I started laughing when I read that the friend said they were 'grown up jobs'. What the heck?
When I was eight, I was doing laundry, doing dishes, helping with trash/cleanups, picking rocks out of the garden, cleaning my room, vacuuming, raking the yard, making my lunch for school and so much more.
Your SIL is laughable. I know women like this. Just don't say "I told you so" when their kids move back in with them because jobs are "hard".
My son is seven. He's expected to help set the table, he vacuums the areas of the house which need cleaning, he is expected to have his room relatively passable, bed made nice each morning, help in the garden in whatever capacity I ask (usually watering or picking berries or emptying buckets of yard debris when I'm working); he washes the kitchen floor for 'extra' money (his allowance is small, he is offered 'dollar jobs' as they come up after the regular 'family/self help' jobs are done). He even has a small broom and dustpan I bought him last year after I got tired of saying "eat over the table" and is expected to tidy up when we ask.
Wait on children? Ha! Our son knows how to get his own fizzy water, make himself a sandwich, get out yogurt or cereal, and golly gee, clean up after himself. Hungry? He asks and then can get himself a carrot, some almonds or other healthy snacks-- he just asks us first.
I also plan on avoiding a lot of embarrassment when he hits his adolescent years by having him to his own laundry by the time he's 11. That way I don't have to know about the state of his sheets or socks. (Sorry, kinda crude, but that's just based on what I know about boys and guys in general.)
Overall, I guess it's going to be one of those situations where we tell our kids "well, every family is different", right? :) Teaching kids to do chores isn't just about making them 'do work', it's also about giving them a lot of foundation for how to do these things when they are gone away from home. Eventually I'll be expecting, in his teens, that he helps with making dinner so he knows how to cook for himself, and not just out of boxes.
I'm sure some parents love doing laundry for their college-aged kids, and one day I might feel like doing Kiddo's laundry when he's home visiting: but out of love, not because I feel I 'have to' because he never learned when he was younger.