Last week my 5 year old daughter took her first gymnastics lesson and loved it (she had a female coach). When we went to leave, we found out the regular coach is male and my daughter immediately said she didn't want a male coach and refused to go back. She gets a lot of anxiety (crying and hides behind me) when she gets any type of coach that is male. This has been going on since she was about 2 1/2 years old. I've always been at her classes and there has never been a traumatic event to explain this problem. She loves the gymnastics class and I hate to see her miss out because of this issue. This class is only taught by this coach, so changing classes isn't an option. H
Has anyone else had this type of problem (doesn't do well with men)? How do you deal with it?
Thanks to everyone that answered----your advice was great! We took her early on the first day and introduced her to her new coach and let them know about our issue. She wouldn't speak to anyone, but went out with everyone else and it went great! By the end she was giving him high fives and loved the class. I'm going to say this is an age related thing and I'm hoping we are almost out of this phase! Now lets hope the next lesson goes as well as the last one!
Thanks again!
Someone else asked this exact thing about a month ago or so. I tried looking for it but I couldn't find it. =) It seems like an age thing but maybe she'd really like him if she gave him a try. Maybe you can encourage her to give him a try or maybe it would help for her to meet him first. Good luck!!
I would take her to talk to the coach when it is not time for class and perhaps pay for one private lesson so they can get to know each other with you present? Or else ask if she can remain in a female coach's class.
As a kid and even today, I tend to prefer female practitioners.. however, in my case, I was molested and that had a lot to do with it.. however, do note, and I am not trying to scare you... BUT you mention you have always been there and no traumatic event has ever taken place.. Consider for a moment, IF something did take place in her life, it didn't have to take place with a coach, maybe something (not even necessarily sexual) has taken place.. could be a certain tone of voice is alarming to her.. a specific gesture... maybe even the male energy ... sometimes kids are very sensitive to things that we as adults are not...
Now this is different.. but my son is very afraid of dogs.. everyone will ask, was he ever bitten or attacked, to that I say no.... people assume you have to have some bad experience with a specific thing for you to have fear of it.. in his case, unless I don't know about it, he was never bitten.. and to this day, he is still VERY afraid of dogs... now that he is older (9) he is better able to verbalize his fears and simply says, I don't like a dog's energy (esp the little feisty ones) those are very upsetting to him... no matter how I try and explain to him that "most" dogs are just wanting to have fun, he nonetheless is still afraid..
so maybe there is more to your daughter's fear than meets the eye.. however, you may not find out exactly what it is until she is older... when she can put into more words what she is senses..
I wish you the best
My daughter is almost 5 and has always done better with women. Her pediatrician was a man up until she was about 1 1/2. She cried at every appt and I thought she just didn't like the doc's office. One day, he was not available to see her so I made an appt with a female doc. She didn't cry at all. I immediately changed docs and she has been fine ever since. Maybe it is just a little girl thing.
