Keeping Toddler in Bed at Night

We have a little girl that was a lot like this. At that age she would do pretty much the same thing. However, I didn't stress it. I just put her in her room around 9:30 or so and she would play quietly in there until she was ready for bed. there were plenty of nights i still heard her playing at 11:30 or so. This just was never much of a problem for me though.

She'll be three in September and she has finally settled into a more typical routine. She never did pick the nap back up, she was done with that, but she wakes around 7 AM and goes to sleep before 9 every night.

Perhaps this will help some.

I would try small changes first. The first thing being stern and consistent when it comes to bed/nap times. Just keep putting him there and telling him it's time for sleep and he'll eventually stay. If you think he isn't tired enough, I would maybe shorten nap time a bit, say 30 minutes or so and go from there. All these moms that let their kids give up naps must be saints. I'm dreading that day and tend to keep them as long as possible!!

It's because he is out of his crib. But I wouldn't put him back in it, imo, because he'll have to eventually learn to stay in bed...the sooner the better. When my oldest was 16 months old I took him out of his crib, because we needed it for our 2 month old. My 16 month old did the very exact same thing. No naps...too much freedom, but that's okay.

What I did with getting him to bed at night was just sit beside his bed, tucked him in and kept my eyes closed. Each time he tried to get out, I would just put him back in there...I was right there.

I did the same thing with my 2nd son, but my 2nd son was different from my first son. My 2nd son would get out of the bed during the middle of the night and come in there to where we were. I just either picked him up (said nothing) or walked him back to his bed, tucked him in (gave him a hug and a kiss) and went back to my bed. I kept it quiet with no talking. Did he get out again? Yes! But I continued to do the very same thing EACH AND EVERY TIME he did this. He eventually gave up and stayed in bed. (My 2nd son was 18-19 months old when we took him out of his crib.) He couldn't reach the light, so that was never a factor. So I'd probably remedy that with putting duct tape or something over it until he gets used to staying in bed, etc. Good luck!

Maybe try using the air mattress that he slept on while vacationing to transition. When my boys were little (they are now 17 (6'4")and 18 (6'5"), (13 months apart), in order to get any sleep at all, once they started getting out of their beds and coming into my room, they either slept with me or they slept on the floor on a pallet. I know this is a "no no" in the perfect world, but my boys are fine and sleeping with me on and off until they were 4 or 5 didn't hurt them at all plus we all got to sleep. I say do whatever works for you and forget what anyone else says.

Ahh, you're living my life. Except that mine has added the wake up call in Mommy's room between 2 and 4 every night. This started about 4 or 5 weeks ago for us, and has happened every night until 3 nights ago. We usually leave a light on in the livingroom so that when he makes his trek across the house to wake us up he doesn't get hurt.

Well, I decided that I would try turning that off and just leaving the light on under the mocrowave. (It gives off a VERY faint light. Just enough to see but not enough to be a real light.) He has slept the whole night through and gone to sleep more easily since. I guess the light was bothering him. So not his room is nearly pitch black when he goes to bed. He does have a crib-light-song toy thing straped to the side of his bed that he can turn on if he needs light.

In addition, when he first started sleeping in his bed and not in the crib (at 22 months because he learned to climb out) i would sit in the rocking chair in his room silently until he went to sleep. My presence was enough to keep him in his bed, and then he fell asleep faster.

Good luck!

I moved my oldest child out of the crib in preparation for the birth of our second child. He was 14 months old at the time and has not napped since. With the other children I waited longer to take them out of the crib and they napped longer. My fourth child took naps until she was three, which was wonderful. My fifth child is now 15 months old. I may keep him in the crib until he's three. It's worth it. The only other way I know to get a child to nap is to lock them in their bedroom, usually with a babygate at the door. You can't make them sleep, but the confinement of the crib helps. My five year old still gets up and down and up and down when I put her to bed at night. There's not an easy fix. I'd vote with your husband on this one. In the long run, it's not going to matter whether the child spent an extra year in the crib or not, and no one in kindergarten is even going to ask. I wish you the best...and lots of peaceful sleep.

My sister-in-law did the crib thing with her son. She told him if he got out of bed again that he was going back to the crib.... no more big-boy-bed. (He was almost 2 at the time) Well, he did, so she put the crib back together and he had to sleep in it for like 3 months! When she brought the big-boy-bed back out, she has never had another problem with him getting out of it. He's now 4! LOL! At our house we did things a little differently. When my daughter started doing that and wouldn't heed my warnings, I took ALL of her toys out of her room. She stopped THAT DAY! Now for naptime, she is allowed to take SEVERAL toys (stuffed animals, baby dolls, books, etc...pretty much whatever she can carry to bed) to her bed and play with them. But she doesn't get off the bed or turn the light on. Oh, also, we installed one of those battery powered lights (you know the ones that stick on the wall and you push to turn on?) on the wall above her pillow. It's not very bright, but it keeps her happy, especially at night. We just bought rechargeable batteries for it. ;-) Anyway, just some ideas..... good luck!!

Establish an exact time for bedtime at night and at nap time. Allow him to sleep only about an hour for this nap. If he goes down at 1 you wake him up at 2 pm. If his night bedtimes is 8 pm if he gets up or turns the light on or is playing with a toy take the toy(s)away and do not let him have these the next day. He is old enough to understand about rewards for good behaviour. You may need to take all the toys out of his room and return them only when he has stayed in the bed and only return them 1 at a time. These can be earned from nap time or night bedtime. Establish a routine prior to bedtime. Read his favorite book. 5 minutes of your special time can help.

I wouldn't go back to the crib. I think you just need to be firm about nap time. Keep telling him he needs to get back into bed. Maybe he can look at some books... or something else quiet. You can't make him sleep but you can make him stay in his room. That's what I do with mine and my five year old STILL falls asleep most afternoons (after telling me he's not tired and doesn't want a nap!). Be firm with nighttime too about staying in bed, not playing, not turning on the lights. He'll get there if you stay consistent. Sounds like he's just experimenting with his new-found freedom. And missing that nap could be making him overtired... making it harder to sleep at night?

It is hard to keep them in bed once they are out of the crib. I agree that it is a good time to make the transition since he is already kind of used to it.

We had my sons give up nap time when they made the transition to the big boy bed at 2.5 yrs, as then they were pretty tired by bedtime and fought it less. We moved bedtime up an hour (from 8pm to 7pm) to help adjust for the loss for the loss of the nap. We do try to keep them moving in late afternoon (a walk, bath time, stay at the pool until 5:30/6pm etc, NO TV), because as you've learned, a 5 minute late afternoon doze/catnap means they are wide awake until 10 or 11pm. Just keep them moving, no quiet activities after 4pm.

One other thing, when we moved them to big boy beds (they are twins and share the same room) to avoid "party time" at bedtime my husband and I took turns sitting in a chair on the landing outside the closed door of their room. The minute we heard little feet hit the floor or too much squealing we whipped opened the door and told them sternly to get back into bed/stop talking/go to sleep etc. Sort of an All Knowing Voice of God kind of thing. It was very stressful at the time but it really did only take around 3-4 nights, then we could safely stay downstairs and have some time to ourselves! We do allow them to pick a book or two to take to bed with them so they can read read quietly if they can't sleep immediately.

This is what worked for us - good luck!

Liz

M. I feel for you! We have just recently gone through this ourselves & I have a lot to say on the topic.......

My child will be 2 on Aug 12th but started climbing out of his crib when he was 21 mos old. I have to add 2 important factors ~ 1) this was 1 mo after my 2nd child was born and the exact DAY my 4 weeks of family help left town and 2) he is highly, highly "spirited". So we started out really tired with not much patience. Also I think we have an extreme case here bc I have not met anyone yet who has endured all that we have had to (although surely there's someone!).

First we converted his crib to a toddler bed bc we figured it was too dangerous since he could easily climb out of the crib. He had a baby gate at his door to keep him at least confined to his room & had a couple books in bed. Then we attempted the Super Nanny technique. We put him in his bed, said goodnight, told him to stay on his bed, and quietly left the room. The second he got out we went back in, put him back in the bed, said goodnight again, & told him not to leave the bed. When he got out the 2nd time we put him back in the bed but said nothing and gave no eye contact (this is what she recommends). Well, after putting the child back in his bed 30-40 times (I am not exaggerating) we were exhausted, but he was also exhausted & finally gave up. We thought ok, if we can somehow find the strength to do this for 1 solid week (at naptime AND bedtime) then surely he will get over it & realize that we are not playing. And for the record, he knew we weren't playing from the beginning bc I am pretty strict & consistent but he really didn't care bc there was way too much freedom there. So we did this routine for 1 solid week and it continued & was basically a nightmare. He usually took 2 or 2.5 hrs to go to sleep, we were dripping with sweat from picking him up 40 times, I was concerned about the baby not getting adequate attention, and everyone was angry & exhausted.

So after 1 week we altered our approach. We would sit in his room & do the same routine (as opposed to right outside the door). The thought here was that our presence would deter him. Again, he pulled the same thing over & over & over again. So we started sitting right next to his bed. But same thing.

So after another solid week of this we tried spanking him when he got off the bed. This also did not work. This was also very upsetting for all of us & not effective.

So we tried for 3 weeks to get him to stay in the bed on his own bc that is what friends told us, the internet said, Super Nanny, etc, and he never did. Everyone said he would get tired of fighting us & get the picture but he never did. We now have come to the conclusion (after reading a little more on the internet) that he is too young and just does not have the capacity to stop himself from doing something that he really wants to do even though he knows it is wrong. The article used some other terminology but can't remember exactly. Also, we realized that our child was controlling us & that was a big part of why it was all so difficult - that was not a good feeling & we felt it wasn't healthy for any of us.

So we considered other options (which trust me, we had previously considered but were not at our rope's end to do until this point). So the options we found are:

1) convert his bed back to a crib and use a crib tent. This didn't work for us bc our child is so spirited my husband was afraid he would try to climb out anyway & somehow get tangled & really hurt himself. Lots of parents on the internet safety pin the 2 zippered ends together to keep children in bc I guess some of them figure out how to unzip themselves.

2) confine then in their room (with either baby gate or by locking them in - yikes!) & let them run wild until they eventually pass out. This also didn't work for us bc once when he climbed out of his bed in the morning I let him stay in there unattended for 5 mins & he pulled the dresser over on himself. It was at that moment I realized his room was not ENTIRELY baby proofed, meaning furniture was not bracketed to the wall, he has curtains he could pull on, there are blinds he might get tangled in, there are things in there I don't want destroyed (like Longaberger baskets & nice toys & books). So this option only works if the room is COMPLETELY baby proofed or as our pediatrician recommended - just take every single thing out of their room except the bed & a few small toys & books you don't care about. My husband & I were not willing to do this. Lots of people subscribe to this but my feeling is bedtime should be bedtime - not playtime until they get so tired they decide to fall asleep. Toddlers should go to sleep when you tell them (or at least stay on their bed & play/talk/sing hopefully quietly until they fall asleep).

So my step father suggested a wonderful alternative that is still working today (3 mos later). We bought a huge playyard (the tallest & largest one we could find) and encircled his bed with it. Since it can still be moved around or he could push it so that he could jump off the side of his bed outside the playyard we had to secure it everywhere. It is jerry-rigged to his bed in 2 places, to the closet on one side, to the chair on the other side of the room, and secured again with another chair to keep it even more stable (it could probably be bent down enough to climb over). This is working!!!!! hallelujah One thing is though, he could someday figure out that the whole thing can be lifted up & he could crawl under but we're hoping that is has been secured enough that he won't be able to easily lift it.

We also recently discovered another alternative. A travel bed (sold by Sensational Beginnings. etc) that looks like a little pup tent. We had to hold the zipper closed & also make sure he didn't push it around so much he hurt himself or roll over with it, but this also has worked while on vacation.

I'm sure it sounds like my child is an absolute terror, but truly he is just so spirited & having fun & exploring things. He does not have a temper as a stranger recently suggested, but destroys things in his room when left alone bc he's having fun & learning about the world and is so young. Sorry so long on your answer here. I think it's partly selfish of me bc I, too, would love to hear from people on this topic as to what has worked for them or what they have had to go through. I tell you, to date, this has been the worst experience as a parent, but I love my children & want the best for them & realize this is just the beginning. ha ha ha!!! :)

M., if I were you I would put him back in a crib until he climbs out. What's wrong with being in a crib? Mine really likes to have his own confined little space and if yours will be safe I'd let it go until you have to deal with it.

My 1st child we had to take her out of the crib so that the new baby could have it. She was 18 months. We did not do the toddler bed she went to a full size big bed. One side was up againt the wall were she could not fall and get stuck the other side i put pollows. She is now four and has only fallen once. What we did and still do is she can take one book and a toy that she picks out. It cannot be anything that has sound. We read the book together then she gets to read by herself. She can only get up to use the bathroom. She was also an early potty trainer. At nap times if she does not sleep then she has to lay on her bed and rest for the naptime and she can have a book. Well my 2nd child went to a toddler bed at 24 months. He is now 2 1/2. We let him have a book and one toy that does not make any sound. He can set in the bed and read the book or play with his toy. He can get up if he needs to go to the potty. (he is potty training) but that is all/ We leave a small light on in the bathroom for them. ( he does not get up yet) We also moved their bed time up by thrity mins. b/c we saw that it was taking them 30 mins. to unwind in the bed. We also made a big deal about them being big kids and not babies b/c they were in big beds. We let them help pick out thinks for the new room. Taking down the baby stuff that went with the crib. I know it is hard the first few weeks but you and your husband need to find something that works for the two of you. I would not move him back to a crib. I look at it kind of like once you have them in pull ups do not put a daiper back on them.
As one of my friends tells me this to will pass.
Good luck

I went through this with my daughter too. The first week or so was so easy, then she figured out she could just get out. I ended up sitting outside her door until she fell asleep. Every time she got up I would just pick her up and put her back in bed. After a week or two of that she was fine. Good luck!

M.:
My husband and I didn't move our son and daughter out of their baby beds until they were 3 years old.
P. S