K5 Help

I am having the same problem with my son. I did not think he was ready for kindergarten but his pre-k repeatedly said he was. At the kind. evaluation they said he's ready. We get their and I go in one day and see he's way behind..........I talked to the teacher and she pretty much said he was the worst student-behind wise and she seemed ready to give up on him. I told her I would work with him and that I did. The school put him in theai EIP(early intervention prog) for 2 weeks now his progress is remarkable!!!!!!!!!!he went from almost all 1's a couple of 2's to almost all 3's a couple of 2's only 1 1 .
Kindergarten is awful now, full day, no nap, and overcrowded. All my son needed was some one on one.

I went through the same thing with my daughter(now 12). She was finally diagnosed with ADHD. While I was concerned about putting her on medication, It was the answer. Adhd children have higher than average intelligence and are easily bored. There are many medications that her ped. can choose from. Adderol worked for my daughter. She has no trouble now.
D.

They don't go to kindergarten reading. that's what they teach in Kindergarten. What school is she in that they have " TV time" and they make kindergartners write sentences?? I would ask the teacher what she expects of a 5 yr old. only 9 weeks into the school year. Sometimes it takes longer for them to get the hang of school. heck my daughter was at the" top of her class" in Kindergarten and is at the top of her class in First grade , and almost every day up until the last 2 months of school she came home with a "yellow card" ie she did something wrong. With a 5 yr old the amount of time that you can expect for her to pay attention is 5 minutes, one minute per year. This teacher is expecting you to do her job for her. I would move her to another class or another school. The sentences aren't a good way to disapline. it will just make her dislike writing when she is just starting.
Find out what the disapline system is in the class room. My daughter started doing well in the conduct area when they modified the disapline system.Also what helped her finish her work is telling her she can do something else after she's done if she gets it done before the time is up, ie something she likes ,for my daughter it was drawing.
sorry for all the edits lol
another thing is that class size is WAY to big for kids of that age. does the teacher at least have an aide? Most kindergarten class have a max of 20 with a second "para pro"ie assistant , in the room to help the teacher and give some of that extra one on one help.

M.--
I have four kids ages 12 down to 16 months. Who told you that she needed to be reading by K-5???? That is just not true!

My kids are all EXTREMELY high achievers in school--the ones who are old enough are in all the extra classes for gifted children, and my middle schooler takes advanced classes for all of the basics---english, math, science, and social studies. He has been targeted by the Duke University TIP program and will take the SAT in December. (Not that he will do well...but he is very smart!)

NONE OF THEM COULD READ GOING INTO KINDERGARTEN. Where, oh, where is this teacher? The oldest did not read until half way through the first grade.

I would suggest that if you can swing it (it does cost about $160/month) and you are ANYWHERE close to Easley, SC you need to think seriously about enrolling her in Easley Presbyterian's Kindergarten. (if you are not scour your area for a similar situation) They have smaller class size (try 5-10 kids) and are only there from 9-12. Intense short burst of knowledge and sitting work better for most little people! I think all day kindergarten is too much! It is not better for the child to be in school ALL DAY long.

My boys who are twelve and six completed the program there ready to take on public school in first grade and done magnificently. The year that my ten year old daughter would have gone, they only had three kids whose parents were interested and could not offer k-5.

You must keep in mind how very important school is to setting the tone for her life. You have to fix this, now and find what works. (you know, you have to "nip it in the bud") ;-)

If you are having discipline problems at the house, how would you expect that the teacher would not? You have got to come up with a better way to parent her that works for her. Look into "Love and Logic" they are a series of books by (last names) Cline and Fey...and are brilliant! The idea is that when we can control kids we will control--but teach good reasoning so when we cannot control...ei..teens...they will know the skills to make great decisions. It is a bit counter-intuitive for most of us, but the results are great.

I hope this was helpful! Good luck to you and your precious little girl,
Chris

M.,

I am L., single homeschooling mom of 5 ages( 12,8,7,5,3 ).
Follow your heart because you are right. Your daughter is also receiving overwhelming negative messages about who she is, left and right. This will only create anger and discouragement as a defense mechanism amongst all the elephants who think they know it all. Stay on her side. Where are we going with this microwave curriculum anyway? Seek out quality learning not quantitive learning. Einstein was told that he coultn't learn. His learning took place outside the classroom where he taught himself. Go figure! Janet Stevens( author and illustrator ) composed a short auto-bio piece in the 3.1 version of Scott Foresman Reader( "Imagine That" ) about having been a slower reader based on a systematic time scale. If you would like to know more, just mail or phone me. Choose another battle, your daughter just needs a different approach. Learning should be fun. Give positive reverence to her indivuality. God bless!

L. Hawkins
Stone Soup On Assignment
###-###-####
____@____.com

From experience.... your child may be paying attention! Both of my children were labeled as not paying attention. However, when asked questions about what was going on in class, could tell their teachers EVERYTHING that went on and almost word for word what was said. Some teachers feel that if the student isn't looking them in the eyes 100% of the time, that they are not paying attention at all.

Needs to be more independent with getting her work done? ! Have her define independent. Is she NEEDING help because she doesn't understand or is she getting help from her friends in class as a way of being with her friends. My daughter did this one. She IS a social butterfly! And the same may be true with your daughter. If she has no one to play with at home, the classroom setting is a playground for her.

Reading...... I understand that "the system" wants our children reading above their grade level. But to lable a child as being in the LOWEST level in class is just WRONG! It might be true... but... Give the girl the chance to grow! Especially if you haven't had as much time to read with her as you would have liked. She WILL improve. My daughter was at the same level when she was in K5...Now she is in 4th grade and is reading at 8th grade, 3rd month level. It just takes time.

DEFIANT:!!!!! She probably is defiant if all she gets from the teacher is greif!

Sounds to me that the teacher is the one with the biggest problem. She doesn't want to spend the time cultivating minds and talents... she's too busy pointing blame in the wrong direction.

What, if I may ask, is the school that your child attends? You spoke of the fast pace. Is she in the learning magnet or other magnet program. Or is she in a regular curriculum setting ... it makes a difference.

My son stayed in trouble all the time at Waddell, until we (the teacher, principal and me) realized that he would benefit from going to St. Elmo once a week. HE GOT IN TROUBLE BECAUSE HE WAS B O R E D!

She's punished enough at school by being labeled as a problem child. Don't Punish her at home too! Praise her for the good things that she has done. If yesterday she made a 13 on her conduct grade and today she made a 15... CELEBRATE IT AND HER TOO! If she knows that she has unconditional support as well as love at home, she will want to do better to make you proud of her.

Here is a website that I want you to check out for her. I have my daughter set up on it. It has made a big difference not only with school work but with home life as well.

www.handipoints.com

Check it out.... it's great!

Again, she might need a smaller class size, but not for the reason that you think she might need it for. Children with a gifted intellect have different needs than most. They seem to some on the outside that they don't pay attention or are slow or are defiant. But are actually very bright and eager to learn.

Talk to the Kindergarten resource director for her school and see if you can have her tested for the Gifted Education Program (or even contact the Principal at Hannan Elementary if you are in muscogee county) and find out what she needs before the teacher has her labeled learning disabled. Please!

Feel free to contact me if you have further questions.

Dear M.,
I do not live in the upstate but I have a brother. that does. He does not have children, but he lives in the Greer area so I know what the economic status is like. Because it is a largely high income area- I am sure that there is a lot of pressure on the public schools to perform at an expected level. I am sorry that your child and so many others are the victims of the standards set by SC to meet the No Child Left Behind Act. I remember when I was in kindergarten we played all day and then it was only a half day as well. Now children in 5K are expected to write paragraphs as well as read. As the mother of four children in the SC public school system , I am aware of many of the problems that exist. I agree with many of the other Mom's advice and I would like to add some other ideas just to present you with other options. First, If you are fortunate enough to have a public school Montessori program in your area please take advantage - or if there is a private school that offers one and you can afford it-it would be worth every cent. Montessori education is child- guided the teachers have a set of certain materials that they must teach but they set the goals based on what the child can do . Another idea is too look into a website called readybodies.com- it is a program for schools that helps to prepare childrens bodies for the tasks that are required to let their minds take it all in. Hope these help-running out of room.Feel free to contact me if questions.

We've opted to homeschool so we can get our kids started at their own pace (rather than being held back, or dragged behind 27 other kids). Is that an option for you? There are countless resources for homeschooling parents. I'm happy to pass some good info along, if you're interested!

I think class size matters alot,27 kids to one teacher means some kids will be left behind.Not because they are not bright they just feel ignored and become fustrated and start acting out because they do not know where they fit in.
I do not know if you are a SAHM or not.You need to talk to her and ask her what is going on and where you can help her.There is a website I use www.starfall.com,both of you can use it together and it helps alot.The best part is the kids think they are playing.Give this a try before placing her in the resource class.She just needs to get into her own zone then she will be able to cope better in class.
I hope this works for you.If you need other similar websites as kids often need to bounce around, let me know.

M.,
This is B. (deaffmommie). I have had two kids in kindergarten. My son LOVED school. My daughter hates it.

Now with my darling daughter (DD) she has other emotional problems that affect her learning. She had 15 bad notes in the first 18 days of kindergarten when she was 5. My dd would get notes for talking, not sharing, and other little nuances of kindergarten life.

I talked with the teacher, principal, and the school counselors. I had to opportunity to change her teachers, and BOY do I wish I had done that. I think my dd would have had a better time in Kindergarten if I had acted on my momma bear gut feelings and MOVED her classroom.

Maybe switching teachers would be an option.

I read all the posts you have received before answering so I would know better how to respond.

These are the things I would suggest.
1). Stop the "bad note" punishments. These are not helping.

2). Talk with the teacher. She may be overwhelmed with such a large class. I didn't see you mention an aide. Open communication is VITAL. Explain to Teacher, how sad your dd is when she comes home and brainstorm ideas together to find a method of what works for your child.

3) have her checked for ADHD. I think 5 is young for that diagnosis, but my dd was diagnosed with it at 6.

4) change her diet. Some foods can cause hyperactivity in children, because their little bodies can't process so much of the additives in the foods. I would try a gluten free/casein free diet for a month. I am seriously thinking of cutting these out of my own dd's diet.

5) if none of the above help contact the principal and work your way up through the chain of authority in your school district. I had to do this in 4th grade and still had many problems even after the fact.
Just had older generation teachers who "knew" more than me and were very set in their ways... one method and Teacher NOT accommodating each child's learning style.

6) After all this, if no changes have occurred, and your dd is still unhappy with school. I would home school. I am thinking about doing that now with my dd.

I hope all of these posts help. Above all, talk with your dd and ask her what happens each day at school. She is 5 and a 5 yr old has not learned the "art of lying."

Let us know what happens next.

B.
deaffmommie

Too many people in a classroom. Maybe things will change in 09. I think most of the problem with schools is that teachers teach the way they know how to so many kids and not really paying attention to the needs of the one child. Most teachers are frustrated with the lack of what they have to use and the large number of kids in their classroom. If there is an IB school around check it out. It is a newer system in public schools, but it is working for us. We switched from a private school to attend an IB school. Be patient with your child, don't make her feel worse than she probably already does. Make sure you reward her for the good things she is doing. Make sure she has somehing to be proud of.
I was not good at school at all and I am a very successful Certified Massage Therapist who has supported my child going to a Montessorri school for three years and maintained a house payment with NO HELP FROM ANYONE.
good luck

Dear M., Please look at the entire picture about the situation involving your daughter... not every person who teaches a class can be called a teacher. Maybe the class size and the experience of the teacher along with her expectations are the concern and need to be addressed. I would look into other schools if this teacher is going to continue to expect this level of involvement from a five year old. She is still a child and maybe that needs to be taken into consideration.

All the best for you and your baby,
N. S.

Check other kindergarten's to see what they expect. And also look into Montessori Learning. (I know there is a Montessori School on Pelham.) This age group learns best through play. It's shouldn't be actual "school" time with desks and sitting still and learning stuff from the teacher.

And stop punishing her at home until you know the full picture. If you can visit and observe without be obtrusive, do so. It's unfair to her to punish her if she's just having a hard time adjusting.

And last I knew, with 27 kids, there should be at least two people in that classroom. See what the story is from the aid, if there is one. That's way too many kids in one room.

Your daughter is FIVE and is punished by sentence-writing? Frankly, that's not an appropriate punishment for a five-year-old. At five it would make more sense to find out WHY she is belligerent at school, rather than punishing her every day. If she's punished for school every day, no wonder she hates school.

She might be better off in the resource class. Please don't worry that she'll be stigmatized at this age, or that that is any indication of intelligence. Some kids need the extra boost, or attention. I would request that seh be moved there, honestly.

Remember above all that she is FIVE. You can't force her to act like a third-grader. Kindergarten is supposed to be getting them used to school, not a cramming drill for standardized testing. If she starts off thinking school is a miserable experience, that can be extremely hard to shake. For her to be a happy student, something has to change.

I have a 5 year old I also had a hard time trying to get my little girl to adjust to the big girl classroom. The first month of school she would come home every single day with a sad face well I took that as she just been the worst child in the classroom so I punished her every day for that whole month.. Discouraging to her to the fullest I started noticing that she just hated the fact of school.. So I started asking questions sending notes and to find out the teacher was being way to hard on her and not giving her the time to adjust. She turned 5 at the end of May and school started at the begging of August. I got really involved with her teacher and told her that I think that she is being unfair to my child and that I really do not see where her (child) best interests are at steak for my child and instead of helping my child mold to love school she is pushing this baby to hate school and that is not what her job is to do and if she cant get things together than I will take her out of the class because Im in control of my babies future.All the sad faces was not helping was saying that she cant and wont do it that she just wont try.. Well I told her to sit her in the middle of the class where she cant bother any other child and keep reminding her how she is supposed to act and she knows/thinks that I was popping in and out which is not allowed in our schools but after I did my threatening to the teacher to let her know that you will not do my child just anyway you want to.. things changed and now she has probably had 2 sad faces and maybe 3 straight faces the rest are happy or stars.. not to mention that her attitude of school changed and she loves reading her books that are sent home and there are learning websites that they work on there smart boards in the class that she gets on at home and I have to make her get off she loves it so much and would stay on all day if I let her. You know your child best and if you think that she can do it I would not suggest that you place her in the challenging class unless it is your last option the last thing that you would want to do is discourage her and this teacher does not seem to be want to work that extra little bit that it will take until she is comfortable with the change theses kids have fragile minds and they do not understand change as we do and the teachers are just trying to push off the challenging students to the other teachers to make there job easy when its really just a little more attention and time needed with certain kids. I hope this helps!!!

I'm a mother, but I'm also a teacher and can give you a little insight as to what may be happening here.

I totally, 100% agree that children should not be starting kindergarten knowing how to read. They're now teaching high school math in 5th and 6th grade! Kids are consistently being asked to perform tasks that are above normal developmental ability.

Why? Where is all this insanity coming from?

Because we have no choice. And that's the bottom line.

In GA we have performance standards that ALL children must achieve (whether special ed. or not). These must be proven on high-stakes tests so that the United States can look as if they compare with European and Japanese education systems. If our students fail, we teachers are held responsible. School systems are even moving towards adjusting pay according to how well students perform on the CRCT. If you were a teacher, you'd be a little psycho too about a child who doesn't fit into the mold.

The reasoning behind all this craziness is sound enough: raising standards is not a bad thing. But they went too far. Now we're forcing all our children to compete with the best and brightest of other countries. We used to teach to our lowest kids, which is not appropriate, but now we have to teach to our highest kids and hope the majority also catch on.

INSANE!

No sure if that's public or private but 27 kids is too many either way. My kids are in a public school and limit is 21 as far as concentration my son had ADHD and three diff doctor's not knowing each other tested him....he's doin better now he's on a daytrana patch (not for everyone) just a thought. I'd get all the extra help i could get one on one resource class whatever it takes. I know kids learn in a different manner check out some websites for parents that homeschool and sue some of the material they use to help her with reading. There's also so books with cd's you can buy to help her. I would make at least 1/2 no less then 20 mins a night of you reading to her and getting some books for her to read with you the more you read together the better. Best wishes.

I'm sorry to hear this. My son is in Kindergarten and is being taught those things. There wasn't any expectation other than that he be able to write his first name. It sounds as if the teacher is overwhelmed by having so many students in her class. I was under the impression that the states limits are below 20 per class for K. I don't think that you all should be punitive for getting 'bad marks' at school. She's still a Kindergartener and her life should not be that stressful. She should be getting exercise, playing, being read to and sleeping in her off time from school. I'd have a chat with the counselor at your school who works with the Kindergarten class and see what they have to say about the situation. Take notes as you go along this journey, so that you have a written document of what's happening to refer back to. Something doesn't sound right with this teacher.

Speaking as a past 5K teacher, it is usually very difficult to get help for a child unless the parent and teacher work together. Try working with the teacher to create a reward based incentive program that is used at school and at home. One suggestion is a daily journal that the teacher writes to you about your daughters day and you read and sign it each night. At the end of the week if she has good reports you can take her somewhere special(like to the park, or have movie night, or make her favorite dinner) as a reward. Ask the teacher what phonics program she is using in the classroom and if there are any extra materials you can use to help your daughter at home. Spend thirty minutes a day working on phonics with your daughter (this includes reading to her from story books). One of my students favorite games to play was making letters and words with playdough. I would say a letter sound and they would have to create that letter with playdough and then tell me the letter name. Once they were able to do that we began making words with the playdough. Another idea is to use letter tiles to identify letters and sounds (like the kind from scrabble if you have it in your house). You can also use alphabet beads and string them together to make words. Magnetic letters on the fridge are also a great inexpensive way to expose her to more phonics. A very expensive option is to take your daughter to Sylvan Learning Center. They do a great job, but they are costly. The most important thing to do is stay involved and have frequent communication with the teacher. Let me know what phonics program they use and I will try to give you ideas specific to that program if I can. I hope these ideas help you and give you a place to start. Good Luck.

Hi M.,
I went through a similar situation with my son last year - so your not alone. My son is one of the younger kids in class and had just turned five before he started K5, so he was behind some of the other kids in his class. After placing him in the "resource class" (which for our school is an afterschool program twice a week) for the spring semester I found him excelling. I was very happy to see him score well on his kindergarten test making average and above average scores in each area tested. He's now in first grade and doing well. Without the help from last year though I don't know that he would be doing as well now. So yes, your daughter is capable of keeping up she may just need some TLC that isn't available in a class of 27. Also our church offered tutoring on a one on one basis that helped tremendously during the first semester. Take care and stopping worrying yourself. You're doing great!

Wow M.,

I'm also shocked. This is ridiculous. This teacher is definitely asking way too much of your daughter. It is so tragic that more teachers aren't able to combine what we know about brain development with how we teach our children the basics.

My daughter just started kindergarten this year too. I was so amazed when her teacher told us on parent night that any child who can read before the age of 7 is just impressing friends and family. She's right! Brain development research has proven that there are some children who will read before age 7 and some will read right on time - at 7. What is normal? Any range between age 4 and 8 is normal for a child to start reading. By 2nd grade any child who was struggling in kindergarten is all caught up. I'm so sorry your teacher is putting so much pressure on your daughter. I'm sad to hear that you have had to punish her for getting bad marks. How can your daughter develop a love of learning and reading and school when it's such a negative experience??

I would definitely get her out of that classroom or out of that school. Perhaps there's a charter school? If you have no alternative, I would go ahead with the resource room. However, be aware that the public school tends to track kids and once they are tracked, it can be hard to move them up.

I'm so sorry that this is your first experience with school. Lots of hugs for your little girl! 27 kids is a lot for a teacher.

I would love to help you further and support you. You don't have to punish your child in order for her behavior to change. Let me know if you want to talk further.

All the Best,
R.
www.noblemother.com

Dear M.,
I am a speech therapist (which is under the special ed.area)I also have a daughter who taught kindergarten for three years. I know each school system is different but I would assume they would have to do a complete evaluation on your daughter before they can put her in any Resource class. Are they talking about ADHD characteristics? You might want to actually meet with the Resource teacher and talk with her. Another suggestion would be to go into your daughter's class and observe what she is doing as well as the other children. If you want to contact me my email address is:
____@____.com I hope this helps.
S.

M.- K can be a very hard thing to get used to - my middle child (5 and in K) has had a difficult yr- not getting in trouble- but just being hairy after school- he's tired- overworked and underpaid! it's abig adjustment. The class size does sound a little large! my son has 20 in his class as compared to 11 in his pre-K last yr. Also- you have to consider- is there a "bully" or someone in her class that might be making life difficult for her? Is her teacher not in control of the classroom? and just being into the 3 rd month of school is a bit much to ask a K to already be reading- it sounds like your teacher doesnt give much care to her students...see if you can change her teacher or move to another classroom- with a little more attentive teacher. (use word creativity here)- My son is used to a more structure environment and also a class where the teacher demands respect- but on teh other hand they were free to be who they were- he did awesome in pre-K last yr and NEVER got in trouble- he was happy! this year- its complete chaos- and he has a few "trouble" kids in his class- which he is drawn to, being a boy who just wants to have fun! so- this year is a little more challenging for him. Make sure she gets plenty of love from you when she gets home and plenty of outdoor play!!!It helps to burn your energy after a stressful day!
Good Luck with everything. Don't stress too much- it's only Kindergarten!
Nikki

You've gotten a lot of great responses. I just wanted to add that my son is in K this year (public school). There are just 16 in his class with both a teacher and a parapro. When I am there I can see that there is a very big range in what the kids know... some are now doing some reading and writing, and some are still working on letters and sounds. That class size sounds HUGE to me. I just don't know what the answer is... but I'd certainly confer with the school/counselors. One thing... and I don't know your area... but my son attended a church preschool at age 4... this school also offered a Kindergarten and first grade... very small class sizes. While we didn't choose it, seemed that a lot of parents did who were on the fence about holding their kids back a year... seemed like a good way to ease kids into public school who may not be ready yet for such big classes. I don't know if something like that is available where you are. Good luck to you.

Your child will begin learn to read in kindergarten. She should be learning letters and their sounds as well as sight words. However, she will continue to really learn to read as well as comprehend what she is reading in first grade. Does your school have a process for referring a child for resource? There should be a process of referral, parental consent, and testing to see if your child even needs to be in resource. I would definitely check on this!!!! Every child learns at a different rate. Kindergarten should be a fun learning time. It is not first grade!! Your child should be learning how to socialize and follow the rules too. Give her time--- she will blossom when she is ready!

My son goes to private school and while he didnt have to read entering K he had to be well on his way knowing sight words and reading simple books. I got the message in Jan that my son may not go to 1st if things didnt pick up. I was baffled and couldnt understand since he seemed so smart and all the papers were coming home with good marks. I figured out that he really didnt want to be there. I had a talk with him and explained that he was going to school every year for a long time and that just like momma and daddy had jobs; he did too and it was going to school and doing well. Once I focused him on the fact that things were not going to change and that he better get used to it and start applying himself everything has changed and now he can read just about anything (the best reading group in class) and is on Honor roll. You may just check with your daughter this may be more emotional (especially if she didnt go to PreK)than anything. Also it sounds like your daughter goes to a public school with 27 in her class. If at all possible, I would look into private school. Most have class sizes less than 18 and they really arent that expensive my son's is what I pay in daycare for my daughter or about $400 a month. Otherwise, you will need to work with your daughter because the teacher is basically telling you that she doesnt have enough time to do it and that your daughter is falling behind. I am not sure how your kid's school is teaching her to read but there is a sight word system and a phonics system. My son's school teaches them simulanteously which really helps.

What about homeschooling her? Personally we find alot of the waldorf principals work for us especially in letting 5yos still be children and do all the things your daughter is getting in trouble for. Even with homeschooling there can be some regression my daughter went to visit her father and they thought she should have learned thing other than what she had and were quizzing her in a very non productive way so the beginning reader came back home after 4 weeks saying "I can't" because thats what she had been told that XYZ was too difficult for her and she couldn't or that so and so was already doing this so maybe she is overhearing how she is in the lower reading group and all the getting in trouble is just discouraging her even further and making it harder for her to even want to learn.

I know if my 4yo were to ever set foot in a classroom people would be screaming to have him medicated for adhd when personally I think medication should be a last resort and ironically he at 4 much to my wanting him to slow down is further ahead of where my 9yo was at the same age. Its all about finding out what works for each child. Please look into other things before medication though.

Dear M.:

I am so sorry for what you are having to go through and in all honesty...I think now a days the school system DOES expect a lot more than what our children can often sometimes deliver. Remember your child is 5 years old. She has never been in an atmosphere where she HAD to be quiet and was expected to be quiet when told AND for the amount of time expected to be quiet, never expected much of anything because she was a toddler, a baby, etc. Now we are introducing them to Kindergarten and it's a HUGE adjustment. School only began about 3 months ago. My twins have already learned SOOOOOO much and yes there are days that they get into trouble as well. However, I feel like we as parents are forced to think that our children should be at a certain level or whatever. You have to remember each child is different and just like potty training your child. They are not going to get it on the first try! They are going to have "accidents". I think the teacher is putting the expectations too high and perhaps she would do better in a smaller class where she can have a little bit more attention than the teacher is willing/can give. Don't get me wrong I tip my hat off to these teachers that have to "teach" 27 kids day in and day out. However, Kindergarten is in my opinion a "training class". Yes, they are teaching them and preparing them for the next level but they are also trying to teach them what is expected of them.
As I said before it has only been about 3 months! Give the poor child a chance. If you started a new career where you had to basically learn from scratch and learn with other 26 individuals would you have it down pact in 3 months, 6 months? I know I wouldn't and we all learn at different levels. I say give her more time if that makes YOU comfortable. Or if it makes YOU more comfortable to move her down to a smaller class - than do it. Do not let someone else dictate what is best for your child. YOU know your child best and maybe putting her in a smaller class would be better and you don't want her getting behind either so even if you wanted to wait and give her another month before you decide to move her on down. I know that the school system wants them to be able to do certain things by a certain time. However, with some that just is not the case. Luckily for myself my twins are 5 1/2 and just started Kindergarten this year since their B-days are in Decemeber that gave us a whole year for them to mature a little more and gave us an opportunity to work with them a little more as well. They were in pre-k for a little while so they were somewhat "prepared" for Kindergarten but their were others that knew more than mine, but I didn't care because I knew that they would eventually learn it and grasp it. Mine could barely count to 20 when they first started. They came home this weekend and counted to 100! I couldn't believe it! However, they do have other weakness. I have not been to a conference as of yet so I am interested to hear what the teachers have to say, but I am not your regular parent and it might propose an issue with the school later on but I just feel they expect too much and I am not too shy to say so and they can think whatever they want to, but I think my children will be fine. They have positive role models and they have plenty of people to help them with any struggle. I am not the patient kind and I tend to lose my patience with one of mine because she gets an attitude of I can't do it when she gets frustrated and I know where she gets it from but I just have to remember that she cannot learn ALL of it in one night and for a teacher to expect that is just wrong and I am not saying that she is expecting that but just give the poor child a chance! Just my two, three cents! :-)

Sometimes it is more of an issue of immaturity. Five year old children vary so incredibly much during this age. I know your teacher probably has some legitimate concerns, but it sounds like she is coming across very negatively. Did you have behavior problems before she began school? If you didn't, I would be very concerned about punishing her so much for things that MAY be out of her control. It sounds as though there is a lot of frustration on her part. If she doesn't improve a lot during the rest of the year, you may want to consider holding her back a year. You don't want to see her struggle from now on and be miserable. Talk with her teacher to see what other opitons there are ~ as far as private tutoring, your help, etc. But, remember, she is still a little girl who is having to make a lot of adapting right now. Good luck!

Hi M.,

I'm agreeing with Beth on this one. A 5 year old is supposed to be learning by playing at this age. Sitting still is a new thing that centuries of brilliant scholars never made anyone do...

If there is a "concentration" issue, I would attribute it to intelligence more than a disability to learn. My husband was labeled remedial until they tested his IQ and it was off the chart! People, not just kids, learn differently. If there is any interference with her learning or if SHE is frustrated you may want to look at outside stimuli. (I can help with that if you're interested. I have personal experience there.)Otherwise I wouldn't worry...When I went to school they taught reading in First Grade, not kindergarten. I think we did okay!

God bless!

M.

First of all, M., THANK GOD you are a caring Mother! As many here, I too, understand where you are with your child.
IF YOU HEAR NOTHING ELSE, FIRST, TAKE THIS SLOWLY AND TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS.

As other Moms have said, either going ahead with the resource class OR having her begin after she is a year older might be better for her. The best thing that can happen in either instance is the pressure will be GREATLY reduced and your child can learn to enjoy her educational process. IF she becomes frustrated with school now, can you imagine what her middle school years will be like? Do all YOU can tomake this a gentle, reassuring transition for your little one!! Even consider asking that she be placed in another regular classroom. Perhaps this teacher isn't a good fit for your daughter... I am also concerned about her "staying in trouble every evening." PLEASE TRY POSITIVE REINFORCEMENTS LIKE GOOD BEHAVIOR CHARTS. FIND WAYS TO SEE THE GOOD THINGS SHE DOES, EVEN WHEN IT'S HARD! SHE WILL BEGIN WORKING HARDER TO DO THE RIGHT THINGS TO BE PRAISED FOR! IT TAKES A WHILE BUT TRY IT FOR HER WELL BEING!! Try and be forgiving when she fails and help her see the good within herself! You are a good Mom and you can do this, dear!

My son was in resource most of his life and I THANK GOD for it! Because of the foundation he received he went on to College and has a degree. We encouraged him to always do HIS best and he did!! people said he'd never graduate H.S.) GOD IS GOOD! Today I am praying for you and your daughter!! L.

my name is J. I have a 8 year old son that sounds just like you'r daughter he always got bad marks in school would'nt pay attention and was lacking in reading and math we met with the school so many times i thought we should be on payroll but any way we took all that to his doctor we showed him statements from all the teachers he saw every day we took his progress reports that way the doctor knew better what was going on and he was diagnosed with ADHD so we tried him on (adderal xr) that was the only medication that did'nt give him head aches but it has made a big difference in his school work his grades are improving realy well and he doese go to a resorce teacher for reading for 1 hour a day and he reads to me now but understand your daughter might not need medication but I would take it to her doctor just to find out what you can do for her I did and im greatfull he is doing so well and you know she can to she just might need some help getting there thats all. sincerely J. v.

I am a certified elementary school teacher. If I were in your shoes, I would set up an appointment to meet with the school counselor. I would ask to see my child's work samples and assessment results and have them explained to me. I would want to know exactly how my child's work compares to the "standard." I would want specific tips that I could employ at home to help my child make academic gains. It could be the defiance is a result of frustration caused by not understanding the work that is being asked of her.

Officially, in the state of Georgia, children are not expected to enter kindergarten able to read. In fact, teaching letter recognition and letter sounds is a huge part of the beginning of kindergarten. Some students enter K ready to read, but not all.

Hope this helps!

It is very interesting to me the number of moms who think a kid shouldn't be reading by the time they enter Kindergarten. I guess it just depends on the person. I was reading at 4 and entered kindergarten. My daughter is 4 and is reading, writing sentences and adding. She just entered preK. Each child learns at a different pace, but I think we should encourage them especially if we are SAHMs. Like I said, everybody is different and learns at a different pace. You have to find what works best for you. For instance in our home we don't turn the t.v on until 4pm. I watch Oprah and the news and other stuff after the kids go to bed. We don't get up and turn the t.v on and we don't use it as background noise. Maybe you should rearrange some of what's going on at home - With that being said, some teachers just don't have the time to provide a child with what they need. 27 kids in a class is wayyyyy too many. I'm guessing there's an aid in the class and hopefully two. Don't let them label your daughter. Talk to her and find out what's going on in her little head. It sounds to me like the teacher has just given up. Encourage her. She's already getting too much negativity at school, she doesn't need it at home too. The teacher needs to realize that there are a variety of kids in Kindergarten. Some have been to preschool for 3-4 yrs, some have been schooled at home, some are having their first experience with school. Only you know which category your daughter fits into...hang in there and don't be too hard on her, she's only 5!

hi,
does she have a spring/summer birthday? it sounds to me like she may be immature...and possibly could do kindergarten again to buy some time. 27 kids is an awful lot at that age...are there two teachers in the room? also, never have i heard of a k5 where all of the kids are reading going in...the teacher may be asking too much...that's her job...to teach them to read...HOWEVER, not in kindergarten...usually they learn the phonics first, letters and the sounds, putting them together, and really start reading in first grade...they are really rushing it...maybe don't stress the punishment...let her get some energy out after school...playing, etc...i really think they are expecting too much...it's alot of pressure at that age to do all of that...just getting used to being in school all day is an adjustment for them...while i think she should pay attention, and listen and follow the rules...paying attention and following rules are the things they are supposed to learn in kindergarten...and come with maturity. i taught kindergarten, and although it is frustrating when there are some kids who don't seem to be as "ready" or mature, that is what it's all about...it is their first year in school, let's not forget...and they have a long way to go...they should be enjoying it, so they don't grow to dislike being there...talk to the principal, and see exactly what the expectations are, and maybe, only if she really isn't ready for first grade, keep her in kindergarten next year...with another teacher...and stress the fun of school...good luck!!

Your daughter is 5!!! I think they expect way to much. How can they learn in a class of 27!!
My son just started this year at a private school (K5), he has 3 in his class and is learning leaps and bounds but still with lots of help. Would private school or home schooling be an option? Do you work? Home school only takes an hour a day and they learn more because they have one on one.
Anyway don't get discouraged, she's just little. I don't think there being fair to her. Kids are expected so much of these days.

M.:
I went through the same thing when my daughter was in k-4. She wouldn't try to write the alphabet. She went into a resource class, which helped her a lot. The resource class will provide a lot of help to your daughter.
P. S