always felt that way shortly after giving birth. I don't know about the urge to get pregnant again so quickly, but your hormones are definitely crazy right now and that is normal. When you go for your 6 week check up to the doctor, talk with him/her about your feelings. Or you might even call and request that they call you so you can ask about it now. Best wishes to you!
By the way, if you ever need someone to talk to, I live in the next town. And I'm also a certified child care provider.

honey, that's your hormones. I know exactly what you're talking about. The minute i left the hospital i wanted to be pregnant again!!!! I also experienced post pardom depression and one of the main triggers what that I missed being pregnant so much!

But I would slap snooze on that biological clock for right now. Your hormones are doing such summer-saults right now and you need to recover and get to know your little one before you get too busy with another one.

phsycially i know you have to wait at least 6 weeks. But i would chill for right now if I were you....but that's just me :)

My advice would be to wait awhile. My first two are 15 mos. apart, and I waited a while to have my third, because the first two being so close together was tough (and continues to be). My third is almost 4 years behind my second, and it's great! Here are the drawbacks of having two so close together (this is ALL my opinion): you don't have time to fully enjoy the 'baby' stages of either child, either you're dealing with a pregnancy or you've got another baby on your hands very quickly. You're sleep deprived x 2. They are almost like twins they are so close in age. There's almost an advantage to twins, because as they get older, they are both getting older. With 15 mos. apart, you've still got one that's not as mature or able to do as much as the older one. And as they get older, they are so close that they tend to be very competitive and fight alot. My youngest child is in a different category... although she gets in on the fights, her interests are on a different level, so there's not as much competitiveness. Plus I am able to enjoy her being 3, because her siblings are more independent and are in elem. school. You're young. I would say to take your time and enjoy the next 2-3 years before committing your body and time to another newborn. That baby is 'easy' right now, just wait about a year. You'll be so busy you won't know what to do with yourself. Congratulations!

First off - AWESOME birthday she has! [That's mine too! :)]

Secondly, most people have already said this, but your body DOES need a break between babies! My second and third are only 16 months apart - not by choice - and although they are close, and I had all 3 of mine within 3.5 years and it's great for them to grow up together, it is VERY VERY hard on you emotionally AND physically to have two "babies". If you found out you were pregnant today, your daughter wouldn't even be a year old when you were having the next one. That really WILL make you feel like you aren't giving either one of the babies your absolute best. (Which you are by the way! You have demonstrated that by getting help and doing the best you can do!)

I STILL miss being pregnant (my youngest just turned 9!) but I know deep down that I wouldn't want another BABY to care for. I knew that after she was born, but I still miss the pregnancy thing. And that leads to another point - not only will you be tired again (pregnancy tired!), you could potentially have a tough pregnancy. With my first, I had the textbook morning sickness, and I had alot of fatigue, but that was it - otherwise, I felt better than I ever had! I wanted that again, but we knew we wanted them to be around 2 years apart. But when I got pregnant with my second, I was SOOOOOOOO sick for the first 5 months, and had migraines (which I'd never had, and haven't had since) and then I got an inguinal hernia and had to have surgery to repair it while pregnant! To top it off, we had moved 1500 miles away from our families/friends 3 months before all this, so I had very little support to help me through it. Blessedly, my oldest was very laid back and adapted to Mommy lying around so much! But I felt horrible - all I could do was feed him meals and lie back down while he watched Toy Story every day! It is pretty sad that an 18 month old learns how to pop a tape into the VCR and what all the buttons on the remote do! So there I felt like I was cheating him b/c I was no longer taking him out into the yard, or doing fun activities together like we'd been doing.

Let your body heal, talk to your doc at your check-up - I dealt with PPD for months after my last one was born w/o knowing it and should have been treated alot earlier! Many of us feel the urge for more babies, but even though you say you waited for "years", you are only 27 and you have many many years to have more children! I turned 26 four days before my last one was born and couldn't believe it was over!!! And now that they are older, if I had to do it all again, I would spread them out just a little more. God made all 3 of my sweet little choices for me but if I could redo that, I would tweak it JUST a little! I sorely miss my kids being sweet little babies, and I wish I had taken the time to enjoy each one of them more thoroughly before having the next. But sometimes, we don't get choices and I think when we do, we don't trust ourselves to make the "perfect" decision.

Accept that you are new to this and you won't always feel like you made the perfect choice (if you are like most of us, you will ALWAYS feel you could've done a little better!), but that you are going to be THE BEST mom your little girl could ask for - and start by giving her your time and love instead of asking her to share it right away! If you'd been meant to split your time between babies, you'd have had twins or triplets! :D

Let us know how you are doing in a few weeks!
A.

I felt the same way after I had my son. I couldn't get the breastfeeding thing. I had a hard time adjusting. I eventually went to the doctor and was put on meds for the baby blues. After awhile I got through it. It's your first baby your learning. The feeling of wanting another to fix will go away. I had guilt that I cheated my son of a perfect mom. When I realized I was the best mom for him. We learned together and He and I are very close. I have two children now and all those fears and feelings are gone and I realize that I was a wonderful first time mom and so are you. Give yourself time. Having another child so soon will not fix anything and what your feeling is normal. Many of us go through it. Good luck and congrats. Your in my prayers.